View Full Version : The John Larroquette Show Quotes and Lines


MA
08-20-2018, 07:45 AM
[a gang member is offering John a service]
Iceman: For a certain price the Iceman can provide you with... protection
John: Really? How much to have you provide... ice?
Iceman: Now listen, man
John: No! You listen! I have a party in two hours and I need a thousand cubes and a couple of blocks. Can you help me or not?

MA
08-20-2018, 07:53 AM
Tony Hemingway: [points to a sign on John's wall that reads: "This is a Dark Ride"] I heard about this.
John: Yeah. From the carnival. A pretty fair description of life too, I think.

AB
08-23-2018, 07:00 PM
Eve Eggers: "Nobody gets me."

MA
08-24-2018, 08:00 AM
John: [as he is about to have a drink with his new neighbor Carly] Cheers.

Carly Watkins: Seinfeld.

AB
08-24-2018, 06:35 PM
Mahalia: "Oh by the way there's a bus missing."
John: (with an incredulous expression) "A bus is missing?"

MA
08-25-2018, 06:32 AM
Unknown singer: [played while Dexter drive John] Kill whitey! kill whitey!

John: What's the name of the song?

Dexter Walker: "Justice".

Dexter Walker: [Cop pulls car over. Dexter quickly turns music off, then turns to face cop at the driver's window] Evenin', officer.

Unknown singer: [John reaches over and turns music back on] Kill whitey! kill whitey!

AB
08-25-2018, 03:14 PM
John: "What do we need a gun for?"
Mahalia: (laughing) "That's a good one John!"

MA
08-25-2018, 03:16 PM
Officer Eve Eggers: Nobody gets me.