OK, I dated a married guy (without knowing it first), I dated a guy who brought his mother along without my consent, and I've been stood up. This morning I learned that the guy I had the biggest crush on in college (which also ended badly when he took up with one of my girlfriends) is now in the process of getting a sex change operation.

My reaction to the news?

:eek2: :eek: :rofl: :brent

OK, I dated a married guy (without knowing it first), I dated a guy who brought his mother along without my consent, and I've been stood up. This morning I learned that the guy I had the biggest crush on in college (which also ended badly when he took up with one of my girlfriends) is now in the process of getting a sex change operation.

My reaction to the news?

:eek2: :eek: :rofl: :brent

Wow...up until the sex change, I was thinking your love life sounded a lot like mine. You have me beat though! :)

At least things didn't work out with the two of you or you could be posting that your husband was having a sex change. That would be MUCH worse!

Wow...up until the sex change, I was thinking your love life sounded a lot like mine. You have me beat though! :)

At least things didn't work out with the two of you or you could be posting that your husband was having a sex change. That would be MUCH worse!
I told my mom the same thing this morning, Billie. Then again, my parents never liked this guy anyway. :eek: :lol:

Yikes :eek:


Your love life sounds as complex as mine.


You wouldnt believe some of the characters I have dated :eek: :(

That's one of the reasons I love being single so much. Who needs all that crummy drama??

That's one of the reasons I love being single so much. Who needs all that crummy drama??


Not if you meet the right person. I havent met my Miss Right yet, but time will tell.

That's one of the reasons I love being single so much. Who needs all that crummy drama??
Actually, when a person finds the right person, the crummy drama usually ends. Anyway, looks like you dodged a bullet by not getting involved with this guy/girl? :lol:

Actually, when a person finds the right person, the crummy drama usually ends. Anyway, looks like you dodged a bullet by not getting involved with this guy/girl? :lol:
I know!! If this had happened 10 years ago, I'd be devastated. I haven't seen or heard from him in over 7 years, so now it's just funny. :lol:

That's one of the reasons I love being single so much. Who needs all that crummy drama??

Well, there go my plans for asking you out. Damn!!

Not if you meet the right person. I havent met my Miss Right yet, but time will tell.
Only time will tell!! For now, I'm happy with the way things are.

You sure know how to pick them. :lol: ;)

Wow, Monikia... that definitely takes the cake! Never a dull moment with any of your relationships. They would make for good TV movies. :lol: :lol:

Oh dear. :eek: :lol: Now THAT'S something you don't hear about everyday! :lol:

At least things didn't work out with the two of you or you could be posting that your husband was having a sex change. That would be MUCH worse!

:confused: What would be wrong with someone's husband getting a sex change?

Sex changes are great; I'm wholeheartedly in favour of them. It's wonderful that people who are unhappy with their gender can change to the sex they'd prefer to be.

:confused: What would be wrong with someone's husband getting a sex change?

Sex changes are great; I'm wholeheartedly in favour of them. It's wonderful that people who are unhappy with their gender can change to the sex they'd prefer to be.

I'm in favor of sex changes as well. However, I think that if you are gender confused you shouldn't be so quick to get married.

From what I understand these feelings happen at an early age or during the teenage years when hormones are growing. It's not something that a grown adult usually discovers or has feelings about. That's what I gather from reading about it and hearing from people who have gone through with it.

I don't think it's fair to the spouse should the person come and say that they want to get a sex change. I think you should be totally open about this before you both decide to get married.

From my own point of view it is hard. I'm trying to picture my wife coming to me and saying that she wants to become a man. I see that it's not an easy situation and I guess if you really love someone you have to make sacrifices. I really don't know what I would do if it were my spouse.

:confused: What would be wrong with someone's husband getting a sex change?

Sex changes are great; I'm wholeheartedly in favour of them. It's wonderful that people who are unhappy with their gender can change to the sex they'd prefer to be.

I consider myself to be pretty open-minded, but for me this would be a problem. If my husband came to me and said he wanted to be a woman I would be hurt that he had kept those feelings from me for so long and was willing to turn our world upside down to act on those feelings. I would feel like trust was broken and our relationship was a farce. That is why I said I think Monika was lucky not to have ended up with him.

I have no problem with transgendered people. I think it is a hard decision and one people make when they know deep in their heart they are not the person they were meant to be. I know there are couples out there who have lived happily after such an operation...good for them. I would not be happy though and would not be able to accept it. If that makes me closed-minded, so be it!

