Frank Gannucci
10-17-2016, 08:00 AM
My skit of the Kramdens & Nortons go to Europe again and a note:
Note: I will be on vacation from Oct. 20-Nov. 5 or 6th. I won't post quotes during the vacation except on Halloween. The episode reviews will also be posted during that time as well as I have them all saved on e-mails.
(Ralph & Ed are packing the limo for the trip.)
Ralph: “Be careful Norton. That is my suitcase.”
Ed: “All right. I will set it down.”
(Ed puts it on Ralph’s foot.)
Ralph (yells): “OWW! WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU?”
Ed: “Sorry Ralph. I just can’t wait to go to Europe again.”
Ralph: “This time we will take a cruise and visit the Holy Land, Italy again, Turkey…”
Ed: “I can’t wait to see Turkey and eat all of their turkeys that they cook over there.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes. Alice & Trixie come down.)
Trixie: “This will be a great trip.”
Alice: “I agree.”
Ralph: “We never saw Turkey before.”
Driver: “What is the first thing you are going to see in Europe?”
Ralph (sings): “When I arrive in Turkey, I am going to explore/the many famous things that Turkey is famous for/I will visit all the smart cafes and have a round of drinks/When I’m in Turkey, I may stop to see the Sphinx.”
Ed, Alice & Trixie: “The Sphinx?”
Ralph (sings): “In Turkey, there is a Sphinx.”
All (sing): “You can see it in Turkey.”
Ralph: “Let’s go.”
(They all board the limo.)
Ralph (yells): “AND AWAY WE GO!”
(They leave.)
(They arrive on the cruise in Turkey. They then cruise around Turkey. As they are approaching Israel, Ralph & Ed go on the dock.)
Ed: “Hey Ralph, I am disappointed.”
Ralph: “Why?”
Ed: “I found out that over here in Turkey, they are not as fond of turkeys as I thought.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ralph: "Well, here we are Norton. On the ship's dock. Let's sit down."
(They sit down.)
Ed: "Can you put the blanket on me?"
Ralph: "Sure."
(Ralph does.)
Ralph: "Can you put my blanket on me?"
Ed: "Sure."
(Ed gets up and puts the blanket on Ralph.)
Ed: "Now, do the same thing for me?"
(Ralph starts to, but stops.)
Ralph: "You are not going to get me that easy."
(Ed starts to write a postcard.)
Ed: "'Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Smith: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Nat: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry & Smith. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hope things are flowing nicely in the sewer. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry, Nat & Smith but they might be busy giving regards to each..."
Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"
(Ralph gets up.)
Ralph: “I am sick Norton. It’s my stomach.”
Ed: “Well, that is a big problem.”
Ralph (yells): “NEVER MIND THAT.”
Ed: "Come on Ralph. Time to sing: "'I never felt better in my life.'"
Ralph (sings): "I never felt better in my..." (not singing): "Whooaaaaaaaaaa!...Now, I feel better. Boy, this ship is like a regular city. There's a movie theater, several night clubs, several shops. It's like we haven't left New York."
Ed: “Hey Ralph, let’s lean over on the rail.”
Ralph: “Yes, we should. I don’t believe the girls when they say that we shouldn’t do that.”
(They do and they fall into the ocean.)
Ralph (yells): “DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
(Splash!)
(The girls and boys, still soaked, arrive in Israel.)
Alice: “Boy, you boys had to embarrass yourselves on Celebrity Cruise. We told you that their railings are weak. Now, I hope you two don’t embarrass ourselves.”
Ed: “Hey, at least I can say that I was home right in that water unlike Ralph who looked like a whale.”
Ralph (yells): “COME ON NORTON! PUT’ EM UP! YOU HAVE BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY.”
(Everyone tries to separate them and make peace.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Let's introduce every one of the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
Note: I will be on vacation from Oct. 20-Nov. 5 or 6th. I won't post quotes during the vacation except on Halloween. The episode reviews will also be posted during that time as well as I have them all saved on e-mails.
