Now don't get me wrong, I'm not satisfied with where I'm at and will definitely makes changes to hopefully improve my life, but I think her words make alot of sense. What do you think?? And you can be completely honest. I won't get offended.

Her email to me:

Hi Bradley:

I just wanted to explain a few things that might make you feel a little better about your illness and the way you feel.

You have an illness. If all the medication doesn't make you 'normal', then you need to be at peace with that. Remember the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: courage to change the things I can: and wisdom to know the difference.

What if I was suddenly blind. That is an illness. I can no longer work, no long bring in an income, no longer do all the things I could do before, but I'M
BLIND. My family and friends won't love me less.

Even though you had a small taste of life outside your room, it was temporary. If you need to stay in Carmen's house, you need to be at peace with that.
I don't love you less, the rest of us don't love you less. We aren't disappointed! What if your life was
my life. Would you feel less about me when I was still ill with my social disorder? Would you be disappointed that I wasn't able to go to work everyday? Would you hate me for wanting to just stay in my room?

I'm just trying to let you know, you are you, you need to not be so hard on yourself. I wish you could be at peace in your skin. I had a panic attack
when after my first divorce everyone told me to get into real estate. I had to lay in the tub with cold water running on me or I was going to pass out.

I right then and there told myself, if I was going to be this upset just thinking about real estate on my own, then don't do it. I was better immediately.
This is your life Bradley. No one else's. Like I tell mom, Colleen. Like the movie with Sigorney Weaver where she couldn't leave her house, no one thought badly of her. She would just say I have a phobia or disorder. People need to take it or leave it.

You can be thankful you have a room to go to that is yours. You have a computer. Your on line friends. Be happy with that. I don't know what else to say. You were born with this social disorder just as I was born needing glasses. You aren't useless. You give everyone around joy and love. You have a sense of humor. You make me
laugh anytime we are together. Your self worth isn't a job, how much money you make. Like I said,
if I lost both my arms, my life would be completely different. But I hope I would have the attitude to
live my life the best I could with what I had.

I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
I need to get back to work. I love you. Just live.....
this is all we have. I would actually love to be able to sit here at the computer all day!

I think your aunt is a very smart lady and she obviously loves you very much. Take her words to heart and know that she respects and supports your decisions!

I think that is very nice. I'm glad you have such a supporting family member.

Your aunt sounds awesome! And very wise. :) These are great words to live by.

Great advice. I just love common sense. She's not telling you to stop trying, but to realize when it's beyond your capabilities. Your aunt loves you a great deal. I wish I had a family member who loved me enough to write something so personal, loving and caring to me. You're a lucky man. So many people love you.

That is very good advice from your aunt.

Man, she said it perfectly Brad!! As Janice says, she's not saying to give up on life - just to enjoy what it is. If it is/was something you can change, and you really want to, then at some point you will. If it's something you can't change, then try to accept it and make the best of it.

And she's totally right - if you can't get out of your room, that doesn't make your life worthless at all. If you were out of your room, probably none of us would know you - or at least not as well and where would we be? You're as valuable to us and we are to you.

I get out and all, but I know my life has improved knowing you're in it.

What a fantastic aunt and person Brad! Don't ever feel badly about your illness Brad. The more of us who stand up to society and let them know that mental illness is just the same as another illness, but it affects the brain the more society will get used to it and stop the stigma attached. I know I've shocked a few people with what I've gone through, but I'm not ashamed of it - I didn't bring any of it on myself so why should I be? You shouldn't be either. Your aunt rocks! I'd copy that to a powerpoint file and fancy it up, print it and hang it on my wall if I were you. ;)

I think your Aunt is being very intelligent here, Brad. I agree with what everyone else is saying here... you gotta live your life with what you have, and you gotta do the best you can with it... Don't try to be something you're not. Enjoy the wonderful person that we all know as Brad, and don't be so hard on yourself. :)

:hug:

Thanks for the input guys, as well as for the nice things you said about my Aunt. :D You guys are right, she is a very intelligent woman, who always has good and practical advice. I have to admit, when I first read this email I didn't know what to make of it. In a way I thought she was telling me to stay the way I am, but upon a couple more readings, and with your guys' reassurance I now know that that's not what she was saying. She's basically telling me that right now my circumstances are as they are, and instead of tormenting myself over it, I need to accept it for what it is. She wasn't saying not to improve and get better, but just to deal with what I'm going through right now, and not worry about what others think, and try to just be content where I'm at. I think that's the basic message anyway. lol!! Thanks again for your input guys'. I plan on putting her words into practice, I really do. :)

I will echo and say your aunt sounds like a very wise, sweet, intelligent woman. You are lucky to have one like her!

