i haven't been on here in a few days. i recently suffered a miscarriage. my monthly occurrence was late, naturally, and i had taken a few tests. at first they were coming out negative but finally one gave a positive result. about a week after i began to bleed and went to my doctor. she confirmed i was pregant but now am in the middle of a miscarriage.

my husband was upset about learning that i was pregnant (not that he was a cad about it) just stressed as he told me from the beginning he did not want kids.

however, even though i was worried about my husbands reaction, i felt happy that God was giving me a second chance.

maybe i have painted a very rosy picture of our relationship. it is wonderful now but wasn't always....six months after knowing each other we evolved from being just friends and into a more serious, physical relationship. shortly after that i became pregnant. it was obviously not planned and although we knew each other we didn't know each other well enough to have a kid. our relationship was just beginning.


my husband, then, was happy but i think he was putting on an act for me. i know he was an emotional wreck because he still was grieving for his late wife and hadn't recovered from that fully. his adult son was also in trouble with the law at this time (hes currently serving a 12 year stretch) and so my husband had a lot on his plate. not long after we got into a heated argument and broke up.


during this time we exchanged many nasty emails/texts/phone calls. it did not look like things were going to work out and i was not in the position financially to afford to have a child and raise it on my own.


so i reluctantly chose to have an abortion. it was something i had always been against as i'm catholic, so it was an ultimate test of my faith going through it and i struggle with my faith to this day.


i remember while going into the building, having to listen to the protesters outside scream things like "murderer". i remember before being permitted inside, having to provide id to an armed guard. i remember how sterile looking the waiting room and examing room was. i remember how the staff behaved with "cool professionlism".

there was no privacy involved. the women were taken in various groups at a time into a clinicians office. me and 5 other young ladies were brought in a room all together and explained the procedure. i understand we were all going to be having the same thing done, but i thought we would be provided some private brief individual counsel. i remember one lady asked if she would have problems having children in the future. i remember wondering that too but did not ask the question myself as i felt it was very hypocritical and absurd thinking about creating new life when i was there to terminate one that was growing inside me.


it was like a very morbid orientation. then they performed a sonogram and i asked to see. i don't know why i requested that, given the grim reason for me being there, but i thought maybe if i saw the picture..........i don't know. anyway, the technician said "no" and i felt like such a helpless child i didn't press the subject any further.


it didn't help that the person who accompanied me there, a friend of the family - bill, kept making joke after joke at the expense of the protesters outside like he was doing a standup act and he kept looking out the window giving updates on what the protesters were doing and who they were currently harassing. i'm sure he was trying to ease the tension but i don't think he fully appreciated the gravity of the situation and his behavior was less than comforting. i had asked my stepmom and she said "why don't you ask your sister to go with you?" i think she was uncomfortable with the idea. and i can't blame a person for that. i then asked my sister but she said she couldn't take the time off from work. perhaps she was uncomfortable too.......


it was all so surreal. i watched a few women cry while they waited. but i felt numb from the guilt and shame. it was like having an out of body experience. just observing the women one by one called before me and watching the minutes slowly tick by.


then it was my turn. i remember on the examing table there was a photo taped to the ceiling above it of a tropical paradise. i guess to help you relax but i think that is the farthest thing from anyones mind. then i was put under so i don't remember the actual procedure and don't think i'd care to recall it if i did.

a few years later i read about it though, the procedure that is and what they do.....to the baby......i also got a library book once, it was a support book for people who've had this done and their experiences and how they've healed emotionally, but i could not get through the book as previous people who had taken it out from the library scrawled nasty comments through out its pages.


i've tried to "excuse" what i did. i said to myself "well, my husband is up there in age so it would have probably had a greater chance of birth defects" (but there is prenatal testing and it still was just a "chance"). then i said "well, in the weeks prior to discovering the pregnancy i had taken meds for a viral infection, so i probably messed the baby up by being on them" but there are plenty of women in the shelter on a lot harsher substances who have perfectly healthy kids. i guess you try to convince yourself of these things to get through life but when you rest your head at night you know the truth and God is a lot harder to convince.


so maybe I deserve what is happening now. i'm beating on a door i locked myself. i know there were other options: adoption - but i couldn't imagine knowing there was a child out in the world somewhere that was mine and i'd never know it. although, the reason i just gave for not choosing that option is based on pure selfishness. every choice i made was pure selfishness.


