Kraus: "I'm leaving!"
Benson: "Well you're only human; we all have our fears."

Benson (to Clayton): Don't do anything stupid. Wait, let me rephrase that. Don't do anything, Stupid.

Clayton: You heard it from the horse's mouth.
Benson: And now we're hearing it from the other end.

From the episode: The Buck Stops Here 03/01/86

Benson to Clayton.."Don't do anything stupid" "Wait, let me rephrase that, Don't do anything.....Stupid!"

Clayton: "Ah, Peter, you brought a change of clothes. Having spaghetti for lunch?"

(From "Stress," when Pete offers to explain "girl talk" Denise didn't understand in college.)

Clayton: "Oh, this should be fascinating! Minnie goes to Goofy for advice."

(Just love early-seasons snarky Clayton.)

(From "First Lady," season 2)


Clayton, to Benson: "Notice anything peculiar?"
Marcy: "You sure you want him to answer that?"
***
Clayton, to Benson: "I'm hot. And it's your fault."
Marcy: "You two want to be alone?"

(Love Marcy, too. :D )

Kraus renting a video from Video Land...

Kraus: "Hello, I would like to rent an Officer and a Gentleman."

Benson: "But she will settle for a sailor and a six pack!"

Benson: (to Clayton)"Back to normal? You've never even been close to normal."

Benson: "...it's people suffering!"
Clayton: "That's what politics is."

Benson: "What in the world is wrong with people?!"

Jessica's ghost: "You see, I have to do a good deed on Earth, so I can qualify for my wings."

JG: "...their energy can send a message through time and space."

JG: "This is 'goodbye,' Benson?"
Benson: "Already?"

JG: "I am positively not dead. I am in a coma somewhere in South America..."

Pete Downey: I'll never be a hero. I had a chance once. Janine's cat was drowning in the pool and I jumped in to save it. But when I realized I had to give it mouth-to-mouth, I threw it back in.

Captain McDermott: "You sure know how to pick 'em, Benson."
Benson: "You sure know to offend 'em."

Clayton Runnymede Endicott III: I make money the old-fashioned way. I inherit it.

Eugene Gatling: "A photographer for the mob? Why would they need a photographer?"
Benson: "Public relations."

(Last line of the series.)
Television Reporter: "And the winner is..."

Gretchen : I'm going out and have myself a wild time.
Benson DuBois : Don't forget your library card.

Danny: "This is weird, man! It's like the Twilight Zone."

Kim: "Where I got my money, that's where I spend my money."

Clayton: "I see no humor in denigrating authority,..."

Benson: "Scotty, no man in this room was responsible for that war!"

Jay: "It was a bad time."
Kim: "For all of us."
Scotty: "Yeah."

Chapman : Mister DeBasie?
Benson DuBois : Dubois, Senator. I think you had me confused with COUNT DeBasie.

Pete: I didn't splash that old lady on purpose.
Denise: You yelled "10 points!"
Pete: So?
Denise: Well, what was that supposed to mean?
Pete: It was just a joke.
Denise: You know, sometimes I wonder what I see in you.
Pete: Wait a minute, you're gonna break up with me because some old lady has soggy support hose?

From The Lumber Mill
There's nothing to do so Clayton grabs a jump rope & starts jumping rope....Benson joins him in the jump rope
Benson: "C" Your name is Clayton & I think you've gone crazy!

Benson DuBois: [after Denise tells him she's pregnant] You're gonna make a terrific mother. And Pete will make a fine playmate for the child.