Through the Tough Times
By Katie B

Sitting in her doctor’s office, she was impatiently awaiting the news that was so important it had to be told in person and as soon as possible.

“Good to see you again.” Dr. Sinclair said to her. He looked as he always does, dress pants, a nice shirt, tie, and his white coat.

“Same to you, now what was so important that you needed to see me about?”

“Well Ms. Exstead, I unfortunately found that you have leukemia, this is a very aggressive form of leukemia. I am pretty much saying that your cancer will progress very quickly and we should start chemo soon. I have a room reserved for you at Holy Cross Hospital. Get together some of your personal belongings you’ll need.”

Jinny Exstead was in total shock, sure…they other day when she came she had assumed it was just the flu or a common cold, they both had the exact same symptoms. But the symptoms had been with her for a few weeks, and she couldn’t seem to kick them. Now it all made sense to her, now she understood the bruises, why she was always tired and never feeling quite up to par. She always assumed the bruises were from the job, being an inspector; she may have gotten some. But now being tired all the time, and never feeling entirely great made sense. It couldn’t be a cold or the flu; she would have been able to get over that within a week, not two or three.

“I don’t believe you, I want a second opinion.” Jinny lashed out at him, as though he had lied to her or betrayed her.

“There will be plenty of second opinions at the hospital, but a bone marrow aspiration will confirm it all.”

“You will still be my doctor, right?” Noticing that his expression quickly changed, she came back, “Are you saying that someone I do not know is going to go prodding and poking me with needles? No, no, no, not happening…good try.”

“Jinny, you’ll have a great oncologist, he won’t hurt you in anyway. Trust me, he and I are good friends.”

“No, no, no, no. I will not go through with this, I don’t buy it; I don’t have cancer. I am a healthy person; I quit drinking. I can’t have cancer.”

“Jinny, notify your friend’s and family, tell them what’s happening. They won’t let you go through this alone. And I do know that when you talk like you don’t have it, and you don’t believe me, you’re denying, saying you don’t have it…so it cannot be true. But it is, and now it will be your chance to face reality.”

“I’ve faced reality already…I’m a cop, remember? Someone stalked me once…I faced my reality already, I could have died then, I didn’t…I’m not facing it all again.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
do you guys like this? should I write more?

“Are you saying that someone I do not know is going to go prodding and poking me with needles? No, no, no, not happening…good try.” LOL. That's typical Jinny. ;)


Anyhow, Jinny and leukemia. :eek: I wanna know what'll happen when she tells her family...and Mag. -gasp-

Keep on going! It's great!

ohh..this is good..post more!!!:D

This is absolutely awesome!!! Great start!!! Post more soon!! You're a great writer!!

add more soon this is awesome!!!!!!

Jinny got up and told Dr. Sinclair, “Fine, there’s no denying this to anyone, not myself, not you, not my friends and family, no one. I’m going to go home, get some stuff, tell my dad and friends and go strait to the hospital. Okay?”

“Fine Jinny, I’ll call them in 1 hour to see that you’ve checked in. If you have I’ll come by to see you. Your oncologist will be Dr. Freeze; he’s a very nice man. I’ll be by when he explains procedures to you. Are you comfortable with all of this?”

“No, not really…when you get to one man that I don’t know sticking me like a pin cushion…well, I really don’t feel all that comfortable.” Jinny was going into one of those sarcastic things again, where she won’t say anything besides sarcastic remarks, “I’m not plump and red like those tomatoes that our mothers used to stick pins in, am I?”

“No Jinny, you’re-“

“I really don’t feel like being treated like one!”

“Jinny, sit down and cool off.” He told her, politely. People who were recently diagnosed with cancer often did this. They want their normal doctor to follow them through, administer their treatments. They don’t want to switch over to someone they don’t know or trust. They want things to be normal again.

“I’ll go get my stuff, tell my dad and friends and go strait to the hospital.” Jinny said walking out the door, all of this was too hard to handle.

At the division, Magda noticed that Jinny wasn’t there, along with everyone else…she wasn’t usually late after she quit drinking, she was almost always on time, “Hey, CD! Do you know where Jinny is…she’s not usually late, now that she’s stopped drinking?”

“Nope, no clue.”

When Jinny walked into her dad’s house, she ran up the stairs to her room. She grabbed a bag and started stuffing it full of stuff. She grabbed a photo; it was of her mother, her father, her older brother, and Casey…the youngest of them all. Tears filled Jinny’s eyes, how was she supposed to survive cancer without her mom, she never grew out of calling her mommy…it was never mom, always mommy. As a lump rose in her throat she placed the photo in her bag. If her mom couldn’t be there in body…she could always be there in spirit. She grabbed one other photo; it was of Magda and herself. The picture was fairly recent; it was probably taken a few months before. Jinny knew Magda was still alive, but when she had to work or be with Ben, Magda’s picture could be there with her, for if she ever just needed to cry.

Jinny wiped her eyes and stepped into the hall, “DAD!”

John Sr. came toward his daughter, “Jinny, why aren’t’ you at work? Do you feel all right? Is something wrong?”

“Dad, I went to the doctor this morning, right?”

“Yes…”

“And the doctor found that I have cancer, it’s a progressive form of leukemia. I still need to call Magda and everyone else, but I figured you could call John Jr. and Casey for me. It’ll be hard enough to tell Magda, but I can’t bear to give Case the news. He’s been through so much crap, from John and you, both of you need to learn to give it up, at least he knows who he is. Now just make up and let it be with him, alright?”

“Yes, but are you positive it’s cancer?”

“Yes Dad, I am.” Jinny stopped to wipe away the tears again; “I’ve got to go call Magda so she can alert Cap, CD, Nate, and Raina. After that will you give me a ride to the hospital?”

“Yes.”

Jinny ran down the stairs with her bag in hand. She picked up the phone and dialed Mag’s work number,

“Inspector Ramirez.”

“Magda,” In a weak and shaky voice, Jinny continued before Mag and the chance to ask what’s wrong, “it’s Jinny, and I have some really bad news. I was diagnosed with an aggressive and quick spreading form of leukemia. I’m going to be at Holy Cross Hospital and I need you to inform everyone there. If anyone wants to see me, they can. But I needed to let you know.”

“Jinny, are you all right?” Magda was obviously very worried about her; CD, Nate, Cap, and Raina all huddled around her desk because of the fear in her voice and with Jinny’s name mentioned.

“I’ll be okay, I just was kind of wondering if you would come and just sit with me…” Jinny’s voice trailed off.

“I’ll be there in thirty to forty minutes okay?”

”Okay.”

They both said good bye and everyone just stared at Mag, “Guys…I’m afraid I have some bad news…..”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
good or bad? more?

This rox!! Post more soon!!!

“Magda, what is it?” CD asked, there was horror in Mag’s voice, leading on to something being terribly wrong.

“Jinny was, well, she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia, and it progresses quickly. She’s at Holy Cross Hospital, and I promised to be there in thirty or forty minutes. I was asked to inform you all about that. Does anyone want to come with me? I really don’t want to sit there alone.

“Everyone has the day off…you are just on call. Go with Magda, I’ll be there around lunchtime. If I need any of you I’ll call you. Leave; now…go be with Jinny. She needs us now more than I think she’ll have ever needed us.”

John Sr. got Jinny into the car and to the hospital, she walked up to the front desk, “Hi, my names Jinny Exstead and I need to check in.”

