Vinnie (to mummy): "Did you get the number of the truck that hit you?"

Washington: "Hi There!"

Washington singing: "I don't care what the white mon say - Santa Claus is a blackman"

Vinnie: "My father to my mother: 'Now you hit him, Margie, my arm is tired.'"

Kotter -"Hey Julie, did I ever tell you about my.........

(Vinnie B. answering a question in class)

Barbarino - "That thing about the french fry phantom."
Kotter - "You mean the Irish Potato Famine?"

Mr. Welles: "In your socks with a pound of lox."

Judy: "Mr. Woodman, I don't wanna be on the same stage as a Sweathog. I don't even wanna be on the same planet as a Sweathog."

Mr. Woodman: "The voice of a wounded goat."

Judy: "I'd rather be stuck in a shopping cart and run through a car wash." Arnold: "You know, Judy,..."

Judy: "And I'm supposed to be the fairest flower in all of France." Epstein: "Oh yeah? Well you look more like ragweed to me, honey."

Epstein: "Hey, who does she think she is, Tantrum O'Neal?"

Freddie: "We Sweathogs. It's our job."

Arnold: "Mr. Kotter. I'm tired of being pushed aside." Gabe: "I understand, Arnold. But there are other ways to prove you're a man besides fighting a big schtarker like Carvelli."

Arnold: "Mr. Kotter, sometimes a man has to stand up for himself, even though he knows he's going to land flat on his back. Haven't you ever felt like that?"

Mr. Woodman - "Kotter, these kids couldn't pass a blood test without cheating."

Barbarino - "Love means never having to hear I'm pregnant."

Washington: "Hi There!"

Washington singing: "I don't care what the white mon say - Santa Claus is a blackman"
These two are my favorites, but here are other's!

(While sweat hogs are acting like junkies with Vinnie looking at a basketball to fool Freddie)
Vinnie: "No wonder he die, he ain't got no mouth, gimme drugs"!

Epstein: "Hey Mr. Kotter, I got a note!

Mr. Woodman (on phone): "If you don't cough up some money for lab animals, the students are gonna start dissecting each other. (hangs up.) That's not a bad idea."

Murray (stands up): "Yeah. He say it high-class rotgut."

Epstein (to Miss Tremaine): "Are you accusin' Arnold Horsack of not havin' a personality?"

Arnold (drunk): "The only real problem I've got is findin' a new set of friends."

Barbarino - ''I'M so confussed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29BoqCMRBFk

Mr. Woodman: "There's only one system here, you're free to do as you're told."

Vinnie: "I'm gonna put my head in Epstein's locker." Arnold: "Okay but hold your breath it's murder in there."

Julie (to Mr. Woodman): "You have another appointment." Mr. Woodman: "I don't care; I have low blood sugar. If I don't eat on time I get grumpy."

Freddie: "We're gonna take all this money, we're gonna put it in the bank and we're all gonna be typhoons."

Kotter: "Uh, that's tycoons."

Freddie: "No typhoons, cause at the end of the year we're gonna blow it."

Freddie: "We're gonna take all this money, we're gonna put it in the bank and we're all gonna be typhoons."

Kotter: "Uh, that's tycoons."

Freddie: "No typhoons, cause at the end of the year we're gonna blow it."
LMAO! I remember this one now and it was hilarious when he said it!

Vinnie: "Up your nose, with a garden hose."

Freddy (to diner owner): "So, up your gizzard with a rubber lizard."

Mr. Gore and Mr. Woodman quotes:

Mr. Woodman quote:

Up your grating with the Nielsen Rating.

A Mr. Woodman quote:

One of my favorite lines is from Horshack who claims that Horshack "is a very old and respected name. It means 'The cattle are dying.'"

One of my favorite lines is from Horshack who claims that Horshack "is a very old and respected name. It means 'The cattle are dying.'"


You would think it meant some kind of equine dwelling but what do I know?

A Mr. Kotter and Arnold quote:

Arnold: "And it takes a heap of learnin' to make a boy a man."

Mr. Woodman: "Teaching this class is like root canal work."

Mr. Hansen: "Boy, they sure grow them different out here."

Gabe: "I guess that's what the miracle of the season's all about."

A Mr. Woodman quote:

Woodman: [about Kotter and the Sweathogs] They do a lot of pretending in that class. They pretend to be students; he pretends to be a teacher.

A Vinnie quote:

Gabe: "I haven't seen that many teeth since Jaws."

