If you were invited to a birthday party and then uninvited through no fault of your own would you forgive the friend who invited and then uninvited you?

Edit: See post #22 in this thread for more details and latest situation.

I would forgive because it is the Christian thing to do

I wouldn't, Jenny. Chrissy needs to apologize to you first.

I would forgive because it is the Christian thing to do

It is. However, this isn't the first time that Jenny is been treated this way by this person.

forgiving is the christian thing to do however when people keep treating you the same way over and over, you make a doormat out of yourself and set yourself up for future disappointment. she sounds very self absorbed and you don't need fairweather friends in your life.

Time to let go. :( She's a terrible friend. I know it's not easy, as you and Chrissy go way back, and have a shared history. Still, she's changed, and not for the better. A friend doesn't do the things that Chrissy does. You're a wonderful person, and she takes you for granted. Ditching you last year was unforgiveable, and now uninviting you to her son's party is simply disgusting. Whatever you decide Jenny, I'll be here for you. I was looking for the option, Kick the biotch to the curb, on the Poll, but couldn't find it. As I told you on the phone last night, You don't deserve Chrissy, and she definitely doesn't deserve you.

Forgive, because holding a grudge will make you miserable, then move on. You'll find other friends who actually care about you and treat you with respect :)

based on the responses here, no, i wouldn't forgive someone who repeatedly excluded me. no one hurts me for free.

I think it depends what you mean by "forgive." If it simply means to just accept the way she's treating you and still be her friend, then I would say, based on what little I've heard, that you should probably drop the friendship.

If by "forgive" you simply mean to not harbour intense bad feelings for her, then I would go with the forgiving option - i.e. neither dislike or like her.

So basically, I would say don't hate her - but don't bother trying to keep up the friendship either.

If you were invited to a party and then uninvited through no fault of your own would you forgive the friend who invited and then uninvited you?

Is there a reason for you being uninvited?

Is this the same one that got mad at you for political reasons?

First I would find out why I was uninvited. In the end I would forgive, but depending on the circumstances I am no so sure if I would remain friends with that person.

Forgiving is one thing but continuing this friendship is another. She doesn't appreciate you Jenny. This isn't the first time that she's treated you like this. Friends are supposed to stand by each other...they're not supposed to make you feel bad. You deserve more than this....you really do.

Jenny you need to forgive Chrissy for you're own sake regardless of wether your friendship will continue in the future or not. Otherwise you will be dragging this baggage around with you for who knows how long. And as Lauren said holding a grudge will only make you miserable.

I'm not a forgiving person. People like her don't deserve it.

I'd say it depends on two things: one, the history of the "friend" and two, any outside circumstances.

My sister actually backed out of having three of her friends in her wedding (her husband has no friends). They were ticked off, but got over it. They just chalked it up to her being a Bridezilla. The wedding's over, all is well.

But that's a unique situation. If there aren't other factors involved - the friend is uninviting just to be nasty - then I'd think long and hard about wanting that person in my life.

Forgive, but don't forget.

Thank you to everyone that posted. I appreciate your thoughts and words.

I was invited to Chrissy's son's first birthday party. The reason I was uninvited to was because she claimed that there were a limited number of invitations. I'm not sure I believe that. Last year while pregnant she one day sent me an e-mail telling me that she could no longer be friends with me because she was having a baby. Then she turned around and said she was wrong.

Janice, thank you. I appreciate your help. :) Thanks for chatting with me on the phone. Thanks for lending an ear and your opinion.

Thank you to everyone that posted. I appreciate your thoughts and words.

I was invited to Chrissy's son's first birthday party. The reason I was uninvited to was because she claimed that there were a limited number of invitations. I'm not sure I believe that. Last year while pregnant she one day sent me an e-mail telling me that she could no longer be friends with me because she was having a baby. Then she turned around and said she was wrong.

Janice, thank you. I appreciate your help. :) Thanks for chatting with me on the phone. Thanks for lending an ear and your opinion.

Hmmm.... maybe you should stop being friends with her...

I don't know how feasible this is, but maybe you could try having a talk with her about your friendship and find out if it really means anything to her. It sounds as though she doesn't value your friendship as much. If there was some way you could discuss the issue and you told her how you felt and asked for her honest feelings, then you could decide whether or not to continue the friendship based on what she said.

I say forgive her becuase it's the Christian thing to do, but dump her and move on. Find some people who are worthy of your time.

Don't forgive her. She's burned you before. If it were me, I'd burn her by dropping her like a rock.

Last year while pregnant she one day sent me an e-mail telling me that she could no longer be friends with me because she was having a baby. Then she turned around and said she was wrong

Jenny, that's the biggest load of -- well, I won't make TJ moderate my posting -- but that is ludicrous. No one (at least no one within their right mind) would stop a friendship because of a pregnancy. My best friend recently had a baby, and during her pregnancy I was the one that was there. Now granted, her fiancee was in Iraq, but I was the one who went shopping, lamaze class, all that jazz. A pregnancy is when you need friends the most, not when you decide not to have them. Her excuse to stop a friendship is just that... an excuse. She sounds extremely unstable to me, and my advice is to drop her right now. She's looking for reasons to end a friendship, and that's never a good sign. Leave her now, and when she comes crawling back, don't take her calls.

