(The NY Rangers beat the Ottawa Senators 4-2.)

(The girls are playing checkers in the Kramden apartment.)

Trixie: "Checkmate."

Alice: "You win. Speaking of winning, I wonder where are our boys are."

Trixie: "I bet that they are eclebrating thier lungs out that the Rangers won."

Alice: "I only hope that they don't cause a scene when they arrive home."

Ralph & Ed (from hallway, singing loudly and off-key): "WE ARE THE WINNNNNNNNNERS...OF THE WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLD."

(They enter.)

Ralph: "Boy, when the Rangers show up to play, they dooooo."

Ed: "They really showed up even though they lost some steam at the end."

Alice: "Ralph."

Trixie: "Ed."

Alice: "I thought you two would have more common sense coming in here at 11:55p and singing at the top of your lungs."

Trixie: "Yeah."

Ralph: "Tonight, is our night to howl. The Rangers really showed those BUM Senators. Time for the Rangers to win on Saturday. I bet those Rangers really got those Senators worried."

Ed: "I got a question. Why are they called Senators when they are not even close to being associated with Congress?"

Ralph: "Norton, you have been hit on the head by one too many manhole covers."

Trixie: "Ed and Ralph, they are people in this building that may be sound asleep like McGarrity upstairs."

Ralph (sarcastically): "Oooooh, I wouldn't want to awake McGarrity and rub in his face that the Rangers won. He might get mad. Hahahahaha. I DON'T CARE."

Alice: "Ralph, I forgot to tell you. Saturday night, we have to go to my Mother's and Father's. We are taking them out."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT? I AM NOT SPENDING MY SATURDAY NIGHT WITH THAT BLABBERMOUTH. SHE CAUSED ME TO MISS OUT ON A MILLION DOLLARS ON AT LEAST TWO ST. PATRICK DAYS. I AM NOT GOING."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE."

Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE."

Ralph (yells): "I AM NOT."

Alice (yells): "YOU ARE NOT."

Ralph (yells): "I AM...I MEAN I AM NOT."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

(Ed & Trixie leave.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph & Ed come home wearing Raccoon uniforms.)

Ralph: “Alice, we are home.”

Alice (from the bedroom, yells): “I WILL BE OUT RALPH.”

Ed: “Boy, those Panthers really got what they deserved.”

Ralph: ‘Yeah. Those Panthers got beat by the Devils. There is however one thing about those Panthers that the Devils don’t have. They get to play in that action city: Miami, Florida.”

(Audience cheers.)

(Alice comes out.)

Alice: “Hi Ed! Hi Ralph!”

Ralph: “Hello sweetie. Did you see the game? I know that me and Ed did down at the lodge. It looks like my dream of seeing the Devils and Rangers face off in the third round is going to happen.”

Ed: “Ralph, won’t it be better if they faced each other in the Stanley Cup final?”

Ralph: “Are you nuts? They play in the same conference. The Cup round is for the best of the East to face the best of the West.”

Ed: “So? The Devils play in the West and the Rangers play in the East.”

Ralph: “You are a mental case. Anyway, we have got to see that game on Sunday.”

Ed: “Oh Ralph, I can’t.”

Ralph: “What do you mean that you can’t?”

Ed: “Oh, I got some important errands to run that day.”

Ralph: “Oh. What are the errands?”

Ed: “Oh you see, I have to record an episode of Spongebob Squarepants for a kid neighbor of mine without commercials. I promised the kid that.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph & Ed walk out of MSG.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a bummer of a game. The Rangers collapsed. They had a one goal lead and they lost."

(Ed blows his nose.)

Ed: "It sure is sad. The Rangers had the best record in hockey. Now, they are three games away from going on the golf course in Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph: "Yeah. Oh, those Senators are going to get theirs. Hockey may be Canada's national past time, but the Rangers will show Ottawa who is boss."

Ed: "Yeah. I can't believe that they call themselves the Senators when they are not even politicians."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: "Maybe it would be a good thing if Ottawa won."

Ralph: "Why do you say that?"

Ed: "Well, if Ottawa won, my sewer would be happy. Bruce and Harry are Senators fans and they want them to beat the Rangers."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! GET OUT!"

(Ed leaves. Later on, they simmer down.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph is sitting at the kitchen table all upset.)

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "What a miserable weekend Ralph. First the Rangers, now the Devils."

Ralph: "Yes, I sooo wanted the Devils to win but they didn't. The next game they play is at the Prudential Center in Newark. You know they call that place 'The Rock.' A nickname that is shared with Audrey Meadows who by coincidene looks like Alice's identical twin."

(Audience laughs then cheers.)

Ed: "The only good things about those past two Devils games is that they won in Florida and they got to play in Miami."

Ralph: "Yeah, I heard that the Miami audiences are the BEST."

(Audience cheers.)

Ed: "Maybe the Devils will win the last three games at home. If they do, we should invite them to a Raccoon meeting. They will love it there."

Ralph: "Oh yeah. The Devils will drink along with the Raccoons. This year Norton, a NY/NJ NHL team will win the Cup."

(They both sing a song about the Stanley Cup.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience applauds.)

(Ralph & Ed have just watched the game in Ralph's apartment.)

Ralph: "What a thriller of a game Norton. I thought that the Rangers were done for."

Ed: "Yeah. Ottawa is a tough team. They almost got goals in."

Ralph: "Yeah. What a great job by those goaltenders."

Ed: "I didn't tell you this. I was a hockey player once."

Ralph: "Oh!"

Ed: "Yes. They made me the goaltender. I set new standards for the team I was on when I was in school."

Ralph: "Oh, what were they?"

Ed: "I was the goaltender that allowed the most pucks to go into the net."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "You know that Joe Fenstablau at work is betting that both teams, the Devils and Rangers lose in the first round. I am going to make a bet with him. If one of them gets eliminated, I will not eat for 24 hours. I can do it."

Ed: "Yeah but it will be rough on the farmers."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph just watched the game.)