Wow, that's worse than the time my date stood me up because he had been arrested for writing bad checks :eek: :lol:

I consider myself to be pretty open-minded, but for me this would be a problem. If my husband came to me and said he wanted to be a woman I would be hurt that he had kept those feelings from me for so long and was willing to turn our world upside down to act on those feelings. I would feel like trust was broken and our relationship was a farce. That is why I said I think Monika was lucky not to have ended up with him.

I have no problem with transgendered people. I think it is a hard decision and one people make when they know deep in their heart they are not the person they were meant to be. I know there are couples out there who have lived happily after such an operation...good for them. I would not be happy though and would not be able to accept it. If that makes me closed-minded, so be it!
:yeahthat Exactly. If someone wants a sex change, then that's their business and their choice. I just wouldn't want to be involved in a romantic relationship with someone who wanted to get a sex change.

Lu, I never heard of your date being arrested. That's one thing that hasn't happened to me yet - being involved with someone who got arrested. :eek: :lol:

:yeahthat Exactly. If someone wants a sex change, then that's their business and their choice. I just wouldn't want to be involved in a romantic relationship with someone who wanted to get a sex change.

Lu, I never heard of your date being arrested. That's one thing that hasn't happened to me yet - being involved with someone who got arrested. :eek: :lol:

It was a blind date set up by a friend of mine, she's never allowed to do that again :lol:

It was a blind date set up by a friend of mine, she's never allowed to do that again :lol:
My first date was a blind date - right after I turned 16 back in 1995. It was so bad that the friend who set me up still apologizes for it to this day!! :eek: :lol:

Wow... that would be quite a shock, to say the least! :eek:

Wow... that would be quite a shock, to say the least! :eek:
It was...and then I just started to laugh. :lol:

My first date was a blind date - right after I turned 16 back in 1995. It was so bad that the friend who set me up still apologizes for it to this day!! :eek: :lol:
My first date was basically a blind date too, around the same time! I had zero interest in the guy and didn't even let him take me home. I think I ended up getting a bad rep after that.

Wow, Monikia... that definitely takes the cake! Never a dull moment with any of your relationships. They would make for good TV movies. :lol: :lol:

Ditto-that definitely takes the cake, and I've heard some pretty interesting dating stories. See..there's a reason for everything! This is why it never worked out with you and him (amongst other reasons). :lol:

That's one of the reasons I love being single so much. Who needs all that crummy drama??i dont love beeing single but some times i am greatful that at least i dont have to put up with the drama like you were saying

I consider myself to be pretty open-minded, but for me this would be a problem. If my husband came to me and said he wanted to be a woman I would be hurt that he had kept those feelings from me for so long and was willing to turn our world upside down to act on those feelings. I would feel like trust was broken and our relationship was a farce. That is why I said I think Monika was lucky not to have ended up with him.

I have no problem with transgendered people. I think it is a hard decision and one people make when they know deep in their heart they are not the person they were meant to be. I know there are couples out there who have lived happily after such an operation...good for them. I would not be happy though and would not be able to accept it. If that makes me closed-minded, so be it!

No, I can understand the way you feel. I would probably feel similarly to you. But, for those people who can stay happily married to their partners when they undergo a sex change, I see it as something positive.

Exactly. If someone wants a sex change, then that's their business and their choice. I just wouldn't want to be involved in a romantic relationship with someone who wanted to get a sex change.

Yes, I can see why. What is your view on sex change itself, though? Are you okay with it or do you think that people should remain as the gender they are born as?

I think if someone is really unhappy/not comfortable with their own sex then it's fine for them to change gender.

I consider myself to be pretty open-minded, but for me this would be a problem. If my husband came to me and said he wanted to be a woman I would be hurt that he had kept those feelings from me for so long and was willing to turn our world upside down to act on those feelings. I would feel like trust was broken and our relationship was a farce. That is why I said I think Monika was lucky not to have ended up with him.

I have no problem with transgendered people. I think it is a hard decision and one people make when they know deep in their heart they are not the person they were meant to be. I know there are couples out there who have lived happily after such an operation...good for them. I would not be happy though and would not be able to accept it. If that makes me closed-minded, so be it!

That was beautifully put, FactsFan!

I think the same thing could be said about going out with someone who turned out to be gay.

