After looking at the thread on license plates, I thought I should start one on Bumper Stickers.

What are some of the funniest ones you've seen?

Here is a list of some of my favorites:


Bad cop! NO Donut!
Keep Honking, I'm reloading.
Miss your wife? Reload and try again.
HANG UP and DRIVE!
Horn broken, Watch for finger.
I hate bumper stickers.
True happiness is seeing your mother-in-laws picture on a milk carton.
Driver carries no cash. He's married!
SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.
GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.
IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.
MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.
PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES, SEEKSFROG.
COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN. . . SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.
DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.
IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.
DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.
I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN - AND I HAVE A GUN.
GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. BUT LIKE... WHO CARES?
NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.
AND YOUR POINT IS...?
WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY... I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
DO NOT START WITH ME. YOU WILL NOT WIN.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.
ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.
I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.
SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED, I'M NOT.
IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.
DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.
Yes this is my pickup truck, and NO I wont help you move!
If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?
Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not You!
Jesus is coming! Look busy!
You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT
Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.
My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom
GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
All men are idiots....I married their king.
The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Out of my mind...Back in five minutes.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Where there's a will...I want to be in it.
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry....Then things get worse.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home.
Always remember you're unique...Just like everyone else.


When I think of some more, I'll post more.


D

EARTH FIRST - We'll log the other planets later.
If your ship hasn't come in...Swim out to it!
I LIKE CATS! They taste like chicken.
Men are proof that women can take a joke.
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
I like you but I wouldn't want to see you working with sub-atomic particles.
"Auntie Em: Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy"
LOTTERY: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.
WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Few women admit their age, few men act it.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an idiot.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Forget about world peace... visualize using your turn signal.
WARNING: DATES ON CALENDAR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Bumper sticker in the year 2100: DISCO STILL SUCKS


D

Honk if your horny.

:lol:

I've seen lots, but for some reason, that sticks in my mind......don't ask why. :lol:

:rotflmao: I've seen a lot of the same ones that you posted, D... omg those are funny!

http://home.sprintmail.com/~davekre/BumperSticker2.gif

http://home.sprintmail.com/~davekre/BumperSticker4.gif

http://sticker.goldentroll.com/images/insanity.jpg

http://sticker.goldentroll.com/images/C306dude.jpg

I find this one amusing :cool:

:lol: Those are all hilarious. Here's one that was in FOL:

" I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you"


However, the one you posted, D about "Ever stop to think and forget to start again?" is hilarious and my excuse from now on!







ks

I like this 1

This 1s my favorite :D

I have a bumper sticker on my car that says I Love NY

I didnt read every single one (Im lazy LOl) but my fav. that I wanna get is:

UNLESS YOU'RE A HEMMERHOID, GET OFF MY ASS. LOl

:lol: those are funny, I can't think of any good ones, somebody post more!

2 that im getting

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1261540
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1261543

funny
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1260932
http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=1266928

Jesus is coming and boy is he pissed!

Originally posted by ¤MsConanOBrien¤
I didnt read every single one (Im lazy LOl) but my fav. that I wanna get is:

UNLESS YOU'RE A HEMMERHOID, GET OFF MY ASS. LOl

My mom's friend has that on her car!!!

:lol:
I've seen a lot of those before, they're great

I have...
"Men have feelings too, but who really cares?"
"Everybody loves an Irish girl"
"Caution: I can go from 0 to bitch in 2.5 seconds"
"Republican women make good role models, you're following one now"

Originally posted by Ags2000
Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal. :notworthy


:rofl: Theyre all hilarious. I need to get that one though. I swear when someone doesnt use their directional, I get the urge to blow off their tire or ram into them. Thats my road rage.

These are my favorites:

http://www.coloradomountainstickers.com/pics/native.gif

http://www.coloradomountainstickers.com/pics/skinaked.gif

http://www.coloradomountainstickers.com/pics/rockymountainhigh.gif

http://www.coloradomountainstickers.com/pics/ifgod.gif

I hate the soccer mom bumper stickers. they're just so overused

Some may have been repeated. I tried to keep most of the religious ones out.