Ralph: "How could the Devils do this Alice? How could they blow a three goal lead?"

Alice: "You are asking me?"

Ralph: "Yeah. I am asking you."

Alice: "Oh, you think that I am a hockey analyst."

Ralph: "Ooooooh. Boy, for that team to blow a lead like that, it has got to be deflating. All I know is if I was on that team, I would be sure to capitalize on the lead."

Alice: "Are you sure you would be able to Ralph? If you got knocked down by a hockey player, you would spend a long time getting back up."

Ralph: "Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot."

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, I just saw the shocker of the year. The Devils blowing a three game lead. Let's give credit where credit is due."

Ralph: "Yeah, the Devils played great during the first few minutes."

Ed: "No, I am talking about the Panthers. The Panthers coming back and winning by scoring four goals."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph is at the kitchen table. He is upset. Ed Norton comes down.)

Ed: "What a miserable game Ralph. The Rangers had a two goal lead and they blew it just like the Devils."

Ralph: "Don't get me started Norton. How could the Rangers do this? How could the Rangers do this to their fans?"

Ed: "To top it all off, it went into overtime. Now both the Rangers and Devils face a series where it will be the best out of three."

Ralph: "Yeah. Tomorrow, I have to face that Joe Fenstablau. He is going to rub it in my face that the Rangers lost. If I have to hear that, I will blow up."

Ed: "Aren't you all ready blown up?"

Ralph: "Oh, youa re a riot Norton. A regular riot. That Joe & Garrity are all anti-New York sports. If those two were together and they drilled it into my head that the Rangers and Devils lost their chance to get a Stanley Cup, if they do, I will kick them between their legs."

Ed: "If you do that, be ready for black eyes."

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph & Ed are riding the subway.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a game Norton. Those Devils really made up for last Tuesday night when they lost 4-3. They won tonight 4-0."

Ed: "That's great Ralph-ie boy. Saturday night will be a great night."

Ralph: "Yes, those Devils will play in Miami. Right close to that fun and sun capital of the world: Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph: "To top it all off, it will be on Saturday night. This will be great Those Devils will really tame those Panthers."

Ed: "Those Panthers will get what's coming to them soon."

Ralph: "You know that Joe Fenstablau is going to be upset tomorrow. Boy, I am going to rub this game in his face."

Ed: "Yes, that poor, misguided soul: Joe Fenstablau will get his. You know something, if the Rangers and Devils don't win the Stanley Cup, I will want the Panthers to win."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"

Ed: "Yeah, they get to play down there at Miami Beach right near all that water."

(The subway stops. Ed gets thrown off by Ralph.)

Ed: "Geeeeee, waht a grouch."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Ralph & Ed just watched the game.)

Ralph: "What a dissappointing game Norton. Those Devils played like little kids. They let those lousy BUM Panthers win."

Ed: "Now the Devils have their backs against the wall. On Tuesday night, I think I will write the epitath on the 2011-2012 Devils tombstone."

Ralph: "Now on Monday, I have to face that Joe Fenstablau. I also have to face Garrity from upstairs. Also, if the Rangers lose tonight, do your ealize that both of our teams could be gone by early next week?"

Ed: "I know. Those teams have sweet kids."

Ralph: "Look at all those fans. I do feel good about them. They are right near that fun and sun capital of the world: Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN, THOSE DEVILS ARE DONE FOR ON TUESDAY."

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "WHY AREN'T YOU CELEBRATING GARRITY WITH MUSKATEELS? YOU WILL LOSE BECAUSE YOU ARE A LOSER."

(Ralph gets doused with water. Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph & Ed are playing pool.)

Ralph: "Now Norton, I am not going to lose like our Rangers did last night. I can't believe that they lost to those Ottawa Senators. Now both the Devils & Rangers have their backs against the wall for sure."

Ed: "Yes. They do. It's too bad because the Rangers have been playing so great."

Ralph: "I know. What a dissappointing season this will be. The Rangers were the top team in the northeast."

(Harvey comes by.)

Harvey: "So, you think that the Rangers will win? I don't. I think they will lose to the Ottawa Senators."

Ralph: "You are wrong Harvey. Those Senators won't know what hit them during the next two games. They will LOSE."

Harvey: "Oh yeah. How about we make a bet? If the Rangers exit, you owe me $100. If they win, I will give you $100."

Ed: "Ralph accepts."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Harvey: "If you don't give me your money, I will come get you. Where do you live?"

Ed: "328 Chauncey Street."

(Ralph elbows Ed.)

Harvey: "Thank you."

(Harvey leaves.)

Ed: "You are smart Ralph. Why did you have to make that bet for?"

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NY Rangers beat the Ottawa Senators 3-2.)

(The girls are at home.)

Trixie: "The boys are going to be here any minute."

Alice: "You know that they are going to be all giddy that the Rangers won."

Trixie: "I wonder how they felt about that second goal that Ottaway got."

Alice: "I know that Ralph is going to say that that goal didn't count. I hope that they don't come in here all livewires."

Ralph & Ed (from the hallway, yell): "BOY, WAHT A GAME TONIGHT."

(Ralph & Ed enter.)

Ralph: "Hiya Trixie! Hiya Alice! Did you see that game?"

Ed: "You should have seen Ralph at the bowling alley, watching the game. I thought he was going to have a heart attack during the last minute."

Ralph: "I still say that the second goal didn't count. The TV announcers said that the decision was being determined by the situation room in NHL in Toronto."

Ed: "That is wrong. The Situation Room is ruled by Wolf Blitzer and it is on CNN."

Ralph (yells): "NOT THAT SITUATION ROOM."

Ed: "Geeeeee. Still what a game."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Alice: "Ralph, I thought you two boys would have more sense than to come in here like you did. Suppose you wake up the people in this building."

Ralph: "I don't care if I wake up the whole world. I am going to scream it on the rooftops."

Ed: "You can do it with your voice."

Ralph: "Oh, you are going to get it Norton."

Trixie: "You realize that the Rangers could lose game 7."

Ralph: "They can't lose. Isn't that right Ed?"