My best friend married this really nice guy back in 1992. She met him in the lobby of her dorm in college and they dated for about two years before they got married. She kept telling me that she wanted to have a baby, so when she called me about five years later, saying that she had some news, I thought she was going to tell me that she was pregnant. Instead she tells me that this guy filed for divorce and that he is gay. I'm terribly ashamed to admit that I laughed when she told me, but I know it was really hard on her. Thankfully she found another guy and they've been married for six years now. I've never met him but they have a beautiful daughter.

As for myself, I've only dated a handful of guys, one of which I married, and the worst thing that happened to me was actually pretty bad. Okay, before I tell you, keep in mind that I was completely naieve back then and basically desperate for a boyfriend. When I say desperate, I'm not exaggerating. Okay, I liked this guy that I worked with a whole lot. He was a courtesy clerk (ie' bagger) and I was a checker (ie: cashier) at a grocery store. We finally agreed to go out and on our first date, he told me that he smoked pot. Actually I think he had told me this before. I forget what we planned to do, but when I went to pick him up (yep, I drove), he told me that he wanted me to take him to his friend's house so they could get high. Yes, I'm ashamed to say that I actually did it. I didn't smoke or anything. No way would I ever do that. Anyway, we never did go wherever we had planned to, because then I ended up driving him and his stupid friend to some other person's house for a party. I left after that and while driving home I realized that it was way too early for me to be getting home. I had to talk to someone so I drove over to my best friend's house in tears. She and I went out for pizza and talked it over. It was a LONG time before I told my dad about this guy doing drugs, and thankfully he thought it was funny. I think that was way after we had broken up. This jackass actually broke up with ME because he said that people at work were talking about us. He never did thank me for giving him a ride home from work every day. What a moron...

Andrea

Yes, I can see why. What is your view on sex change itself, though? Are you okay with it or do you think that people should remain as the gender they are born as?

I think if someone is really unhappy/not comfortable with their own sex then it's fine for them to change gender.
Sex changes are one thing I never thought much about one way or the other. But if that's what they want to do, it's fine by me. Andrea, that's a horrible story - but it would make a great Seinfeld episode. :eek: :lol:

My first date was a blind date - right after I turned 16 back in 1995. It was so bad that the friend who set me up still apologizes for it to this day!! :eek: :lol:



I have been set up on a couple of blind dates by buddies that turned into a disaster. Maybe I should seek an apolgy out of them :D

Only time will tell!! For now, I'm happy with the way things are.

I know how you feel Monika.

I once dated a girl who eloped with someone. Her parents wanted her to date me and see what a man is supposed to do to a woman. Now she's disabled and then soon she took advantage of me when her 'husband' that her parents disapproved came back in her life. Well, I wanted to be more than friends with her...and she blew it (I was very tempted to call her a **** because she was acting like one).

I saw her at my cousin's wedding and I thought...It's better off that we'd be cousins.

PS-I'm going to give you a Message if that's okay.

^ Thank you, Paul. I'm just at the point where I'm happy just being unattached, free, and trying to learn more about myself. I'm not in the market to meet anyone at this point. But I appreciate yours and everyone else's support!! :D

Monika, all I can say is that it seems that you are the Female George Costanza of Dating!

I thought I had some dillies, but as far as I know, none of them have become female......that said, maybe a couple of them should have!! ;) :lol:

Monika, all I can say is that it seems that you are the Female George Costanza of Dating!

I thought I had some dillies, but as far as I know, none of them have become female......that said, maybe a couple of them should have!! ;) :lol:
See what I mean about enjoying being single?? :lol:

See what I mean about enjoying being single?? :lol:


I do my friend! I went through the same thing and finally decided the hell with it, I was perfectly happy as it was living with my mom and kitties and just doing what I do when and where I wanted to do it. And that's when someone usually does come along. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. I swear it has something to do with sending off an unconcious aura about yourself that automatically makes you more attractive. Sooner or later someone "normal" HAS to show up - it's just logical odds! Until then, write this stuff down cuz millions of women have made lots of money from books, videos and movies of their disasterous dating and relationship history. ;)

Wow, that's worse than the time my date stood me up because he had been arrested for writing bad checks :eek: :lol:


Don't tell me his name was Mark and knows Janice Johnston!!!!! :eek: :eek: :lol:

I do my friend! I went through the same thing and finally decided the hell with it, I was perfectly happy as it was living with my mom and kitties and just doing what I do when and where I wanted to do it. And that's when someone usually does come along. I know it sounds cliche, but it's true. I swear it has something to do with sending off an unconcious aura about yourself that automatically makes you more attractive. Sooner or later someone "normal" HAS to show up - it's just logical odds! Until then, write this stuff down cuz millions of women have made lots of money from books, videos and movies of their disasterous dating and relationship history. ;)
I figured out a while back that I would focus on other things and let God do the choosing if He has someone in mind for me. I wish I'd done that years ago - I would daydream about these jerks and I let my schoolwork go by the wayside. How often I've wished I could go back and do it all over again.