“E…” The vibrant young lady prompted her.

“E-X-S-T-E-A-D”

“Ah, yes, room 245-oncology floor. When you get there, go to the desk in that area. A nurse will help you find your room and get you settled.” The young lady smiled at Jinny and her father.

Jinny gave a half smile back and replied with a quick, “Thanks.” Then she quickly shuffled toward the elevator. When she reached the oncology floor she immediately saw a desk. She walked over there and looked at the lady. “Hi, my name’s Jinny Exstead, E-X-S-T-E-A-D, and I believe I am supposed to be in room 245.

“Yes, you are right. I’ll get a nurse to take you there.” The lady then turned around, “Hey, Jill…this young lady needs to go to room 245. Your name is on her file, so I’m assuming you can take her.”

“Yeah.”

Jill walked to Jinny, “So, your name is…”

“Jinny Exstead.”

”Please follow me Jinny, I’m going to be your nurse during the day shifts, if you need anything feel free to get me. I know that your diagnosis will first be quite shocking, but you’ll eventually come to terms with it.”

Jinny just kind of followed her, not saying anything.

“Here we are, 245. You will have a roommate, her name is Kelsey, but she usually keeps to herself, that’s nothing you’ll have to worry about.”

“Thanks.” Jinny replied.

“You can change into your own pajamas or I can get you a hospital gown, your choice.”

”I’ll wear my own pajamas.”

“Fine by me, if you need anything you can either press this button or just see if I’m in the hall. I’ll check in on you later.” Jill flashed a quick smile; she had perfect teeth, was tall with black hair and was very skinny.

Jinny changed and her father helped her set up some photographs and get her settled into her own bed. He left the room to call Magda and tell her Jinny’s room number. While Jinny was alone, she took the chance to analyze her life, was it all worth it to go through this hospital stay and go through chemotherapy to attempt to conquer cancer, when it may not work at all and it would have been a total waste of her last days on this earth. She knew there had to be a reason that she had cancer, sure she believed in God, and she knew that he always had reasons. But she never regularly attended church. Often nights she would find herself praying for some reason or another, but she never attended church, she found no reason in it.

Jinny Exstead thought she had her life in order, she had stopped drinking, fixed her priorities, spent a lot of time with her family, especially Casey, of whom John Sr. was calling at the moment, she spent more time doing her best on the job, and even went to Magda and said she was sorry for not always being there for her.

Jinny’s thoughts were interrupted when Magda, CD, Nate, and Raina all came through the door. Magda looked as if she were about to die, she had the worst look of horror struck across her face. Not to mention CD, Nat and Raina…CD was pale, she just looked at Jinny, as if wanting to say something, but not sure what. Nate just had a look of sympathy and Raina, well it was sympathy and horror mixed together. No one knew what was happening and why, but they all wanted to help Jinny, to the end.

“Jinny, why’d this happen to you?” Magda asked her in tears, she was scared for her best friend; she didn’t want to loose her. She couldn’t ever remember herself being so fearful.

“Magda, I don’t know, but don’t dwell on it. All I want to do right now is focus on getting better. Not on why’d it happen to me.” At that point Jinny broke into the tears that should have come out a long time ago. Magda just ran to her and hugged her, whispering the sweetest things to her, as you’d to a child who was scared of the thunderstorm outside, or worried that their dog might die. Only this was different, this time it wasn’t Ben, it was Jinny. Her best friend and partner, someone who was like a sister to her. This time she was telling an adult not to be frightened, that everything would be okay. This time, it was Jinny crying on her shoulder. This was the girl who almost hated her for organizing an intervention because she was worried. This was that girl, who always wore a leather jacket, but had a heart the size of Texas to go off of. This was that girl…Magda went on and on thinking about how this wasn’t a child she was comforting, this was that girl…this was Jinny.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
like? more?

OMG, this is awesome!!!!! I NEED MORE!!!!!!

this is realy good..you should post more!!!:D

This is REALLY good. You haveta post more soon. This is so well-written.

OMG! This is awesome, Katie. Post more!!!!!!!!!

CD, Nate, and Raina all stood back, knowing that the only one who could help Jinny at that point was Magda, and probably Casey. But they all felt bad for Jinny. Cancer was something that they wouldn’t wish on anyone, not even their worst enemy. Now that Jinny had it, they would have to be with her whenever possible, not knowing exactly what she would experience.

Magda was cradling Jinny when Casey and John Jr. walked in the door. Casey ran to Jinny and hugged her while she cried. Jinny didn’t notice Casey and John Jr. being there until she had calmed down enough to know her oncologist and Dr. Sinclair would be there soon.

“Hey Casey, John…”

”Jinny…” Casey started, but wasn’t sure exactly what to say.

“Listen, I’ll be all right, I just need my family and friends here now. I’m,” Jinny stopped, not sure if she should reveal the feeling that was bottled up inside her, she’d never felt this way before, except once or twice. She didn’t ever tell anyone this feeling when she felt it.

“Your what Jin?” CD asked her, she figured Jinny would say scared or frightened, it would probably be the most common feeling among cancer patients.

“I’m scared and confused.” Jinny relayed as calmly as possible, telling someone she was scared was something she hadn’t really done since she was a child. But it wasn’t this kind of scared; it was different in some way, some way she didn’t know how.

“Jinny, that’s expected, you’ve just been diagnosed with a life threatening disease. Don’t go around keeping your feelings bottled up inside like you usually do.” Magda spoke to her while rubbing her back like she did for Benjamin when he was sick.

The oncologist and Jinny’s regular doctor walked through the door, “Are all of these people family?” The oncologist asked her.

“That or the equivalent.”

“Fine, do you want them all here right now? This will be the time I explain treatments and side effects. This can be a hard time for anyone being told.”

“Yes I do, they all know how to comfort me and help the through this. I need them now more than ever.”

“Fine. Well, Ms. Exstead, or may I call you Jinny?”

“Jinny is fine.”

“Well, Jinny, I’m Dr. Freeze, and as you already know from your Dr. Sinclair, you have a very aggressive form of leukemia which will progress quickly. We’ll start you on chemotherapy, this is a poisonous drug, and you need to know that. We won’t administer enough to kill you, but to kill the cancer cells. With this comes many side effects, vomiting will occur, you can loose your hair, possibly even won’t be able to have children. You-“

Dr. Freeze was interrupted by Jinny with a, “I won’t be able to have kids? Are you telling me the truth? I may not be married right now, but I know that if I ever am I want children. I think I may have to rethink this whole treatment thing.”

“Jinny, your life should be more important than having children. You could adopt a child or something. Please, just save your own life. Jinny, I wouldn’t make it in this world without you.” Magda was pleading with Jinny to go through treatment.

“Fine, I’ll go through treatment, I want to live, as of now I’m too young to die.”

“Good, now Jinny,” Dr. Freeze continued on his talk that he’d probably given one-hundred times, “You will probably be very tired much of the time, and even think about giving up treatment, but trust me, you’ll be glad once you achieve remission that you went through with it all.”

“Jinny, I’ll come by to see you whenever I can, and if you need to talk to someone I’m here.” Dr. Sinclair told her, “I visit all of my regular patients if they are diagnosed with something like cancer, I know that it will probably be very hard for you, but you’ll make it through fine.”

“Yeah Jinny, you’ve always been a fighter, and we’ll all be here for you whenever you need us. You’re my big sis Jin, and I love you more than anything.” Casey was taking everything in quite well, but everyone in that room, except the doctors, had looks of horror on their faces, and the sound of fear in their voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
more? do y'all like it?

