[Larry is hanging from a hook on the wall]
Balki Bartokomous: Cousin, do it for me, please?
Larry Appleton: No, no...
Balki Bartokomous: Oh, please. Please, Mr. Scarecrow, which way is it to the Emerald City?
Larry Appleton: Some people go that way, and some people go that way...
Balki Bartokomous: But, of course, people do go both ways.

Larry Appleton: I didn't lie. At most, I massaged the truth a little.

Balki Bartokomous: Massaged? You gave it a full body scrub and a mud bath!

Balki: "It ain't over 'til the fat lady eats."

Mary Anne Spencer Bartokomous: You know, having a ghost would explain so many things! Like how when you open the refrigerator, the light goes on!
Jennifer Lyons Appleton: No Maryanne, the light goes on because...
[pauses for a moment, then decides to give up]
Jennifer Lyons Appleton: Yes, Maryanne. Having a ghost would explain that.

Balki-"The itsy bitsy scorpion crawled up inside my shirt. I bashed his little head in and threw him in the dirt. When his legs stopped wiggling I dropped him in my stew cause I like crunchy insects with pinchers on, don't you? The itsy bitsy sting rag swam up inside my shorts....." :D :D :D

God bless you always!!!

Holly

P.S. This is what Balki sings to the babies during the final episode of the show.

Balki Bartokomous: You may call it intuition, you may call it common sense, you may call the wind Mariah...