I'm not in the market to meet anyone at this point. But I appreciate yours and everyone else's support!! :D

So there's no chance for us? ;)

So there's no chance for us? ;)
Sorry, but I appreciate the thought. :lol:

Don't tell me his name was Mark and knows Janice Johnston!!!!! :eek: :eek: :lol:

:brent :rofl:

:brent :rofl:
I notice you're not saying either way, Lu. :lol:

Sorry, but I appreciate the thought. :lol:

I tried..:D

In seriousness, people shouldn't feel rushed or like they "have" to settle down. It's your life and others shouldn't control it.

Hope you don't mind my frankness but you're hot and you also have a nice personality. You should have no problem finding someone. When they come along they'll come along.

You guys are just too sweet. I appreciate the support and kind words. :D

:lol:

Everyone always said to me when I was single that the right person will come along when you least expect it. I never ever believed them and thought it was just a crock, but seriously, it's true. I went to a singles class at a church back in 1993. I'd been going on and off but stopped for a long time after my dad's sudden death in 1992. My mom urged me to go again and once I started meeting some friends, I stuck with it. Lo and behold, my soon to be boyfriend/fiance/husband was there and we struck up a conversation. Seriously, I wasn't expecting any of this to happen. I really kind of liked this other guy (who was really nerdy-and I think I was just desperate), and had planned on asking him out. Instead my husband and I had gone with our singles class to lunch one Sunday after church. When we finished, we stood outside in the parking lot talking to our best friends (another couple). They left and we stayed there talking. There was a lull in the conversation, and I had a coupon for mini golf. I was about to ask "this guy" if he wanted to go and I am not kidding, about two seconds before I opened my mouth to ask him, he says "Do you want to go see a movie sometime?" :eek2: If there was ever a moment to be speechless, that was it. That was fate... No other way to describe it. :love: We dated for three years from June of 1993-June of 1996, when we got married! :eyes:

Andrea

^ Terrific story, Andrea. My parents also met through a singles group at church.

Wow, you definitely topped on the weirdest dating stories.

When I was single I went on 2 blind dates, after the second I decided to never allowe people to pick/set me up on dates. I never had any major dating horror stories.
Blind dates have worked out for some people, that's how my parents met. They'll be celebrating their 50th next year.

But, I do agree that the best way is just to let things happen and it will come if it does. I didn't get married because of any pressure, or I thought it was something I had to do, I just knew at the time it's what we both wanted, and 14 years later we're still extremely happy.
I have a friend who is 41, never been married and his happy with his life, and he says if it happens it happens, if not, it doesn't.

^ That's exactly what I mean. I'm letting the chips fall where they may. I'd rather wait for steak than settle for hamburger. :cool:

^ That's exactly what I mean. I'm letting the chips fall where they may. I'd rather wait for steak than settle for hamburger. :cool:

That's my friend's attitude. A couple of the other married couples in our social circle seem to think that it's now their duty to set him up, and find the future mate for him. I always think to myself "Leave him alone, he's happier than you are!":lol:

^ Fix-ups work once in awhile, but that's the exception to the rule. My first date, a fix-up, wasn't completely right in the head. Later, he got busted for indecent exposure (thankfully, I wasn't there)! :eek: :lol:

^ Fix-ups work once in awhile, but that's the exception to the rule. My first date, a fix-up, wasn't completely right in the head. Later, he got busted for indecent exposure (thankfully, I wasn't there)! :eek: :lol:

:eek: You almost have to do a background check before going on a date.

Wow Monika, you've had some very unusual dates through the years. I'm not going to see your story on one of those talk shows, am I? lol! Hopefully your dates will get better in the near future.

Wow Monika, you've had some very unusual dates through the years. I'm not going to see your story on one of those talk shows, am I? lol! Hopefully your dates will get better in the near future.
I sure hope they won't be on the talk shows (unless I get a bunch of dough for selling my story)!! :eek: :lol:

:eek: You almost have to do a background check before going on a date.
You're not kidding!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

My friend from church (who is this guy-turned-girl's parents' next-door neighbor), just saw my former crush. When I asked how my former crush looked as a woman, she just looked at me, chuckled a bit and said, "not bad". :lol:

My friend from church (who is this guy-turned-girl's parents' next-door neighbor), just saw my former crush. When I asked how my former crush looked as a woman, she just looked at me, chuckled a bit and said, "not bad". :lol:
Monika. I'm surprised we haven't seen you on Jerry Springer! I bet you could make big dough selling your life story to a soap opera. Seriously, I'm glad you survived all those bad experiences and can laugh about them now.