Okay,I'm like literally in tears right now.

YOU HAVE GOT 2 MPOST MORE!!!!!!!

“Now Jinny, we’re going to start the chemo with pills, your medicine will change from week to week until we find a mixture that works for you. As the chemo gets stronger, we may start to use chemo that’s administered through an IV. We will try to wait that out as long as possible. You met Jill, right?” Dr. Freeze was talking to her.

“Yeah, I did.” Jinny replied, she found it hard to talk; her voice was shaky and kind of raspy. Was it all from the fear and shock? She assured herself that was it and let it go.

“Well, she’ll bring in your first dose of meds in a little while. You’ll take the medicine with each meal you have, so three times a day. If you do loose your appetite and stop eating, we will make sure you get your nutrients through and IV, you need to keep up the strength as best you can so that we can get you better, fast.”

“Fine by me. When will I start experiencing the side effects?”

“It depends with every patient, so I can’t tell you for sure.” Dr. Freeze stopped, “You are aware that fighting cancer is as much a medical thing as it is a physical, right?”

“Kind of…”

“In a few days, a therapist will come in to talk to you about fighting your disease mentally. She’ll help you create a picture to focus on thirty minutes a day. I don’t know much about what she does or how she works.”

“Okay…a little strange, but to beat this I’ll try anything!”

“Do you feel comfortable with what’s going to happen to you? Because if you have any questions, I’ll answer them the best I can.”

”What will we do if chemo doesn’t work?”

“I don’t know, we could try different methods to fighting cancer, but we’ll talk about those if the chemotherapy doesn’t work. Okay?”

“Fine.”

“Just remember Jinny, the most important thing is you keep a positive outlook, don’t always look on the negative side with this. It may end up turning out fine. Okay?” Dr. Sinclair knew that Jinny could be quite negative. So he was going to make her be positive over this whole thing.

“Positive outlook…okay, I can do that.”

“Good,” Dr. Freeze and Dr. Sinclair said in unison, “Bye Jinny.” They both said, again in unison. Both of them walked out the door.

Horror came upon Jinny’s face, worse than it had been before, never had she been so scared in her life. But it wasn’t the same fear she’d ever experienced before, “I probably can’t have kids, I may loose my hair, this is impossible. I never dreamt of cancer, I quit drinking, I got my priorities back in order; this shouldn’t happen to me! I don’t understand it!” Jinny started to cry again; Magda went and sat on her bed.

“Jinny, Jinny…listen to me please. Calm down and let me talk to you.” Jinny brought he sobs down so that Magda could speak to her, “This is all going to work out, okay? Everything will be all right. We’ll all be here for you, your dad, Casey, John, CD, Nate, Raina, myself, it’ll all be fine.”

“I want my mommy.” Was all Jinny said, she couldn’t stop referring to her mother as ‘Mommy’. Sometimes it was ‘Mom’, but not usually. Nate grabbed CD’s arm and dragged her out of the room.

“CD, where’s Jinny’s mom, and why does she still refer to her as ‘Mommy’?”

“Nate, her mom died when Jinny was only fourteen; she commit suicide. Jinny started drinking because she thought it was her fault. I don’t think she ever grew out of calling her Mommy.”

”Oh my gosh, this has got to be extra hard on her now.”

“Yeah probably.”

Meanwhile, Magda was still talking to Jinny. Casey had run out of the room because of all of this and he was upset, “Jinny, you know your mom cannot come right now, she’s dead Jinny, but we’ll all be here for you. Please, honey, don’t cry.”

”Yeah Jinny Girl, this’ll all work out, we promise to always be here if you need us.” Her father relayed.
~~~~~~~~~
like?

omg this is awesome!! i love it!! add more! and let me just add that u know you are fighting cancer and that is very honorble to be writting about something that hits so close to home and also you have exstensive knowledge in this area~keep up the good work, you are a very talented writer...kudos to you!

I took your advice and read it and it's awesome!!! Now post more! You are a very talented writer!

~~Thanks guys…glad you all like it! Yeah, it is hard writing about something that hits close to home, but I’m glad I am…gives me a chance to express what I’ve always felt through Jin! ~~

Jinny, still sobbing in Mag’s arms, was attempting to calm down. She kept telling Magda that she wanted her mommy, and Magda just kept reassuring her that even though her Mom isn’t there that everything will work out. This went on for about an hour, and Nate CD, Raina, John Jr., and John Sr. went to the oncology waiting room and let Magda talk to Jinny alone. CD went out and sat next to Nate and just started to cry. Nate got out of his chair and knelt down in front of her and took her hand, “CD, it’s going to be okay. Jinny can make it through this; she’s a fighter. Casey said it to her in the room, and it’s true. We all just need to stick together now. Just cry when you need to. I promise, I’ll always be here for you to lean on, I promise if you need me I’ll be here.”

Kate walked into the waiting room just as Nate was getting back in the room, they couldn’t believe it was 11:00 am already, they came at 8:00 am and talked with Jinny, then they had listened to the oncologist tell about what Jinny would be going through, now they were waiting for Jinny to calm down.

“Okay, what’s wrong…lots of people are out here, everyone but Mag…how’s Jin?”

“Sobbing because she wants her mom. She misses her and wants to have her at her side right now. Magda is attempting to calm her down. She just won’t stop crying.” Nate told her.

CD was still crying, Casey had regained his composure, but CD felt kind of foolish, she was the only one crying because she was worried. Nate told her it was okay, and she was sure that everyone would have his or her moments of tears, but she never assumed that hers would come soon.

Magda walked out of Jin’s room, “I give up, she’s impossible…she just keeps saying ‘I want my mommy.’ I don’t know what to do, Casey or John Sr., one of you should probably talk to her.” She walked over to a chair next to Nate and sat down, she stared off into space for a while. Casey had stood up and gone into Jinny’s room.

“Jinny, why do you want Mom so bad?”

”Because she can make it all better, she always did. Remember when you fell trying to learn how to ride a bike and you scraped up your knee really bad?”

“Yeah Jin, but-“

“She made it all better, she washed it off then she put the band aid on there. It was better; she could do that for me now. I don’t want to have cancer, I want to be normal again.”

“Jinny, this isn’t something Mom could make better, this is something that she could just sit here with you through.”

“She could sing me one of her songs, remember how whenever I, or you or John, got sick, she’d bring me soup then sing to me. I would always feel better after that! I want her to bring me soup and sing to me, or tell me a story! That’s all I want Casey, why won’t she come and do that for me?!”

“Jinny, Mom’s been dead for a long, long time. Since you were fourteen. She hasn’t brought you soup and sung to you, or made a scraped knee go away for a very long time. Jinny, Mom won’t come back, she won’t come see you.” Casey was holding Jinny’s hand, she was remembering what their mother was like, she was wanting her there so badly she almost forgot, or did forget her mom was no longer with them. Tears were rolling down her cheeks, and once again she was crying with uncontrollable tears, “Jinny, it’ll be all right, I promise you, it’ll be all right. Whether Mom comes and sings to you and brings you soup or not. Jinny, please, don’t cry.” While Jinny was still crying, Casey resorted to the last thing he could,

“Hush little baby don’t say a word,
Mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird.” And so he sang to Jinny the song their mother would so often sing to them when they would get sick.
**********
do you guys still like it... I know its not very interesting...but it'll get better, as soon as she gets chemo

h*ll yes!!! I want more!!!

Casey's soooo sweeeeeeet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

POST MORE!!

After hearing that Jinny calmed down some, she still wanted her mother there, but Casey had made her see that her mom wouldn’t be able to come back. She remembered the scent of her clothes, her voice that was a sweet as honey, and the way she always told Jinny that she could do anything she wanted without saying those words, by expressing it to her…pressing her to go farther.

She stopped crying in time for Jill to bring in her first dose of chemo, “Before you take it, what do you want for lunch? I can get you pretty much anything. Cancer patients can have pizza and slushies at midnight if they want them…”

“Pizza and a soda…Coke. Thanks.”

Casey was still the only one in the room, and she wanted everyone there for her first dose, she didn’t want to take it alone, “Case, go tell everyone I want them here…I can’t take this alone. I know it won’t be that bad the first time…but still, I’m scared”

When Casey walked into the waiting room, everyone had solemn faces except for CD and Magda…who were both crying, “Hey, Jinny’s getting her first dose of chemo in a few minutes and she wants us all there. She said that she’s scared.”

Slowly, one by one everybody stood up…First John Jr., John Sr., then Kate got up. Magda, CD and Nate all stood at the same time. CD and Mag, not wanting Jinny to see them so upset, regained their composure and with Nate steadying her, CD, Nate, and Magda walked into Jinny’s room. Jill brought in Jin’s pizza and a soda, “Now Jinny, what I need you to do, is take the medicine now, and then you can eat. If you start experiencing any side effects please get me. Okay?”

”Yes.” Jinny picked up the pills and swallowed them. She then sat in her bed for five minutes, not saying anything. There was a silence in the room except for Jinny’s roommate, Kelsey. She was watching TV. But everyone was able to tune it out for the moment. Jinny had just started treatment; Jinny had just started the first day of the rest of her life.

She then followed with eating her lunch. Magda sat down, but CD still needed Nate to help her keep her balance. Jinny had been a very good friend to her, and they’d had a lot of good times. She never thought that this would happen, and even if it did, she never experienced she would get this shaky.

Everyone stayed with Jinny for the remainder of the day, off and on they would all go into her room, and talk to her. Everyone shed tears by the end of that day. No one would ever forget this day. Casey would cry off and on that whole time, along with CD and Magda. Nate, John Jr., and John. Sr., would try to hold it in for long periods of time.
~~~~~~~~~~
more?

