Sorry if this has been asked before. I do like this show but what's with there marriage? In real life if a couple fought as much as them they would of gotten divorced. I mean Debra always yells at him and acts like he a piece of crap person who never does anything and that he always ashamed of him. I honestly think they have a bad marriage on this show I know there moments where they are good together but 90 percent of the time they are fighting. Plus Debra also always has hatred for his parents to which is bad in a marriage.

I agree with you. Debra is always moody, mean, bossy and thinks she's better than everyone else. Ray on the hand is lazy (other than working for a living), immature and a big wuss. The show is hilarious though but I watch it more for the other half of the Barone family - IMO, they are what makes this show - not Ray and Debra. But that is just my opinion.

I just think its very unrealistic marriage I know it just a sitcom but why would someone marry someone that they basically like look down upon all the time and isn't proud of there episode where she told people at school function they went to that she didn't know him

I'm in agreement with everything that's been posted -- but I will say however that I'd rather be married to Debra than Carrie from The King of Queens. While Debra tended to be domineering, Carrie would scare me outright...!

I just think its very unrealistic marriage I know it just a sitcom but why would someone marry someone that they basically like look down upon all the time and isn't proud of there episode where she told people at school function they went to that she didn't know him
They say alot of the stories were from personal experiences. I'm not married but I'd sure hate to have all that stuff happen in my real life and I couldn't be as mean, rude and bossy as Debra. I'd be surprised my if my husband didn't leave me in a heart beat.

They say alot of the stories were from personal experiences. I'm not married but I'd sure hate to have all that stuff happen in my real life and I couldn't be as mean, rude and bossy as Debra. I'd be surprised my if my husband didn't leave me in a heart beat.

Amen to that! IMO, there is no chemistry between them either. I think Ray is in "lust" not in love with her. And Debra, not sure what she ever saw in him except maybe someone to make all the money and give her what she wants - oh and for someone to control and kick around. Think about it, there are not many men at all that would put up with her - I know if I was a man I wouldn't. In fact, I would say she was lucky that Ray wasn't a wife beater.

Couples fight i get that. sometimes husband or wife doesnt do stuff when they should i get that. its just debra acts like ray is a piece of crap garbage guy who does nothing but sit around on the couch watching sports and that might be true or not true but what kind of marriage is that when you act like your ashamed of your spouse.

Couples fight i get that. sometimes husband or wife doesnt do stuff when they should i get that. its just debra acts like ray is a piece of crap garbage guy who does nothing but sit around on the couch watching sports and that might be true or not true but what kind of marriage is that when you act like your ashamed of your spouse.

I agree!

just seems like they spend more time fighting/arguing than actually enjoying there marriage or helping each other out. I mean it seems like he married her because it was the best looking girl who gave him the time of day. I mean half the episodes he doesnt even remember simple stuff like her middle name and things like that. I mean he been married to her how along and he doesn't know what to get her as a present for christmas.

Sorry if this has been asked before. I do like this show but what's with there marriage? In real life if a couple fought as much as them they would of gotten divorced. I mean Debra always yells at him and acts like he a piece of crap person who never does anything and that he always ashamed of him. I honestly think they have a bad marriage on this show I know there moments where they are good together but 90 percent of the time they are fighting. Plus Debra also always has hatred for his parents to which is bad in a marriage.

The Barones are very kinky. Debra is the Domme and Ray is the Slave. It's a BDSM thing. :cool:

I do like this show but what's with there marriage? In real life if a couple fought as much as them they would of gotten divorced.

Not necessarily. My parents are a lot like them, and they've been married for over 40 years. ohno:

I don't think that Debra was thinking with her brain when she decided to marry Ray. Instead she was thinking with a southern part of her body. To me, she put up with way too much.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Maybe it is an unrealistic marriage but I love Debra. She is beautiful, takes care of the kids and runs the house. She is smart and funny. She does get crazy mad at Ray but it's because he is an idiot. I watch the show for her. Ray doesn't realize how good he has it. Wish I had it that good.

To me Ray and Debra's marriage isn't unrealistic at all. Fights happen. I kind of wonder whether the people commenting here are married or have ever been married. The show also displayed charming aspects or their relationship, like in many of the flashback scenes, and the resolutions of episodes like the Breakup Tape and High School.

Why isn't there commentary about Frank and Marie's marriage, where the yelling and fighting are daily occurrences? Is it because they belong to an older generation, where the quarrels are expected or "earned" after so many years? Or because they seem to go to their Catholic church more often than Ray and Debra? Or is their marriage's "badness" just so obvious to everybody that it's not worth commenting on? (Even though theirs survived while Lois and Warren's ended?)

To me Ray and Debra's marriage isn't unrealistic at all. Fights happen. I kind of wonder whether the people commenting here are married or have ever been married. The show also displayed charming aspects or their relationship, like in many of the flashback scenes, and the resolutions of episodes like the Breakup Tape and High School.

