Graham: "All right, all right. Who cut the cheese?"

Gavin Doosler: (o.s.)"Yo, coach!"
Graham: "Shut up, Doosler!"

Elizabeth Lubbock: Honey, where are your sisters?
Sherry Lubbock: They're at the library studying.
Coach Graham T. Lubbock: The library?
Sherry Lubbock: I just report the lies. I don't make them up.

Elizabeth: "Graham, Cindy can't help it. She was just blessed with -- certain assets."
J.R.: "Them too."

Graham: "Men are pigs."
Elizabeth: "All men?"
Graham: "All men."

Graham: "...only losers meet at mixers."
Elizabeth: "Graham, we met at a mixer."

Cindy: "What else is there to do when you're sixteen?"

Connie: (to Cindy)"...you didn't lead anybody on. You're lucky you can lead yourself."

Cindy: "I'm lucky if I can lead myself, you know."

Graham: "Well, my work here is done."

Wendy:
If you would just tell me what you want to hear, I would be more than happy to say it!

Wendy: "Just what are you trying to show us, Hooter?"

Elizabeth Lubbock:
Honey, where are your sisters?

Sherry Lubbock:
They're at the library studying.

Coach Graham T. Lubbock:
The library?

Sherry Lubbock:
I just report the lies. I don't make them up.

Connie: (to Wendy) "It was nothing cheap, like you would do."

Sherry: "I''ve got a secret!"
Wendy: "Grow up."
Sherry: "Grow boobs."

Elizabeth: "Marie! Don't pray in front of the TV! That's Satan's altar!"

Connie: "I don't want to be famous, I want to be a writer."

Marie: "Cindy's body is an occasion to sin."

Cindy: "Oh, no! Ovaltine and Ho Hos."
Connie: "She'll be pregnant before sun up."

Wendy: "I just don't like the idea of giving it away for free."
Connie: "Why should tonight be any different?"

Marie: "...died a virgin."
Cindy: "You're going as yourself?!"

Graham: "Who's Marie supposed to be?"
Marie: "Joan of Arc!"
J.R.: "From Knot's Landing?"

Elizabeth: "Connie, you look so... busty!"

Sister Ethel: "Enough of this stinkin' mood music! Let's get funky!"

Elizabeth:
I don't even know my own daughter!

Wendy:
Well, excuse me! Is it a crime to have phony I.D.'s?

Connie: "...and watch Daddy nail your butt to the barnyard wall."

Coach Graham T. Lubbock:
Are you happy with these grades?

Wendy:
Are you happy with them?

(First line of the series.)
Connie: (thinking while writing)"It's official, my life is over. I know I've used this phrase before in this journal, but this time I really mean it. My life is over."

Graham: "Now this is America."

Connie: "April 26th. It's official. Today is the first day of the rest of my life."

Connie: "My life is definitely over."

Marie: "This looks like something out of Nightmare on Elm Street!"

Marie: (o.s.)"Wow! This kitchen is like a torture chamber."

Cindy: "The oldest gets to pick first."

Connie: "No, but she knows what she likes."

J.R.: "Yo, Dad."

Cindy: "I agree with Wendy. I don't think there's anything wrong with posing in the nude, as long it's done for the sake of art."
Wendy: (smiles)"I'd do it."

Elizabeth: "Ohh, this is gonna be such a happy home, Graham."

Marie:
Oh, I don't believe my ears!

Cindy:
Oh, maybe you should wear your hair down-- nobody'll see 'em.

Graham: "Ah, Elizabeth, thanks for bein' as tough on me as your daughters were."
Elizabeth: "Oh, honey, my pleasure."

Graham: "Nope, they're beautiful... Just like little angels."

(Last lines of the series.)
Graham: "I'm not a softie! Tell them, Elizabeth!"
Elizabeth: "That's right. Your father's one of the most cold and heartless men I've ever met, and don't let me ever hear you say different."

Graham: "Aw, honey, I don't know what to say."
Elizabeth: "They're just like you had in New York."
Cindy: "Dad, now you're bicoastal."
(Graham turns to Elizabeth.)
Elizabeth: "It's a good thing."

Wendy: "Mom, leather was on sale."
Elizabeth: "Wendy."
Wendy: "Fifty percent off."
Elizabeth: "Really??"

Graham: "What's the exchange rate of love to dollars?"
Wendy: "Well, in my experience -- "
(Elizabeth and Graham glare at Wendy.)
Wendy: "Never mind."

Marie: "I had an epiphany."
Graham: "Save it, Marie. Your mother already told me your period has nothing to do with this."

Marie: (to Elizabeth)"From your lips to God's ears."
Connie: "Lips and ears. Thta's what's in there."

Elizabeth Lubbock:
Marie! Don't pray in front of the TV! That's Satan's altar!