Aw, this is so good! Sad...but good! Man, I think I needta get some comedy in my life though. First, I watch Moulin Rouge! (depressing as nething) then I come up and read this...so sad. NEwayzie, Im gonna go watch some comedy movie or somethin. By the time it's done, I want more!!!!

After a while, everyone went to his or her own homes except for Jin’s dad, John Jr. and Casey. Those three felt like they were obligated to stay with Jin until visiting hours were over.

At Magda’s house, Ben knew that his mom was late, “Mommy, where have you been? I thought we were going out for supper tonight.”

Magda looked at her son, there was disappointment in his face, “Oh Benjamin, I’m really sorry honey. But something happened today and I had to be there. I just couldn’t get off work. I’m sorry, can I take you out in a few weeks?”

“Why not tomorrow?”

“Ben, I can’t do it tomorrow, it’ll have to wait a few weeks. I’m really sorry honey…I’m just really busy right now.” Magda took him by his hand and they left her mother’s house. She felt horrible about forgetting about taking him out, and she knew that she should tell him that Jinny was sick. But she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t disappoint him more that she already did. Ben was her only son, and she loved him very much, and hurting him in anyway was the last thing she ever wanted to do.

CD made it back to her empty house, and just sat down. She couldn’t believe that Jinny, an awesome friend to her and several others, was going through the torment of cancer. Terror quipped her and pretty much anyone who knew Jinny. “We never called Teddy.” CD told herself; well it was about 10:00 pm so she figured it was too late to scare him with this. So she figured Magda could call tomorrow.

Nate also arrived to an empty house, he had held back most of his tears at the hospital to be strong for CD. This had ruined all of his plans, he was going to ask her out today, make the first move that he’d wanted to make since the day he saw her. But it didn’t happen, Jinny got sick, and everyone had to be at her side. He understood it perfectly, he remembered back to when he was a child; he experienced something to the same effect.

“He has what?!” He heard his mother ask the doctor in alarm.

”Nate has a brain tumor, we cannot tell if it’s benign or malignant yet, we have to go in and attempt to remove some of it, and get a biopsy. If it’s malignant, well then he’ll have to go through radiation treatments.” The doctor told his mother.

“Mommy, what’s cancer?” Nate asked, for he was only 5 years old at the time.

“Honey, something got inside your body that shouldn’t be there, and it’s cancer. This can hurt you badly; it can even make it so you die. But it probably won’t. Okay?” His mother had loved him so; Jinny didn’t even have that.

They later found that his tumor was benign and it was okay, but it had given his family quite a scare. They were able to remove it all because it was in an area of the brain that wouldn’t affect anything he needed. But it was different for him, he was younger and it was a brain tumor, it was benign, it wasn’t cancer.

Kate just went home and immediately slept, as did Raina, and all of Jinny’s family when they all had arrived home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
more?

*nods* more!

Jinny lie in her hospital bed, alone and scared. She eventually fell asleep, despite her worries.

That night, Jinny had a dream, a dream that she would never forget….

She was lying in the hospital bed, alone and scared, just as she was before she went to sleep, “Maybe I should think through this again, do I really want to do this? Do I want to be scared this whole time; do I want to scare my friends and family? Mom, why can’t you help me right now? Why can’t you make this decision for me?”

”Jinny, I’m right here with you. I know you’re scared honey, but you’ve got to fight this; you’ve got to be the Jinny I knew when you were little. The ‘I’m not scared of anything, kick some major butt’ Jinny.”

Jinny turned her head; she looked in shock at the woman standing by her bed, “Mom?”

“Yes Jinny, it’s me. I’ll always be here, and I won’t ever leave your side. You’re my little angel, my sweetie pie. But you’ve got to fight this one without me making your decisions. I’m proud of you; you stopped drinking on your own. You bead the battle to alcohol, unlike your father. Now, make the choice, will you fight the cancer, or will you let your time come without the drugs. It’s your choice Jinny, I trust you’ll make the right one; make the decision that you know is right, make the one that comes from your heart. Remember, I’ll love you no matter what.”

“Mom, sing me a song.”

”Jinny, I can’t, I have to go now. I love you. Make the right choice, make the one you know is right, Jinny. I love you.” Then, her mother walked out the door and disappeared.

Jinny woke with a fright, she looked around the room, searching for her mom, but she wasn’t there, “It was a dream Jinny, just a dream.” She told herself softly, careful not to wake Kelsey.

The next day, everyone came strait to Jinny, no one, besides Kate, bothered to go to work. No one had gotten much sleep the other night; no one could get his or her mind off of Jinny.

Casey went into Jinny’s room first after asking to go alone, “Jinny, hey.”

