Some of you may remember that last fall I was interested in a girl named Kelly that I worked with. Over the last couple of years I've had feelings for quite a few girls, but my feelings for them were minor compared to my feelings for Kelly. My feelings for Kelly went beyond that of a simple crush. I think after a while I was truly in love with her.

Kelly also had feelings for me. One would think than that her and I would have ended up together. However, like a lot of things in life, it wasn't that simple. Kelly and I did not end up together. You would think if two people have feelings for one another, then it's fate. However, sometimes there are complications.

Deciding that a relationship between Kelly and I was not going to work, and that it was best to walk away, was one of the most difficult decision that I ever had to make. It also hurt our friendship. Her and I almost never talk anymore. The decision also hurt the friendship between a mutual friend of Kelly and mine. Kelly's best friend, infact.

One of the reasons I was away for Lent was to try to come to terms with why things didn't work out between her and I. I needed to do a lot of soul searching. I came to the conclusion that if the Lord meant for Kelly and I to be together, than we would be together. He must have other plans for me. This brought a little closure to the situation.

I still miss Kelly though. Last night I had a dream that we were together and when I woke up I was heartbroken. I felt bad. A Bruce Springsteen lyric went through my head, "I dropped to my knees, hung my head and cried." That is exactly how I felt.

In the wake of all of this, I don't feel like I ever want to be with a girl again. Kelly truly understood me in a way that most people don't. So if I could not be with her, than why be with anyone else? Also, I don't know if I have any more love to give. Maybe I used it all up. Also, walking away from Kelly hurt my friendship with both her and another person. That hurt. I don't want to be hurt again.

This wasn't something I really wanted to post. In the past, I have posted some very private things and then later regretted that I did. However, I feel I need to get this out. Kimberlee's confession thread gave me the courage to to post this. Right now I feel like I would be happier to spend the rest of my life single. It seems that when I try to get a relationship going with a girl, they either hurt me or I hurt them. Sometimes both. I cerainly don't want to be hurt anymore. I also don't want to hurt anyone else. The last five years or so have been nothing but hurt. My feeling is now, why bother? Why risk the hurt? That is if I even have any more love to give, which I am very doubtful of.

I can relate.


The only thing I would suggest is to take it one day at a time.

One thing I should probably stress is that I don't want people to think that I'm depressed. I'm not. Overall, I think life is going well for me right now. My job is going well, my relationship with friends is pretty well (including making some great new ones here like Kimberlee and Mattie), my relationship with God has never been better and life in general has been treating me well. However, my heart still crys out for Kelly. I guess the best picture I could paint of my life is of an overall nice spring day, a blue sky. However, there is one storm cloud in that sky.

^

You can always count on the Lord :)

I'm going through the exact same thing my friend so you're not alone. Although I have a perfectly great guy that I did love at one point, I only want the one who hurt me so badly still. It's a horrible feeling and one that doesn't end easily. You can't control your heart like you can your mind. The song that keeps going through my head is the Beatles "HEY! You've got to hide your love away" - here I stand, head in hand, turn my face to the wall, if he's gone, I can't go on, feeling two feet small....."

Love is the one feeling that can be both horrible and wonderful at the same time. :(

^Very well said, Cathie.:)

One thing I should probably stress is that I don't want people to think that I'm depressed. I'm not. Overall, I think life is going well for me right now. My job is going well, my relationship with friends is pretty well (including making some great new ones here like Kimberlee and Mattie), my relationship with God has never been better and life in general has been treating me well. However, my heart still crys out for Kelly. I guess the best picture I could paint of my life is of an overall nice spring day, a blue sky. However, there is one storm cloud in that sky.

Oh, dear Mike... I am very sorry to hear about this. I know that pain, but I do want to say I very much understand what you said about not being depressed... I know exactly what you mean. If you are struggling or in pain regarding love, you can still feel really great about your life outside of that. I don't know what to tell you... I have not found a cure for this feeling yet myself. :( It feels like I talk with so many people about this on a day to day basis: being sad about lost love, it is so common. I do want to ask you though, if it is not to personal, why you and Kelly aren't together? If she is with someone else... yeah, I've totally been there. I guy I was in love with (okay, still am) has had two girlfriends since I've met him, and I wasn't either one of them. :lol: Sorry, I'm tryin to cheer you up here, Mike... and at the same time, laugh about my own problems, which I've steadily gotten better at :D Maybe you should.... talk to her about your feelings? You need to put an end to this pain. Does she know how you feel? If you are positive that there is no way that you can be together, you must move on... it does get better with time though. I don't know... I'm sorry.

Come here. :bighug:

I don't really have any great advice, but I personally think that your going through with it, after knowing how hard it would be, pretty much confirms that you made the right decision.

I'm going through the exact same thing my friend so you're not alone. Although I have a perfectly great guy that I did love at one point, I only want the one who hurt me so badly still. It's a horrible feeling and one that doesn't end easily. You can't control your heart like you can your mind. The song that keeps going through my head is the Beatles "HEY! You've got to hide your love away" - here I stand, head in hand, turn my face to the wall, if he's gone, I can't go on, feeling two feet small....."