Monika. I'm surprised we haven't seen you on Jerry Springer! I bet you could make big dough selling your life story to a soap opera. Seriously, I'm glad you survived all those bad experiences and can laugh about them now.
Seeing as my job ends on Friday - I really could use the dough!! :eek: :lol:

That tops anything of mine, but I do seem to attract weird people. From the guy on the police tether who had a crush on me. To be fair he was very up front about it but still. :eek: To the guy who wanted to date me who seriously looked older than my father. :barf:

That tops anything of mine, but I do seem to attract weird people. From the guy on the police tether who had a crush on me. To be fair he was very up front about it but still. :eek: To the guy who wanted to date me who seriously looked older than my father. :barf:
YIKES!! :eek: :eek: :eek:

For me its getting to the point that if I go out on a date again, the date will have to give me instructions on what to do. Yeah its been that long :(

It's been over 2 years since my last date and it doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. I'm still looking for my real life Trapper ;)

It's been over 2 years since my last date and it doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. I'm still looking for my real life Trapper ;)
We'll find our guys. They have to be out there somewhere :)

We'll find our guys. They have to be out there somewhere :)
Like I said before, it's better to wait for steak than settle for hamburger (or even worse, Hamburger Helper! :lol:).

I still think like Helen from Wings does, that all the good men are married or gay.

Not if you meet the right person. I havent met my Miss Right yet, but time will tell.

I have a bumper sticker on my car that reads "Waiting for Mr. Right", and it's a picture of a skelton in a dress sitting on a park bench with cobwebs hanging off it.

Yikes, Monika, I thought it was bad when one of the ex-boyfriends turned gay after we broke up!(not that there's anything wrong with being gay, mind you).

I still think like Helen from Wings does, that all the good men are married or gay.



Well around here the good women are either married or over 50. :D



Where does that leave me?

Wow...up until the sex change, I was thinking your love life sounded a lot like mine. You have me beat though! :)

At least things didn't work out with the two of you or you could be posting that your husband was having a sex change. That would be MUCH worse!
:rofl:

I consider myself to be pretty open-minded, but for me this would be a problem. If my husband came to me and said he wanted to be a woman I would be hurt that he had kept those feelings from me for so long and was willing to turn our world upside down to act on those feelings. I would feel like trust was broken and our relationship was a farce. That is why I said I think Monika was lucky not to have ended up with him.

I have no problem with transgendered people. I think it is a hard decision and one people make when they know deep in their heart they are not the person they were meant to be. I know there are couples out there who have lived happily after such an operation...good for them. I would not be happy though and would not be able to accept it. If that makes me closed-minded, so be it!
I don't think that makes you closed-minded at all! I wholeheartedly agree. If a person has these transgender issues and is thinking about the operation, they ABSOLUTELY do not need to be in a serious relationship with another person or possibly making plans to marry another person or be married to another person without having been one-hundred percent honest about it from the get-go. That is a completely unfair thing to do to the boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse involved. If a gender-confused person is going to be in a marriage, they owe their spouse one-hundred percent honesty on the issue before agreeing to get married in the first place. It is entirely unfair for a husband or a wife to just be going about their business, living their day-to-day life, when all of the sudden one day their spouse comes up to them out of the blue and says, "I want a sex change" and wants to change their relationship from a straight relationship to a homosexual one when the husband or wife entered into the union years ago believing they were entering into a straight relationship that would last for the rest of their lives. And all of this goes without even mentioning the impact such a decision would have on the person's kids! :eek: I for one would be TOTALLY freaked if, for example, my father said to me as a kid, "I'm not going to be your father anymore. I'm getting the operation. I'm going to be your mother from now on and you're still going to have your original mother. Now you're going to have two mothers and no father." :eek: Like Jo would say on The Facts of Life, gimme a break!!!

I had lunch with my friend today - who was the neighbor of my one-time friend (and one-time guy). I learned from her today that the family put their home of 40+ years on the market and moved to North Carolina. But I have no hard feelings - it was a long time ago and I've moved on.