Always Remember You`re Unique Just Like Everyone
A Woman Without a Man is like a fish without a bicycle
Before You Criticize Someone, Walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he`ll be a mile away -- and barefoot.
Buckle Up! It Makes it Harder for the Aliens to suck you out of your car
I Can Only Please One Person Per Day.today Is Not your day. Tomorow doesn`t look good either
Caution: Never Drive Faster Than Your Angel Can Fly
Caution! I brake for Elves Fairies, Gnomes, Leprechauns, Unicorns, Dragons & other invisible creatures that only i can see
Chaos, Panic & Disorder. My Work Here Is Done
Dear God, Please Save Me From Your "Good People"
Denial Is Not A River In Egypt
Don`t Believe Everything You Think
Don`t make me get Voodoo on your ass.
Don`t Steal The Government Hates Competition
Don`t piss me off. I`m running out of places to hide the bodies.
Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
Eat Right, Exercise! Die Anyway
Errors Have Been Made. Others Will Be Blamed
Eve Was Framed
Finish Your Beer..There Are Sober People In China
God Is Coming And Is She Pissed
Go Directly To Hell do not pass go do not collect $200
Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go Everywhere
Good Judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from Poor Judgement
Hatred is Learned Behavior
Hard Work Never Killed Anybody, But Why Take Chances
Hell The Hot Place To Be
Here I Am. Now What Were Your Other Two Wishes?
Honk if you Love Peace & Quiet
How Do I Set my Laser Printer To Stun?
I Think Aliens Are Abducting My Mail
I am Not a Bitch, I`m THE Bitch & and Its Miss Bitch to you!
I Believe In Dragons, Good Men And Other Fantasy Creatures
I Didn`t Do It, But If I Could, I Would Have
I Do Whatever My Rice Crispies Tell Me To
If at first you don`t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
If Barbie is so Popular why do you have to buy all her friends?
If Ignorance Is Bliss,you Must Be Orgasmic.
If Only Closed Minds Came with Closed Mouths
I Found Jesus, He was Behind the Sofa the Whole Time
If the World Didn`t Suck we`d all fall off
If We Aren`t Supposed to eat Humans, then why are they made of meat?
I Got This Motorhome For My Wife . . .BEST deal I ever made!
I Hate This Town
I Have Plenty Of Talent & Vision. I just don`t care.
I Know There`s A Hell- I Work In Retail
I Like You. You Remind Me of When I Was Young & Stupid
I`ll try being Nicer, if you`ll try being Smarter
I`m Already Visualizing the Duct Tape over your mouth.
I`m not Weird... I`m Special.
I`m Really Easy to Get Along With, Once you people learn to worship me
I`m so Broke, I Can`t Even Pay Attention
I`m The Man Of This House and I have my wife`s permission to say so.
Instead of Being Born Again, Why Not Just Grow Up?
I Started With Nothing & Have Most of It Left
It`s a Thankless Job, But I`ve Got a Lot of Karma to burn off.
It`s As Bad As You Think, And They Are Out To Get You
It`s NOT testosterone. It`s estrogen poisoning.
It`s Not a Beer Gut. It`s a Liquid Grain storage facility!
I took a pain pill. Why are you still here?
It`s Lonely At The Top, But You Eat Better
It`s A Witch Thing, You Wouldn`t Understand
It`s Your Hell You Burn In It
I Used To Have A Handle On Life,then It Broke.
I`ve Run Out Of Sick Days,So I`m Calling in Dead
If You Lack Enemies, You Are Not Doing Something Worthwhile
If You Think Nobody Cares You`re Alive try missing a couple of car payments.
Jesus Loves You, But I`m His Favorite
Judging by Pictures, Hell looks more interesting then that other place
Keep the Earth Clean... It`s not Uranus!
Last Time We Mixed Politics with Religion... People Got Burned at the Stake.
Live Simply So That Others May Simply Live
Lottery: A Tax on People who are bad at math
Love Your Enemies. It really gets them confused.
Madness takes its Toll. Please Have Exact Change.
Minds are like parachutes... they only function when OPEN.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
My Convictions are Not for Public Display
My Family Is More Dysfunctional Than Your Family
My Mind Wandered & Never Came Back
My Mind Not Only Wanders sometimes it leaves completely.
Nasty People Suck
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
No I Didn`t Sell My Soul to satan, but we did work out a rent to own deal
No Matter Where You Go There You Are
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE for the man who doesn`t have to do it himself.
Nothin` Says Lovin` Like Somethin` from the Coven
Of all the things I`ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Of course I don`t look busy... I did it right the first time.
Oh, sure...but what`s the speed of DARK!?
One Man`s Salvation Is Another Man`s Peril
Peace: Let It Begin With Me
Please Shoot Yourself
Practice Random Kindness & Senseless Acts of Beauty
Practice safe sex... Go F+++ Yourself!
Put More FUN In DysFUNctional
Reality is for people who lack Imagination
Rome Did Not Create A Great Empire by having meetings. They did it by killing those who opposed them.
Save the Whales... Collect a whole set.
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
"School Takes Thirteen Years because that`s how long it takes to break a childs spirit"
Sex Is Like Air. It`s not Important Unless You Aren`t Getting Any
Sentence Your Child To An Education
Smile If You`re Not Wearing Underwear
Sometimes I Think I Understand Everything then I regain consciousness
Support Your Local Undertaker...Drop Dead
Sure you can trust the Government... Just ask an Indian.
Smile Your Government is Watching
Teach, Don`t Preach
That`s a Face Only a Mother Could Love and she`s having trouble
The Beatings Will Continue until morale improves
They Are Not Hot Flashes... They Are Power Surges
The more People I meet, the more I like my Dog.
The Problem With The Gene Pool is there is no lifeguard.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. YOU CHOOSE!!
The Sex Was So Good that even the neighbors had a cigarette
There`s too much blood in my Caffeine System
Things Haven`t Been The Same since that house fell on my sister.
VEGETARIAN Primitive Word for Lousy Hunter
WARNING I have precognitive paranoia
WARNING: I have an Attitude & I know how to use it.
Watch Out for the Idiot Behind Me
We`re All Here Because We`re Not All
What`s Popular is not always right. What`s Right is not always popular.
Where Are All The Good People
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
Work: It Isn`t Just For Sleeping Anymore
Yes, I`m Lost. What`s Your Excuse?
Yesterday was the Last Day for Complaints.
Yes, I am an Agent of Satan, but my duties are largely Ceremonial.
You! Off my planet!
Your Proctologist Called, They Found Your Head
You`re just jealous because the Voices are talking to me.
Your Village called...the Idiot is missing.

i have one on my notebook that says "marijuana: hey, at least it's not crack!" *shrugs*

and i saw this one one time that said "save a tree, eat a beaver" wooo!

and lets not forget "everytime you masterbate, god kills a kitten."

My two favorites are:

"Do you ever feel like a fire hydrant, and all your friends are dogs?"

"My kid was student of the month at the Los Angeles Correctional Facility"