“Hey Case, I had the strangest dream last night…”
~~~~~~~~~
??? do you like?

bye:wave:

pleassssssssse addddddddddd more!!!!!!!!! do it for the sick(me)

This rox so much!! Post more soon!!

add MORE!!!!!!!!!
this is sooooooooo sad,I cry every time I read it.

please tell me she don't die!!

Ok....Why did you stop? You cant stop...We NEED more! MORE MORE AHHH MORE.....this is really really goooood!!! so..keep going...i luv it!!!:wave:

“What was it about Jin?” Jinny started to explain her dream, remembering every word, every detail. What she was wearing, how her voice sounded, her hairstyle. Though Jinny’s story was kind of long, Casey listened contently to what she had to say, “Jinny, was she still as beautiful as I remember her?” Casey then asked. He remembered his mom as a very pretty lady, and he didn’t even meant to say that.

“Yes Casey, she was.”

Slowly they went through the rest of the day, and Jinny only remembered that part, and one other:

”Hey Jin, how ya feeling?” Nate asked her.

”Been better, I’m sort of starting to get some side effects from the chemo, I am really tired all the time.”

Nate sat down in the chair next to Jinny’s bed, “I wanted to tell you something,”

”What?”

“Well, when I was five I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I didn’t know what ‘cancer’ was then, so I asked my mom. The next day, the doctors did a surgery, and I was so scared. My parents were worse off than I was, the night before they spent the night at the hospital with me. I remember right before I went to sleep that night my mom told me that she would never leave me. Now I wonder that if she would…well…kill herself if I hadn’t made it. I went into surgery the next day, and my mom was crying when they put me to sleep, my parents both telling me how much they loved me, how I was so precious to them.”

”Nate, I’m sorry…”

”Thanks, but they found that my tumor was benign and they could remove it. They did remove the whole thing that day, and I didn’t have cancer. I never went through what you have to go through. But I do know how shocking it can be to have that happen to you. The diagnosis.”

”Thanks for telling me that Nate, I have been so scared lately…not sure if I want to go on with treatments.” Jinny sounded incredibly tired.

“I’m going to let you get some sleep.” Nate said backing out of the room, “You are a great person Jinny, and everything will be all right. You have a lot of people pulling for you Jinny, a lot of people praying. Tons and tons of people…” He just let the sentence trail, and he left the room.
~~~~~~~~~
Sorry it's been so long, sometimes I get sick from the maintence pills I take for my cancer and I slapped my mom the other day and lost computer priviledges (Ooops)

you guys want more?

This rox!! LOL about slappin ur mom, I guess it wasn't funny at the time though...

Jinny slept like a baby most of the time for the next week. But unfortunately that mixture of chemo didn’t kill off the cancer cells. So Jinny was switched to a stronger mixture of the chemo medicine. The first day she got the stronger pills, she begged for Case, Mag, CD, and Nate in there with her. Because of how tired she got and how awful her meds were she could only have four people in her room at a time.

She took the stronger pills with her lunch, but thirty minutes later she threw up anything that had been in her system from that whole day. She felt horrible, and was always tired. Someone would sit with her in her room everyday, 24 hours a day. For cancer patients, if it got as bad as it did for Jinny this fast, they could have people in their rooms at all times, visiting hours made no difference.

One day, 2 weeks after her chemo started getting even stronger, Jinny would sleep most of the time when she wasn’t throwing up, or going through other torment. She had started to receive her chemo through an IV and was fed that way also. It was impossible for Jinny to keep down any food. Most doctors don’t see many cases as bad as Jinny’s; she couldn’t keep from throwing up for more than 25 minutes. Magda sat in Jin’s room along with Casey, who was taking it especially hard. CD and Nate were working, along with John Jr. Kate would work most of the time, but everyone was there with her for part of every day. John Sr. would often sit in the waiting room for hours upon hours, and then he’d go home and drink himself to sleep.

Exactly two weeks and three days after Jinny started her chemo and was throwing up, Magda ran her hand through her hair and was whispering words to Jinny as she always did. When she removed her hand from Jinny’s head, a large clump, about the size of a fist, sat in Magda’s hand. Jinny lay her head back on the pillow, Magda didn’t want to alarm her so she carefully approached her, “Jinny, you know about all the side effects of your chemo, and well, your starting to loose your hair.”

“I guess it had to happen…” Jinny said before leaning back over the side of her bed and heaving again. Casey and Mag both ran to her bedside and told her it was all okay. There was the spot the hair came from, a spot with no hair, Jinny’s dark hair was gone. She wouldn’t look the same, or probably be the same again. Casey left the room crying, and Magda just sat there while Jinny was going through the most miserable time of her life. Soon, Jinny laid her head on the pillow again and started to cry.

At the division, Kate tossed a folder to CD and Nate, it was 8:30am and they had to work. It was their first case in almost 3 weeks, and they knew they needed to work.

”It’s a rape, 14 year old Jessica Trivven. Sorry guys, I know you’d rather be with Jinny. It’s hard enough knowing she has cancer; working during this time will probably be hard. But please try. I haven’t had a top inspector here in 2 weeks and 3 days. It’s about time I get one.” Kate told them.

CD and Nate nodded. CD had the folder, so she threw it on her partner’s desk, put her head in her hands and didn’t talk for about five minutes. Nate attempted to get her back to reality, but he couldn’t so knowing this is what she needed he let her be.

When CD came back to his world, she looked up, “Is she still at the hospital?”

“I don’t know, we should ask cap.” Nate replied.

CD stood up, knocked on Kate’s door, and entered without a response, “Okay, I never said I wanted to work, I need to work is more like it. So you’ll make today, and probably the next 3-5 days as easy on me as you possibly can. One of my best friends is currently in the hospital, going through the most miserable time of her life, and I can’t be there to help.”

“What can I do for you?”

“Is she still at a hospital, if yes which one?”

“St. Marks.”

“Thank you. We’ll report in if anything happens.”

”Fine.”

CD turned around and walked out the door, “Hey Nate, she’s at St. Marks, let’s go.”

Nate got up and followed, CD had a hard time accepting Jinny’s diagnosis, but so had everyone. She wanted to be there, and she didn’t know why. Teddy still hadn’t been notified, no one knew if Jinny wanted him to know. Every so often, everyone would have times when they’d cry, and no one really wanted to, so they would not cry in front of Jin. CD had more of these times than anyone, could it be because of her previous problems in this area? She would think of it quite often:

”Mommy, is Kerri going to be okay?” the eight-year-old child asked her mother.

“Yes CD, Kerri will be fine.” Her mother replied in a soothing voice. CD’s older sister Kerri was in the hospital with cancer, she had leukemia and was in for a bone marrow transplant, at this point and time it was a very risky procedure that resulted in death over half of the time.

About 20 minutes later, a Dr. walked out of the room where CD’s older sister had been. Her father had been working (her parents were still together at the time) a lot to have enough money for the family, “Ma’am,”

“Yes doctor?”

”Unfortunately your daughter’s infection got out of control, and, well, she died five minutes ago.”

“NO!” CD heard her mother cry out.

“Mommy, Mommy?” CD was tugging at her mother…

Nate yelling at her, they were still standing in their work area, jolted CD back into reality, “Oh, sorry about that.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just, just…well, my older sister died from cancer when I was eight.”

