AKA
12-18-2010, 12:50 AM
It was the autumn of 2000. Grandma, who had been a very active, independent, older woman, was starting to show signs of her age. She was 72 now; eight years into her retirement. Her busy social schedule was still there, but she was starting to... well, resemble an old lady. She was starting to shuffle when she walked and she wasn't as quick on the uptake as we'd known her to be.
After some persuasion from my mom and aunt, Grandma went to the doctor to get checked out.
It was Parkinson's.
When I was given the news, I didn't realize what I was in for. That's what Michael J. Fox has, I thought. She's going to shake a lot. That sucks, but she's going to be just fine.
Unfortunately, she wasn't fine. In Grandma's case, her Parkinson's symptoms were not only physical, but also cognitive. Over the next few years, I had to slowly say goodbye as different aspects of my beloved grandmother began to be shed away forever by this horrible disease.
First it was her wit, then her ability to drive, then the ability to live alone (I moved in with her for awhile to take care of her). Then she had to move to an assisted living retirement facility. Then that became too much, and she had to move in with my aunt and be taken care of 24/7. Then that became too much, and it was a dementia ward in a nursing home.
Even through all that, every once in awhile, the Grandma I knew as a child and young adult would turn on like a lightbulb in a fleeting moment of lucidity, and we could have a great conversation.
Toward the end, Grandma's dementia gave her Alzheimer's-like symptoms, and most of the time, she didn't know who we were.
I'm thankful that I was there for her; that we were given notice by the staff that it was only "a matter of days." It turned out to be about five. I spent all five of those in her room days by her bed. I got to say goodbye to her. She slept most of that time and had ceased to speak, but I know she knew I was there, that much of her family was there, and that we loved her very much. I kissed her goodbye and went home after 9 pm on Thursday night, and she went home at around 3 am Friday morning, December 18, 2009.
I loved my grandma very much, and not a day has gone by in the last 365 days that I haven't thought of her.
This is the video I made for her memorial service:
0Aq-eVUn68A
After some persuasion from my mom and aunt, Grandma went to the doctor to get checked out.
It was Parkinson's.
When I was given the news, I didn't realize what I was in for. That's what Michael J. Fox has, I thought. She's going to shake a lot. That sucks, but she's going to be just fine.
Unfortunately, she wasn't fine. In Grandma's case, her Parkinson's symptoms were not only physical, but also cognitive. Over the next few years, I had to slowly say goodbye as different aspects of my beloved grandmother began to be shed away forever by this horrible disease.
First it was her wit, then her ability to drive, then the ability to live alone (I moved in with her for awhile to take care of her). Then she had to move to an assisted living retirement facility. Then that became too much, and she had to move in with my aunt and be taken care of 24/7. Then that became too much, and it was a dementia ward in a nursing home.
Even through all that, every once in awhile, the Grandma I knew as a child and young adult would turn on like a lightbulb in a fleeting moment of lucidity, and we could have a great conversation.
Toward the end, Grandma's dementia gave her Alzheimer's-like symptoms, and most of the time, she didn't know who we were.
I'm thankful that I was there for her; that we were given notice by the staff that it was only "a matter of days." It turned out to be about five. I spent all five of those in her room days by her bed. I got to say goodbye to her. She slept most of that time and had ceased to speak, but I know she knew I was there, that much of her family was there, and that we loved her very much. I kissed her goodbye and went home after 9 pm on Thursday night, and she went home at around 3 am Friday morning, December 18, 2009.
I loved my grandma very much, and not a day has gone by in the last 365 days that I haven't thought of her.
This is the video I made for her memorial service:
0Aq-eVUn68A