Love is the one feeling that can be both horrible and wonderful at the same time. :(


I was in a relationship during the last few months of my senior year of high school with a girl that was always hurting me. Still, I wanted to be with her. :eek:

^Very well said, Cathie.:)



Oh, dear Mike... I am very sorry to hear about this. I know that pain, but I do want to say I very much understand what you said about not being depressed... I know exactly what you mean. If you are struggling or in pain regarding love, you can still feel really great about your life outside of that. I don't know what to tell you... I have not found a cure for this feeling yet myself. :( It feels like I talk with so many people about this on a day to day basis: being sad about lost love, it is so common. I do want to ask you though, if it is not to personal, why you and Kelly aren't together? If she is with someone else... yeah, I've totally been there. I guy I was in love with (okay, still am) has had two girlfriends since I've met him, and I wasn't either one of them. :lol: Sorry, I'm tryin to cheer you up here, Mike... and at the same time, laugh about my own problems, which I've steadily gotten better at :D Maybe you should.... talk to her about your feelings? You need to put an end to this pain. Does she know how you feel? If you are positive that there is no way that you can be together, you must move on... it does get better with time though. I don't know... I'm sorry.

Come here. :bighug:


Thanks, Mattie. :) I just sent you a PM with a few more details that I didn't want to post in public.

I don't really have any great advice, but I personally think that your going through with it, after knowing how hard it would be, pretty much confirms that you made the right decision.

I know in my mind that I made the right decision. My heart feels differently though.

I'm wearing one of my Sara Evans t-shirts today! :D

I know what you are going through, Mike; because I am in similar situation. Being in love with someone, does not fade overnight; sometimes this feeling will linger on and on. My advice is to think well of Kelly, pray for her and continue on with your life. Surround yourself with things that make you the happiest, like reading or listening to your favorite music. Also remember that you are human, and you have feelings and sometimes those feelings are very strong and do not wane; embrace them, learn from them, and take each day as it comes....

I was a similar situation years ago Mike. After awhile I realized the relationship wasn't meant to be. Always keep your heart open for love.

I'm really sorry you are going through this Mike. I know it is rough, and even though you know it was the right decision for you and Kelly to part ways, your heart still holds a lot of love for her. I think it is fine for you to be happy being single for now. You shouldn't feel like you have to rush out and find another girl to be with. Take things one day at a time and trust the Lord to get you through this. It is always best to trust in His plan for your life. I'll be thinking of you and sending prayers your way!

I have had the same situation....I fell in love with a wonderful girl almost 2 years ago- we met in a class we both had at community college and hung out a lot. i fell in love with her instantly, and it continued that way- but she had a boyfriend before we met and still did that whole semester. i don't know how serious or faithful they were in their relationship- but we never exchanged numbers :(. me, her and a friend used to hang out at the coffee shop, and the other friend was a female as well and she had Loretta's (the girl I fell for) number, so we would meet up a lot after she called her, and hang out after class- or go to class together then leave together and hung out. i know she liked me as a friend, and possibly more then that I'm pretty sure. She lives near me and works at the mall nearby so I have to hit her up cause I miss her as well.

But anyway, take it day by day.....things could change, and count your blessings- and things will turn out positive in the long run most likely. You seem like a real good person and I hope it works out for you- I'm sorry that you no longer speak to her and her friend, but I hope she's back in your life soon. God Bless.

I was in a relationship during the last few months of my senior year of high school with a girl that was always hurting me. Still, I wanted to be with her. :eek:

I remember you saying in the past that you dated a girl in high school and she died of cancer in your senior year.

I remember saying in the past that you dated a girl in high school and she died of cancer in your senior year.

:eek: wow that's horrible :( :( sorry mike

Thanks everyone. :)

I remember you saying in the past that you dated a girl in high school and she died of cancer in your senior year.

It was junior year.

I remember you saying in the past that you dated a girl in high school and she died of cancer in your senior year.


Probably not the best thing to bring up here Jen ohno:

lol

Probably not the best thing to bring up here Jen ohno:

You know, it was just my opinion. I thought Mike was refering to the same girl. How was I supposed to know it was someone else? I have the right to post here.

:rolleyes: You know, it was just my opinion. I thought Mike was refering to the same girl. How was I supposed to know it was someone else? I have the right to post here.


I meant that bringing up the death of a past girlfriend probably isn't a good idea right now.

oh mike, you're such a dear sweet guy to have to feel this way. i can't tell you how many times i put my heart out there only for it to get trampled on. but the worst thing you can do is give up altogether. i know it can sometimes be painful, very painful - but as the old saying goes, its better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all. no matter what, you'll always have a piece of her you carry and you're a better person for it and shes a better person for knowing you. but by all means, don't give up. there is someone out there, but don't put blinders on, keep your eyes open, that person might just be right in front of you and you don't even realize it.

I'm really sorry you are going through this Mike. I know it is rough, and even though you know it was the right decision for you and Kelly to part ways, your heart still holds a lot of love for her. I think it is fine for you to be happy being single for now. You shouldn't feel like you have to rush out and find another girl to be with. Take things one day at a time and trust the Lord to get you through this. It is always best to trust in His plan for your life. I'll be thinking of you and sending prayers your way!

