Frank Gannucci
09-02-2016, 07:50 AM
A Honeymooners Labor Day:
(Ralph & Ed are having a barbeque at the pool room.)
Ed: “Boy, what a great way to celebrate Labor Day Ralphie. I can’t believe that summer is almost over.”
Ralph: “Me neither. It goes by too fast.”
Ed: “I am going to miss playing basketball with all the neighborhood kids.”
Ralph: “You certainly are a kid Norton.”
(Harvey & George walk by.)
Harvey: “Look at what we have here. It looks like Ralph is going to get fatter.”
(George laughs.)
Ralph: “I believe you are jealous that I am getting all the attention here.”
Harvey: “Oh yeah? How about me & George get our own grill, bring it over here and we will have a cookoff?”
Ed: “That sounds fine.”
(Ralph is upset.)
Harvey: “Come on George. After tonight, we will celebrate the fruits of our labor by getting drunk.”
(They leave.)
Ed (yells): “APOX ON YOU AND YOUR ANCESTERS” (normally): “Ralph, why did you have to agree to a cookoff with that guy for?”
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE A MENTAL CASE.” (normally): “Now, I have to have a cookoff.”
Ed: “Without having to eat the food yourself.”
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NORTON.”
(Later on, Harvey & George come by with the grill and have a cookoff with Ralph & Ed. Smoke is billowing everywhere. People are coughing due to everyone cooking food badly. Ralph & Ed are coughing very loudly.)
Ralph: “It pays to buy the best. It looks like my burnt hotdogs are much better than Harveys.”
Ed: “Yeah but Harvey’s burgers are better than yours.”
(Ralph slaps Ed.)
Man: “What smoke. I am leaving. This is the worst Labor Day ever due to these four nutcases.”
Ralph (yells): “IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE SMOKE, GET OUT OF HERE.”
Man #2 (yells): “WHEN DID YOU FOUR NUTS ESCAPE. WE ARE ALL LEAVING.”
(Another man comes by with pails of water.)
Man #3 (yells): “TIME TO PUT THE FIRE OUT.”
(He accidentally douses Ralph. Ed laughs.)
Man #3 (yells): “SORRY SIR.”
(The fire department comes.)
Ed: “Ralph, looks like your plan to win the cookoff, got all wet.”
Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(Ed leaves.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach Labor Days are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
(Ralph & Ed are having a barbeque at the pool room.)
Ed: “Boy, what a great way to celebrate Labor Day Ralphie. I can’t believe that summer is almost over.”
Ralph: “Me neither. It goes by too fast.”
Ed: “I am going to miss playing basketball with all the neighborhood kids.”
Ralph: “You certainly are a kid Norton.”
(Harvey & George walk by.)
Harvey: “Look at what we have here. It looks like Ralph is going to get fatter.”
(George laughs.)
Ralph: “I believe you are jealous that I am getting all the attention here.”
Harvey: “Oh yeah? How about me & George get our own grill, bring it over here and we will have a cookoff?”
Ed: “That sounds fine.”
(Ralph is upset.)
Harvey: “Come on George. After tonight, we will celebrate the fruits of our labor by getting drunk.”
(They leave.)
Ed (yells): “APOX ON YOU AND YOUR ANCESTERS” (normally): “Ralph, why did you have to agree to a cookoff with that guy for?”
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE A MENTAL CASE.” (normally): “Now, I have to have a cookoff.”
Ed: “Without having to eat the food yourself.”
Ralph (yells): “YOU ARE GOING TO GET IT NORTON.”
(Later on, Harvey & George come by with the grill and have a cookoff with Ralph & Ed. Smoke is billowing everywhere. People are coughing due to everyone cooking food badly. Ralph & Ed are coughing very loudly.)
Ralph: “It pays to buy the best. It looks like my burnt hotdogs are much better than Harveys.”
Ed: “Yeah but Harvey’s burgers are better than yours.”
(Ralph slaps Ed.)
Man: “What smoke. I am leaving. This is the worst Labor Day ever due to these four nutcases.”
Ralph (yells): “IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE SMOKE, GET OUT OF HERE.”
Man #2 (yells): “WHEN DID YOU FOUR NUTS ESCAPE. WE ARE ALL LEAVING.”
(Another man comes by with pails of water.)
Man #3 (yells): “TIME TO PUT THE FIRE OUT.”
(He accidentally douses Ralph. Ed laughs.)
Man #3 (yells): “SORRY SIR.”
(The fire department comes.)
Ed: “Ralph, looks like your plan to win the cookoff, got all wet.”
Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(Ed leaves.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. The Miami Beach Labor Days are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)