I have a friend who smells like pee. He smells really bad and it's gotten gradually worse. I think it's pretty safe to assume that my friend has some bladder issues, but he is in total denial. A few other close friends and some family members tried to gently urge my friend to start wearing adult diapers, but he refuses. He swears he does not have any prostate or bladder issues and continues to blame his smelliness on the poor dog. My friend insists that he smells because his dog piddles on him if he's not let outside right away. I know my friend is lying. He really pissed me off when he left a pee puddle on my couch and tried to blame it on my cat!
So my question is: should I end my friendship with my smelly and delusional friend who is in serious denial? Or should I continue to suffer with someone who smells worse than a public toilet and refuses to rectify the situation?

Are you being serious, or did you post this as a joke to see what type of responses you get? :lol:

In the event you're serious, my suggestion is to be helpful as possible to your friend, he might be embarrassed and that's why he won't admit there's a problem. If he continues to smell and insists there isn't a problem and won't do anything about it, then maybe you should consider ending the friendship because no one wants to be around a person who smells like pee all the time. :lol:

Maybe your friend needs a wake up call. If you say you're ending the friendship unless he fixes the problem, if he values you as a friend then I imagine he'll do something about it.

Are you being serious, or did you post this as a joke to see what type of responses you get? :lol:

Did it seem like I was joking? :crazy:
Why in the world would I make this up? :confused:
I was being totally serious as I am at my wits end which is why I posted this. I was wondering if anyone else had some advice.

Maybe you shouldn't post on here. Maybe he doesn't want you to do that.

It's just going to complicate things. Shows that you two aren't good friends at all

Maybe you shouldn't post on here. Maybe he doesn't want you to do that.

It's just going to complicate things. Shows that you two aren't good friends at all
Maybe I kinda don't care if he sees this and realizes it's about him as this would be a wake up call.

Did it seem like I was joking? :crazy:
Why in the world would I make this up? :confused:
I was being totally serious as I am at my wits end which is why I posted this. I was wondering if anyone else had some advice.

I gave you good advice, but I'll make sure not to waste time with you anymore. You aren't a nice person, typical New Yorker, you can go stuff it. :lol: :wave:

Maybe I kinda don't care if he sees this and realizes it's about him as this would be a wake up call.

Still, you shouldn't post things like this on here about other people.

Still, you shouldn't post things like this on here about other people.

It's not like she gave out his name & address. :rolleyes:

So my question is: should I end my friendship with my smelly and delusional friend who is in serious denial? Or should I continue to suffer with someone who smells worse than a public toilet and refuses to rectify the situation?

I wouldn't end the friendship, but I would bring it up the next time you smell urine around him. Providing you two are alone, that is. I wouldn't bring other people in on this. You also might not want to have him over at your house until he gets things under control. If he asks why, be truthful.

I have a friend who smells like pee. He smells really bad and it's gotten gradually worse. I think it's pretty safe to assume that my friend has some bladder issues, but he is in total denial. A few other close friends and some family members tried to gently urge my friend to start wearing adult diapers, but he refuses. He swears he does not have any prostate or bladder issues and continues to blame his smelliness on the poor dog. My friend insists that he smells because his dog piddles on him if he's not let outside right away. I know my friend is lying. He really pissed me off when he left a pee puddle on my couch and tried to blame it on my cat!
So my question is: should I end my friendship with my smelly and delusional friend who is in serious denial? Or should I continue to suffer with someone who smells worse than a public toilet and refuses to rectify the situation?


Wow!!! First off is this an elderly man? This is a more common issue with women, even women not very old but middle age of menopausal age!

I'm hoping your friend isn't having prostate or bladder issues and If he's in denial out of embarrassment it could go too far and be life threatening! If he's a man who isn't very old, it could be prostate, bladder or kidney cancer! If it's an older man, well as I say I haven't heard of this in older men but it's common in middle aged menopausal women and old women!

I would strongly suggest that you talk him into getting medical attention, Not because of the smelling bad issue , but the other reasons I stated!

OK now I'll get down to it, I'll lay my cards on the table here!!! I'm starting menopause and within the last year or so, when I laugh hard or sneeze sometimes I leak urine!!!:( :p Not to the point that I pee myself, but I mean it gets in my underwear and I change the panties and clean myself right away! I have older (girl) friends that go through this too! :(

But if your friend is to the extent that you say and he is in denial, like I said, this is more common with women than men unless he is REALLY old! (My husband has nothing like this going on ,but as you all have read I do a little to some extent ) ! :p The poor guy REALLY might have a medical condition! :(

Wawwie! You can't abandon this guy because he smells bad and he's in denial, he needs to know the medical facts and that he might really be very ill! :( Stand by him and encourage him to seek medical help! ;)

Wawwie! You can't abandon this guy because he smells bad and he's in denial, he needs to know the medical facts and that he might really be very ill! :( Stand by him and encourage him to seek medical help! ;)I do feel bad because I can tell that he must have some kind of medical condition. That's why me, our friends and some of his family members urged him to start wearing incontinence garments and also go to the doctor ASAP for a check-up. But what's so frustrating is that my friend refuses to go to the doctor or do anything to help his bladder issues. It's very difficult for me to watch my friend allow himself to deteriorate. He will not do anything to help himself and it's destructive. I have known him for most of my life. He's only 51 and he's experiencing these medical issues that are only getting worse over time. I just wish he would do something to help himself. I'm beginning to get very angry with him and it makes me not want to be around him. A lot of us (friends and family) feel this way.

I do feel bad because I can tell that he must have some kind of medical condition. That's why me, our friends and some of his family members urged him to start wearing incontinence garments and also go to the doctor ASAP for a check-up. But what's so frustrating is that my friend refuses to go to the doctor or do anything to help his bladder issues. It's very difficult for me to watch my friend allow himself to deteriorate. He will not do anything to help himself and it's destructive. I have known him for most of my life. He's only 51 and he's experiencing these medical issues that are only getting worse over time. I just wish he would do something to help himself. I'm beginning to get very angry with him and it makes me not want to be around him. A lot of us (friends and family) feel this way.

I really sympathize with you wawwie. Maybe he's afraid of what the doctor will find. Poor guy, from what you tell me, he probably knows deep down something is amiss. I wish I had some kind of magic answer, but maybe if a group of concerned friends/relatives who really love him do some type of intervention. I'd Google for some kind of support group for people dealing with loved ones with serious issues. And/Or if you can afford it, maybe talking this out with a therapist specializing in caretaker issues, or a clergy person (if you follow a faith) could help.

I'm just another bozo on the bus, but if it were me, I'd confront him GENTLY. I'd tell him because I love you so much I just can't sit by any more: you need to see a doctor NOW. I have a friend who had problems too, but he went right to a doctor, and in his case it turned out to be an EARLY stage of prostate cancer. But he's doing quite well. The incontinence could be caused by a host of other things too. But he needs to GET HELP. The hard part is you may have to risk him hating you and stop being your friend. But since you seem to be at your wit's end, perhaps this outcome may not be that unnerving for you.

AND I can empathize with his fear. For years my doctor has been nagging me to get a colonoscopy. But I was so terrified of the procedure I kept putting it off. FINALLY my doctor really laid it on the line: GET THIS DONE NOW (Iwas 59) and he called the receptionist and had her make an sppointment. I had to talk to 25-30 people to get up the courage to do it. And you know what? It turned out to be no big deal, and I felt like such a weenie afterwards. And they found a polyp; had I kept putting it off that polyp could have turned cancerous.

Good luck wawwie. All you can do is ask for professional guidance. The bottom line is that old adage "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink" though sometimes you have to take his head and give it a big fat dunk into the water to get the message across.

I do feel bad because I can tell that he must have some kind of medical condition. That's why me, our friends and some of his family members urged him to start wearing incontinence garments and also go to the doctor ASAP for a check-up. But what's so frustrating is that my friend refuses to go to the doctor or do anything to help his bladder issues. It's very difficult for me to watch my friend allow himself to deteriorate. He will not do anything to help himself and it's destructive. I have known him for most of my life. He's only 51 and he's experiencing these medical issues that are only getting worse over time. I just wish he would do something to help himself. I'm beginning to get very angry with him and it makes me not want to be around him. A lot of us (friends and family) feel this way.


Oh Jeez! 51 years old only! That is not at all normal for a man that age, esp. to the extent you are saying. Something is really wrong, if he's at the stage where he smells from it and it's getting on the couch and all! Wow! :(

He really is in denial, and I'm surprised he is putting up with it! And wondering if he has any pain? If not now, he might soon. Well maybe than he will do something about it and see a doctor. Hoping it won't be too late! :(

All I know that if I was that guy...I would see a doctor right away!

My grandfather took water pills in his autumn years (late 70's-early 80's) and sometimes he'd smell like urine...it wasn't strong, but he refused to wear Depends. I know if it was me, I'd freak-out!

I know I should see a doctor as well because sometimes I get not heartburn, but a salivary problem by my neck...it might be my tonsils.

Yikes. Since he doesn't seem like he wants help or will change, I personally would probably start hanging out with him less and less until the friendship is basically nonexistent. It might sound harsh, but you shouldn't have to put up with that.

Yikes. Since he doesn't seem like he wants help or will change, I personally would probably start hanging out with him less and less until the friendship is basically nonexistent. It might sound harsh, but you shouldn't have to put up with that.
I've seriously considered what you are saying. I can't stand watching him destroy himself and allowing himself to deteriorate. I now never go to his house anymore. I also don't want my girls around him anymore either.
It would be a completely different story if he was seeking medical attention and helping himself with his incontinence issues, but his lack of self respect has been going on for a long time now and it's disgusting and angering me.

This sounds serious. Your friend maybe suffering from Uremia which is a dangerous condition that occurs when the kidneys no longer filter properly. It's likely to occur when a person is in the final stage of chronic kidney disease.

An example of this is years ago I read a biography of actress Jean Harlow who had a serious case of Uremia. She was in the care of her mother who was a Christian Scientist who didn't believe in doctors. Her very close friend , actor William Powell would visit her and said that even her breath smelled of urine.
She died at age 26 without medical care.:( This is a picture of Jean and her Mother in 1934. Such a sad story:(

This sounds serious. Your friend maybe suffering from Uremia which is a dangerous condition that occurs when the kidneys no longer filter properly. It's likely to occur when a person is in the final stage of chronic kidney disease.

An example of this is years ago I read a biography of actress Jean Harlow who had a serious case of Uremia. She was in the care of her mother who was a Christian Scientist who didn't believe in doctors. Her very close friend , actor William Powell would visit her and said that even her breath smelled of urine.
She died at age 26 without medical care.:( This is a picture of Jean and her Mother in 1934. Such a sad story:(

OMG!!! WOW!!! JEEZ!!! That gave me chills! Poor Jean! That is horrible!!! :(

Wawwie, if this is the case, it's really serious!! I'm thinking maybe you guys should call social services or something like that on this man! Like for instance in the case of a severely mentally ill person that needed to be committed. Maybe there is some way a very severely physically ill person can be forced to get to a hospital for medical attention! I read some where that severe kidney failure can start to affect a person's brain, maybe this is what is already going on with this man, why he is in so much denial! :(

My God, my prayers to this person, like I said before hope it isn't too late or he is really going to suffer before he eventually dies!! :(

OMG!!! WOW!!! JEEZ!!! That gave me chills! Poor Jean! That is horrible!!! :(

Wawwie, if this is the case, it's really serious!! I'm thinking maybe you guys should call social services or something like that on this man! Like for instance in the case of a severely mentally ill person that needed to be committed. Maybe there is some way a very severely physically ill person can be forced to get to a hospital for medical attention! I read some where that severe kidney failure can start to affect a person's brain, maybe this is what is already going on with this man, why he is in so much denial! :(

My God, my prayers to this person, like I said before hope it isn't too late or he is really going to suffer before he eventually dies!! :(
There is talk about his two sons having him declared incompetent, but his sons are only 19 and 22. Still, they are his next of kin and they are willing to do whatever it takes. They're very concerned.

There is talk about his two sons having him declared incompetent, but his sons are only 19 and 22. Still, they are his next of kin and they are willing to do whatever it takes. They're very concerned.


Something seriously wrong/bad is happening! The sons really should look into something like social services or where ever it would be necessary to contact for an incompetent person!


God bless you for being concerned ,and to his sons, and other family and friends and of course him! Wishing all the best!

You aren't a nice person, typical New Yorker, you can go stuff it. :lol: :wave:
You're not too judgmental, crude or tactless.... :rolleyes:

I do feel bad because I can tell that he must have some kind of medical condition. That's why me, our friends and some of his family members urged him to start wearing incontinence garments and also go to the doctor ASAP for a check-up. But what's so frustrating is that my friend refuses to go to the doctor or do anything to help his bladder issues. It's very difficult for me to watch my friend allow himself to deteriorate. He will not do anything to help himself and it's destructive. I have known him for most of my life. He's only 51 and he's experiencing these medical issues that are only getting worse over time. I just wish he would do something to help himself. I'm beginning to get very angry with him and it makes me not want to be around him. A lot of us (friends and family) feel this way.
Of course you all feel that way. You're only human. I don't know, maybe I'm just not as nice as those who are saying to stick by your friend. All bets are off once someone leaves a pee piddle on my sofa. No, not really, but things would have to change.

For whatever reason, your friend won't help himself, and that's very sad. With that said, things would have to change. It might be a phone only relationship for a while. If he did visit, he'd be offered a lawn chair, and paper plates and cups. Could be that your friend could use some tough love. If loved ones start to keep their distance, he might feel lonely enough to get the help he needs. Good luck. :)

I have a friend who smells like pee. He smells really bad and it's gotten gradually worse. I think it's pretty safe to assume that my friend has some bladder issues, but he is in total denial. A few other close friends and some family members tried to gently urge my friend to start wearing adult diapers, but he refuses. He swears he does not have any prostate or bladder issues and continues to blame his smelliness on the poor dog. My friend insists that he smells because his dog piddles on him if he's not let outside right away. I know my friend is lying. He really pissed me off when he left a pee puddle on my couch and tried to blame it on my cat!
So my question is: should I end my friendship with my smelly and delusional friend who is in serious denial? Or should I continue to suffer with someone who smells worse than a public toilet and refuses to rectify the situation?


Wow! Is your friend married? If so, what does his wife say?

Still, you shouldn't post things like this on here about other people.

Well, she's not 16 years old and this is obviously revenge for her saying you shouldn't have posted what you posted about your friend weeks ago. Not the same situation at all.