(Ralph & Ed are packing the limo for the trip.)
Ralph: “Be careful Norton. That is my suitcase.”
Ed: “All right. I will set it down.”
(Ed puts it on Ralph’s foot.)
Ralph (yells): “OWW! WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU?”
Ed: “Sorry Ralph. I just can’t wait to go to Europe again.”
Ralph: “This time we will take a cruise and visit the Holy Land, Italy again, Turkey…”
Ed: “I can’t wait to see Turkey and eat all of their turkeys that they cook over there.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes. Alice & Trixie come down.)
Trixie: “This will be a great trip.”
Alice: “I agree.”
Ralph: “We never saw Turkey before.”
Driver: “What is the first thing you are going to see in Europe?”
Ralph (sings): “When I arrive in Turkey, I am going to explore/the many famous things that Turkey is famous for/I will visit all the smart cafes and have a round of drinks/When I’m in Turkey, I may stop to see the Sphinx.”
Ed, Alice & Trixie: “The Sphinx?”
Ralph (sings): “In Turkey, there is a Sphinx.”
All (sing): “You can see it in Turkey.”
Ralph: “Let’s go.”
(They all board the limo.)
Ralph (yells): “AND AWAY WE GO!”
(They leave.)
(They arrive on the cruise in Turkey. They then cruise around Turkey. As they are approaching Israel, Ralph & Ed go on the dock.)
Ed: “Hey Ralph, I am disappointed.”
Ralph: “Why?”
Ed: “I found out that over here in Turkey, they are not as fond of turkeys as I thought.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes.)
Ralph: "Well, here we are Norton. On the ship's dock. Let's sit down."
(They sit down.)
Ed: "Can you put the blanket on me?"
Ralph: "Sure."
(Ralph does.)
Ralph: "Can you put my blanket on me?"
Ed: "Sure."
(Ed gets up and puts the blanket on Ralph.)
Ed: "Now, do the same thing for me?"
(Ralph starts to, but stops.)
Ralph: "You are not going to get me that easy."
(Ed starts to write a postcard.)
Ed: "'Dear Harry: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Bruce: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Smith: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce and Harry. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Nat: Having a wonderful time. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry & Smith. Signed Ed Norton.' 'Dear Boss: Having a wonderful time. Hope things are flowing nicely in the sewer. Give my regards to Bruce, Harry, Nat & Smith but they might be busy giving regards to each..."
Ralph (yells): "STOP THAT!"
(Ralph gets up.)
Ralph: “I am sick Norton. It’s my stomach.”
Ed: “Well, that is a big problem.”
Ralph (yells): “NEVER MIND THAT.”
Ed: "Come on Ralph. Time to sing: "'I never felt better in my life.'"
Ralph (sings): "I never felt better in my..." (not singing): "Whooaaaaaaaaaa!...Now, I feel better. Boy, this ship is like a regular city. There's a movie theater, several night clubs, several shops. It's like we haven't left New York."
Ed: “Hey Ralph, let’s lean over on the rail.”
Ralph: “Yes, we should. I don’t believe the girls when they say that we shouldn’t do that.”
(They do and they fall into the ocean.)
Ralph (yells): “DUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
(Splash!)
(The girls and boys, still soaked, arrive in Israel.)
Alice: “Boy, you boys had to embarrass yourselves on Celebrity Cruise. We told you that their railings are weak. Now, I hope you two don’t embarrass ourselves.”
Ed: “Hey, at least I can say that I was home right in that water unlike Ralph who looked like a whale.”
Ralph (yells): “COME ON NORTON! PUT’ EM UP! YOU HAVE BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY.”
(Everyone tries to separate them and make peace.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: "Let's introduce every one of the cast. First: Jean Kean."
(Audience cheers as Jean comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(Audience cheers as Aud comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(Audience cheers as Art comes on stage and shakes Jack’s hand.)
Jackie: “GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)