Ed: "Well, Ralph after what happened tonight, I think that the winner of game 7 is...Ottawa."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."

(Audience cheers.)

(The NJ Devils beat the Florida Panthers 3-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are walking in Newark.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a game Norton. I thought that the Devils squandered their chances."

Ed: "I know I did. I was ready to write the epitath on the 2011-2012 Devils tombstone."

Ralph: "This is great. The Devils will fly near that fun and sun capital of the world, Miami Beach."

(The audience cheers.)

Ed: "This Thursday, we will celebrate the Rangers and Devils advancing to the second round."

Ralph: "Nothing will spoil that day."

Ed: "However, if both teams lose, it will be a double wahmmy and that will be a real shame. I want to see both of those teams in the final for the Stanlye Cup."

Ralph: "Boy, are you an idiot. In the NHL Stanley Cup tourny, the best team of the East plays the best team of the West. I told you that."

Ed: "So, the Rangers play in the East and the Devils in the west."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "I so want to see those teams battle it out in the tourny. It will make me proud to be a New Yorker."

(They both sing a song about being a New Yorker.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NY Rangers won the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, 4 games to 3, by beating the Ottawa Senators 2-1.)

(Ralph is celebrating the win at home.)

Ralph (yells): "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAA! WHAT A GAME! THE RANGERS OUTPLAYED THOSE SENATORS."

Alice: "Ralph, I hope you don't wake up the neighbors."

Ralph: "Oh, I don't care if I wake the WHOLE world. The Rangers are going to the second round."

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "HEY RALPH-IE BOY! THOSE RANGERS WON!"

(Ralph goes to the window and sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN PAL!"

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "HEY RALPH-IE BOY! THOSE RANGERS WON!"

Ralph (yells): "I THINK IT'S TIME FOR PHILLY TO BE SHOWN WHO'S BOSS!"

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN! CUT IT OUT OR I WILL REPORT YOU TO THE SUPERINTENDENT."

Ralph (yells): "YOU WOULDN'T DARE!"

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "OH, WOULDN'T I?"

Ralph (yells): "YOU WOULDN'T DARE! YOU ARE TOO LAZY."

(Knock on door. Alice answers it. It is the superintendent.)

Superintendent: "Mr. Kramden, if you don't keep quiet, I will have you and your wife evicted."

McGarrity (from upstairs, yells): "RALPH, LOOKS LIKE THE SUPERINTENDENT VISITED YOU. THANK GOD GOD INVENTED TEXT MESSAGING."

(Ed laughs.)

(Ralph sticks his head out.)

Ralph: "You are going to get it Norton. I have a biiiiig mouth."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NJ Devils won the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, 4 ames to 3, by beating the Florida Panthers 3-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are in the bus depot locker room.)

Ralph: "Did you see that game last night pal?"

Ed: "Did I ever? I was so happy when the Devils won. I didn't care that they won so late that I almost drowned today in the sewer."

Ralph: "Gee. They won and they had the honor of performing near that action city: Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Ed: "What about that bet that you made with that poor, misguided soul, Joe Fenstablau?"

Ralph: "Oh, he was steamed today. He said that the Devils were lucky. Now, the Devils get to play Philly and the Rangers get to play Washington."

(Joe Fenstablau walks in.)

Joe: "Hey Kramden, I have your money. Those Devils and Rangers got lucky."

Ralph: "Oh, they did? I bet you that we will see a Rangers/Devils third round matchup. This area can't lose if that happens."

Joe: "Oh yeah? You want to up the ante?"

Ed: "Sure, he does."

(Ralph gets angry at Ed.)

Joe: "Okay, if both of those teams don't advance, you owe me $100."

Ed: "Deal."

Ralph: "Norton."

Joe: "Deal."

(Joe leaves.)

Ed: "Ralph, I know you are a level-headed person. Why did you have to make that bet for?"

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Good night everybody."

(Audience cheers.)

(The NY Rangers beat the Washington Capitals 3-1.)

(Ralph is with Ed at the park.)

Ralph: "Did you see our New York Rangers beat those BUM Capitals?"

Ed: "Did I? I saw that game and I was happy that I saw a good game."

Ralph: "Yeah, those Rangers are going to get revenge on those Capitals for what they did to them three years ago. I still can't believe that those Capitals beat the NY Rangers in the playoffs in 2009."

Ed: "I bet that Barack was upset."

Ralph: "I would think that a guy like him would be for the Rangers."

Ed: "Don't get your hopes up Ralph. There are still more games left."

Ralph: "The Rangers OWNED those BUM Capitals."

Ed: "How ironic. During the last series the Rangers met the Senators that are not from Washington. Now they are meeting a team in Washington that might beat them in the playoffs."

Ralph: "How can you say that?"

Ed: "That's easy Ralph. I am a Capitals fan."

Ralph (yells): "PUT 'EM UP NORTON! PUT 'EM UP NORTON!"

(The wives come to make peace.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "Good night everyone."

(Audience cheers loudly.)

(The Philadelphia Flyers beat the NJ Devils 4-3.)

(Ralph just watched the game. He is sitting down at the kitchen table.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a heartbreaker Alice. The Devils lost to those pesky Flyers in OT. That was terrible."

Alice: "Ralph, you said to me that it is only game 1."

Ralph: "Yeah, but suppose the Flyers sweep the Devils. I want the Devils to meet the Rangers in the third round. That way, at least on my teams will make it to the Stanley Cup."

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "Whaddaya say Ralph & Alice? If the Devils lose this series, it will be a dark, dark day."

Ralph: "I thought you told me that you were a fany of the Flyers."

Ed: "I changed my mind. I just found out from Wikipedia.org that all the members of the Flyers hate the sewers."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "We need boht of our teams to make it to the third round. When the Devils arrive back here for game 3, with the series being TIED, we have to go to the Prudential Center to cheer on the Devils."

Ed: "I can't Ralph."

Ralph: "Why not?"