Thanks, B. I know you are not a regular poster in Chit Chat, so I greatly appreciate you taking time out to offer me this advice. :)

oh mike, you're such a dear sweet guy to have to feel this way. i can't tell you how many times i put my heart out there only for it to get trampled on. but the worst thing you can do is give up altogether. i know it can sometimes be painful, very painful - but as the old saying goes, its better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all. no matter what, you'll always have a piece of her you carry and you're a better person for it and shes a better person for knowing you. but by all means, don't give up. there is someone out there, but don't put blinders on, keep your eyes open, that person might just be right in front of you and you don't even realize it.


Thanks, Kimberlee. :) You say the nicest things about me. And I want you to know that it means a great deal. I am still touched by what you said in your PM the other day. I'm gald that we have become friends. :)

:hug: i'm sorry. i know how that is. three years ago i fell in love with my boyfriend (which i acknowledge is an unusually strong feeling for a 16-year-old, but what can i say, it happened). we broke up, then were unofficial on and off for a while until he spontaneously got engaged to his ex and they're married now. we haven't talked a lot lately (things have been a little rough), it's been over six months since i've even seen him in person, but these feelings seem to just get stronger. he still has feelings for me too, and i decided a while ago that even if he weren't married, we probably wouldn't be happy if we dated again due to the way things have been between us, but of course there's always that natural desire, so it really hurts. it's not that i want to spend eternity wallowing in heartache over him, but i'm not motivated at all to move onto anyone else. i could write a novel about what made him so special to me and i really feel that in the end, he's the one for me, even if i'm not the one for him. last week i briefly got involved with someone else, figuring i had nothing to lose, but i broke it off because i was comparing everything about him to my ex and i was so uncomfortable with trying to move on. i just really feel like i don't ever want to be with anyone else again.

but like the others have advised, the best thing to do is take it one day at a time. i'm sure there are plenty of experiences down the road that could help resolve your current situation. good luck with it all. :)


Thanks, Sarah. :) I know that many of you have been it situations like me, that's why I decided to share my problem. It is nice to know I'm not alone in what I have been going through. :)

I know what you are going through, Mike; because I am in similar situation. Being in love with someone, does not fade overnight; sometimes this feeling will linger on and on. My advice is to think well of Kelly, pray for her and continue on with your life. Surround yourself with things that make you the happiest, like reading or listening to your favorite music. Also remember that you are human, and you have feelings and sometimes those feelings are very strong and do not wane; embrace them, learn from them, and take each day as it comes....


What would the world be like wtihout music, Tara? I think without music I would have lost my mind years ago. it has always been an inspiration for me.

I was like you Mike for 7 years in my twenties after having my heart broken by a guy. I couldn't even look at anyone else - just wasn't interested.

Then suddenly one day, I met this guy (at work) and everything changed. For whatever reason, I didn't compare him to my other love. He stood on his own and I've never looked back since. And now, unfortunately I lost him and am back in the same boat - dating someone else, but comparing them to Frank.

What I really mean to say, is that you can't look for someone. Just one day, someone will appear that will replace that other person for you. You'll suddenly realize it and will be able to move on. And hopefully, that will be the person you'll be with for the rest of your life.

And like Sarah said, I now know that had I ever ended up with the first guy, I would have been miserable and we probably would have broken up in an ugly way anyways. Instead, fate left it so that we both have wonderful memories of each other and I still hold him dear in a little cubby hole in my heart. :)

What would the world be like wtihout music, Tara? I think without music I would have lost my mind years ago. it has always been an inspiration for me.

I feel the same way... music is one of the only things that keeps me sane.;)

What would the world be like wtihout music, Tara? I think without music I would have lost my mind years ago. it has always been an inspiration for me.
Music can be such a blessing; especially when you are not feeling up to par emotionally. I love it, music has been such a salvation. Every time I am feeling down, I just go check out a live band, and then I feel a lot better:)

Thanks, B. I know you are not a regular poster in Chit Chat, so I greatly appreciate you taking time out to offer me this advice. :)

No problem Mike...you have always been very kind to me and I just wanted you to know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers while you are going through such a rough time.

No problem Mike...you have always been very kind to me and I just wanted you to know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers while you are going through such a rough time.

Having made this thread and getting the feedback from all of you has really helped a great deal. I laso talked about it through PM with Jenny (Family Ties Forever) and she really was a great help as well. Well, if all goes as planned, I should have some more of my story posted this week.

Mike, you're a nice man, with a good heart. Any girl would be lucky to have you, and I truly mean that. You have a great personality.....and you're cute too. ;)

Mike, you're a nice man, with a good heart. Any girl would be lucky to have you, and I truly mean that. You have a great personality.....and you're cute too. ;)


Thanks, Janice. :) I wasn't sure about starting this thread, but I really am glad that I did. I have been touched by everyone's responses. I've also recieved really great PMs from Jenny, Kimberlee, Mattie and Billie (FactsFan) that really meant a lot to me. :)