View Full Version : Newspaper Headlines You Want to See


Chocoholic
02-22-2002, 04:28 PM
Muslim Extremists Realize they are Infidels, Blow Themselves Up!

World Peace Declared!

Britney Spears, Celine Dion, Kathie Lee Gifford, Jennifer Aniston, Rosie o'Donnell, Oprah Winfrey, the Olsen twins, and Whitney Houston Decide to Colonize Mars; Never Communicate with Earth Again!

New York City and Boston to Trade Baseball Teams!

Boston Bruins win Stanley Cup!

September 11th Attacks were Really Just a Cruel Joke; WTC and Pentagon Still Stand!

What do you want to see?

Kay Scarpetta
02-22-2002, 04:53 PM
Originally posted by WingsFan
New York City and Boston to Trade Baseball Teams!

uh heh, KEEP DREAMIN' HUN!

"Mariah Carey stops singing" *blocks ears*

"Nomar Quits" *cackles*

"Since the Sox are so bad, the MLB Association TOOK THEM OUT OF THE ML!!!!!!!" *cackles even more*

"Peace between Northern and Southern Ireland"

"MA. acting Governor Jane 'Not-so-Swift' resigns" *snickers*

Ags2000
02-22-2002, 06:09 PM
Bill Clinton prosecuted for draft dodging.

Mossopp
02-22-2002, 07:29 PM
Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever

"Peace between Northern and Southern Ireland"


I think you'll be waiting a while for that to happen!

Jimbo
02-22-2002, 08:00 PM
Originally posted by Ags2000
Bill Clinton prosecuted for draft dodging.

Amen to that! I always felt sorry for the military personnel who had to stand there and salute that thug each time he descended the steps of Air Force One. It must have turned their stomachs.

dawsongirl
02-22-2002, 11:51 PM
Originally posted by WingsFan
Muslim Extremists Realize they are Infidels, Blow Themselves Up!

World Peace Declared!

Britney Spears, Celine Dion, Kathie Lee Gifford, Jennifer Aniston, Rosie o'Donnell, Oprah Winfrey, the Olsen twins, and Whitney Houston Decide to Colonize Mars; Never Communicate with Earth Again!

September 11th Attacks were Really Just a Cruel Joke; WTC and Pentagon Still Stand!


:rotflmao:

Those are great Kristen! I agree with them- what a good day it would be if they were true.

Here's one for all you Nick-at-Nite "fans" for the entertainment section. ;)

"Nick-at-Nite declares bankruptcy; bad programming and low ratings cited as reason"

Warm & Fuzzy
02-22-2002, 11:55 PM
JO'S THE BOMB WINS THE GOLD MEDAL! :D

BIN LADEN: CAPTURED

McKEON MOVES IN WITH JENNY!

FolFanatic151
02-23-2002, 12:13 AM
BOSTON RED SOX WIN WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All New Network! The Facts of Life - All Day, Every Day!

Pitooey
02-23-2002, 12:53 PM
Definitly..............

Bin Laden Captured

Also.....................

JennyLee stars in a sitcom! LOL:happyface :lol: :happyface :lol: :happyface :lol:

Kay Scarpetta
02-23-2002, 01:21 PM
Originally posted by Mossopp
I think you'll be waiting a while for that to happen!

Yeah I know, I keep dreaming of it but it's nevvvvvvvver gonna happen

Mossopp
02-23-2002, 01:23 PM
Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Yeah I know, I keep dreaming of it but it's nevvvvvvvver gonna happen

Why is it so important to you though? I mean, you don't live anywhere near Ireland. Do you have relatives there or something?

Kay Scarpetta
02-23-2002, 01:32 PM
Originally posted by Mossopp
Why is it so important to you though? I mean, you don't live anywhere near Ireland. Do you have relatives there or something?

Yeah, and my grandmother is from there

ks
02-23-2002, 04:39 PM
Originally posted by dawsongirl

"Nick-at-Nite declares bankruptcy; bad programming and low ratings cited as reason"


I'm all for that one! or...

"KS buys out Nick@Nite and the good shows are finally returned-controversial or not!"

"Atlanta Braves sweep Yankees in the World Series."

"Movie to be made staring those of SitcomsOnline, with TJ as director."

"Ted Turner and George Stinbrenner mysteriously disappear."

"The Division renewed for a twelveth season."

"Carter dumps Susan and says hello to Abby once again."

"Chandra Levy mystery finally solved."