“I’m sorry CD, I didn’t know.”
~~~~~~~~~
more?

MORE!!! OMGsh I luv this!!!

CD just kind of looked at him, “Its okay, I haven’t really gotten over it. I don’t understand why cancer has to happen…I swear, if you need to know the worst five and six letter words in the English language I can give them to you.”

“What exactly are they?” Nate asked while they were walking to the elevator. The doors opened and they got in.

“Cancer and death.”

“It makes sense.” He responded. They walked the rest of the way to the car in silence.

When they arrived at St. Marks, CD looked at him. They both had spent enough time in hospitals for the past two weeks; they couldn’t stand being in hospitals any more. ‘At least it’s not the same hospital Jin’s at.’ CD thought to herself. They walked to the front desk, “Hi,” CD started, “I’m Inspector DeLorenzo, and this is my partner Nate Basso.” They showed the lady their badges, “And we need to speak to Jessica Trivven. She was raped.”

The young lady with blond hair and blue eyes typed the name into the computer, she looked up, “Yes, she’s in room 125, down the hall and to your right.”

“Thank you.” Nate responded. Then he and CD walked off.

When they finally arrived in her room, CD stopped before going in, “Just let me talk, trust me…she probably won’t trust any guy right now. She was just tormented and she’s probably incredibly scared. If she shies away you may want to leave the room until I can convince her that it’s okay.” Nate just nodded in response.

CD opened the door and walked in. A young girl who had short light brown hair and was quite skinny was lying in her bed facing the wall. She had her knees pulled up to her chest. From what both CD and Nate could see, this girl was badly bruised and cut.

“Jessica,” CD said in a soft voice.

“I…I…don’t…I don’t want to talk.”

“Jessica, I’m Inspector CD DeLorenzo, and my partner, Inspector Nate Basso is here with me. We really need to talk to you.”

“Only if he leaves.” She responded. Obviously, a man was the last thing she wanted to come in contact with. She was scared, and she probably didn’t trust anyone, CD or him. But she was more comfortable with females.

CD nodded at Nate and he left the room, “Jessica, he won’t hurt you. He left, but you need to trust both him and myself for this to work. We can’t help you if you don’t talk to us or trust us.” Jessica just nodded to what CD was saying, “Can you tell me what happened?”

”I…I was shopping with my friend, Alissa, and, we were walking back to my house, when…when…this guy came up from behind and grabbed me. I screeched and Alissa turned around. I never saw who did it to me; Alissa might have though, but he through me in the back seat of a car, where another person grabbed me. I never saw him either because they tied something around my face. They drove me somewhere, I’m not sure where, but it was a long drive-“ Jessica was interrupted by CD.

“How long?”

”One or two hours.”

“Okay, continue.”

“They took me into a house, and I remember the house smelled like cigarette smoke, they took me into a different room, because I heard them open the door. They threw me down on a bed and put me in some sort of restraints because I couldn’t move. They told me how horrible I was, and called me inappropriate things. I said whatever I could to make them stop, No, don’t, STOP IT. I screamed everything I could, but the just told me to shut up. Then they took me and dropped me where I was, only they had put my clothes back on.” Tears were streaming down Jessica’s cheeks.

“It’s okay, you did good. I know how hard it can be for victims to tell someone what happened to them. You were brave, okay.” Jessica nodded, “I’m going to go out and talk to my partner. You sleep and your parents will come get you soon.”

CD walked out the door and saw Nate standing there, “I got everything I think we’ll need for now.”

In Jinny’s room, Magda was sitting by her bed while she was sleeping. She had decided to cut what was left of her hair short with the help of Magda; she figured it would be gone soon enough.
~~~~~~~~
more? oh, and sry bout the case but I thought I should include it.

OMG, this is so good!! Post more soon!!!

CD and Nate walked down the hall, “Wait, I forgot to get her friend’s last name.” CD told him.

“We’ll get it later, Cap called me, we’re supposed to go strait to the hospital. Something happened to Jinny.”

“WHAT?”

“She got extremely sick, they don’t know what with. She was moved to ICU and is drifting in and out of consciousness. Captain said that we should go over there immediately. Just in case.”

CD looked at Nate, she was trying to hold back tears, and he knew it, “You do know that it’s okay to cry, don’t you?”

”Yeah,” She replied her voice was shaky, “Let’s just go see if she’s okay.”

Nate steadied CD as they walked to the car. She was obviously worried about her friend, “Do you think that she’s not going to make it or something?” Nate asked her worriedly, he’d never seen CD so shaky.

“I lost my sister to cancer, I don’t want to loose a close friend.”

The young CD was still tugging at her mom’s arm, “What happened? Did she…”

”Candice, Kerri didn’t make it, she got very sick and died.” Her mom stopped, “My sweet little girl, how could this have happened to her.”

”Ma’am, I am very sorry for your daughter’s death, but I do insist that you have your other daughter tested, and any other children you have. Though it is not usual for cancer to be found in one child and their siblings, it has happened. If either of them do have leukemia, we need to start treatment immediately.”

“Fine, but could it wait a week or two, I’d like to get my daughter’s funeral plans under way. She was only 13 years old.”

“Yes, but I still encourage that you have you children tested.”

”Candice is my only other child.”

”Fine, the odds are very slim that she would have cancer, but it still could happen.”

”Thank you doctor.”

Back in the present they had arrived at the hospital where Jinny was. Nate went out and helped CD, “Are you going to be okay through this?”

”Yeah, I think so.” CD responded quietly.

They walked in and rushed to the intensive care unit, in the waiting room, they found Casey, Kate, John Jr. and John Sr. Theodore Blumenthal had also been notified and was sitting in the waiting area, “Mag’s in with Jinny.” Casey explained.

CD and Nate sat down, “Is she okay?” CD asked.

“We don’t know.” Kate replied to her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
more?

MORE!!!!!!! THIS IS SO AWESOME!!!

oooh this is sooooooo good!! post more asap! :-D

In that particular waiting room, there were many, many chairs, but there were 2 couches. Casey and Magda sat on one, and Nate and CD had sat down on the other. CD’s thoughts traveled back, to her sister’s funeral…

“Mommy, why’d this happen to Kerri? It’s all not fair.”

”I know sweetheart, but we just have to deal with this. It’s not going to be easy for us or Daddy.”

Just then CD’s father walked up to them. He grabbed CD, of whom they still called Candice, “Hey, how are you holding up?” He asked his wife.

“Fairly good, I don’t understand why it couldn’t have been me, not Kerri. This is just not fair.”

“Candice, will you go sit with Grandma and Grandpa while I talk to Mommy?”

The young CD nodded, she was rather tall for her age, with blond hair that was to her mid-back. She had on black dress pants with a light blue long sleeve shirt. She went to her Grandma and sat down on her lap, “Grandma, will I ever see Kerri again?” The question was so innocent, she was an eight-year-old girl, and she knew that death meant that Kerri would be gone for a long, long while. But forever, well, she never thought about that.

“Candice, your sister died. When someone dies, they go up to heaven and live with God and Jesus. We see them again when we reach that place, to live eternally there.” Her grandmother told her, stroking her long blonde hair.

About ten minutes later the funeral started, her mom and dad sat down next to her and her grandparents. The pastor went and said kind words about Kerri, her determination, her will to live, and her faith in God. But when the time came to see Kerri, CD’s whole family walked up together, when CD saw her, she started to cry. There she was, the big sister who she idolized, she put on her sister’s make up once when they were going to a movie together, just so she could look “cool”. And now, well there Kerri lay…looking lifeless. Her dad picked her up, cradled her in his arms, and took her back to her seat.