Vinnie: "I make the laws, and --"
Epstein: "I keep the order."

Gabe: "They get annoyed when you threaten their faces."

Mr. Michael Woodman: Kotter, these kids couldn't pass a blood test without cheating.

One classic Horshack quote from the fourth season was when a porno film was smuggled into school and he said "An X-rated movie? Where they really show the Xs?

Gabe Kotter: You know what I'm gonna do: I'm going to put a window over there.

[points to the door]

Gabe Kotter: And a door over there.

[points to the window]

Gabe Kotter: So then you'll come in through the door!

Julie: "Nothing ever changes in rural Nebraska."

Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington: Hey, Mr. Kot-tair!

Mr. Woodman: "...no decent girl would be caught dead with a Sweathog."
Julie: "What does that make me? I married one."
Mr. Woodman: "You're different; you're from Nebraska. You were brought up with hogs."

Carvelli: "...this lunch has proven to be a most educational experience."
Epstein: "Sure. Never buy nothin' from a Barbarino."

Gabe: "That act is never gonna work in this school."

Vincent 'Vinnie' Barbarino: Up your nose with a rubber hose!

Carvelli: "How about that? A joke from the human Brillo pad."

Arnold: (to Carvelli) "So, why'd you move? Vigilantes?"

Arnold Horshack: [frequent introduction] Hellooohhhh. How are ya? I am Arnold HorshAAAAAck.

Freddie: "...they found a way of bottlin' Epstein's locker."

Gabe: "They're larger than life."
Freddie: (to Epstein)"Everybody except Arnold Horshack. He's shorter than life."

Vincent 'Vinnie' Barbarino: [Vincent Barbarino said this, often, to other Sweat-Hogs, whenever someone angered him] Off my case, toilet-face!

Mr. Woodman: "...from California. Out there, they're all Sweathogs; the only difference is a suntan."

Vincent 'Vinnie' Barbarino: [brainstorming ideas to raise money to save their class] We could have a casino night.
Gabe Kotter: Gambling in school? Do you realize the odds are almost 5 to 1 against that happening?
Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington: I'll take that bet.

A Vinnie Barbarino quote:

Arnold Horshack: [gets on Epstein's case about his notes from his mother] Please excuse Juan for being a sheephead. Signed: Epstein's mother's veterinarian.

Vinnie: "I mean, who cares where George Washington slept?"
Freddie: "Probably only Martha. (to Epstein)I think he might have had a thing going on the side with Betsy Ross."
Arnold: "Ohhh. Betsy Ross. She was a little sew-and-sew."

Gabe Kotter: Did I ever tell you about my Uncle Max?

Epstein "I ain't going to class man, I ain't never goin' to class."
Mr. Kotter: "Where you going then, Epstein?"
Epstein: "I don't know, maybe into the religious life."
Mr. Kotter: "Ah Brother Epstein huh? I can see the headlines, Puerto Rican Jew enters monastery, becomes the first "Schla-Monk"."

https://cardboardicons.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/tt23kotter.jpg

Mr. Kotter - "Do I look like Miss Fishbeck, the art teacher?"
Epstein - "Only around the moustache."

http://www.klisia.net/blog/uploaded_images/Kotter-719734.bmp

Bambi the transfer student - "Didn't we live together in another life?"
Epstein - "Oh I would have remembered that!"
Bambi - "Oh he's magic!"
Mr. Kotter - "Yeah maybe one day he'll disappear."

https://78.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lnvqazXBMM1qeo9kno1_500.jpg

Epstein: (on phone)"Hello; room service? Send up a room."

Mr. Kotter: "What's your first name?"
Bambi: "It's Bambi, but my friends call me Sunshine."
Freddie: "Well, uh let the Sunshine in, darlin'!!!"

Gabe Kotter: You know what I'm gonna do: I'm going to put a window over there.
[points to the door]

Gabe: "Thank you, drunks in Harry's Bar."

Mr. Michael Woodman: Kotter, these kids couldn't pass a blood test without cheating.

.

Arnold Horshack: [gets on Epstein's case about his "notes from his mother"] "Please excuse Juan for being a sheephead."

Doris: "I can't stand blood."
Freddie: "Me, neither."

Arnold: "...us poor white trash...we just take the third door on the left."

Freddie: "...the South done roooose again."

Julie: "Doris...why don't you float off to class?"

Mr. Woodman: (to Beau)"You were expelled from seven schools?"