"McKeon comes to Alabama."

"WTC rebuilt as economy is better than ever."

"Bush takes second term in office."

"Gore decides to be the President of Mars where Spears now lives."



:lol: That was fun! I could go on and on...





ks

dawsongirl
02-23-2002, 07:09 PM
Originally posted by ks
"Bush takes second term in office."

"Gore decides to be the President of Mars where Spears now lives."


WooHoo! I Like Those!!! :D

Kay Scarpetta
02-23-2002, 07:18 PM
Originally posted by ks
"Ted Turner and George Stinbrenner mysteriously disappear."


Steinbrenner and Turner are found, along with a dead Joe Kerrigan.

Truth
02-23-2002, 09:23 PM
"Bush in a press confrence finally reveals the truth about Aliens"

Pitooey
02-23-2002, 09:41 PM
The folks on sitcom online get 3 million apiece!

The mystery of Marilyn Monroe's death has been discovered....

JoBenet's killer has been named............

ks
02-23-2002, 11:09 PM
Originally posted by Lisa Whelchel Forever


Steinbrenner and Turner are found, along with a dead Joe Kerrigan.


:lol: :D :lol:






ks

Sean Snow
02-24-2002, 01:43 AM
"ALL OF NICK-AT-NITE'S VERSIONS OF "CHEERS" ARE 'ACCIDENTLY' BURNED...WILL TAKE TEN YEARS TO REPLACE, GIVE OR TAKE A MILLENIUM"

"SEAN COSTARS IN NEW DRAMA: "SHERRY BO PEEP, PRIVATE EYE" WHICH FEATURES THE OTHER SIDE OF LIL BO PEEP. SUZANNE SOMERS AS LIL BO PEEP"

Those are just my dream ones LOL

Ags2000
02-24-2002, 01:55 AM
Originally posted by ks


"Bush takes second term in office."

"Gore decides to be the President of Mars where Spears now lives."


WHOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good Bull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


D
:cheers:

Bootsy Whoosh
02-25-2002, 03:20 AM
Well since everyone has said the exact opposite, I have got to put this out there:

"BUSH LOSES BID FOR RE-ELECTION"

Also....

"Bootsy's friend Mike elected President, Bootsy named new Drug Czar" (he's always babbling about being President and has promised me the job if he gets elected)

"War on Drugs Declared an Unmitigated Failure, Waste of Resources; Brought to End" (see this happens right after I am appointed Drug Czar)

"Peace in the Middle East" (I would go for world peace but let's be honest with ourselves, are 6 billion+ people ever gonna agree on anything?)

"Long Distance Human Space Travel Made Feasible"

"Sufficient Medicine and Doctors Finally Sent to Help Stem the Spread of AIDS in Sub-Sahara Africa"

"Education: Voucher System and Test-Based Funding Eliminated"

and since we all gotta be just a little selfish....

"Bootsy Wins Multi-State Lottery"

Kitt
02-25-2002, 10:50 AM
Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh
Well since everyone has said the exact opposite, I have got to put this out there:

"BUSH LOSES BID FOR RE-ELECTION"

Also....

"Bootsy's friend Mike elected President, Bootsy named new Drug Czar" (he's always babbling about being President and has promised me the job if he gets elected)

"War on Drugs Declared an Unmitigated Failure, Waste of Resources; Brought to End" (see this happens right after I am appointed Drug Czar)

"Peace in the Middle East" (I would go for world peace but let's be honest with ourselves, are 6 billion+ people ever gonna agree on anything?)

"Long Distance Human Space Travel Made Feasible"

"Sufficient Medicine and Doctors Finally Sent to Help Stem the Spread of AIDS in Sub-Sahara Africa"

"Education: Voucher System and Test-Based Funding Eliminated"

and since we all gotta be just a little selfish....

"Bootsy Wins Multi-State Lottery"
I'm jumping for joy on each of those headlines even though I don't know Mike. Only one change for the moment - Bootsy splits lottery with Kitt

vienna waits
02-25-2002, 12:33 PM
The Facts of Life joins Tvland with a month long marathon

Warm & Fuzzy
02-25-2002, 07:22 PM
Originally posted by JWillhight
"Bush in a press confrence finally reveals the truth about Aliens" LOL, Justin!!! :D

http://www.berezin.com/3d/_borders/aliens.jpg

ks
02-25-2002, 09:14 PM
Originally posted by tootieismyfav
The Facts of Life joins Tvland with a month long marathon


Amen to that!





ks

Warm & Fuzzy
02-25-2002, 09:18 PM
Originally posted by tootieismyfav
The Facts of Life joins Tvland with a month long marathon Make that a year! hehe.