Nate brought CD back to the present. He was talking to her, trying to get her attention, “Were you thinking about…”

”Yes, I miss her. I would wear the exact same outfit as her, wear my hair just as she did, and even talk like her. When she died, I didn’t know what to do.” CD stopped and put her head on his shoulder, “The next year, when I had to do a family tree, I put my sister on one of those branches, and I couldn’t help but cry when I pasted her picture to that tree where your family members and ancestors made up the leaves. When I got up to present it in class, I pointed to the picture and said, ‘this was my sister, but she’s not here anymore.’ And I just moved on. When one kid asked why she wasn’t there, I took one look at the picture and lost it. That day, I was wearing her pastel purple sweater and jeans. That was my favorite outfit that she would wear, she wore it the last time we went to the movies together.” A tear rolled down CD’s cheek and Nate wiped it away, “I never thought that it was fair she had to die, I never thought it was fair that it was her and not me. The day I was tested for cancer, and it came back negative, my mom practically rejoiced that I didn’t have it. When I turned thirteen, and I was tested again, I was cancer free, and I felt guilty. Cancer attacked my sister, not me. I never even had the chance to say good-bye. She was too sick to have visitors. Now whenever I visit her grave I can’t help but think about the fun we’d have together on the days we’d go to the park together, or do something else fun.” CD just let the tears roll, she hadn’t cried for one week, and she didn’t want to, but it had to happen. She couldn’t hold it in.

Nate sat next to her and let the tears roll down her face; he let her sob and say how all of it just wasn’t fair. She wished that she could have traded places with Jinny at that very moment. She didn’t want for Jinny to have cancer; she hadn’t wanted her sister to have it. To this day she still feels guilty about not getting it.
~~~~~~~~~
do you guys like it?

I don't like, I love!!! Post more soon!!!

this is sooooo good! cant wait till ya post more! :D

CD was still crying when Casey came out of Jinny’s room and sat down next to Magda, ”Hey, she’s conscious and she wants to talk to you Mag…”

Magda stood up and walked into Jin’s room, “Hey, are you okay?”

“Mag, if I die, will you tell everyone I love them and that they were all good friends?”

”Jinny, you know I would, but you will not die, okay?”

”Okay, but I just, I’ve been so sick…”

“I know Jin, but you’ll be okay.”

”Mommy, can you get my stuffed animal?”

“Jinny?”

“I WANT MY PIGGY!”

“Shhhhhh, it’s okay Jinny, it’s okay.”

Magda just sat by her bed. She got so sick that sometimes when she was conscious she would start saying random things, things that made no sense to anyone. After about five minutes of saying things to the effect of ‘Good piggy, good piggy.’ And so forth, she went back to sleep, give her a good few hours of sleep and she’ll be okay.

In the waiting room, CD was crying while Nate held her, “CD, you can’t control what happened to Jinny, nor can you control what happened to your sister. It’s okay; you’re fine. Don’t feel guilty that you weren’t diagnosed with cancer. You can’t control anything that happens to others. They didn’t get cancer by choice.”

“I know they didn’t choose to get cancer, I just feel guilty, they got it…I didn’t. I just don’t understand it, Nate. They didn’t deserve this. My sister was practically my best friend. Jinny, well, I almost think of her as a sister. I can’t loose her, I can’t. I just want Kerri back.” CD felt foolish, she was sobbing in front of her friends, she was crying like a baby in front of her boss, “Nate, why am I doing this? What’s wrong with me? Why do I miss her so much?”

“Because, CD, you loved her…she was your sister after all. Anyone who lost a family member will miss them.”

”At times, I think about what her family would be like. She always imagined two kids, one girl named Michelle, and a boy named Eric. They’d all get along. She’d have married a handsome man named Kyle, her crush at the ages of 12 and 13. They’d live in a big house in Nebraska. She told me about that dream so many times. When I was 12, I read her diary, and she mentioned that she always loved me, even though at times I was a brat. I still have that, and many of her other prized possessions, but she never thought that she could actually get a guy. She always asked me, ‘Do you think a guy will go for a girl with cancer?’ I always said ‘OF COURSE’ thinking she’d live long enough to find her Mr. Right, why couldn’t she?” CD said wiping away a tear. She looked at Nate; he just stared at her with sympathetic eyes. He didn’t know what it was like for her…he’d never actually had a sibling die.
******
more?

is anyone reading this?:cool:

I AM!!!!!!!!! I just havent been on the mb's recently...but in a nut-shell please add more!!!!!!!I love it!

“CD, I don’t know exactly what this is like for you, but I do know it’s hard. But If I know anything, I bet your sister wouldn’t want you crying right now.”

“I just don’t get it, she never got to live her life or fulfill her dreams. SHE WAS THIRTEEN WHEN SHE WAS KILLED BECAUSE OF CANCER!!!!!!! It’s not fair Nate, it’s not fair.”

Magda walked out of Jinny’s room, “She’s asleep, but I don’t know how long she’ll be able to stay that way.”

“Someone should be in with her.” Kate spoke up.

”Yeah…” A few voices said at once. CD was still crying, but she had gotten it down to a small whimper.

John Jr. got up and walked down the hall to Jinny’s room. He waited outside the door, this would be the first time he will have seen her since this whole infection thing started. He was scared, he couldn’t loose his sister, she meant so much to him; Jin was his tie to their mother. But that wasn’t the only reason he couldn’t loose her, she was his sister after all. He cared about her and loved her. He just had a weird way of showing it. When he walked in the door, Jinny was lying in a bed, there was a heart monitor, an IV stand, other wires, the machines in case something would happen…John just sat down in the chair next to Jinny’s bed, he quietly listened to the beep of the heart monitor. John wished that he could be in Jin’s place at the moment, and not stuck just watching.

No one really knew what time it was when at 8:30pm Kate looked at her watch and said, “Hey, you all should head home and get some sleep. It’s 8:30 pm…” She let the sentence trail off, did anyone really care that it was late? Jinny was so much more important at the moment. No one left that night; everyone slept there, John Jr. eventually left her room and sat next to his father.

CD fell asleep about 20 minutes later with her head in Nate’s lap. He would carefully push her hair out of her face and rub her arm every once in a while. He didn’t know what she was going through, but he knew it was hard and painful. His cancer scare when he was five was bad enough, and he still goes in monthly just to check for any signs. Magda fell asleep next to Casey, and he eventually got to sleep too. John Jr. was the only one who went home.

By midnight, everyone had fallen asleep; Casey was the last one to eventually slip into dreamland. A nurse came by around 12:30pm, and everyone was asleep, she contemplated waking some of them up, but decided that it was against their best interests. She quietly slipped into Jinny’s room and took her temperature. It had gone down from 103.5 to 102, that was a very good sign. She quickly jotted it down on her chart and gave her some pain medication through the IV, which stood for all of her liquids and food and medicine. She then slipped out of the room just as quietly as she had come in, and went back to the main desk in that area.

Around 2:30am, Nate woke to the sound of John Jr. snoring, he just shook his head, looked at CD and closed his eyes and prayed that the nightmare would be over soon enough. Later that day, he would to in for the test that would determine his future, and how well CD would be able to handle her life. He had promised once that he’d be there for her and she could tell him anything, and she had told him quite a bit. But if he had cancer, what would happen? He would be putting more emotional stress on her, and he would pull her from her job more than she had been now. They had a rape case to finish; he couldn’t get himself hospitalized now…he couldn’t do anything like that to CD. He knew that she could barely handle what was currently thrown at her; if anything else happened; he couldn’t imagine that. Nate kept thinking about all of the ‘What Ifs’ of his situation and eventually drifted off, into what can sometimes be a person’s perfect world.
**************
Oh my goodness, I'm sorry it's been so long, i've just been sick, and a friend of mine died in a car crash...so I haven't been having the best time in my life! here's more, hope ya like it!

hey this is awesome!!! add more soon~

this is so good . please when you get the chance post more.

Ya know what would be a REALLY good idea?

I think it would a great idea for you to post more on your fic.
mmmhmmm ,* nods head so hard i accidently pop my neck. ouch!*it surely would be. mmhmm,yup!

*hint-hint* ;)

Everyone slept on and off the whole night, CD didn’t stir much, and Nate was thankful for
that. But everyone woke up at least once, some to check on Jinny, some just because they
couldn’t sleep, and CD because she just couldn’t stop feeling guilty. She watched her sister
slowly die from cancer, and now one of her best friends was slipping away from her.

Around 6:00 am, everyone had woken up, CD and Nate both knew they had to work, there
was a young girls rapist running the streets of San Francisco. Nate had already talked to
Cap about getting off from about 2-3:30 and she had agreed. CD would probably need some
down-time by then anyway.

CD went into Jin’s room to see how she was doing. Jinny was still asleep, so CD sat down
next to Jinny’s bed. She watched her sleep for about fifteen minutes before Nate went in
to get her, both of them needed to change, and he was her ride, “CD, we need to go in a few
minutes.”
CD wiped away a single tear and turned to face him, “Okay, just a few minutes, please.”
“Okay, I’ll come get you when we have to go.”

CD looked at Jinny who was starting to stir, she just waited to see if she was waking up.
When Jinny’s eyes opened, CD smiled at her, “CD, what are you doing here?”
“Nate and I have to go into work, and I figured I’d say good morning before we left.”
“Thanks.” Jinny appeared to be in better condition than she was yesterday. She was aware
of her surroundings.

Nate peeked his head in, “CD...Oh Jinny! Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Um, could be worse...but I’ve been a hell of a lot better!”
“CD we’ve got to go. We need to go talk with Jessica Trivven again.”
“Got it Nate.” CD looked back at Jinny, “We’ll talk to you later, okay Jin?”
“Yeah...go. Is Magda here yet?”
“Yeah...she’s here, do want us to get her?” Nate asked.
“If you could...”

Nate and CD nodded and left the room. Nate went and got Magda while CD just stood back.
She refused to cry in front of everyone, again. Nate walked over to her and they started to
walk out the door, Kate would follow in a while, she also had to go home and change.

“Do you want to change first, or should I?” Nate asked CD.
“I don’t care. I just need food eventaully.”
“Got it.” Nate drove to his place and both of them went in. She sat in his living room and
watched a little TV while he went into the bedroom so he could change. He came back out in
fresh clothes-khaki pants and a black sweater-and noticed that CD had drifted off on his
couch.

He laughed to himself, she hadn’t gotten enough sleep last night apparently. He walked over
to her and shook her a little bit. She woke up right away, “Oh...sorry.”
“It’s okay, lets just get you to your place so you can change.”

CD got up and they got back in the car. When they made it to her place, Nate sat in her
living room while she took a shower and got dressed. When she came out, her eyes were red
and she had been crying again. Nate went over to her and hugged her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
sry it took so long and that It's so short and not so great...I'll post more soon...yeah...it took me two months for this one!

oh yeah...do y'all want more?

:D Thankyou :D

At the hospital, Magda was in Jinny’s room. She had fallen asleep, Magda just sat back and
continued to watch her. Jinny looked like a child, she had lost quite a bit of weight, had no
hair, she looked like a frightened child. Magda couldn’t stop thinking about how she was
almost taking care of Jinny right now, it was as if Jinny was now her daughter. Magda just
sat there for twenty more minutes, remembering the first time she and Jinny met, when
they talked about becoming partners, everything. It was amazing that they’d had so many
fights and continued to be best friends.

Casey looked in the room, “Magda, could I sit with her for a while?”
“Yeah, no problem Casey.” Magda stood up and was about to leave the room when she turned
around, “Hey Casey,”
“What?”
“Why’d it have to happen to her? Why couldn’t it have been me?” Magda said, her voice was
weak, and she sounded like she was about to cry.
“I don’t know, Mag. I honestly don’t know.”

With that, Magda turned and left the room, taking one last look at Jinny.

On the way to work, CD and Nate went through a drive-through. Both got biscuits and gravy.
They went to a near by Starbucks and both got coffee. They arrived at work and sat down
at their desks, both started eating, they were technically thirty minutes early. CD and Nate
both ate their food in silence. After CD was done, she through her stuff away and put her
head down on the desk. Within five minutes she was again asleep.

She fell asleep about 7:45 am, and Nate figured he’d wake her up around 8:30. She hadn’t
slept much the night before, even though she got quite a bit of sleep, for her it just wasn’t
enough. It was weird to think that it had been almost 5 weeks since Jinny had been
diagnosed, and so much had happened already. Nate didn’t want to go in for a head CT later
that day, but he knew he had no choice. He had been warned that it often happened that
tumors, whether benign or malignant, would often return after several years. He hadn’t had
any symptoms, yet, but he never knew for sure.

Nate sat at his desk, wondering what to do. They’ll have a 2-3:30 break that won’t be
normal. What would he tell her?
~~~~~~~~~~~
right now this is really bad...but if you want more tell me!