and my choice haunts me everyday. i know that i will not go to heaven now or ever get to see my late mother in the afterlife. i wonder even if by some chance i did make it to heaven would i recognize my child and would he/she recognize me? and could i face him knowing i took away his chance at ever seeing a sunny day and feeling the warmth of the sun on his face, or giggle as she chased a butterfly around the yard or him squealing with delight jumping into a puddle of rain. would he ever forgive me for extinguishing his soul before it ever got a chance to live?

my boss announced yesterday she was pregnant and just a few weeks ago my husbands nephew announced his wife is pregnant. mycousin also just gave birth 3 weeks ago. i'm so happy for them and so sad for me, because i know my husband doesn't want kids and the chance i had to have one i threw it away. i had it right there in front of me and threw it away.

(janice, i hope this post will be able to remain up. i understand it is controversial, i tried to write without being graphic or offensive. i've never been able to say this out loud to anyone, my husband always changed the subject and i feel like i could get it off my chest with my friends here, that is if they are still my friends.)

First of all, I want to say I am deeply saddened to hear this news. This must not be easy and I must say I have no idea what it must be like to go through something like this.

I don't treat people any different regarding having an abortion. They want to have an abortion then have an abortion; that is their personal choice and it really is nobody's business. I don't look at you any different knowing this information

Understand that I am an atheist and I don't believe in all of this heaven, hell, afterlife, souls.... this is all junk to me.


I will say the only hell that is there is the hell that you create for yourself in your head.

You don't "deserve" any of this and it seems foolish to think so. I am sure you must be flooded with confusion and emotions are running wild in your head but you don't deserve it.

You shouldn't worry about the "future"; "Will I go to Heaven?" "Will God accept me?"... be concerned with what you have in front of you now. You still have a husband who loves you (I assume) and you have him to help you through this. There are also plenty of support groups/counselors for people who have been through the same thing you have and I am sure they can help. Just remember you are not alone.

Life is hard and people get through it day to day.

I can't picture any God who will disregard someone for going through a hard time and making a tough decision. If you choose to believe in that, that is fine and I am not saying you shouldn't, but I just don't see how people can believe in that.


*I'm not looking for a religious debate so please do not bring this here. I gave my advice upfront and am going to leave it with that. If anyone has a bone to pick with me take it with me in private or somewhere else.

Hang in there PunkyPower; you'll get through it.

I am so sorry PunkyPower, I know how hard it is to go through a miscarriage, I had one 2 years ago. Hang in there:hug:.

Kimberlee - you will ALWAYS have friends here. Nobody here is in a position to judge you - and if they think they are, they should have another look at their own lives.

I've still been trying to get to your email and I will. DO NOT beat yourself up over this. This is not God's punishment. I know how you think though because I've had 3 miscarriages myself.

I'll fill you in more in my private email, but just know that you always have our support here.

I also know it took incredible strength to terminate that pregnancy. It was your personal choice and you knew what was best for you at the time. It's a choice that no one takes lightly. :bighug:

I am so sorry to hear that. My prayers go out to you Kimberlee.

I'm sorry about what happened. You are in my prayers. My brother and his ex girlfriend went through something like that a few years ago.

I have a friend who also had a miscarriage. She says it was painful not only physically but also emotionaly. Im sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

http://i10.tinypic.com/qspfra.jpg

I'm very sorry, Kim. :( My heart and prayers go out to you and your husband during this difficult time.

I would like to start out by saying that I am 100% sure that you still are gong to go to heaven. I'm sure of that. Yeah, it's probably true that God doesn't like the descision you made in getting an abortion. He would have probably perferred that you had chosen a different course of action, like atoption or even abstinence. However, he understands that you are human and humans make mistakes. We all make mistakes. All the time. There isn't a single person on this board, myself included, who hasn't made many mistakes in life. However, he forgives you for these mistakes. So though God may perfer that you had made a different descision, I'm sure he forgives you. You are going to to go to heaven and will get to see your mom again someday.