Why isn't there commentary about Frank and Marie's marriage, where the yelling and fighting are daily occurrences? Is it because they belong to an older generation, where the quarrels are expected or "earned" after so many years? Or because they seem to go to their Catholic church more often than Ray and Debra? Or is their marriage's "badness" just so obvious to everybody that it's not worth commenting on? (Even though theirs survived while Lois and Warren's ended?)

Yeah I agree with you the fighting was natural. Some like to paint Debra as this hard-a## bit## but she was tired of Ray weenying out of his responsibilities. And BOY was she smart! Remember how deftly she put out that fire that Ray started?

As for Marie and Frank, I think they love to argue. And while I generally don’t care for Frank, I love how enraged he got when Marie said they had a loveless marriage. IMO one of the classic scenes from the show.

I think couples who stay together know how to fight.

It's one-thing to say "I'd appreciate it I you made more of an effort to pick your clothes up off the floor because I'm kind of a neat-nick and it bothers me"

versus

"You are a lazy slob who leaves your clothes lying all over the place and I'm sorry I ever married you."

It's all you frame things.

Yeah I agree with you the fighting was natural. Some like to paint Debra as this hard-a## bit## but she was tired of Ray weenying out of his responsibilities. And BOY was she smart! Remember how deftly she put out that fire that Ray started?

As for Marie and Frank, I think they love to argue. And while I generally don’t care for Frank, I love how enraged he got when Marie said they had a loveless marriage. IMO one of the classic scenes from the show.
Amen to that scene when Frank got mad about Marie's thought where their marriage was concerned. Yeah, he was a word that I can't say, but if he truly thought that Marie brought nothing to the picture, he never would've stayed married to her and it obviously wasn't just her cooking that was good. I love the episode when we learn about how often Frank and Marie perform their "marital duties". She said that they only did it once a year, but Frank was there to let the true story be out there which is one thing that should be appreciated about everyone who is nothing but honest. Marie only let it be known where Ray's lying streak came from.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Amen to that scene when Frank got mad about Marie's thought where their marriage was concerned. Yeah, he was a word that I can't say, but if he truly thought that Marie brought nothing to the picture, he never would've stayed married to her and it obviously wasn't just her cooking that was good. I love the episode when we learn about how often Frank and Marie perform their "marital duties". She said that they only did it once a year, but Frank was there to let the true story be out there which is one thing that should be appreciated about everyone who is nothing but honest. Marie only let it be known where Ray's lying streak came from.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Yup 98% of the time Frank made me gag and think: Marie deserves an award for not having an affair. But then there was that other 2% - like above and when he took the heat for Debra with that canister.

And as macho as Frank likes to make himself out to be, he would barely be able to function without Marie. I mean really: can you imagine him cooking, shopping or doing his laundry? She was a smart cookie and for sure, a smooth operator.

You have to wonder if Ray and Debra even liked each other -- at times it seemed like it was borderlining on contempt. They would try to undermine each other. Here are some examples:

- Ray not voting for Debra
- Debra telling Ray he misprounces a specific word as he prepares for his big speech
- Debra being jealous of Ray's enjoyment of charity work
- Ray not bring thrilled about Debra going back to work
- Debra making bets with the kids at Ray's expense
- Ray making fun of Debra's braciole despite it being good

I've never seen a TV sitcom couple hate each other as much as they do. This is probably the reason why Ray always sides with Marie whenever there was a dispute between the ladies.

^^^ Ray have not been trilled when Debra went back to work, but when she did only to get fired, he went to her boss and tried to get her job back for her which in my opinion showed support for her.

God bless you always!!

Holly

For some couples, they stay together not because they genuinely love each other but they are comfortable living together. It would be greater work to separate and meet others rather than stay fighting and being miserable at times. I think this sums up Ray/Debra.

^
OMG no. I'm in that miserable marriage thing, constantly bickering over everything, zero intamacy (don't care either) I'd rather be alone than what I'm in now, But for now I'm stuck.

I think Debra is a total bytch, Ray is nothing short of an idiot.
Ray constantly having to beg for sex, turn off, If I had to beg for it, that alone would turn me off from that person.
The father is a rotten nasty old unfeeling man. Robert is a little slow, and stupid for still living at home. Ray is an idiot for living across the street from his overbearing domineering mother, simply sickening.

That wife is just plain mean and miserable. I don't get the appeal.

They're all odd in their way. It's a generally dysfunctional family, with a buttinsky mother (Marie), loudmouthed, opinionated father (Frank), and two insecure sons (Ray and Robert) who live in fear of their mother.

Ray and Debra? She becomes increasingly hostile to Ray as time goes on, culminating in a fourth season episode where she becomes downright violent. He becomes more and more manipulative as time goes on--really, I'm thinking, if the show went beyond nine seasons, the writers could have had them get a divorce.

Sitcoms aren't showing random days in people's lives. These are notable days - the ones characters would tell stories about. You're not supposed to think that Ray does something outrageous every single day, and Debra goes off like a bomb.

Everybody Loves Raymond may be the show that has suffered most from binging episodes, both on cable and now streaming. Watching one after another magnifies the negative aspects of the characters, so if you tend to take sitcoms seriously it can lead to judging characters in a way that wasn't really intended.