I will echo and say your aunt sounds like a very wise, sweet, intelligent woman. You are lucky to have one like her!

Thanks alot, I really appreciate that. I'm seeing what you're saying more and more each time I talk to her. I know many people don't even get along with their aunt's, and uncle's, and so I realize how fortunate I am to have her!!

Your Big Bro here says :thumbsup:

Thanks alot, I really appreciate that. I'm seeing what you're saying more and more each time I talk to her. I know many people don't even get along with their aunt's, and uncle's, and so I realize how fortunate I am to have her!!


Is she your mom's sister Brad?

I agree with what everyone else had to say. I think that your aunt is a wise woman, Brad. :)

Is she your mom's sister Brad?

Yep, she's my mom's older sister who we visited in Arizona earlier this year. My mom also has a half sister, and a brother.

Thanks Jude and Mike!! :) This is the first time I've ever posted a person's email to me on the boards, but I just thought it was real interesting, and was curious to hear what you all thought of it.

What a wonderful Aunt you have Brad. She is smart and very wise and I can tell that she loves you very much. :)

K... tried this once, then this stupid website died.

Anyway...I wish my family would say they were okay with me being the way I am. But they're not. My great-grandmother once told my mom that I was hopeless and would never get married. Sadly, she was right. My aunt thinks I'm a loser because my job isn't full time. My grandmother thinks I'm a loser because I didn't go into journalism. I have no family that actually cares. You are lucky, Brad.

She put it very well. Sounds like a very wise and caring person. I really agree with what she said.

K... tried this once, then this stupid website died.

Anyway...I wish my family would say they were okay with me being the way I am. But they're not. My great-grandmother once told my mom that I was hopeless and would never get married. Sadly, she was right. My aunt thinks I'm a loser because my job isn't full time. My grandmother thinks I'm a loser because I didn't go into journalism. I have no family that actually cares. You are lucky, Brad.

I really am sorry that your family is that way towards you Cathy. It's not fair at all. The more I hear stories about families that just don't get it, or that just don't give a ****, it really makes a person like me realize how lucky I truly am. So many families look down on the people in their lives with mental illness, and what's sad is that they would never treat someone with a physical disability that way. The mentally ill are some of the most discriminated against people on earth, and that's a fact. I'm one of the lucky ones, because not only do I have family, but great friends who understand, or who atleast try to understand my conditions. I wish there were something I could say or do to make you feel better, but I know my options are kind of limited. I guess all I can do is be there for you if you ever need someone with similar problems to talk to, and to pray for you, which I will. I know it's not much, but I certainly am here for you anytime you need a friend. No b.s., just the truth. :)

My Aunt and I are having a falling out, after being really close for awhile. I think you're aunt is very smart, knows a lot and really cares about and loves you Brad. I agree with her, that you shouldn't put it on yourself. You were dealt the cards you were dealt. I think you flipped the cards, because you are a really good person and friend, but don't put anything on yourself that's out of your reach. Nothing of what is happened is your fault, and some things are just going to happen, no matter what you do.

Brad, your aunt is a lady with a good head on her shoulders and a strong, loving heart beating in her chest. I wish everyone had an aunt as cool as yours!

What she told you makes a whole lot of sense. I suggest very strongly that you save it someplace in your permanent e-mail folder and, whenever you feel down, open it up and read it. It's a message straight from her heart to yours - I know that sometimes it's really hard to deal with the cards you've been dealt in life (trust me - I've been there myself), but I think she is trying to give you the building blocks to someday turn it into a winning hand.

I say...GO FOR IT!

K... tried this once, then this stupid website died.

Anyway...I wish my family would say they were okay with me being the way I am. But they're not. My great-grandmother once told my mom that I was hopeless and would never get married. Sadly, she was right. My aunt thinks I'm a loser because my job isn't full time. My grandmother thinks I'm a loser because I didn't go into journalism. I have no family that actually cares. You are lucky, Brad.

:rolleyes: Maybe we're related. That's too bad :(

I have an OK family. I'm not really close to them except my parents, one of my aunts and her husband and an uncle. The rest are no-goods or get on my nerves. Actually my parents don't talk to a lot of their family. However, I don't think I would ever tell them about my personal issues (I don't really tell anybody). The ones I get along with are nice, but can be judgemental. I just don't go in to my mental issues with anybody. Who knows what they may say about me, they're behind your back type people. Oh well, I don't care. :rolleyes:

OK, I'm done hijacking! Back to this wonderful lady!

