Frank Gannucci
06-16-2016, 08:41 AM
A Honeymooners Father’s Day:
(The Kramdens & Nortons arrive at Red Bull Stadium with Trixie’s parents and Alice’s parents. Ralph is sulking.)
Alice’s Dad: “Good thing that all of us are going to see the NY Red Bulls play today.”
Ralph (sarcastically): “Yeah.”
Trixie’s Dad: “They actually may win it all this year.”
Ralph (whispering to Alice): “If your Dad bothers me during this boring game, you will get yours.”
Alice: “Ralph.”
Ed: “This game should be good. I used to be a goalie in public school for soccer. One time I got hit in the head with the ball and I got a headache on my brain. So I went to the school nurse who removed the headache with a pill. Then, I got teased by my classmates who said: ‘What did she remove, the headache or the brain?’ Hahaha.”
Ralph: “You don’t have to ask me. I know what she removed.”
Alice’s Mom: “Now Ralph, this day is for all the Dads so don’t eat all the food in the stadium.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes while Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!”
Trixie’s Mom: “It’s a shame that you Ralph & Ed never had any kids to call your own.”
Ed: “I would make a great father. Watching a son grow up from a little guy. Have him go through high school and when he would graduate from college and be ready to face the world, I would have given him a job with me in the sewer.”
Ralph: “You would give a college graduate a sewer job?”
Ed: “Certainly. The sewer accepts college grads.”
Alice’s Dad: “Lets all get ready to enjoy the game. This will be a great Father’s Day. Too bad that Ralph would not make a good father.”
(Ralph is fuming.)
(During the game, Ralph actually becomes a casual fan of the Red Bulls.)
Ralph: “Boy, this was a great idea that the dads of us had. Hahaha. Why don’t we all pay for your food here. I will get the food.”
Alice: “Ralph, that will be too much.”
Ed: “Let me help out Ralph-ie boy.”
Ralph: “Okay Norton. It’s a shame that me and Norton may never become great fathers like you two. I wish my father was able to come here to enjoy being at Red Bulls Stadium. I just talked to him today.”
Ed: “On my telephone.”
Ralph: “We all will agree that fathers like you two are great and no family would be complete without dads.”
(They all sing a song about dads. After that, the crowd applauds.)
Ralph: “I think this experience made me a Red Bulls fan.”
(Ralph accidentally gets hit in the head with a soccer ball.)
Ralph (yells): “OOOOW! THAT HURTS.”
Alice’s Dad: “Maybe you should be a goalie Ralph. With your size, you would cover the whole goal.”
(Ralph challenges Alice’s Dad to a fight. Everybody tries to calm them down.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. How sweet it is.”
(Crowd cheers.)
(The Kramdens & Nortons arrive at Red Bull Stadium with Trixie’s parents and Alice’s parents. Ralph is sulking.)
Alice’s Dad: “Good thing that all of us are going to see the NY Red Bulls play today.”
Ralph (sarcastically): “Yeah.”
Trixie’s Dad: “They actually may win it all this year.”
Ralph (whispering to Alice): “If your Dad bothers me during this boring game, you will get yours.”
Alice: “Ralph.”
Ed: “This game should be good. I used to be a goalie in public school for soccer. One time I got hit in the head with the ball and I got a headache on my brain. So I went to the school nurse who removed the headache with a pill. Then, I got teased by my classmates who said: ‘What did she remove, the headache or the brain?’ Hahaha.”
Ralph: “You don’t have to ask me. I know what she removed.”
Alice’s Mom: “Now Ralph, this day is for all the Dads so don’t eat all the food in the stadium.”
(Ralph rolls his eyes while Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!”
Trixie’s Mom: “It’s a shame that you Ralph & Ed never had any kids to call your own.”
Ed: “I would make a great father. Watching a son grow up from a little guy. Have him go through high school and when he would graduate from college and be ready to face the world, I would have given him a job with me in the sewer.”
Ralph: “You would give a college graduate a sewer job?”
Ed: “Certainly. The sewer accepts college grads.”
Alice’s Dad: “Lets all get ready to enjoy the game. This will be a great Father’s Day. Too bad that Ralph would not make a good father.”
(Ralph is fuming.)
(During the game, Ralph actually becomes a casual fan of the Red Bulls.)
Ralph: “Boy, this was a great idea that the dads of us had. Hahaha. Why don’t we all pay for your food here. I will get the food.”
Alice: “Ralph, that will be too much.”
Ed: “Let me help out Ralph-ie boy.”
Ralph: “Okay Norton. It’s a shame that me and Norton may never become great fathers like you two. I wish my father was able to come here to enjoy being at Red Bulls Stadium. I just talked to him today.”
Ed: “On my telephone.”
Ralph: “We all will agree that fathers like you two are great and no family would be complete without dads.”
(They all sing a song about dads. After that, the crowd applauds.)
Ralph: “I think this experience made me a Red Bulls fan.”
(Ralph accidentally gets hit in the head with a soccer ball.)
Ralph (yells): “OOOOW! THAT HURTS.”
Alice’s Dad: “Maybe you should be a goalie Ralph. With your size, you would cover the whole goal.”
(Ralph challenges Alice’s Dad to a fight. Everybody tries to calm them down.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. How sweet it is.”
(Crowd cheers.)