draccers
01-25-2014, 11:25 PM
If they were food, what would they be? Admittedly some of their names are already fit to be tailored for such a thing, so here we go!
Family Platters: A Menu
Harriet = Strawberriet
Carl = A big ol' jelly donut just oozing with jelly, enough to clog your arteries!
Stefan = Muffan, a muffin/suave black guy hybrid. Naturally chocolate flavored. I swear it's nothing racist even though I used the word "naturally."
Rachel = Rachel Brand Crunch. So sweet you'll get sick of it and probably spit the raisins out to the side(not because they're black).
3J = 3J Kraft Cheese Slices. Just like the character on the show, you get sick of it and want to barf.
Little Richie = Little Rich Devil's Food cakes.
Waldo = Waldo Geraldo Echilado the Enchilada. It's south of the border crazy how finger lickin good this man is!
Maxine = Rice. I can just imagine going to the store and seeing Maxine's Rice...................I think.
Eddie = Eddie Spaghetti. Naturally with two big ol' meat balls. That were burned. So now they're black. Sprinkle a little Parmesean to represent the pubes. Just like the real thing, they'll stink like cheese.
Myra = The Mya Gyra. A gyro filled with girlie things and sprayed with edible perfume. Play it like an accordian while you eat.
Urkel = Urkel Hot Dog. Not at liberty to say where the Oscar Meyer is sourced from.
The Lieutenant Murtaugh Burgaugh. Comes with two big onion rings shaped like cuffs. Served by reading you your rights to eat and cuffing you with them.
Grandmother Winslow Meatloaf, a big hunk of meatloaf that just sits there dressed in an edible grandma dress. Optional Fletcher dressing on the side.
Judy Cinnabuns, hot, sticky, smothered in white stuff. Just like the real gal and her buns.
Family Platters: A Menu
Harriet = Strawberriet
Carl = A big ol' jelly donut just oozing with jelly, enough to clog your arteries!
Stefan = Muffan, a muffin/suave black guy hybrid. Naturally chocolate flavored. I swear it's nothing racist even though I used the word "naturally."
Rachel = Rachel Brand Crunch. So sweet you'll get sick of it and probably spit the raisins out to the side(not because they're black).
3J = 3J Kraft Cheese Slices. Just like the character on the show, you get sick of it and want to barf.
Little Richie = Little Rich Devil's Food cakes.
Waldo = Waldo Geraldo Echilado the Enchilada. It's south of the border crazy how finger lickin good this man is!
Maxine = Rice. I can just imagine going to the store and seeing Maxine's Rice...................I think.
Eddie = Eddie Spaghetti. Naturally with two big ol' meat balls. That were burned. So now they're black. Sprinkle a little Parmesean to represent the pubes. Just like the real thing, they'll stink like cheese.
Myra = The Mya Gyra. A gyro filled with girlie things and sprayed with edible perfume. Play it like an accordian while you eat.
Urkel = Urkel Hot Dog. Not at liberty to say where the Oscar Meyer is sourced from.
The Lieutenant Murtaugh Burgaugh. Comes with two big onion rings shaped like cuffs. Served by reading you your rights to eat and cuffing you with them.
Grandmother Winslow Meatloaf, a big hunk of meatloaf that just sits there dressed in an edible grandma dress. Optional Fletcher dressing on the side.
Judy Cinnabuns, hot, sticky, smothered in white stuff. Just like the real gal and her buns.