What are some statements that have been made by people interviewed on UM that sounded funny or corny.

Here is my selection:

Kurt Sova Case

boys finding Kurt - "Is it a Dummy?" referring to Kurt's dead body.

Blind River Reststop Killings

Cop's Statement - “The fortunate situation here is that we do have a survivor. Gord McAllister survived his wounds, and hopefully, he can point out the killer someday.”

Just as simple as that. All Gord has to do is look in the 6 Billion People population and point the killer out.

Teenager Killing Spree:

Cop's Statement: "Why they choose to beat the old men...."

I just thought that statement was rather unprofessional. Cecil Morrison and his son were referred to nothing more than "Old Men". It just sounded corny when the cop said it.

Please contribute your selections.

The kids on the "magic rock" segment.

"Look! It has all the aspects of nature."

What kid says that? LOL

One of my favorites was the segment where that guy who was living with his parents said his wife was posessed by a ghost into a bout of rough sex, and laughing with a "laugh that wasn't hers." And the girl was all sheepish and supposedly not remembering it and stuff. His parents were in the living room when it occurred and could hear everything. HILARIOUS!:lol:

As a side note...can anyone tell me which segment that was? For the life of me, I can't remember which it was.

One of my favorites was the segment where that guy who was living with his parents said his wife was posessed by a ghost into a bout of rough sex, and laughing with a "laugh that wasn't hers." And the girl was all sheepish and supposedly not remembering it and stuff. His parents were in the living room when it occurred and could hear everything. HILARIOUS!:lol:

As a side note...can anyone tell me which segment that was? For the life of me, I can't remember which it was.

It's called "Lake Wales Haunting." Lake Wales, Florida. The Mann family find their ghost, "Isabella Kramer" isn't too happy that they are there. They sacrificed some snails and poured salt around the house, in addition to using what Sandra Mann referred to as the "You-wee-ja board". I always laugh at that segment, too.

Apo, you are the man. Thanks!

Just found and watched it on that site which will not be named and laughed my *** off, again. :D

Robert Stack is the greatest "A number of snails were sacrificed."

Apo, you are the man. Thanks!

Hehe thanks but FYI I'm female. :wave:

Cop's Statement - “The fortunate situation here is that we do have a survivor. Gord McAllister survived his wounds, and hopefully, he can point out the killer someday.”

Just as simple as that. All Gord has to do is look in the 6 Billion People population and point the killer out.

I think they were referring to Gordon McAllister identifying someone out of a mugshot book. Or if they captured someone, having Gord identify him out of a lineup.

Gord is a living eyeball witness. Something vary rare in murder cases. Gord is the key to solving this case. Should they find a suspect, they have a witness that can help convict him. They don't have DNA, fingerprints or a confession--but, they have an eyeball witness, which should be enough for conviction.
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I nominate nearly every word of dialog from nearly every character in the Sammy Wheeler segment.

From the Su Ya Kim segment: Joe Jones, the security officer who discovered her killer at the dumpster (where her body was dumped)...

I told him he couldn't dump here. He, like, hesitated a couple seconds. And he said, "Umm..what if I gave you $20.00?" So I said, "O.K." :lol:

"sure he did, sure he did...and i'm Michael Jordan and i play for the chicago bulls"

Hehe thanks but FYI I'm female. :wave:

:eek: Whoops. Then....you are the woman! :D

"sure he did, sure he did...and i'm Michael Jordan and i play for the chicago bulls"

That quote is VERY well-known on this board. We all love that Wheeler dude! Oh, and he also thinks that Pat Sneed is "not a very good looking woman". :lol:

So, here goes my corny line; "That man, he has jonathan.." I think that's close to it. my vote for fakest sounding line ever.

Ah, it's not really a statement, except if you count it multiplied times 50 within the interview. "Know what I'm sayin'?"

I always notice they use cliches over and over....How many segments did we hear "a lonely country road" or "a community in the best sense of the word." I mean, we could start a UM drinking game with some of those.

I always notice they use cliches over and over....How many segments did we hear "a lonely country road" or "a community in the best sense of the word." I mean, we could start a UM drinking game with some of those.

My God, totally! Or things like "but it was not to be."

Tara Breckinridge's stuttering, bumbling boyfriend, denying he harmed her.....He sounded guilty!

"I likes to live in a clean house!"

Paul Pollis, the most guiltiest looking guy in UM history!:D

"We're headed for a fate worse than the Roman Empire, I just know it."

"We're headed for a fate worse than the Roman Empire, I just know it."

That kid annoyed the hell out of me.

"El Sickos"

"A kook is what he is"

"A kook is what he is"

When Mr. Wacker said that, look closely at Mrs. Wacker's face and it looks like she's trying to hold back a laugh. Looks like she's going to burst out laughing!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Thiussat
"A kook is what he is"


When Mr. Wacker said that, look closely at Mrs. Wacker's face and it looks like she's trying to hold back a laugh. Looks like she's going to burst out laughing!

Hard to imagine she would be laughing at a situation involving her attempted murder and continued harrassment.

Maybe her laugh was for the fact that the story was made up.

Hard to imagine she would be laughing at a situation involving her attempted murder and continued harrassment.

Maybe her laugh was for the fact that the story was made up.

I know! That's what I was thinking! Next time you watch the Wacker's segment, watch closely and you'll see what I saw.

Well we can't forget the Bonnie Wilder segment. So many classic lines in that one. One is of course "you don't get lost in a crowd, when you are huge!" Also in the category of corny would be "its a new store, we can build it together".

If you watch the Frontera segment, specifically the scene with the actors playing Betty Thompson and her superior (respectively), if you listen under the real Betty Thompson's voice, you can hear her "boss" saying "You can kiss your career with the department of corrections goodbye. You're just not a team player!"

Cracks me up. That's right, you're just not a team player.

"I mean, in a week he can't get that fat." -Tommy Zaino (Son of Sam segment)

"Neither of us are Muhammad Ali...it was a lot of rollin' around on the floor, wrasslin' and a bunch of dumb stuff." -Curtis Heck (Kenneth Engie segment)

"You sorry weasel! Where have you been while everybody else was reading their Bibles?" -Tony freakin' Alamo

Here is a link to the quintessential thread on this topic -

http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=230201

Pages upon pages of unintentional UM hilarity at it's finest. I find myself going here if I ever need a good laugh, lol.

Yes, despite the serious nature of the show, UM did have a lot of unintentionally hilarious moments, a lot of them during the re-enactments which used two-bit actors or the "actual family members and police officials" who can't act in the first place.

There are so many funny lines but here is one I came across today...

"I hope 'em good luck" - a Bedford, Virginia resident on the subject of treasure hunters searching for Beale's lost gold circa 1988.

I love Robert Stack and I think UM will never be the same because there was just something about his voice.. but I have to admit, the way he used to say things would crack me up sometimes.
Like when he said the web address for unsolved mysteries "doubl-ya doubl-ya doubl-ya dot..."
Or like the case of that small town on the Washington State coast that got rained on with this weird substance that made everyone violently ill.
The way he described it as a "thick gelatinous goo."
Priceless stuff :) I hope someone else remembers that because I die laughing every time I watch it.

I loved the "tiny gobs of gelatinous goo" line, as well. I especially loved the way he said it. :D

yous sicko gonna pay!

I know!! I also hate it when the husband was like "It look-ed like a real shake".