There once was a man named Tim McClure
I couldn't understand all the forum allure
As a killer, he was ferocious
His wardrobe was atrocious
Of these things, I am quite sure.

There's a place called Victorio Peak
Where legends add to it's mystique
If you believe what you're told,
It contains lots of gold
And many have gone there to seek.

This is sooo wrong, but I came up with this on the drive home from work...

There was once a man named Fred
whose friend, Glen, shot him in the head.
Glen was convicted of the crime
and sentenced to serve time
even though he was innocent, or so he said.

I must admit I've thought of a few of these over the years although none I'm willing to share here. It's just a recipe for disaster given the nature of most of the cases profiled on the show combined with the fact that this forum is visible enough that we've had the loved one's of those profiled show up here from time to time.

We could do some with the more sillier segments of the show or just about the show in general:

There's a family that found a rock,
They said "it's magic" but people thought it a crock.
On Unsolved Mysteries they went
A lot of time on it was spent
And after all these years we still like to mock.

We love to watch Unsolved Mysteries that's a fact
It's so fun to reminisce and look back
At the funny 80's hair and clothes
Big glasses that would cover the nose
But in the end we still all miss Robert Stack.

Atlanta was the home of a big fat spider.
She went by the name of Bonnie Wilder.
They all thought she was funny,
Til she stole all the money,
And no one on Earth could find her.

There once was a man named Tim McClure.
Who's mother was the victim of murder.
I'm sure you're all with me,
in saying he's guilty,
of having bad hair that's for sure.

There once was a man named DB Cooper.
Who jumped out of a plane like a paratrooper.
He's much braver than me,
Even the thought of this scheme,
makes me so nervous I have to run to the pooper.

I must admit I've thought of a few of these over the years although none I'm willing to share here. It's just a recipe for disaster given the nature of most of the cases profiled on the show combined with the fact that this forum is visible enough that we've had the loved one's of those profiled show up here from time to time.

but starting a thread about how you're going as Pizza Bandits for Halloween, that's perfectly tasteful. :rolleyes:

but starting a thread about how you're going as Pizza Bandits for Halloween, that's perfectly tasteful. :rolleyes:

Wiseguy don't take it so personal. I know you didn't mean any harm. In fact I actually thought the idea was quite creative. Satire though has a way of coming back to bite people in my opinion.

There once was this really stupid segment,
That belief has been universally regnant,
It's got to be virility,
Not statues of fertility,
Because I touched one and never got pregnant.

The rain was described as a goo
Folks thought they'd come down with the flu
Dogs and cats died,
when they ventured outside
To this day they haven't a clue.

There once was a sound called a hum
Heard by many yet not by some
For those in it's range it was not a lot of fun
Less for us who had to endure the segment itself
Which just like Cokeville was much overrun

Brushy Bill Roberts was his name
but Billy The Kid was his claim
Folks say that he lied,
even after he died
That all he was after was fame.

There once was a host named Stack
Who had a quite loyal fan pack
When they redid the show
We all said "These blow"
And gave poor Farina such flak.

There were some UM segments that were great,
There were others that I'd say I do hate,
But I think we'll agree,
To the highest degree,
We'd do anything to hear Stack say "update".

These are great.

There once was a man named Ed
Who swore he saw crafts overhead
A model was found,
He looked like a clown
But hey, that's what a naysayer says.

A man and his sixteen year-old bride
They saw ghosts and wanted to hide.
Some thought it was silly
A real scam and dilly
There probably wasn't anything inside.

Have you heard about Resurrection Mary?
When you see her it's real spooky scary.
She's dressed all in white
She'll give you a fright
So stay away from the local cemetery!

There's an Ohio town called Circleville
And a phantom is giving its citizens a thrill.
He or she writes creepy letters
It hasn't gotten much better
The mystery hasn't been solved still.

One day a polaroid picture was found,
It featured 2 kids who were bound,
Some say there's fear in the eyes,
But to me, no surprise,
I think it was just kids fooling around.

These are fantastic, all!

http://media.tumblr.com/e816bb617582501d8c54a80a61de6b7a/tumblr_myg8iqcNSi1sfei54o2_500.gif

Thanks for the laughs. :lol:

Adoptees knew not what to do
Their sealed records gave them no clue
They asked Unsolved Mysteries
To learn of their histories
Someone has the answer, do you?

These are so good! I was gonna request that someone write one on Resurrection Mary. Thanks UMFaninMD, you read my mind! :D

These are so good! I was gonna request that someone write one on Resurrection Mary. Thanks UMFaninMD, you read my mind! :D


Resurrection Mary was her name
A ghost that hitchhiked her way into fame
When the evening is late,
by the cemetery gate
South of Chicago is home to this dame.


I had to read up on this story, I can come up with a better one.

These are so good! I was gonna request that someone write one on Resurrection Mary. Thanks UMFaninMD, you read my mind! :D
You're welcome. :)

A boy said he could make it rain
Nobody, even he, couldn't explain.
Some people don't believe
They think he's out to deceive
This boy who can form water with his brain.

There was a man, his wife, and his kids
They bought an old wooden bunk bed.
When they brought it home
Demons and spirits started to roam
They trashed the bed and they ran like mad.

There once was a network called Spike
that broadcast the show we all like.
But the episodes were altered
without Stack, they faltered.
In the end, we told the network to take a hike.

There once was a car called The Dale
Its potential a very tall tale
Adding cross-dressing crazy
To engineering that's lazy
What you get are three wheels of fail

Adapted from a really old song some of you might be familiar with.

There was once was a woman named Kelly Finnegan
She didn't like whiskers on his chinnegan
She took off
with all his loot again
And then Kelly Finnegan begin again again

There once was a man named Paul
Who protected his shed with great gall
He didn't intentionally hurt his missing spouse
He just liked a clean house
That Pollis, misunderstood by all.

They once hit the wrong Mary.
Her end was brought without tarry.
The theories abound.
With no suspects around.
This case is quite scary.

Sharon Kinne was no Southern Belle
In Mexico she escaped from her prison cell
She has never been caught
Although I'm sure we all thought
That they don't serve margaritas in hell.

Ugh..........

Of course, it's an obvious fact.
We wish Robert Stack could come back.
Even his ghost
would be a good host.
And have what the other hosts lack.

There once was a man named Liz
at building janky cars was a whiz.

But the Dale was not to be
and that's okay by me
because that car was ug-a-lee.