Personally, I think you are being too hard on yourself. Like you, I am a Catholic, and I don't believe in abortion except for in supreme cases like rape. I've always thought, if a person can't be responsible enough to have the baby, then they probably should not be in a physical relationship to begin with. However, this is something that is really good in theory, but not always practical in real life. When reading your story, I tried to put myself in your shoes, and I really couldn't see how you really could have handled the situation differently. You said yourself that you simply didn't have the financial means to support a baby. That being the case, I think abortion was a better option then having the baby and then not being able to feed, cloth and support it. I think at the time you were probably making the best choice you could for both yourself and your baby.

God is not punishing you. He doesn't do that. God forgives. And I know that he has forgiven you. God loves you, always.

:bighug:

Kimberlee - you will ALWAYS have friends here. Nobody here is in a position to judge you - and if they think they are, they should have another look at their own lives.

I've still been trying to get to your email and I will. DO NOT beat yourself up over this. This is not God's punishment. I know how you think though because I've had 3 miscarriages myself.

I'll fill you in more in my private email, but just know that you always have our support here.

I also know it took incredible strength to terminate that pregnancy. It was your personal choice and you knew what was best for you at the time. It's a choice that no one takes lightly. :bighug:
:yeahthat First of all, Kimberlee, let me express my deepest sympathies to you and Marvin. I'm going through a bit of crisis of faith myself, so if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me. We love you, sweetie!! :kiss: :bighug:

I have a friend who also had a miscarriage. She says it was painful not only physically but also emotionaly. Im sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

http://i10.tinypic.com/qspfra.jpg
:yeahthat My sister has also suffered a miscarriage, and she sank into a deep depression for several weeks. A year later she had an adorable little boy, and is due again come July. So look at it that way!

I'm very sorry, Kim. :( My heart and prayers go out to you and your husband during this difficult time.

I would like to start out by saying that I am 100% sure that you still are gong to go to heaven. I'm sure of that. Yeah, it's probably true that God doesn't like the descision you made in getting an abortion. He would have probably perferred that you had chosen a different course of action, like atoption or even abstinence. However, he understands that you are human and humans make mistakes. We all make mistakes. All the time. There isn't a single person on this board, myself included, who hasn't made many mistakes in life. However, he forgives you for these mistakes. So though God may perfer that you had made a different descision, I'm sure he forgives you. You are going to to go to heaven and will get to see your mom again someday.

Personally, I think you are being too hard on yourself. Like you, I am a Catholic, and I don't believe in abortion except for in supreme cases like rape. I've always thought, if a person can't be responsible enough to have the baby, then they probably should not be in a physical relationship to begin with. However, this is something that is really good in theory, but not always practical in real life. When reading your story, I tried to put myself in your shoes, and I really couldn't see how you really could have handled the situation differently. You said yourself that you simply didn't have the financial means to support a baby. That being the case, I think abortion was a better option then having the baby and then not being able to feed, cloth and support it. I think at the time you were probably making the best choice you could for both yourself and your baby.

God is not punishing you. He doesn't do that. God forgives. And I know that he has forgiven you. God loves you, always.

:bighug:

Mike says it exactly as I would have said it. :)
I'm very, very sorry to hear about your loss, Kimberlee.:( I will be praying for you!... and I certainly don't judge you on your decision to have a previous abortion... even being Catholic as I am, I very much respect your decision.

Come here.... :bighug:

Kimberlee, first let me say that I am still, and always will be your friend. Secondly the Bible clearly says that there is no action we can take or choice we can make that is so bad God won't forgive it. So whatever choices you've made in the past, whatever you've done, including having an abortion, God has already forgiven. I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through right now and of course I am praying for you and will continue to do so. Here is a hug for you.:bighug: I just wish I could be there to give it to you in person!

I'm so sorry for your loss, on a personal level I know exactly how you're feeling and what you are going through. It is never easy, but time does heal.

Kimberlee, I read your story and it sent me to tears. I really feel very bad about what you are going through now. I know you really don't know me that well - yet -but please knnow that you always have a friend in me, so anytime you want to talk I'm here for you. What you did is a very personal decision - and I NEVER judge someone based upon that. Ever. I'm just not that kind of person.

You were faced with one of the most difficult choices anyone - male or female - has to face in life. I know this is a really sad time for you, and understandably so. I only hope that your husband is showing love and empathy towards you at your loss - because it's HIS loss, too - whether he realizes it or not.

And always remember this - our God is a very loving and caring God who is looking out for each and every one of us. If you ask God to forgive you, I think He will - there's no doubt in my mind.

