Frank Gannucci
03-24-2016, 07:08 AM
A Honeymooners Easter:
(Ralph & Ed are in the Kramden apartment. They are coloring Easter eggs.)
Ralph: “Boy, this was a great idea I had Norton. We are going to color
Easter eggs for a contest in which the best looking eggs win us $10,000 each.”
Ed: “I feel like a kid again Ralph. We are going to win.”
Ralph: “Alice was actually thrilled about this.”
Ed: “You know something? We should present our eggs wearing Easter
Bunny costumes.”
Ralph: “That is a good idea.”
Ed: “The only thing is where will we find one big enough for you?”
Ralph: “Oooooh! YOU’RE A RIOT NORTON! A REAL RIOT!”
Ed: “Well, the eggs are almost done.”
Ralph: “Don’t say a word Norton. I’m finishing the last egg. I got it. I got it.”
(Trixie comes in.)
Trixie (scaring Ralph): “Hi Ralph.”
Ed: “Be quiet Trixie. Ralph is just finishing the egg here.”
Ralph: “Look at what you did Trix. I messed up a little bit.”
Trixie: “Sorry Ralph. Where’s Alice?”
Ralph: “She is right in the bedroom.”
Trixie: “Alice, do you have the eggs for the contest?”
Alice (coming out): “I do Trix.”
Ralph (yells): “WHAT?”
Alice: “Ralph, when you told us that you and Ed are entering the coloring Easter eggs contest, we decided to enter.”
Ralph: “You will do nothing of the kind.”
Alice: “Why not?”
Ralph: “Because I don’t want you too. That’s why. You don’t know how to color eggs.”
Alice: “I don’t know how to color eggs? Might I remind you Ralph, last year
when you and I colored eggs, your eggs were terrible while mine were perfect.”
Ed: “That might be because that Ralph took a bite out of his.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!” (to Alice): “All right. Go ahead and enter and not only will we beat you but we think that you two will be laying eggs.”
Alice: “Really?”
Ralph: “Yes. I am going to put my eggs in the bedroom.”
(Ralph goes into the bedroom with the eggs.)
Alice: “Oh Ralph, I’m sorry. I forgot to mop the floor. There is water.”
Ralph (slipping,
yells): “DUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
(Eggs splatter.)
Ed: “Ralph, it looks like YOU got egg all over your face.”
Ralph (coming out, yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(The next scene, the girls are at the contest.)
Alice: “Ralph & Ed, you two look ridiculous with those costumes.”
(Ralph & Ed enter in Easter bunny costumes. The audience laughs.)
Ralph: “Shows you how much you know. We got dressed for the occasion.
It’s time for the unveiling.”
Man (on the mic, yells): “THE WINNER IS…THE GIBSONS”
Ralph (yells): “WHAT? YOUR MOTHER WON?”
Alice’s Mom (on the mic, yells): “HIYA SONNY BOY!! I AM GLAD THAT YOU DIDN’T EAT ALL THE EGGS.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “NORTON, PUT ‘EM UP! PUT ‘EM UP!”
(The boys fight with everyone trying to make peace.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. Happy Easter. The Miami Beach EASTERS are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)
(Ralph & Ed are in the Kramden apartment. They are coloring Easter eggs.)
Ralph: “Boy, this was a great idea I had Norton. We are going to color
Easter eggs for a contest in which the best looking eggs win us $10,000 each.”
Ed: “I feel like a kid again Ralph. We are going to win.”
Ralph: “Alice was actually thrilled about this.”
Ed: “You know something? We should present our eggs wearing Easter
Bunny costumes.”
Ralph: “That is a good idea.”
Ed: “The only thing is where will we find one big enough for you?”
Ralph: “Oooooh! YOU’RE A RIOT NORTON! A REAL RIOT!”
Ed: “Well, the eggs are almost done.”
Ralph: “Don’t say a word Norton. I’m finishing the last egg. I got it. I got it.”
(Trixie comes in.)
Trixie (scaring Ralph): “Hi Ralph.”
Ed: “Be quiet Trixie. Ralph is just finishing the egg here.”
Ralph: “Look at what you did Trix. I messed up a little bit.”
Trixie: “Sorry Ralph. Where’s Alice?”
Ralph: “She is right in the bedroom.”
Trixie: “Alice, do you have the eggs for the contest?”
Alice (coming out): “I do Trix.”
Ralph (yells): “WHAT?”
Alice: “Ralph, when you told us that you and Ed are entering the coloring Easter eggs contest, we decided to enter.”
Ralph: “You will do nothing of the kind.”
Alice: “Why not?”
Ralph: “Because I don’t want you too. That’s why. You don’t know how to color eggs.”
Alice: “I don’t know how to color eggs? Might I remind you Ralph, last year
when you and I colored eggs, your eggs were terrible while mine were perfect.”
Ed: “That might be because that Ralph took a bite out of his.”
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP!” (to Alice): “All right. Go ahead and enter and not only will we beat you but we think that you two will be laying eggs.”
Alice: “Really?”
Ralph: “Yes. I am going to put my eggs in the bedroom.”
(Ralph goes into the bedroom with the eggs.)
Alice: “Oh Ralph, I’m sorry. I forgot to mop the floor. There is water.”
Ralph (slipping,
yells): “DUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
(Eggs splatter.)
Ed: “Ralph, it looks like YOU got egg all over your face.”
Ralph (coming out, yells): “GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”
(The next scene, the girls are at the contest.)
Alice: “Ralph & Ed, you two look ridiculous with those costumes.”
(Ralph & Ed enter in Easter bunny costumes. The audience laughs.)
Ralph: “Shows you how much you know. We got dressed for the occasion.
It’s time for the unveiling.”
Man (on the mic, yells): “THE WINNER IS…THE GIBSONS”
Ralph (yells): “WHAT? YOUR MOTHER WON?”
Alice’s Mom (on the mic, yells): “HIYA SONNY BOY!! I AM GLAD THAT YOU DIDN’T EAT ALL THE EGGS.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “NORTON, PUT ‘EM UP! PUT ‘EM UP!”
(The boys fight with everyone trying to make peace.)
(Jackie walks on stage. Crowd cheers.)
Jackie: “Thank you. Happy Easter. The Miami Beach EASTERS are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”
(Crowd cheers.)