Post quotes and lines from The Addams Family.

(Morticia to Gomez)

Morticia:" I've been yours since that first day you carved my initials in your leg."

Morticia -"Think of Romeo and Juliet."
Gomez - "They died!"
Morticia -"Oh, but what fun they had those last three days."

Gomez (to Morticia): "You see? Our man's a politician of the old school."

Wednesday - "Either that's Grandma-ma or Santa Claus is a woman."
Pugsley - "Either that or Grandma-ma's a man."

Lurch: "You rang?"

Gomez: "Fester, you've never looked better."

Fester: "Why, Gomez! You're the Michelangelo of Halloween pumpkins!"

Digby: "With opportunities like that, I think I'll shoot myself."
Gomez: "That's the way I run all my entities."

Fester: "I taught Lurch everything he knows about cheatin'."

Morticia :

Morticia : I know the effect you have on the opposite sex.
Gomez : Sometimes it frightens ME.
Morticia : I live in constant fear that some woman will steal you away from me.

A Morticia quote:

Morticia: Look at Mr. Addams. He's always developing outside interests.

Gomez: Right now I have the most enviable collection of coroner's reports in the neighborhood.

A Uncle Fester quote:

Wednesday: Either that's Grandmamma or Santa Claus is a woman.

Pugsley: Either that or Grandmama's a man.

Wednesday :

A Morticia line/quote:

Thing, you're a handful

A Morticia quote:

Gomez, last night, you were unhinged

Another Morticia quote/line:

Gomez: TISH. That's French.

Wednesday : [finding Lurch in hiding] Just because we want you to go to The Butlers' Ball? It'll be fun.

A Morticia quote:

Uncle Fester: "...I need them for my correspondent course."
Gomez: "Correspondent course? In what?"
Uncle Fester: "Brain surgery!"

Gomez: "Don't you know art when you see it?"
Uncle Fester: "I know a rock when I see it."

Gomez: "You know Kitty can't STAND the taste of people."

Morticia: Mr. Addams' treatment for Grandmama's back had the whole medical world agog.
Gomez: Agog? Aghast.

Uncle Fester: "If there IS something wrong with me, I hope it's one of those rare tropical diseases. You know, Morticia, something, uh, GLAMOROUS."

Wednesday: Uncle Fester, do you believe in Santa Claus?
Uncle Fester: Well, of course. You kids are talking like children.

A Morticia quote:

Gomez Addams: Lurch! He's been stabbed!
Morticia Frump Addams: Nonsense, darling. That's the way he sings.
Gomez Addams: He'd be better stabbed.

A Morticia quote:

Morticia: Look at Mr. Addams. He's always developing outside interests.

[Trying to convince Lurch to attend the Butlers' Ball]

Wednesday: It'll be fun.

Lurch: I like being miserable.

Wednesday: You might find a nice girl to be miserable with.

"Gomez: I'm quite proud of Mrs. Addams' hothouse. She's raised these plants from tiny weeds."

Morticia: Margaret, about the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez. I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood. Margaret: He coughs up blood? Morticia: Well, not like he used to.

Gomez: [into a telephone] What's the good word?
[inaudible response]
Gomez: Surely you can think of a better word than that...

Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?Wednesday: Yes.Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?Pugsley: Yes.Girl Scout: I'll tell you what- I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?

(Looking for ingredients for a magic spell)

Grandmama: We need the jawbone of an ass.

Fester: Well don't look at me.

Uncle Fester Frump: I wish that doctor could see him now.

Morticia Frump Addams: Doctor?

Uncle Fester Frump: You know, the one that said our family was unbalanced. Gomez has got PLENTY of balance.

Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Dig?
Wednesday Addams: Only graves.
Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Oh, you break me up, sawed-off.

[to Gomez, watching Pugsley sleep]

Morticia: It's so sweet. He looks just like a little entrée.

[Sam looks over Wednesday's little grave markers of famous people and characters who've died by beheading]
Sam Picasso: Little Red Riding Hood - 'she' didn't die.
Wednesday Addams: The way 'we' play it she does.