And not on TVLand. I don;t have that network. :(

(I know, I know, selfish, eh?)

Max Whittaker
02-25-2002, 10:19 PM
Osama Bin Laden captured;forced to watch playboy tv; blows himself up.


Warp Drive Achieved; New Era in Space Travel begins.

Ralph Nader Wins 2004 election.

All world leaders tired of fighting; citizens agree; World peace finally a fact.

People of Earth work together to usher in a new era in space exploration and cooperative peace.

FolFanatic151
02-25-2002, 10:22 PM
Originally posted by Max Whittaker


Ralph Nader Wins 2004 election.



Heh. He was on Sesame Street once... *singing* Oh, the consumer advocate is a person in your neigborhood, in your neighborhood, he's in you neighborhood! -ahem- Sorry, got a little caught up in the moment...

Max Whittaker
02-25-2002, 10:29 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


Heh. He was on Sesame Street once... *singing* Oh, the consumer advocate is a person in your neigborhood, in your neighborhood, he's in you neighborhood! -ahem- Sorry, got a little caught up in the moment...
:lol:That's not my basis for wanting him in office.

Sitcomwriter
02-26-2002, 03:46 PM
"Melody and Chrissy was underrated and was the greatest thing ever created!"

"Osama Bin Laden to play for White Sox"

"Osama Bin Laden rebuilds WTC Claiming it was his evil twin Amaso Nib Nedan who really ordered terriorists to blow it up!"

"Brad Pitt Dies"

Sitcomwriter
02-26-2002, 04:09 PM
"A network that only airs Friends,Ally Mcbeal and Cheers (The 3 greatest sitcoms EVER CREATED!) launches and it's the only thing Sitcomwriter watches!"

mamamiasweetpeaches
02-26-2002, 05:02 PM
Bin Laden captured...world peace at last........

I also think we have to solve Jon Benets case.....and Nicole Simpsons.....and Chandra Levys.....in that order (I guess).

On my own selfish behalf:FRIENDs realized as over rated and cancelled.

Chocoholic
02-26-2002, 05:14 PM
Originally posted by mamamiasweetpeaches
Bin Laden captured...world peace at last........

I also think we have to solve Jon Benets case.....and Nicole Simpsons.....and Chandra Levys.....in that order (I guess).

On my own selfish behalf:FRIENDs realized as over rated and cancelled.

I second each one of those, especially the one about Friends!!! :lol:

Ewan's My Man
02-26-2002, 05:18 PM
Bin Laden DEAD!!!

SINGING SUPERSTAR LAUREN SELLS 1,000,000,000 THE FIRST DAY CD WAS RELEASED!!!!!

JC CHASEZ MARRIES SOLO ARTIST LAUREN!!!

LAUREN OPENS HER DREAM CAFE' FOR TEENS IN CHICAGO!!!

NANCY McKEON APPEARS AT LAUREN's HOUSE!!!

SOLO ARTIST LAUREN IS NOW A SFPD INSPECTOR!!!!

POP STAR PINK APPEARS AT LAUREN's HOUSE!!!

LAUREN IS 10 TIMES RICHER THEN BILL GATES!!!

LIZZIE MARIE's NEW MOVIE IS THE #1 MOVIE THIS YEAR!!! COULD AN OSCAR BE IN STORE?!?!

LIZZIE MARIE WINS AN OSCAR!!!

THE DIVISION HAS A MARATHON SHOWING ALL EPISODES!!!

LIZZIE MARIE FINALLY MEETS CHARLOTTE RAE!!!

LAUREN WINS A GRAMMY!!!

Ok...ya think I m vain enough?!?! LOL!!!

FolFanatic151
02-26-2002, 05:22 PM
Originally posted by Max Whittaker

:lol:That's not my basis for wanting him in office.

Well, what other reason is there? LOL Hm, do you think Big Bird could become president? :lol:

vienna waits
02-26-2002, 07:25 PM
Originally posted by Jo's the bomb
Make that a year! hehe.

And not on TVLand. I don;t have that network. :(

(I know, I know, selfish, eh?)

lol I forgot the other headline...

TVland available for all cable or satellite subscribers.