Arnold: "How many girls does he need?"
Freddie: "I saw him in the library. He returned one book, and checked out two cheerleaders."

Mary: "That's my problem. I'm average."

"Juan Epstein: Mr. Kotter, I got a note excusing my absenteeism.
Gabe Kotter: [Unfolds note, begins reading] "Dear Mr. Kotter. Please excuse Juan's abs - " Aren't you gonna read along?
[Epstein shakes head no]
Gabe Kotter: "Please excuse Juan's absence. He was home sick with the stomach flu. Sincerely, Mrs. Epstein." Fine. That's okay, Juan. Your excuse is perfectly legitimate.
Juan Epstein: I know. That's the problem. It's the first legitimate excuse I've turned in in 11 years. Me, Juan Epstein, the flim-flam man of Buchanan High School, a legit excuse. What's the world comin' to?"

"Juan Epstein: Mr. Kotter, I got a note excusing my absenteeism.
Gabe Kotter: [Unfolds note, begins reading] "Dear Mr. Kotter. Please excuse Juan's abs - " Aren't you gonna read along?
[Epstein shakes head no]
Gabe Kotter: "Please excuse Juan's absence. He was home sick with the stomach flu. Sincerely, Mrs. Epstein." Fine. That's okay, Juan. Your excuse is perfectly legitimate.
Juan Epstein: I know. That's the problem. It's the first legitimate excuse I've turned in in 11 years. Me, Juan Epstein, the flim-flam man of Buchanan High School, a legit excuse. What's the world comin' to?"

I really like this one!

Vincent 'Vinnie' Barbarino: [brainstorming ideas to raise money to save their class] We could have a casino night.
Gabe Kotter: Gambling in school? Do you realize the odds are almost 5 to 1 against that happening?
Freddie "Boom Boom" Washington: I'll take that bet.

Mr. Woodman: "I mean, I never had any sex education; look how I turned out."

Woman: "I've been married 27 years, don't tell me what's disgusting."

Carvelli: "...this film is so hot, the popcorn will pop itself."

Arnold: "Indeed. It's a veritable comedy of errors."

Julie: "Is that how you want your kids to learn the facts of life?"

Arnold: "Are you sure you want them to see that butterfly?"

Arnold: "I want to find out if the hummingbird and the daisy get married."

Epstein: (to Carvelli) "Yeah, yeah. Your movie was elected to the hall of flames."

Vincent 'Vinnie' Barbarino: Love means never having to hear I'm pregnant.

Freddie to Beau


"In your ear with Rosie Grier":lol:

Kotter: Newspapers mold people's minds.
Horshack: Who wants to make a moldy mind?

(Last line of the series.)
Samson Malone: "As soon as the swelling goes down."

Epstein: Hey, I got an idea, listen to this.

Andy: Mr. Carlson, we have got big trouble.
Mr. Carlson: Uh-oh, Mother's on her way!
Andy: It is not Mama. It is worse than Mama.
Mr. Carlson: Worse? What could be worse than Mama?

Those quotes are in the wrong place, MA. They're from "WKRP in Cincinatti", not
"Welcome Back, Kotter".

Those quotes are in the wrong place, MA. They're from "WKRP in Cincinatti", not
"Welcome Back, Kotter".

Sorry about that Ohio8, but I'll change it.

Mr. Woodman: "Why can't we be more like other schools, and have more drop outs?!"

Mr. Woodman: "Gangsters..."

Arnold: "Never exceeding the maximum speed limit, of course."

Epstein: Hey, I got an idea, listen to this.

Vinnie: "I'm so confused."

Gabe Kotter: You know what I'm gonna do: I'm going to put a window over there.

Gabe Kotter: And a door over there.

Gabe Kotter: So then you'll come in through the door!

Vincent 'Vinnie' Barbarino: [Vincent Barbarino said this, often, to other Sweat-Hogs, whenever someone angered him] Off my case, toilet face!

(First line of the series.)
Julie: (to Gabe)"Get out of bed. Come on."

Gabe: "...which is where I spent four degenerate years as a student."

Gabe: "I want students, real students, not hit men in waiting."

Washington: "Hey, Mr. Kotter, man, y-you should keep your windows locked. There's a whole lot of ghetto trash out and about these days."

Freddie “Boom Boom” Washington: Hey, Mr. Kot-tair!

Gabe: (sarcastically)"Boy, what an honor! In my class. All four Marx Brothers."