Gomez: "Such sweep. Such power. Such majesty!"

Morticia: "In a few days, she'll be as bright and chipper as a bat."

Pugsley: "You know women; once they've made up their minds..."

Pugsley: "You mean the fuzz?"
Morticia: "What is 'the fuzz'?"
Pugsley: "The bulls."

Sgt. Haley: "Right next to a cemetery?"
Morticia: "Yes. We have a lovely view of it."

Uncle Fester: "You know, I wouldn't mind joining the police if it wasn't for those silly little uniforms."

Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: You kids really live in this crumb box?
Wednesday Addams: We like it. It' so nice and eerie.

Lurch & Wednesday:

Gomez: Fixed her? But that doll doesn't have a head!
Wednesday: It's Marie Antoinette!

Morticia:

Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Dig?
Wednesday Addams: Only graves.
Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Oh, you break me up, sawed-off.

Uncle Fester:

Morticia: Black is such a happy color.

Pugsley & Wednesday:

Gomez: Tish! You know how wild I get when you speak French!

Gomez & Uncle Fester:

Gomez : [into a telephone] What's the good word?

[inaudible response]

Gomez : Surely you can think of a better word than that...

Wednesday:

Gomez : Somebody... down there... likes me!

Gomez's catchphrases: "Cara Mia."

"Capital idea."

Morticia's catchphrase: "Bubbeleh."

Lurch's catchphrase: "You rang?"

Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Dig?
Wednesday Addams: Only graves.
Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Oh, you break me up, sawed-off.

(First line of the series.)
Mr. Hilliard: (to mailman)"Is that where the Addams family lives?"

Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: You kids really live in this crumb box?
Wednesday Addams: We like it. It' so nice and eerie.

(Last lines of the series.)
Morticia: "I must write to her immediately. I have a lovely idea for her next record."
Gomez: "What, cara mia?"
Morticia: "The Sextet from Lucia."

Gomez: "...she's raised these plants from tiny weeds."

Gomez: "Even over the phone, breeding will tell. Like father, like son."

Sam Picasso: Little Red Riding Hood - 'she' didn't die.
Wednesday Addams: The way 'we' play it she does.

Gomez: "...but my guardian spirit was lookin' after me. (pointing downward)Somebody down there likes me."
Morticia: "Somebody up here likes you, too."

Uncle Fester [brandishing a rifle after a guest makes an insult]: Let me shoot him in the back!

Gomez: "He's already the biggest thing in the butler business."

Gomez: "Great shades of Satan."

Grandmama: "Insult me some more."

Gomez: "I've heard of rock candy, but rock cake?"

Gomez: Fixed her? But that doll doesn't have a head!
Wednesday: It's Marie Antoinette!

Morticia: "What an interesting couple."
Gomez: "They're almost an interesting quartet."

Gomez: "Looks like a museum that's been condemned."

Gomez: "There's a touch of madness around here."

Pugsley: "Father's flipped!"

Morticia: "Humans give her terrible heartburn."

Grandmama Addams: Fester, You're not cheating.
Uncle Fester: Sorry.

Rockland Cartwright II: "Who's the manager of this broken down funhouse?"

Rockland Cartwright II: "I did not come here to play games!"

Unncle Fester: "Go to it, Rock!"

Gomez: "You don't have very musical molars."

Gomez: "It's always the butler!"

Gomez: "Great shades of Hades."

Gomez: Tish, how long has it been since we've waltzed?
Morticia: Oh, Gomez......hours.

Grandmama: "Maybe Morticia's maneating plant will get her."
Uncle Fester: "You're a dreamer."

Grandmama: "It takes a woman! to handle a woman."

Mother Lurch: "Pride is no object when you demand quality."

Gomez: "Quite a combination: inside all heart, outside all hair."

Gomez: "Perhaps his cup of tea is failure."

Gomez: "I hope a passing eagle doesn't snatch him up."