Kim sweetie, you know what I love most about God? He FORGIVES! You aren't banned from heaven for having an abortion, I can promise you that. I really admire you for sharing this story with us, it took a lot of guts to share something so personal. You're a beautiful person and you did what you had to do. I know you don't know me all that well, but I'm here for you anytime, only a PM away! :bighug:

Kimberlee, I HIGHLY recommend a book for you. If you can, drop everything and RUN to your local bookstore and pick this up:

http://www.randomhouse.com/waterbrook/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9781601420619

I'm serious - read it as SOON AS YOU CAN. Not only will a lot of the story remind you of you, but the author herself (a Christian) once had an abortion.

This is one of my favorite books, and Mike (Waking Up Laughing) and Brandon (EricsUndeadFans aka BruceWillisFan) have read it as well. Stop what you're doing and PICK THIS UP NOW.

Kim, I am so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you during such a tough time. I can only imagine the pain you're feeling. :(

I agree with a lot of what JamesG said. Very good advice. I grew up Catholic too, although I don't really agree with a lot of Catholic beliefs. I'm at a point in my life where I don't know what I believe in, but I will tell you this. There is no God out there cruel enough that he or she won't let you get into heaven for this. You're going through enough hell as it is right now dealing with it and you are a wonderful person. You did what you felt you had to do at such a difficult time in your life and nobody here is or has the right to judge you. I know you must be going through hell, but please don't be so hard on yourself. You don't deserve that and if there's a God out there, he or she knows that. :bighug:

I am very sorry that you are being so hard on yourself. I can totally understand why you feel you're getting "punished" but you really aren't. Who knows what could have happened had you went down another path; it could have been worse. So please don't beat yourself up over the unknown.

Kim, the book Monika recommends, Redeeming Love, is really quite good. If you look at the book jacket it looks like a romance novel, but it really is much more than that. I would recommend it as well.

I use to work with a lady who was without doubt the most happiest person that I had ever met. She was just so at peace with herself. One day, I asked her what her secret was. She told me that the reason why so many of us are unhappy is because we get stuck in negative mind sets. And when someone has gone through as much as you have, I think that is to be expected. However, I think there is quite a lot of unhappy people in our world. Infact, I think there is quite a lot of unhappy people here at SO. And the secret, so I learned, to finding happiness is to get out of the negative mind set. She recommended several books to read, which I read durinng Lent, and they were all quite helpful. The books are The Power of Positive Thinking and In God We Trust: A Positive Faith For Troubled Times by Norman Vincent Peale and I'm OK, You're Ok by Thomas A. Harris, M.D. The books aren't a cure, but I think they will help.

The books were very helpful for me. I relalized how much anger I was holding in. Also, the fact that I was holding quite a few grudges. I even talked to my Pastor about how I had a great deal of trouble forgiving people who had either done me wrong, or who I felt had done me wrong. Both my Pastor and the books talked about how nothing good ever comes out of holding a grudge. After all, you are just hurting yourself, your not really hurting the other person. In his two books, Peale, gives little exercises on how to change your mind set. Like repeating several times a day, "I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me." (Philippians 4:13). He also, of course, recommends seeing a therapist.

These books were of a great help to me, Kim, and maybe they will be for you too. I also suggest that maybe you talk to your Pastor. You feel that God is punishing you, and I think your Pastor will reassure you and put your mind at ease, that that is not the case. That God forgives you and loves you always.

I think at the time you were probably making the best choice you could for both yourself and your baby.
Really, abortion was the best choice for the baby? I think putting the baby up for adoption would have been best. The baby would've most likely had a wonderful life with two loving parents. Pro-life, pro-choice, people have opinions; yet to think the that baby was better off being aborted makes no sense to me. I'd say the baby always gets the raw deal in abortion. Everybody wants to live.

Edit: I'm sorry about your miscarriage, Kim. My sister cried for years over her miscarriage.

There is some excellent advice in this thread so I don't think there's much I can add. However, the Bible tells us we are supposed to forgive each other seventy times seven times. I hope God uses this same advice when dealing with all of us. In my heart of hearts I can't believe he will keep you out of heaven. You seem like a genuinely nice person who did something that they regret. Almost everybody regrets something they did or did not do in their lives. We all need forgiveness at some point but the hardest part might be to forgive yourself. I hope you are able to do so because I believe God has already forgiven you.