Ed: "Well, you see my Tivo and DVD recorders broke down and I want to watch an episode of Spongebob that night that game 3 is going to take place."

Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT."

(Audience cheers.)

(The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 3-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are eating lucnh by Ed's manhole.)

Ed: "What a dissappointing game Ralph-ie boy."

Ralph: "You can say that again. I thought that the Rangers had it won until those BUM Capitals scored."

Ed: "Now the series is evan at one game a piece. They are going to go back to Washngto and be in front of thoe fans. That will be an advantage for he Capitals."

Ralph: "Oh yes. I just hoped that the Rangers would g to Washington to advance. Those Rangers need to face the Devils i the the round. I want a Rangers/Devils third round. That way, one of our teams will go to the Stanley Cup."

Ed: "Yes. Otherwise it could be a..." (makes gasping noise): "...Flyers/Washington third round."

Ralph: "Don't you dare say it Norton. If that happens, I will have a heart attack."

Ed: "A lot of people are surprised that hasn't happened yet."

Ralph: "Ooooh, you are going to get it Norton. But, we need a Devils/Rangers third round."

(They both sing a song about the Devils and Rangers.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "The Miami Bec audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 3-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are eating lucnh by Ed's manhole.)

Ed: "What a dissappointing game Ralph-ie boy."

Ralph: "You can say that again. I thought that the Rangers had it won until those BUM Capitals scored."

Ed: "Now the series is evan at one game a piece. They are going to go back to Washngto and be in front of thoe fans. That will be an advantage for he Capitals."

Ralph: "Oh yes. I just hoped that the Rangers would go to Washington to advance. Those Rangers need to face the Devils i the the round. I want a Rangers/Devils third round. That way, one of our teams will go to the Stanley Cup."

Ed: "Yes. Otherwise it could be a..." (makes gasping noise): "...Flyers/Washington third round."

Ralph: "Don't you dare say it Norton. If that happens, I will have a heart attack."

Ed: "A lot of people are surprised that hasn't happened yet."

Ralph: "Ooooh, you are going to get it Norton. But, we need a Devils/Rangers third round."

(They both sing a song about the Devils and Rangers.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NJ Devils beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-1.)

(Ralph & Ed just come into the Kramden apartment. Alice is there.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a game that we saw in the pool hall Ed."

Alice: "I am assuming that you are talking about the Devils game right?"

Ed: "Yes we are Alice. The Devils came back with a bang. They scored four goals to the point where the Flyers must have thought they were playing against a bunch of Wyne Gretzkys."

Ralph: "Yep. hey thought they were playing against a bunch of people who call themselves 'The Great One.' Can you imagine people calling you 'The Great One'?"

(Audience alughs loudly due to the fact that Jackie Gleason's nickname was "The Great One.")

Alice: "What was the score?"

Ralph: "Four to one. Boy, if the series shifts back to Phully, all of us have got to make the trip. I would love ot walk around the streets of Philly."

Ed: "I would love to walk around the SEWERS of Philly. Ha ha ha!"

Ralph: "I wonder what would happen if I walked down the streets with a Devils jersey on."

Alice: "That is not possible Ralph. They don't make jerseys for elephants."

(Ed laughs.)

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Ed: "Hey Ralph, people may want to start a fight with you if they saw you with a Devils jersey. Those people in Philly can be tough."

Ralph: "I will take them all on. What do you think the result will be?"

Ed: "Based on your reputation, you will get KOed within seconds."

Ralph (yells): "WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE?"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NY Rangers beat the Washington Capitals 2-1.)

(Ralph & Ed are walking home after a day of work.)

Ralph: "Did you see that game last night pal?"

Ed: "Did I ever? I thought that the game was going to go so late that I would have to wear an inner tube to keep from drowning today."

Ralph: "Those Rangers really served up quite a bad dish for those Capitals in Washington, huh?"

Ed: "I really think we are going to get the Rangers playing the Devils in the third round."

Ralph: "Me too. I heard that Garrity from upstairs screaming when the Capitals lost. He is just like those Capitals. They are LOSERS."

Ed: "Yeah. The Capitals are losers. On Saturday, we are going to watch the Rangers beat the Capitals again."

Ralph: "We most certainly are. Those Rangers are long overdue to go to the third round. What a gift for New York. We are long overdue for another championship. The last time this city had a major championship win was three months ago."

Ed: "Yeah, when the Giants won the Super Bowl."

Ralph: "I think that this is a busy time of the year for New York Sports fans."

(They sing a song about sports fans. At least two of the words are Miami Beach which causes the crowd to cheer.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NJ Devils beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-3.)

(Ed meets Ralph at lunch at the bus depot.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, I just saw the end of that hockey game last night after we came home from MSG. What a game."

Ralph: "That Joe Fenstablau gave me back the money on the bet that I made with him as far as the Devils and Rangers going to play each other in the third round. He was scared that he was going to lose. So, I won."

Ed: "How sweet it is."

(Audience cheers.)

Ed: "Ralph, I was reading the paper. They showed a screencap off the NBC Sports Network showing the game. Under the NBC logo, I think NBC misspelled Stanley Cup. They put a tic-tac-tough near Stanley Cup. Let me show you."

(Ed shows Ralph.)

Ralph: "You are an idiot. That tic-tac-tough is the Twitter hashtag."

Ed: "Oh. I hope we can go on Twitter."

Ralph: "I hope that Miami Beach goes on Twitter."

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph: "Back to the Devils. I am so glad that that game ended the way it did. I did not want to watch the game in the wee hours of the morning. If I fall asleep on the job, I will crash my bus."

Ed: "If I fall asleep on my job, I can drown."

Ralph: "I don't know what I would do if both teams didn't advance. Maybe I would start throwing things in my place."

Ed: "I hope you don't. You can get a heart attack just by doing any exercise."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 3-2.)

(Ralph is pacing back & forth in the kitchen.)

Ralph: "How could the Rangers do this? How could they Alice? They lost again to the BUM Capitals."

Alice: "Ralph, the Rangers still have a chance to win. The series is now best two-out-of-three."