Rosalie "Hotsie" Totsie: "I'm pregnant."
Arnold: "Rosalie. I didn't know you went to Camp Feldman."

Rosalie: "You can't plan a family in a '57 Chevy."

Washington: "I believe I'm allowed one phone call."

Rosalie: "It's official. I ain't easy. I'm a lady."

[when Arnold became a cult member]
Arnold Horshack: What is? is. What was? will be. What will be *was*, but will be again.

Horshack: "This from a man whose socks burst into tears every time they pass a laundromat."

Laura Stevens: "Beauty is a gift that requires maintenance."

Gabe: "Laura, what did you do your homework on?"
Horshack: "Herself."

Judy: "Are you kidding? Inside this gorgeous body lives a person!"

Laura: "How? I'm hungry, that's how."

Epstein: "Look at this, no wonder why you're so skinny. Eating all this narrow food."

Horshack: (to Laura) "How do you keep goin' on bean sprouts?"
Washington: "She don't. She faints."

Gabe Kotter:
[after Julie angrily hangs up the telephone] What's the matter, Julie? Who was that?

Julie Kotter:
It was a crank call. I don'y know why kids have to make crank calls. Did you ever do that?

Gabe Kotter:
[Smiling mischievously] Just once. I was about 11. We called up a butcher. We'd say, "Hello, is this the butcher?" He said, "Yes, it is." We said, "Do you have pig's feet?" He said, "I certainly do." I said, "Where do you buy your shoes?"

Mr. Woodman: "Believe me, Kotter, being alive is highly overrated."

Mr. Woodman: "...a wart on the face of life."

Freddie: "That's cause it takes Carvelli and Murray, both, to add up to be one whole person."

Mr. Woodman: (to Gabe)"If you need me, I'll be in the cafeteria, stringing barbed wire."

Murray: "He's havin' an encounter of the fourth kind."

Vinnie: "Hey, guys. Last night I had a close encounter. It was with Delores. But I couldn't get past the first kind."

Arnold: "...he don't believe in life on this planet."

Gabe: "...violence never solved anything."

Arnold: "Hey, Carvelli. May the force be up your nose!"

Julie: "Graffiti doesn't lie."

Arnold: "Doris, do as I say, not as I do."

Judy Horshack: "I have a perfect nose!"
Doris and Arnold: (together)"We know, Judy, we know."

Julie: "Isn't he a wonderful teacher?"

Gabe: "We won!!"

Freddie: "We gotta stop meeting like this."

Vinnie: "I'll see you in church, Mrs. Kotter."

Gabe: "...especially her father, Reverend Totsie."

Rosalie: "Wow. He's just as freaky at home as he is in school."

Vinnie: "What was the question?"

Vinnie: "And I thought I was a fast worker."

Vinnie: "This is my place, and these, these are my people."

Vinnie: "Voted most likely to take a life."

Vinnie: "He talks when I tell him to talk."

Mr. Woodman: "Get bent, Barbarino."

(catchphrases.)

Freddie: "Hi there."

Vinnie: "I'm so confused."

Arnold: "We're being attacked by Lawrence Welk!!!"

Gabe: "... Epstein, the refried matzoh ball king."

Gabe: "Yeah, I got it... But I can't get it off the couch."

Washington: "...art appreciation class."
Gabe: "Wow. I thought it was Be Kind to Trash Week."

Horshack: "It's a combination ash tray and denture cup."

Washington: "...better known as the Vincent Van Gogh of the ghetto."

Horshack: "I think his manager has turned on him."
Gabe: "That's what happens when you don't tip."

Gabe: "That's the first time I've seen an artist's name of a nose."

Mr. Woodman: "What about morality and public decency? We've got to keep the human body out of the schools!"

Gabe: "I mean, Dolores could really fill out a wall."

Jerry Cronkite: "You guys are all way off."

Julie: "On Hannukah, I didn't melt your menorrah, Gabe."

Epstein: "Well, that's why Hannukah's a better holiday, you know?"

Epstein: "We almost got into fisticuffs with Carvelli and his gang."

Carvelli: "He's your teacher? It's a tough school."

Gabe: "Oh, look who it is. Santa Fraud."

Mr. Woodman: "Hey, Barbarino. Up your nose with some mistletoe."

Gabe Kotter: "You know what I'm gonna do: I'm going to put a window over there. And a door over there. So then you'll come in through the door!"