i take it no one wants me to post more...cuz if you do, I will, if not, then tell me so when I do finish it, I don't post any more here. I refuse to put it up if no one will read it.

there are a few of us who want you to post more

“V-Fib!” Magda heard one of the people say. She was leaning against the wall with tears
rolling down her cheeks and her hands over her mouth.

“Ma’am, you need to leave the room.” She wasn’t aware of who was talking to her, but she
obeyed and numbly walked out.

Her sobs could be heard from where she was to the waiting room, where much of Jinny’s
family waited. She walked to the waiting room and sat down next to Casey.

“Magda, what’s wrong?” Casey asked, his voice was far from steady.
“She...she...” Magda didn’t want to say it, “She, went into cardiac arrest.”

Casey looked as shocked as Magda did. The color drained from his, Teddy’s, John Sr, and
John Jr’s faces. They were now facing reality, Jinny may not be able to fight this battle.
The girl who fought everything and tried her hardest to overcome her obstacles, may not
make it through this time. She may not survive to see the next day, she may not survive to
see her next birthday, she may not survive to see anything else. She may die within the next
twenty seconds. It was reality.

After a long 15 minutes, Dr. Freeze, Jinny’s oncologist, walked into the waiting room.
Everyone looked up, “She’s okay. I will allow visitors, only one at a time though. She’s
currently asleep, and I’d like to keep it that way for the time being.”

A look of relief came upon everyone’s face. Magda called Kate, and she promised to inform
both Nate and CD who were still at their desks. CD was on the phone with Jessica Trivven
getting Alissa’s last name, phone number, address, and school. They’d go directly to her
school so they could talk to her right away.

“CD, Nate,” Kate said as she walked up to their desks, “Jinny went into cardiac arrest.”
Suddenly all the color drained from CD’s face, “They revived her and she’s fine now. I just
thought you two should know.”

CD sighed. She was relieved Jinny was okay, she couldn’t lose someone else to cancer, she
just couldn’t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
there ya go Chrissya, and anyone else who may be reading. I'll only add more if I get responses.

thank ya this is getting better with each post . How are you doing? great work keep it up.