Ralph: "Yeah, but what if they lose again and again? I want the Devils to meet the Rangers in the third round. All of this area will be excited. I want to be a part of the excitement."

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, I heard that the Rangers lost. This is bad. Our dreams of getting a Devils/Rangers series in the third round could be WASHED out. But, the Rangers could still win tomorrow. All we have to do is smile."

Ralph: "Yeah, you are right."

Ed: "After all, we have to smile even if both teams get eliminated and there is a chance that could happen. That would also be a good third round. Capitals meeting the Flyers."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT OF HERE!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Good night."

(Audience applauds.)

(The NJ Devils beat the Philadelphia Flyers 4-2.)

(Ralph & Ed have just watched the game in Ed's apartment.)

Ed: "Wow! The Devils scored again with 30 seconds remaining to put the icing on the cake."

Ralph: "What a game. Now, the Devils are one win away from going to the third round. What an edge. Now, we are three wins away from a Rangers/Devils third round."

Ed: "The city will be jacked for it."

Ralph: "Either way, one of our teams is going to the Cup. They will win it and drink from it. I would love to drink from it."

Ed: "I bet that you would like to eat from it too."

Ralph: "Oooooh, you are a riot Norton. But, I am glad that the Devils won. They showed Philly whose boss."

Ed: "That Garrity from downstairs hates the Devils."

Ralph: "We should rub this win in his face."

(They do. They come back with black eyes.)

Ralph: "I have a BIIIG mouth."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NY Rangers beat the Washington Capitals 3-2.)

(Ralph & Ed are in the poolroom. They are all excited.)

Ed: "WHAT A GAME RALPH-IE BOY! THE RANGERS TIED THE GAME WITH SIX SECONDS LEFT AND WON IN OT."

Ralph: "I bet those Capitals are feeling pretty glum right now. Hahahaha."

Ed: "When I saw you jumping up and down, I was scared that you were going to have a heart attack."

Ralph: "Oh, you are going to get it Norton."

Ed: "We are TWO wins away from a Rangers/Devils third round."

Ralph: "I bet that Joe Fenstablau must ke throwing furniture all over his apatment much like Garrity is."

Ed: "We should make a toast to those poor, misguided souls."

Ralph: "It just shows what hard work does. It pays off. I have been working hard all my life though and it hasn't paid off yet. But, it will. When I retire, I am moving right down to Miami Beach."

(Audience cheers.)

Ed: "Me too. I will move down with you but maybe I will get transfered down to the sewer down there too. That water must be great."

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph: "What will happen when the Rangers and the Devils meet in the third round?"

(They both sing a song about the Rangers and Devils.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NJ Devils win the Eastern Conference Semifinals, 4 games to 1 by beating the Philadelphia Flyers 3-1.)

(Ralph is celebrating in the Kramden apartment.)

Alice: "Take it easy Ralph. All that jumping is not good for you nor is it good for the stairs."

Ralph: "Alice, I am ONE win away from a Rangers/Devils third round. Those Devils beat those pesky Flyers. They OWNED them."

Alice: "I see."

Ed (from upstairs, yells): "HEY RALPH-IE BOY! I JUST SAW THE GAME WHILE PLAYING WITH MY SAILBOATS IN THE TUB. WE ARE ONE WIN AWAY."

Trixie (from upstairs, yells): "ED, YOU HAVE MORE COMMON SENSE THAN TO YELL OUT THE WINDOW AT THIS TIME OF NIGHT."

Ralph: "Ed having common sense? Hahahahaha! Boy, I can't wait to rub this in Joe Fenstablau's face tomorrow."

Alice: "Ralph, I hope that you don't get into a fight and get a black eye."

Ralph: "When has that ever happened?"

Alice: "All the time you get into fights with Joe or Garrity about things like these. You are always asking for trouble."

Ralph: "YOU are asking for trouble just by being you. Don't worry. I am a BIG man about fights."

(A pause.)

Ralph (yells): "DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Good night everyone."

(Audience cheers.)

(The Washington Capitals beat the NY Rangers 2-1.)

(Ralph & Ed are having lucnh in the park.)

Ed: "What a sad game Ralph."

Ralph: "Yeah. I had a bad feeling that the Rangers were going to lose. Now, once again, it is down to a game seven. Boy, those Rangers must really love playing long series."

Ed: "I guess the good thing is they won't be lathergic when it comes to the next series."

Ralph: "Norton, if a series goes seven games, they are going to be tired when the next series starts. That's why I wanted them to sweep the BUM Capitals."

Ed: "I guess that the Caps got over their dissappointing loss."

Ralph: "Now, the advantage is with the Caps. Friday night, we got to celebrate the Rangers win at the Raccoon Lodge. If they win, we get a Rangers/Devils series and then we will drink. Hey, we may even let the Rangers be Raccoons."

Ed: "What Raccons they will be. This was a good series if the Rangers win or lose."

Ralph: "How can you say that Ed?"

Ed: "Well, I just became a Caps fan."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The NY Rangers won the Eastern Conference semifinals, 4 games to 3, by beating the Washington Capitals 2-1.)

(Ralph & Ed are celebrating in the streets.)

Ralph (yells): "WOOOOOOOOOOW! THE RANGERS ARE GOING TO THE THIRD ROUND NORTON. WE GOT OUR WISH."

Ed (yells): "HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN. THE RANGERS MADE THOSE CAPITALS LOOK BAD."

Ralph (yells): "I BET THOSE CAPITALS ARE UPSET THAT THEY SQUANDERED THIER CHANCE IN GAME 5. HAHAHAHAHA!"

Garrity (from upstairs, yells): "HEY KRAMDEN, SHUT YOUR MOUTH."

Ralph: "I don't care what Garrity thinks. Hahahaha! Boy, now that Joe Fenstablau owes me some dough."

Ed: "That poor, misguided soul thought that the Devils and Rangers would not have a chance to go to the Cup. Boy, was he wrong."