Here is the background to the situation from last year when Chrissy said she couldn't be friends with me because she was pregnant. Then she changed her mind. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=219558&highlight=Tough+Offline+Situation

The most recent thing:
Chrissy and I talked about going to lunch tomorrow. Her birthday is coming up this month. She asked me to pay for her lunch. She said if I won't pay then we can eat lunch here at my house. She's expecting me to pay. If it were another friend I wouldn't mind, but it just seems like she's taking me for granted. I'm not feeling well (stomach) so I just sent her an e-mail asking her if she and I can have lunch another day.

You ought to be declared a saint for putting up with her. She does not sound like much of a friend to me. True friends do not treat each other the way she treats you.

She is not a true friend. I cannot imagine a friend saying "lets go out to lunch but you have to pay for me." If you went to lunch and you volunteered to pay for her birthday, that would be one thing. But for her to insist is ridiculous and actually down-right rude! Plus you don't even feel up to going. I think you should call her and tell her you are "uninviting" her to lunch because you have a "limited" number of people you let take advantage of you and she didn't make the cut!

Here is the background to the situation from last year when Chrissy said she couldn't be friends with me because she was pregnant. Then she changed her mind. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=219558&highlight=Tough+Offline+Situation

The most recent thing:
Chrissy and I talked about going to lunch tomorrow. Her birthday is coming up this month. She asked me to pay for her lunch. She said if I won't pay then we can eat lunch here at my house. She's expecting me to pay. If it were another friend I wouldn't mind, but it just seems like she's taking me for granted. I'm not feeling well (stomach) so I just sent her an e-mail asking her if she and I can have lunch another day.

First she treats you like absolute crap a few months ago, NOW she expects you to either pay for lunch or make it yourself at your own house?? :confused: I find that incredibly rude, and definitely would not have remained friends with her for this long. But it's up to you, Jenny. You seem like a loyal and kind friend, and Chrissy certainly isn't treating you as such.

You're only treated as badly as you allow others to treat you.:rolleyes:

Here is the background to the situation from last year when Chrissy said she couldn't be friends with me because she was pregnant. Then she changed her mind. http://www.sitcomsonline.com/boards/showthread.php?t=219558&highlight=Tough+Offline+Situation

The most recent thing:
Chrissy and I talked about going to lunch tomorrow. Her birthday is coming up this month. She asked me to pay for her lunch. She said if I won't pay then we can eat lunch here at my house. She's expecting me to pay. If it were another friend I wouldn't mind, but it just seems like she's taking me for granted. I'm not feeling well (stomach) so I just sent her an e-mail asking her if she and I can have lunch another day.
Jenny ,friends are supposed to be there for each other. They're supposed to support each other and make you feel good. All Chrissy seems to do is make you feel bad. You deserve better than that.

I let Chrissy know that I'm not feeling up to doing lunch tomorrow. So lunch has been canceled for tomorrow.

I can't believe that she would only go to lunch with you if you would pay. That's just insane. I think you really need to have a serious talk with Chrissy concerning how she is treating you. She isn't being much of a friend.

I haven't bought her anything from the store for her birthday. If she's expecting a birthday gift, she's out of luck. Every year I get her gifts for bday's and xmas and she doesn't get me anything. Chrissy's the type of person who would expect a gift on top of having her lunch paid for. Ugh.

She doesn't sound like a true friend. Forgive her and move on, nothing says you have to stay close just do your own thing.

Forgive me Family Ties if I am speaking out of turn, but this so called friend sounds like a rat to me.

From what you have told us about her, it seems like Chrissy expects you to put all the effort into your friendship, and she doesn't think of giving anything in return.

With any kind of relationship, be it friendship or a romantic relationship, both people have to put the effort in to make it work. It doesn't sound like your friend is doing this.

If you haven't done so already, I would advise you to tell her how you feel. If her behaviour doesn't improve then you might want to reconsider whether you really want to remain friends with her.

She is not a true friend. I cannot imagine a friend saying "lets go out to lunch but you have to pay for me." If you went to lunch and you volunteered to pay for her birthday, that would be one thing. But for her to insist is ridiculous and actually down-right rude! Plus you don't even feel up to going. I think you should call her and tell her you are "uninviting" her to lunch because you have a "limited" number of people you let take advantage of you and she didn't make the cut!

:yeahthat :lol:

Jenny, let me talk to you like your sis for a moment:

DROP HER! Sweetie, she's totally taking advantage of you, and just wants your friendship for what she can get out of it. That's not a friend, that's a leech. Now I know you want to see the good in her, but trust me, there isn't enough there to bother. You drop her right now, do you hear me?

:rant:

I echo what the others have said. Get rid of that tumor. She's just going to keep on taking over your life, and not in a good way.

Just get up and walk away from this. YOU CAN DO IT, JEN. :)

You ought to be declared a saint for putting up with her. She does not sound like much of a friend to me. True friends do not treat each other the way she treats you.
Agreed. Who flat out tells a person to pay for them?? If my dad ever saw me do something like that, he'd disown me.

I haven't bought her anything from the store for her birthday. If she's expecting a birthday gift, she's out of luck. Every year I get her gifts for bday's and xmas and she doesn't get me anything. Chrissy's the type of person who would expect a gift on top of having her lunch paid for. Ugh.
Ugh is right. She sounds like she completely skipped out on manners when she was a kid.