Kimberlee - keep in mind I John 1:9 -

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Really, abortion was the best choice for the baby? I think putting the baby up for adoption would have been best. The baby would've most likely had a wonderful life with two loving parents. Pro-life, pro-choice, people have opinions; yet to think the that baby was better off being aborted makes no sense to me. I'd say the baby always gets the raw deal in abortion. Everybody wants to live.

Edit: I'm sorry about your miscarriage, Kim. My sister cried for years over her miscarriage.


As I said in my post, I am against abortion. Some of it is because of religious reasons, but it is more than that. When I first really became against abortion I wasn't religious. Back in the late 1990's I worked with two teenagers who were sexually active. One day, I asked them what they would do if they became pregnant. Well, their reply was that they were too young to raise a child and a child would have more or less taken the chance away from them to go to college. Their response angered me. It seemed to me that they wanted all the joys of a phyisical relationship, but not the responsibility of one. In a sense they were using abortion as a form of birth control. Again, and I said, I don't believe that anyone should be having a sexual relationship unless they are ready to take the responsibilty.

In Kim's case, she didn't feel that adoption was an option at the time. So if that isn't an option, and if she didn't have the means of taking care of the baby, then all that was left was an abortion. True, abortion would not have been the choice you would have made. In would not have been the choice I would have made. And I think if Kim could make the choice over again, she would probably have not picked abortion. However, at the time that she got pregnant, and the mind set she was it, I'm just not sure what other choice she could have made.

However, no matter what choice Kim did make, God is not puishing her for it and forgives her.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

In Kim's case, she didn't feel that adoption was an option at the time. So if that isn't an option, and if she didn't have the means of taking care of the baby, then all that was left was an abortion.

Adoption is always an option. Nowhere in Kim's post did she state that she considered adoption.

Adoption is always an option. Nowhere in Kim's post did she state that she considered adoption.


It's in the forth to last paragraph. At least that's what I got out of that paragraph.

Adoption is an option 95% of the time, true. There are some cases where it's not though. For example, and this would be a situation totally different from Kim's, what if the mother wasn't strong enough to carry the baby to term?

It's in the forth to last paragraph. At least that's what I got out of that paragraph.

Adoption is an option 95% of the time, true. There are some cases where it's not though. For example, and this would be a situation totally different from Kim's, what if the mother wasn't strong enough the carry baby to term?
That's what happened with my grandma back in '42. They called it a "theurapeutic abortion". The doctors didn't think she would be healthy enough to carry the baby full-term.

That's what happened with my grandma back in '42. They called it a "theurapeutic abortion". The doctors didn't think she would be healthy enough to carry the baby full-term.

Exactly. I'm anti-abortion, but sometimes in some cases it really is the only path to take.

Kim, I am so sorry about your miscarriage and what you went through when you had that abortion. I am praying for you and your husband as well.

If you get a chance, I would recommend Ephesians 3:17-19. God's love is deep and abiding and reaches the length of our lives. There is nothing we can do that can separate us from God's love and forgiveness.

It took a lot of courage for you to tell us this entire experience and I admire you for it.

If you ever want to PM me, please feel free to do so and we can talk.

Kim, I am so sorry about your miscarriage and what you went through when you had that abortion. I am praying for you and your husband as well.

If you get a chance, I would recommend Ephesians 3:17-19. God's love is deep and abiding and reaches the length of our lives. There is nothing we can do that can separate us from God's love and forgiveness.

It took a lot of courage for you to tell us this entire experience and I admire you for it.

If you ever want to PM me, please feel free to do so and we can talk.
Not to mention the Gospel stories of Jesus reaching out to the woman at the well, and defending the prostitute - "Let he who is without sin be the first to cast a stone at her." He also said to her, "Go and sin no more."

when i wrote this, i didn't know what kind of response i would get. i imagined it would become the volatile atmosphere you sometimes find on the politics board. i was prepared for that, as the issue is a controversial one and one that people are very passionate about no matter what side of the fence their on.i was moved though, that people could put their beliefs aside for a moment and offer their support and condolences.