Ralph: "I bet he is all disgusted that he owes me money. What a deadbeat. What a BUM! Just like those Capitals. I am all so excited that we are getting a Subway Eastern Conference finals. This should be good."

Ed: "Why don't we call that Joe now?"

Ralph: "Hey, that's right. There's a phone booth there."

(They go over to the phone booth.)

Ed: "In 2012, these things are still around?"

Ralph: "This probably doesn't get used often. Give me the money to call Norton."

Ed: "Don't you think that I should call him?"

Ralph: "Oh, you are saying that I am too fat to be in this booth. Why don't you say it?"

Ed: "I don't have to. You just did."

Ralph: "My wife may not be alone on the moon. Now give me the money."

(Ralph goes into the phone booth to call Joe.)

Ralph: "Hello Joe! Looks like you lost the bet. Pay me on Monday...What?...Okay. If the NY/NJ team loses in the Cup finals, I owe you $300. If they win, you owe me $300. Bye!"

(Ralph hangs up. He tries to get out.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTON, I AM STUCK. HELP ME OUT."

(Ed tries to help out. He kicks the door. The glass breaks.)

Ralph (yells): "YOU STUPID STUPE! I COULD HAVE GOT GLASS IN ME."

(The cops come by to help out. They arrest Ed who is crying as he is being arrested. The cops get Ralph out. Garrity is filiming this rescue. Ralph is embarrassed.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Ladies and gentlemen. Art Carney."

(Crowd applauds as Art comes on stage to shake Jackie's hand.)

Jackie: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The girls are watching TV in the Kramden apartment.)

Trixie: "I hope that our boys didn't drink too much tonight."

Alice: "Me too. I know that our boys just wanted to see the Devils against the Rangers."

Ralph & Ed (sounding a bit drunk and yelling in the hall): "WHAT A GAME."

(They come in. Crowd applauds.)

Ralph: "Hiya girls. That was a great game."

Ed: "You said it Ralph."

Trixie: "Who won?"

Ralph: "Rangers. I don't care which team wins. This will be a great series."

Ed: "I so want either of them to dethrone the LA Kings in the Cup round. They will show the Kings who are the Kings."

Ralph: "We will watch the game on Thursday night at the bowling alley."

Alice: "Ralph, you can't. We are going over to my mothers."

Ralph: "Alice, I just wasted one day yesterday with that blowhard of a mother of yours. I want to see the hockey game. IF YOU THINK THAT I AM GOING TO WASTE ONE EVENING WITH THAT BLABBERMOUTH OF A MOTHER OF YOURS..."

Alice: "Ralph, you can watch the game on her TV in a room far away from her."

Ralph: "...THEN YOU ARE RIGHT."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST. GOOD NIGHT."

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph & Ed are walking the streets back home from work.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, I am sure you saw that game last night, huh?"

Ralph: "I certainly did Norton. I got lucky. I thought that the game was on Thursday and not Wednesday. So, I got to see the game without having to worry about Alice's Mom coming in and bothering me. Me and Alice are going to see her tonight."

Ed: "I wish you the best of luck Ralph. My mother-in-law is the most miserable rotten person that I have ever met."

Ralph: "To make matters worse, my mother-in-law probably hates hockey. She would force me to watch a Boston Red Sox game."

Ed: "My mother-in-law is the same. Well, now with the series tied, this series could be great."

Ralph: "I hope so Norton. If it goes to seven games at this rate, it could be better than the series that they had in 1994."

Ed: "So true. Back then, the Rangers were looking to break the 54-year-old curse, while the Devils were looking for respect across the heavily polluted Hudson River. Water that flows into my place of work."

Ralph: "This series could be the greatest series of all time."

(They both sing a song about how this Devils/Rangers series could be the best NHL series of all time.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph & Ed have just watched the game from the pool room.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph, that was a great game.”

Ralph: “Boy, it sure was pal. This game is a real series. I bet that the winner of this series beats the LA Kings in the Cup finals.”

Ed: “Talk about a real East/West coast matchup. That is what the Cup should be about boy.”

Ralph: “One of our teams is going to show the LA who are the real KINGS of the ice. Hahahaha!”

(Harvey & George come by.)

Harvey: “Hey George, its Ralph & Ed. I bet that they are loving this series between the Devils and Rangers.”

George: “He he.”

Ralph: “I suppose you don’t.”

Harvey: “No, I don’t. Me and George wanted to see both of your teams get swept in the first round. But, that didn’t happen.”

Ralph: “Well, too bad.”

George: “Gee fellas. We just wanted to see two GOOD teams make it to the Cup.”

Ralph: “Are you two saying that the Devils and Rangers are bad teams?”

Harvey: “Yeah. Those teams are terrible. We are hoping that the West team sweeps them in the finals to show them who is boss.”

Ed: “You two are going to lose. Ralph loves to stand up for his teams. He will fight for them.”

Harvey: “Oh, he will? Meet me tomorrow at Kesley’s gym and if you don’t show up, I will come get you.”

(They leave.)

Ed: “Ralph, I got to ask you. Why did you have to pick a fight with that big guy for?”

Ralph (yells): “PUT ‘EM UP NORTON! PUT ‘EM UP NORTON!”

(People separate the two.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “How sweet it is.”

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY/NJ NHL fan? (Part 30) (The NJ Devils beat the NY Rangers 4-1.)

(Ralph just watched the game at home.)

Ralph: “That was a great game Alice. This is REAL hockey.”

Alice: “Oh it is huh? Seems the same type of hockey I see every time. Except for the the fights that I saw. That Rangers player knocking that Devils player down as well as the coaches arguing. From what I saw, that Ranger player was out of line.”

Ralph: “I may have to agree with you. As far as what you said about this game being the same type of hockey that you see everytime except for the fighting, that is because you don’t know what real hockey is. I was a hockey player once in high school. I was the goalie. Do you know what they called me?”

Alice: “Big fat goalie.”

Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Alice. A regular riot. All I know is that either the Rangers or Devils are going to the Cup round. When they win the cup, me and all the Raccoons will be there. Heck, we might even get to go into their locker room and drink some of the beer.”

