Blanche: I’m going to take a vow of chastity, I really mean it!

Sophia: For how long, two minutes?

We're feet! We're feet! (instead of "we're heads" LOL)

Dorothy: That’s it! I’ll never say another sarcastic thing again!

Rose: Oh Dorothy! Do you really mean it?

Dorothy: No Rose I don’t mean it. I’m a pathological liar and wanted to see if I could fool someone as quick-witted as you.

Sophia: Picture it. Blanche sleeps with a woman. Ha! Just kidding. Nobody could ever picture that.

Stanley to Dorothy: what do you think of my new toupee babe?

Dorothy: Did a squirrel just get electrocuted and land on your head?

Stan: Will you marry me, Dorothy?

Dorothy: Yes!


I always wanted them to get remarried at the end. We had to settle for Leslie Nelson. Not a bad 2nd choice, I guess.

Rose: Go take your sarcasm and shove it Dorothy!

Rose: I am way too stupid to still be alive.

Blanche: I think celibacy is a great way of life.

dorothy god wil get you for that

dorothy god wil get you for that

Good one!!!

Sophia to Blanche: If I see one more guy come out of your room in themorning, I’m gonna spike your corn flakes with saltpeter!

Good one!!!

Sophia to Blanche: If I see one more guy come out of your room in the morning, I’m gonna spike your corn flakes with saltpeter!

Rose hey Dorothy did u ever watched Maude lol

In the same vein....

“Hey Rose. Did you ever watch Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show?

"Not tonight [insert random male name here], I have a headache - Blanche

Sophia: I’m giving up bitc*y acerbic insulting remarks for Lent!

Blanche: I'm giving up men for five days. Okay, five minutes.

Sophia: I’m giving up bitc*y acerbic insulting remarks for Lent!

Huh? Can somebody please translate this to me in English?

Blanche: "I'm going out to get the mail."

Sophia: "Obviously. EVERY TIME you go out, you try to get some male!"

Huh? Can somebody please translate this to me in English?

It’s a dirty word which is why it’s asterisked. Hint: it rhymes with itchy.

Dorothy to Rose: I just LOVE the sweet naive way you interpret things.

Rose: Miles is kind of dumb, I think I'm going to dump him. I need a smarter man.

Dorothy: I will NEVER make a sarcastic remark again.

Sophia: I have no stories. I can't picture anything because my memory is shot.

Rose = I’m going to take the MENSA entrance exam. Blanche, it sounds like it’s about men, will you help tutor me?

Blanche: Sex? I haven't had sex since 1969. I forgot how to do it.

Dorothy: I think sarcasm is for the birds. No more from me!

sophia dorothy did i ever thank you for sending me to shady pines what a lovley place lol

Sophia- "How about Kraft Macaroni & Cheese for dinner tonight?"

Rose to the girls: Herring goulash....come and get it!

Rose: I'm going to get out the food that we all love to eat around the table when we are celebrating something or discussing something together: RAW ONION PIE

dorothy i wonder how walter findley is doing lol

Stan: I’ve decided to Go into the rug business!

Stan: I have the hots for Rose!

Sophia: I will NEVER EVER say “Picture this...” again!

Dorothy: Rose buys me the best gifts ever; they are never dumb things from St. Olaf.

Blanche: Rats! We’re all out of whipped cream- and I gotta fella coming over tonight!

Sophia: Oh, crap. All we have is this old chocolate cheesecake in the fridge. I wanted us to have our favorite, pickle-flavored potato chip ice cream tonight. (sigh)

Sophia to Stan: You were a fantastic son in-law!

Stan: I finally became a millionaire.

Dorothy: I will never again say anything sarcastic to Rose!

Rose: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.

Rose To Dorothy: Oh go sit on a burnt herring pie, you sarcastic frumpy b*tch!

Blanche: Rats! We’re all out of whipped cream- and I gotta fella coming over tonight!

:happyface:):happyface

Dorothy god will get you for that rose

Rose to Sophia: oh go take a chill pill and a laxative you crusty old crone!

Dorothy to Rose: Rose, you are so smart. Why don't you try out for Jeopardy?!

Stan to Sophia: I’m sick of shacking up with young chicks. I wanna start meeting women your age!

Dorothy: Why do we always eat cheesecakes? Why can't we eat kale when we are upset?

Rose: herring recipes suck! Anyone want some Beef Wellington I just whipped up?

(following Rose's comment that "Gunthur and Alma Nyland were my adoptive parents.)

"Rose....your maiden name was Lindstrom....not Nyland!"

(Sorry....that slip up still irks me.)

Rose: Dorothy, you are so short. How come you like to date tall men?

Rose: OMG! MENSA just invited me to join their membership!

Sophia: Stan makes me hot!

Rose: I've been kidding you guys for years. I'm really from San Francisco. :p

Blanche: Fooled ya! I’m really a nun in an acting role!

Dorothy: "Let's do an eighth season!" :clap:

In the same vein....

“Hey Rose. Did you ever watch Sue Ann Nivens on The Mary Tyler Moore Show?

Or: "Hey, Rose, did you ever watch "Ellen Harper Jackson" in "Mama's Family"?

Dorothy: I’m a big liberal just like Maude!

Stan: Guess what? I just got my medical license by going to night school!

Sophia: I'm pregnant! With twins! :lol:

Sophia: Blanche, you’re as pure as the driven snow and should be volunteering at the convent down the street.

Dorothy: "Gosh, I wish I were as intelligent as Rose!"

Dorothy: Go on Rose, I really want to hear your roundabout way of telling a story!

Dorothy: Stan, our marriage stank from the start and we both were miserable together the whole time. So, even though you did it for selfish reasons, I'm relieved you ended it because my life's been much happier ever since. I just wish I'd done it myself once the kids were out of the house.

Sophia to Stanley: Hey putz-a-mazoole: you rug is having a bad hair day!

Fidel: I’m going to become a monk!