Morticia: "Very colorful. Both his work, and he."

Morticia: "No, darling, one genius in the family is enough."

Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Dig?
Wednesday Addams: Only graves.
Rockland 'Rocky' Cartwright III: Oh, you break me up, sawed-off.

Gomez: "By George, this house is a veritable! cesspool of talent."

Morticia: Mr. Addams' treatment for Grandmama's back had the whole medical world agog.
Gomez: Agog? Aghast.

Gomez: "Bridsegroom, yes. Lucky, no."

Ophelia: "Weeds are my favorite flowers."

Grandmama: "Oh, I haven't been this excited since Aunt trivia's funeral."

Gomez: "My favorite Frump."

Grandmama Addams: Fester, You're not cheating!
Uncle Fester: Sorry.

Grandmama: "The wife is always the last to know."

Grandmama: "That didn't stop me."
Uncle Fester: "You're a real Addams."

Gomez: "Animal magnetism. You can't top that."

Sam Hilliard: "I'm really unworthy of your support."

Sam: "I'm not going near that... thing."

Morticia: "That's the look that used to get the girls."

Gomez: "That's breeding."

Gomez: "Behavior like that starts with the parents."

Gomez: "You'll have to challenge him to a duel."
Uncle Fester: "No. I'd rather shoot him in the back."

Morticia: "Everything in our house is real, Mr. Pomeroy."

Grand-mama: Weddings are such fun.

Morticia: Yes, especially when everyone cries.

Grandmama: "Argue with the ball."

Morticia: Dear Mr. Hollister... We should send him something. I have it! Some of Mama's candied porcupine.
Gomez: Ah, the simple things are the best.

Gomez: "I like a man who isn't too proud to be grateful."

Gomez: "Ahhh. The simple things are the best."

Gomez: We must not indulge fear. I remember my Cousin Blob, deathly afraid of ghosts.
Morticia: Ghosts?
Gomez: Now he's one himself.
Morticia: Ah yes... I hear him on dark, stormy nights.
Gomez: Oh darling, those strange sounds from the attic aren't Cousin Blob.
Morticia: No?
Gomez: They're Grandma Squint. You can tell from her superb cackle.
Morticia: Ah yes... like music to my ears.

Morticia:

Gomez: "I don't know the melody but I loove the words."

Morticia: "Yes, the words are the best part."

Gomez: "I knew it. It's her kind of place."

Morticia: (sarcastically)"Fine gratitude."

Gomez: "Iii like a man who's not too proud to be grateful."

Melancholia: [explaining the reason for her surprise visit] It's Fred, my intended.
Morticia: He jilted you.
Melancholia: Well, I can't really say. He just took back his ring, sold his farm and joined the Foreign Legion.
Gomez: That is kind of indefinite.

Gomez: "Leonardo DaVinci NEVER did anything like that."

Uncle Fester: [back from his first day as an insurance salesman] I tried. I knocked on every door in my territory. I was dynamic. I was personable, charming, AND magnetic but it wasn't any use. Oh, my career is ruined. I'm all washed up.
[Fester plods off to his room]
Gomez: I have a feeling all's not well with Fester.
Morticia: It's hard to tell. He puts up such a brave front.

Gomez: "I doubt it. Itt likes to climb through the window."

(Cousin Itt tells a joke.)
Gomez: "I didn't get the last line."
Morticia: "And then Marie Antoinette says, 'Operator, I've been cut off.'"
Gomez: "You know, it's not the joke, though, it's the way he tells it."

Morticia: "Cousin Itt is quite a prize."

Gomez: "Good thing I drew that check on the wrong bank."

Morticia: (to Gomez)"Did you sleep well?"
Gomez: "I had the funniest nightmare."
Morticia: "You do look nice and rested."

Gomez: Darling, there's something I was hoping I didn't have to tell you. The other afternoon, I saw Pugsley playing with a bat.
Morticia: A bat? Oh, well that's more like our boy.
Gomez: A baseball bat. It's a game, played outdoors... in the sun.