Alice: “You think those teams will allow you characters in? Ha ha ha! That is a hot one.”

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph-ie boy! What a game huh? Those Rangers really showed the Devils what they are about and vice-versa.”

Ralph: “Yeah.”

Ed: “If they play the LA Kings in the next round, the Kings will get CROWNED all right.”

Ralph: “They will not be like us. WE are the Kings of our castles. The wives are nothing.”

Alice: “Big deal. You rule over nothing.”

Ralph: “Oooh, you are going to get it Alice. You know Ed, she doesn’t know real hockey. I used to be a hockey goalie in school Do you know what they called me?”

Alice: “They called him ‘big fat goalie.’”

Ed: “Big fat goalie. Ha ha ha!”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEEEET OUT!!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “Thank you.”

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: “How sweet it is.”

(Audience cheers.)

Jackie: “The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience cheers.)

Ralph Kramden, a NY/NJ NHL fan? (Part 31) (The NJ Devils beat the NY Rangers 5-3.)

(Ralph & Ed have just exited out of the subway.)

Ed: “Let me tell you Ralph. After that game that we went too, people are going to be talking about this series for years to come.”

Ralph: “They certainly will pal. When they think of the NHL playoffs and the Rangers/Devils, they will think of this series. This is a series we can tell our grandkids about. Ha ha ha. How about that call that the people at NHL HQ made when they weren't sure if that that goal that one of the Rangers scored was legal? MSG went nuts after that.”

Ed: “Yes. After this series, one of our teams is going to win the Cup. It will be the first time that this area has seen a championship team in a long time.”

Ralph: “Yes, said long time has been four months. Four months ago, the NY Giants won the Super Bowl.”

Ed: “This area is on the verge of another championship team.”

Ralph: “Much to Garrity and Joe Fenstablau’s chagrin. I bet that they will be STEAMED when one of our teams win.”

Ed: “I would love to see them STEAMED. It would remind me of you when you get steamed.”

Ralph: “Oh, you are a riot Norton. A real riot. We must show our support for one of our teams when one of them goes for the Cup. We must go to nhl.com and buy jerseys so we can go to the game to root on our team.”

Ed: “You can’t do that Ralph.”

Ralph: “Why not?”

Ed: “I don’t think that they have jerseys in size XXXL.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEET OUT OF MY SIGHT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience applauds.)

(The NJ Devils won the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals, 4 games to 2, by beating the NY Rangers 3-2.)

(Ed meets Ralph in Central Park.)

Ed: “Hey Ralph, you should have heard the people around here. They are buzzing about last night’s game. The Devils won the Eastern Conference finals by beating the Rangers”

Ralph: “What a beauty of a game last night. After last night, I can safely say that this metro area is going to get a Stanley Cup title. Boy, what a celebration.”

Ed: “Or we could watch the L.A. Kings win.”

Ralph: “Oh no! We won’t. I don’t want L.A. to get a title. They think that with all the glitz and glamour that they should have it all. As far as towns go, Miami Beach has a lot of things that L.A. wishes they would have.”

(Crowd cheers.)

Ed: “I’m just saying Ralph. The Kings could win. But, would it be strange if us Kings of our respective households were to cheer on the King’s opposition.”

Ralph: “Yeah, it would. I wouldn’t mind it. I just want this whole area that we live in to get another sports title. It will be great when the Devils win the cup. When that happens, I will rub it in Harvey’s, Garrity’s and Joe Fenstablau’s faces.”

Ed: “After you rub it in there faces, you will probably get a black eye.”

Ralph (clenching his fist): “YOU are probably going to get a black eye soon.”

Ed: “If you got a black eye because of a hockey game, that would be ironic. As far as hockey players go, THEY are the ones that get black eyes.”

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: “What are you going to do if the Kings lose?”

Ed: “I am going to be happy and sad. The Kings have never won a Cup in a long time.”

Ralph (yells): “GET OUT! GEEEEEEEET OUT!”

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: “Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!”

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph & Ed are down in the locker room of the Gotham Bus Company.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph, our NJ Devils are on their way to a Stanley Cup loss."

Ralph: "They certainly are pal. What a loss. They really got beat by those LA Kings."

(Joe Fenstablau walks in.)

Joe: "Hey Kramden. Hey Norton. I am taking that you saw last night's game huh?"

Ralph: "We certainly did pal. Remember our bet?"

Joe: "Oh, I haven't forgotten. I hope you don't weasel out."

Ralph: "I never weasel out."

Ed: "With his stature, it would be very hard for him to..."

Ralph (yells): "SHUT UP!"

Joe: "Don't think that the Devils are going to win."

Ralph: "Last night's win of course means that the Devils are still likey to win the Cup."

Joe: "Oh they are? Would you like to up the ante?"

Ralph: "I most certainly would. How about $150?"

Joe: "Deal."

Ralph: "Yes sir. This is a real battle for the Cup."

(They all sing a song about the Stanley Cup.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph is shown in his kitchen. He is all upset.)

Ralph (to himself): "How could the Devils do this?"

Alice (from bedroom, yells): "RALPH, IT IS 2AM. TIME TO GET TO BED. THE DEVILS STILL HAVE A CHANCE."

Ralph: "I hope you are right Alice. If those Devils lose this series, I will have to listen to that BUM Joe Fenstablau. I will have to owe him a huge amount of money."

Alice (from bedroom, yells): "IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT RALPH! DO YOU KNOW WHY?"

Ralph (yells): "I HAVE A BIIIIIIIIIIG MOUTH!"

(Ed comes down.)

Ed: "I can't sleep Ralph-ie boy. Our Devils are down by two games. But, you know what? The Devils still have a chance. A good chance. Just because you lose the first two games doesn't mean you won't win."

Ralph: "You are right Norton."

Ed: "Time to cheer up. Time to smile."

(Ralph smiles.)