Max Whittaker
02-26-2002, 10:24 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


Well, what other reason is there? LOL Hm, do you think Big Bird could become president? :lol: :lol:Now theres an idea! Big Bird for President!

Liza
02-26-2002, 11:23 PM
Prince William to marry Michigan Girl! (hey, I can dream!)

FolFanatic151
03-03-2002, 01:56 PM
Originally posted by Max Whittaker
:lol:Now theres an idea! Big Bird for President!

:lol: Yay! Now, who should be his running mate? Snuffy? Oscar? Hm, maybe Mr. Rogers?

Ewan's My Man
03-04-2002, 02:51 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


:lol: Yay! Now, who should be his running mate? Snuffy? Oscar? Hm, maybe Mr. Rogers?

:rotflmao:

Cokies
03-04-2002, 08:40 PM
Originally posted by Bootsy Whoosh
Well since everyone has said the exact opposite, I have got to put this out there:

"BUSH LOSES BID FOR RE-ELECTION"


"Education: Voucher System and Test-Based Funding Eliminated"




I couldn't agree with those two more...

Max Whittaker
03-04-2002, 10:33 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


:lol: Yay! Now, who should be his running mate? Snuffy? Oscar? Hm, maybe Mr. Rogers?
ELMO!

Swimfan85
03-05-2002, 08:28 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151
BOSTON RED SOX WIN WORLD SERIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All New Network! The Facts of Life - All Day, Every Day!


i could go for those or...SHEA HILLENBRAND REMARRYS ME!!!!!!!!!!!

FolFanatic151
03-09-2002, 04:56 PM
Originally posted by Max Whittaker

ELMO!

LOL! :lol: Wait, no not Elmo...I've been a little bitter about him ever since he dropped Telly for Zoe. I mean, Elmo and Telly always used to be best friends! And then Zoe comes along, and Elmo drops Telly like a hot potato! What's up with that?. <sigh>

FolFanatic151
03-09-2002, 04:59 PM
Originally posted by hockeybabe528



i could go for those or...SHEA HILLENBRAND REMARRYS ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem...she means ME. LOL Yeah, that would be a good one.

Max Whittaker
03-09-2002, 06:55 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


LOL! :lol: Wait, no not Elmo...I've been a little bitter about him ever since he dropped Telly for Zoe. I mean, Elmo and Telly always used to be best friends! And then Zoe comes along, and Elmo drops Telly like a hot potato! What's up with that?. <sigh>

Don't worry, you'll hardly see Elmo if he were the Vice President because he'd be hiding in a bunker half the time!

MJFfan
03-09-2002, 07:16 PM
"Michael J. Fox converted to Catholicism"
"Bin Laden found"
"Hilary Clinton Steps out of Politics completely"

XoVanillaRain90oX
03-10-2002, 06:45 PM
Osama Bin Laden: Dead

Lisa T: Youngest person in history to bowl a 300 ;)

McKeon Moves To New York

:)!!

FolFanatic151
03-10-2002, 10:58 PM
Originally posted by Max Whittaker


Don't worry, you'll hardly see Elmo if he were the Vice President because he'd be hiding in a bunker half the time!

LOL :rotflmao: But still... Well, maybe we could get some of the other folks on Sesame Street to be cabinet members. Hmm, maybe Bob, Gordan, Susan, Maria, Luis, etc. could help them all out...

Max Whittaker
03-10-2002, 11:41 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


LOL :rotflmao: But still... Well, maybe we could get some of the other folks on Sesame Street to be cabinet members. Hmm, maybe Bob, Gordan, Susan, Maria, Luis, etc. could help them all out...

Sounds good to me!

Swimfan85
03-11-2002, 04:08 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


Ahem...she means ME. LOL Yeah, that would be a good one.


nope i dont i ment me and i got pics!! ahaha

FolFanatic151
03-11-2002, 08:04 PM
Originally posted by Max Whittaker


Sounds good to me!

Alrighty! Let's get this campaign rolling then! Election 2004, here we come! Hey, it could be our first Muppet president ever!!! Cool! Now are you going to contact the nominee or shall I?

Max Whittaker
03-11-2002, 11:26 PM
Originally posted by FolFanatic151


Alrighty! Let's get this campaign rolling then! Election 2004, here we come! Hey, it could be our first Muppet president ever!!! Cool! Now are you going to contact the nominee or shall I?

Hey, why not? I need to hone my puppet skills! :lol: :seeya: