Mrs. Rayburn: Do you know why you couldn’t find your diploma?

Beaver: Because I wrote a book report from a Ritz Bros. movie?

Beaver: Because I let someone else write my autobiography?

Beaver: Because I stopped typing my assignments?

Beaver: Because I tried to dye my shoelaces before school?

Beaver: Because I wore a monster sweatshirt to school?

Beaver: Because I didn’t dress up for the banquet?

Mrs. Rayburn: No because you let that bum take a bath in June’s tub!!

Beaver: Because i stuck out my tongue in the fifth grade class photo?

Beaver: Because I called Arthur a bad name in the hall?

Beaver: Because I played hooky in the third grade?

Beaver: I got locked in the principals office because Larry told me they had a spanking machine

Because I skipped football practice after catching that pass?

Because I almost got sued by that modeling company?

Because I painted the poster of a guy wrestling a pig?