Ed (causing Ralph to get upset): "I want you to remain that way even through the Devils have to endure a hot L.A. crowd who will be rooting on the Kings who have a two game lead. Who are bigger than the Devils. Who out-played them during the first two games. Who didn't exhaust themselves during this postseason. You got to smile. Smile."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

Ralph: "Somewhere Alice there is a straightjacket for that man."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage.)

Jackie: "Thank you. GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

WTF?

I thought that people would get a kick out of what it would be like if Ralph & Ed were following the Rangers & Devils this season. That's all.

(Ralph is in the locker room of the Gotham Bus Co with Joe Fenstablau.)

Joe: "Ralph, that Devil game last night was great. They LOST in a GREAT fashion."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ralph: "I know Joe. Now, the Devils have GOT to win these last four games. It has never happened in their franchise history."

Joe: "That is why they wouldn't do it. Looks like you will owe me money."

Ralph: "The series isn't over yet Joe. The Devils have to lose one more game and that will not happen."

Joe: "Hahahahahaha. You are dillusional."

(Ed comes in.)

Ed: "What a sad game Ralph-ie boy. The Devils lost by four goals. That wasn't a blitz. That was a bloutz."

Ralph: "You don't have to tell me Norton."

Joe: "Hey Norton, Ralph is dillusional. He thinks that the Devils will win the next four games."

Ed: "That could happen. It ain't impossible. Sure, Ralph has a better chance of getting struck by lightning two times and surviving..."

(Ralph rolls his eyes.)

Ed: "...but still. When the Devils win the next four games, me and Ralph will celebrate and I will catch Ralph when he gets a heart attack while hoping his weight doesn't crush me to death."

Ralph: "Oooooooh, you are a riot Norton. A real riot. Just get your money ready Joe. I have a feeling that insurmountable odds will be overcomed."

(They all sing a song about overcoming the odds.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. Good night everyone."

(Audience cheers.)

(Ralph just watched the game and is all happy.)

Ralph: "Boy, what a game. Ha ha! That Joe Fenstablua was CONVINCED Alice that the Kings were going to win."

Alice: "I'm happy that you are happy."

(Ed Norton comes down.)

Ed: "Hey Ralph-ie boy! How about that game? That was a classic. Now the Devils have a better chance of winning the Cup."

Ralph: "You can say that again Norton. I can't wait for game 5. Me and you are going to the Prudential Center to root on the Devils."

Ed: "Oh, I can't Ralph. My mother-in-law is coming. She turned over a new leaf and I am ready to see her."

Ralph (yells): "WHAT? YOU WANT TO SEE YOUR MOM-IN-LAW. I HATE MY OWN. I THOUGHT YOU AND ME WERE CUT FROM THE SAME CLOTH."

Ed: "If we were, I would be as big as you."

Ralph (yells): "GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Ed leaves.)

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jack: "The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(Alice & Trixie are talking in the Kramden kitchen.)

Trixie: "Ed couldn't go with Ralph because I insisted that he stick around and be with me and my mother."

Alice: "I know. Ralph was upset. But he was confident that the Devils were going to win game 5. I know that they just won game 5 and if I know Ralph, any minute we are going to hear his voice."

Trixie: "Maybe he would have some common sense to not awake anybody in the building."

Ralph (from hallway, yells): "WE BEAT LA! WE BEAT LA! WE BEAT LA!"

(Ralph comes in. Audience applauds.)

Ralph: "What a classic. Too bad that Ed Norton couldn't come. Boy, those Kings must really feel upset. They had a three-game lead and now they only have a one-game lead. This Devils team will be the first team to win the Cup after losing the first three."

Alice: "Ralph, I would hope that you would have more common sense. You might have awaken some people."

Ralph: "Tonight is my night to howl. If I awake that old man Garrity, he would deserve it."

Trixie: "Ralph, I thought you would have more common sense too. At least my Ed wouldn't do this."

Ed (from hallway, yells): "WE BEAT LA! WE BEAT LA! WE BEAT LA!"

(Ed comes down. Audience applauds.)

Ed: "What a game Ralph. It was certainly more exciting than I thought."

Ralph: "Time to shout it once more."

Alice: "Ralph!"

Ralph: "Shut up!"

(Ralph sticks his head out.)

Ralph (yells): "LET'S GO DEVILS! LET'S GO DEVILS!"

(Garrity hits Ralph with pies.)

Garrity (yells): "GIVEN YOUR SIZE KRMADEN, I THOUGHT YOU LOVE PIES TO EAT. HAHAHAHA!"

(The Nortons and Alice laugh.)

Ralph (yells): "NORTONS, GET OUT! GEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you very much. The Miami Beach audiences are the BEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)

(The LA Kings won the Stanley Cup, 4 games to 2, by beating the NJ Devils 6-1.)

(Ralph is pacing back and forth.)

Ralph: "Oooooh, those Devils. They had to lose. They got CLOBBERED. Now, I have to owe that Joe Fenstablau all that money. All $200 plus worth."

Alice: "It's your own fault Ralph."

Ralph: "My fault? Those Kings cheated. I saw the game...I guess you are right. Those Kings won fair and square. Now, thanks to my BIIIIIIG mouth, I am out a whole lot of money tomorrow."

(Ed comes down. He looks like he is ready to cry.)

Ed: "Oh Ralph. It was terrible. That wasn't a blitzing loss. That was a BLOUTZING loss. I do have a suggestion for you Ralph. When you owe Joe the money, put MONOPOLY money in an envelope. He never said that he wanted green."

(Ralph looks at him funny.)

Ralph: "OOOOOOH, you are going to get it Norton. You are going to get it. I just hope that Joe forgets about it tomorrow."

(Next day, Ralph comes home with a black eye.)

Alice: "Ralph, what happened?"

Ralph: "I paid Joe in MONOPOLY money and he insulted me. I got into a hockey fight with him that looked like it should have been on the ice and lost because I have a BIIIIIIG mouth."

(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)

Jackie: "Thank you. The Miami Beach audiences are the GREATEST! GOOD NIGHT!"

(Audience cheers.)