[a spell turns Salem blonde]

Salem: I'm blonde! My IQ just dropped 20 points!

Zelda: [pointing to each of the Spellman women] Blonde, blonde, blonde.

[points at Salem]

Zelda: Dead.

Sabrina: "But I've never cheated on a test in my life."

Hilda: "Nothing says 'revenge' like 'just desserts.'"

Salem: "Hey, so what if I'm a cat?"

Mr. Rothwell: "...I love that book; it was full of hate."

Salem:

Zelda: Salem, you owe Sabrina an apology. Now!

Salem: I’m thinking of how to word it.

Hilda: Try 'I’m sorry.'

Salem: Somehow, that just doesn’t feel right...

Sabrina: "I knew it was coming, yet I'm still delighted."

Libby: "So, if you think you're better than everyone, sign up for tryouts."

Salem: I need a little fresh air and a latte.

Harvey: (to Sabrina)"Where would I be without your cool, rational thinking?"
Sabrina: "Home by ten."

Zelda: (to Hilda)"Thank goodness we have your shop to escape to."

Zelda: "Good idea. I could've done without the sarcasm, but good idea."

Hilda: "...been hanging around with Arnold Ziffel."

Hilda: "Identity shrouded in failure."

Sabrina: "Actually, currently, I'm an unemployedist."

Salem: "See? The new prospect paralyzes you with fear."

Sabrina: "What is it about this holiday that makes people act so immature?"

Hilda: "This is the stuff of nightmares."

Salem: "Quothe the Raven, 'Bite me'."

Salem: "...Halloween will find you. And it won't be happy."

Sabrina: "What fresh hell is this?"

Harvey: "Her family takes Halloween very seriously."

Edgar Allan Poe: "Horror? I haven't done that tripe in years."

Harvey: Salem invited me. He said there would be food and fireworks.

Salem: "She's back."

Amanda: "Sabrina, I don't blame you for being suspicious."
Hilda: "Yeah, you were a little bratty and Nazi Germany was a little aggressive."

Zelda: "I wish bottles came with a vortex warning."

Hilda: "Amanda has a crush on an older man?"

Zelda: "I just love natural light."

Zelda: "Who says you can't find happiness in the bottom of a bottle?"

Amanda: "I'll tear this realm apart until I find him."

Roxie: Did you put in fresh batteries?

Sabrina: Yeah, I'm packing two Ds. And believe me, that's the first time I've ever said that.

Hilda: "Let me mull that over."

Sabrina: "My cat ruins everything."

Harvey: "I ordered the Christmas pizza."
Sabrina: "With red and green peppers."
Harvey: "Yep."

Salem: "What's the big deal? There was a mouse. I chased it. End of story."

Salem: (to Sabrina)"Get lost, biped."

Salem: "I need a plan. What would MacGyver do?"

Zelda: "Even before he was a cat, Salem always landed on his feet."

Salem: "You know what I realized? There are worst places to be during the holidays than with your family."

Salem: "Oh, I see. First you kill the tree and then you humiliate it."

Salem: I'm a cat, I'm curious, so kill me.

Sabrina: What's the matter? I have to be a witch, I have to be a mortal, I have to be a teenager and I have to be a girl all at the same time. That's what's the matter.

Salem: "Giving credence to the old adage, 'Stick with the user you know'."

Sabrina: It can take years to develop a craft. Look at my aunts Hilda and Zelda.

Josh: Which craft were they involved in? Which craft were they involved in?

Sabrina: Witchcraft? Who said anything about witchcraft?

Harvey: "I've never seen anything like that... except on The Flintstones."

Harvey: Why do you need college? Let’s stick to our plan, after graduation we load up my bus and travel the country following the music.

Sabrina: (to Valerie)"Friends don't let friends become cheerleaders."

Harvey: "I don't see what the harm is. If it makes her happy."
Sabrina: "Everybody wants Valerie to be happy. Am I the only one who cares about her?"

Sabrina: "I already know what she's thinking and it all rhymes."

Sabrina: (thinking) "What is this, a United Way commercial? Give me a break."

Sabrina: "I wonder if they give a Nobel Prize for friendship."

Zelda: Welcome home, sunshine! How was your day?
Sabrina: Here's a quick recap: There was boredom followed by dullness with a dash of echh!