Brad, your aunt is a lady with a good head on her shoulders and a strong, loving heart beating in her chest. I wish everyone had an aunt as cool as yours!

What she told you makes a whole lot of sense. I suggest very strongly that you save it someplace in your permanent e-mail folder and, whenever you feel down, open it up and read it. It's a message straight from her heart to yours - I know that sometimes it's really hard to deal with the cards you've been dealt in life (trust me - I've been there myself), but I think she is trying to give you the building blocks to someday turn it into a winning hand.

I say...GO FOR IT!

Thank you Sonny, Ashlee, Kyle, and Joni. I will be sure to tell her how cool you all think she is. :cool: I got her permission to post this, and so I know she'll enjoy all the nice comments. I'm also hoping that just maybe this message will help others look at things a bit differentely. That would be cool. I know what you mean about dealing with the cards you've been dealt. Sometimes I wish I could re-shuffle my deck. :lol: But seriously, I know alot of people are dealing with major issues in their lives, some physical, some mental, and some probably both. I try to use friends that deal with their afflictions so graciously, and use them as an example in dealing with my own problems. I usually fail in that regard, but I certainly do get strength from my friends. Hopefully all of us with afflictions will get better together. That's my hope!! :D

I really am sorry that your family is that way towards you Cathy. It's not fair at all. The more I hear stories about families that just don't get it, or that just don't give a ****, it really makes a person like me realize how lucky I truly am. So many families look down on the people in their lives with mental illness, and what's sad is that they would never treat someone with a physical disability that way. The mentally ill are some of the most discriminated against people on earth, and that's a fact. I'm one of the lucky ones, because not only do I have family, but great friends who understand, or who atleast try to understand my conditions. I wish there were something I could say or do to make you feel better, but I know my options are kind of limited. I guess all I can do is be there for you if you ever need someone with similar problems to talk to, and to pray for you, which I will. I know it's not much, but I certainly am here for you anytime you need a friend. No b.s., just the truth. :)
You're so sweet. :hug:


I'm lucky that my mom gets it. My dad doesn't...he tries I think, but he just can't understand.

:rolleyes: Maybe we're related. That's too bad :(

I have an OK family. I'm not really close to them except my parents, one of my aunts and her husband and an uncle. The rest are no-goods or get on my nerves. Actually my parents don't talk to a lot of their family. However, I don't think I would ever tell them about my personal issues (I don't really tell anybody). The ones I get along with are nice, but can be judgemental. I just don't go in to my mental issues with anybody. Who knows what they may say about me, they're behind your back type people. Oh well, I don't care. :rolleyes:

OK, I'm done hijacking! Back to this wonderful lady!
My long lost brother! :hug:

I'm only close to my parents and I guess one aunt. I don't mind most of them, but I have some that are just...UGH. I have a pretty small family anyway.

You're so sweet. :hug:


I'm lucky that my mom gets it. My dad doesn't...he tries I think, but he just can't understand.

I'm glad that your mom gets it, and I pray that your dad comes around too. My dad was the tough one in my family as well. For years he just thought I was a bad kid, but he understands now. I hope the same happens with your father!! :heart:

:bighug:

My long lost brother! :hug:

I'm only close to my parents and I guess one aunt. I don't mind most of them, but I have some that are just...UGH. I have a pretty small family anyway.Hiya sis!! :bighug:

You're lucky to have a small family. Mine, on my dad's side, is just too big. :rolleyes: I don't have severe mental problems, my mom understands but my dad doesn't really. He doesn't bother me about it anyway.

Little Mel: do you get to talk to your aunt much on the phone? She sounds like she would be a good person to talk to on a regular basis.

Very nice e-mail from your aunt! She must love you a lot!

That's worded really great and you can tell your aunt truly cares about you. She seems to have such a great outlook on life. She's right though. Cherish what you have. I like how she mentioned online friends. You have a surplus of those here, lol. We really do care about you, and you add a lot to the site. I think you inherited the family trait of being wise. I've seen you give some great advice to a lot of people here. So, in shorter words, I agree with what she said. If you ever need to talk, you can always PM me. :)

I'm with everyone-your aunt sounds like an amazing person. You can really tell she cares about you, deeply cares about you. Consider yourself very lucky for having such wonderful family. She's given you great advice. Take it in and don't forget it! I completely agree with her. :)