Frank Gannucci
11-19-2012, 08:46 AM
(A Honeymooners Thanksgiving):
(Alice’s parents are preparing the dinner. Alice’s Dad looks outside.)
Alice’s Dad: “Oh good. The Nortons and Alice and Ralph are here.”
(The Kramdens and Nortons come in. Audience applauds. Ralph has a look of disgust on his face.)
Alice’s Dad: “Come in. Happy Thanksgiving.”
Ed: “Same to you.”
(Alice’s Mom comes over.)
Alice: “Hiya Mom & Dad!”
Alice’s Mom: “Hello Alice. I see you brought along a character from a movie.”
Ralph: “Who?”
Alice’s Mom: “The star character from the movie Wreck It Ralph.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!”
Alice: “Oh come on now Mother. Ralph has dropped some pounds.”
Alice’s Mom: “On whom?”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (whispers): “Ooooh, just one swing.”
Alice: “You will have to forgive Ralph. He found out that his Jets are losing.”
Alice’s Mom: “Oooh! Well, dinner will be ready in an hour.”
Ed: “Good. I had turkey day yesterday where I work. Only thing that happened was the tide came in and the turkey found it’s way into the East River outside.”
Ralph: “Watch it Ed! Watch it!”
(An hour later. Dinner is served.)
Alice’s Dad: “In honor of Thanksgiving, we should say what we are thankful for. I am thankful for being married to you.”
Alice’s Mom: “So am I.”
Trixie: “Ed, I am very thankful to be healthy and be married to a person like you.”
Ed: “I am thankful for being married to a lovely woman like you Trixie as well as for being healthy and having the job that I have as well as being a Raccoon.” (raising an imaginary tail on his head): “Whoo!”
Alice: “I am thankful Ralph for being married to a man like you. You have a sweet disposition despite it all. I am also thankful to have great friends and to be alive.”
Ralph: “I am thankful for being married to you Alice, having friends like the Nortons, being a Raccoon, my job and for being an AMERICAN. This is a great country. All of us should be thankful.”
(They all sing a song about Thanksgiving.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: “How sweet it is!”
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: “Friends, all of us should give thaanks around this time of year. I am thankful that I am working in front of the Miami Beach audiences.”
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Folks, time to introduce the cast. First, Jean Kean."
(The audience applauds as Jean comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(The audience applauds as Audrey comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(The audience applauds as Art comes on stage and shakes Jackie's hand.)
Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST and the Miami Beach Thanksgivings are the GREATEST Thanksgivings in the world. GOOD NIGHT!"
(Audience cheers.)
(Alice’s parents are preparing the dinner. Alice’s Dad looks outside.)
Alice’s Dad: “Oh good. The Nortons and Alice and Ralph are here.”
(The Kramdens and Nortons come in. Audience applauds. Ralph has a look of disgust on his face.)
Alice’s Dad: “Come in. Happy Thanksgiving.”
Ed: “Same to you.”
(Alice’s Mom comes over.)
Alice: “Hiya Mom & Dad!”
Alice’s Mom: “Hello Alice. I see you brought along a character from a movie.”
Ralph: “Who?”
Alice’s Mom: “The star character from the movie Wreck It Ralph.”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (yells): “SHUT UP NORTON!”
Alice: “Oh come on now Mother. Ralph has dropped some pounds.”
Alice’s Mom: “On whom?”
(Ed laughs.)
Ralph (whispers): “Ooooh, just one swing.”
Alice: “You will have to forgive Ralph. He found out that his Jets are losing.”
Alice’s Mom: “Oooh! Well, dinner will be ready in an hour.”
Ed: “Good. I had turkey day yesterday where I work. Only thing that happened was the tide came in and the turkey found it’s way into the East River outside.”
Ralph: “Watch it Ed! Watch it!”
(An hour later. Dinner is served.)
Alice’s Dad: “In honor of Thanksgiving, we should say what we are thankful for. I am thankful for being married to you.”
Alice’s Mom: “So am I.”
Trixie: “Ed, I am very thankful to be healthy and be married to a person like you.”
Ed: “I am thankful for being married to a lovely woman like you Trixie as well as for being healthy and having the job that I have as well as being a Raccoon.” (raising an imaginary tail on his head): “Whoo!”
Alice: “I am thankful Ralph for being married to a man like you. You have a sweet disposition despite it all. I am also thankful to have great friends and to be alive.”
Ralph: “I am thankful for being married to you Alice, having friends like the Nortons, being a Raccoon, my job and for being an AMERICAN. This is a great country. All of us should be thankful.”
(They all sing a song about Thanksgiving.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: “How sweet it is!”
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: “Friends, all of us should give thaanks around this time of year. I am thankful that I am working in front of the Miami Beach audiences.”
(Audience cheers.)
Jackie: "Folks, time to introduce the cast. First, Jean Kean."
(The audience applauds as Jean comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)
Jackie: "Audrey Meadows."
(The audience applauds as Audrey comes on stage and kisses Jackie.)
Jackie: "Art Carney."
(The audience applauds as Art comes on stage and shakes Jackie's hand.)
Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST and the Miami Beach Thanksgivings are the GREATEST Thanksgivings in the world. GOOD NIGHT!"
(Audience cheers.)