when i began writing this, i didn't expect the response i got, in this thread or through pm. i was in a highly emotional state and my sorrow triggered the memories of what occurred 4 years ago, memories i've pretty much tried to bury and i had an overwhelming need to get it off my chest. afterward i was emotionally and physically exhausted. i have not slept in 2 days or more and i'm writing this with sunglasses on as i have such terrible eyestrain and not to mention a headache from crying. crying at first for what i'm currently going through, and now from all the beautiful messages you left me after opening your hearts.

i've read and re-read your messages over and over and they all mean so much to me. i wish i was in the right frame of mind to adequately express, as i'd like, all my appreciation for all the kind words and comfort you've given me. i'm so overwhelmed by the quantity of responses and the beauty of the words in them, that i can not begin at the moment to find the proper words that fit how i feel. i thought starting this thread would be a mistake but i think it will be the first step toward healing. i didn't know that people so understanding and compassionate existed and i'm so moved to find that i have such wonderful friends here in all of you. thank you from the bottom of my heart. :bighug: :bighug: :bighug:

Anytime, Kimberlee! I got your PMs and will respond to those as soon as I get my thoughts more organized. But like I said, you MUST read Redeeming Love. Like, now (or just as soon as you can). It's a historical Christian romance, but also the main character has some issues similar to yours. Before the author of the novel, Francine Rivers, became a Christian, she had an abortion herself.

Read the book as soon as you can and let me know what you think. Besides Scripture and prayer, I think this book is just the medicine you need right now. We love you!! :bighug:

Kimberlee, I am so sorry. I personally have never dealt with your situation, but I can't even imagine. Just know that if you ever need anybody to talk to, I'll be here. May god bless you and just know that god works in mysterious ways. Keep your head up :heart:.

It's in the forth to last paragraph. At least that's what I got out of that paragraph.
Sorry, I missed the word adoption. Still, I think that choosing abortion over adoption because you can't deal with the idea of your child living its life is a poor reason.

Adoption is an option 95% of the time, true. There are some cases where it's not though. For example, and this would be a situation totally different from Kim's, what if the mother wasn't strong enough to carry the baby to term?
I feel in cases in which the mother's health is at stake or in a case of rape, that abortion is acceptable in that respect. In Kim's case, however, the choice was not medically necessary.

Sorry, I missed the word adoption. Still, I think that choosing abortion over adoption because you can't deal with the idea of your child living its life is a poor reason.


I feel in cases in which the mother's health is at stake or in a case of rape, that abortion is acceptable in that respect. In Kim's case, however, the choice was not medically necessary.
I agree with you Jenny. That's always been my position too.

I'm sorry about your miscarriage Kimberlee. My Mom had a miscarriage once and it was real difficult for her.

Kim, I am not here to judge you or lay guilt on you.
I am here to just do this:

:hug:

Go and find peace with God. And know those children are there safe in His Arms!

Kimberlee, I am SO sorry! God Bless you, my friend. :bighug:

This reminds me of a beautiful poem I've always kept in mind when supporting a friend going through a contraversial issue:

Who Can Say?

Who can say
What is right
and
What is wrong?
Who can challenge
A man's decision or opinion?
How many answers
Are in answer to
One single question?
Who can define
A man's guilt or pride
Without knowing what
images
Have reflected upon his
mind
Or what pain
Has torn him apart
In his past?
If suddenly we could
Read each other's minds
Perhaps we would
Disagree
With our own grand
conclusions
And opinions drawn
In ignorance
Of another man's reality.

This reminds me of a beautiful poem I've always kept in mind when supporting a friend going through a contraversial issue:

Who Can Say?

Who can say
What is right
and
What is wrong?
Who can challenge
A man's decision or opinion?
How many answers
Are in answer to
One single question?
Who can define
A man's guilt or pride
Without knowing what
images
Have reflected upon his
mind
Or what pain
Has torn him apart
In his past?
If suddenly we could
Read each other's minds
Perhaps we would
Disagree
With our own grand
conclusions
And opinions drawn
In ignorance
Of another man's reality.That's an amazing poem. So true.

It was extremely brave of you to post this Kim, and I truly applaud you for your bravery. It's really hard to know what to say, but I just want you to know that I am extemely sorry to hear about the miscarriage. :( I can't even imagine how tough that must be, and just know that I'm always here if you ever need someone to talk to about it. As far as the abortion goes, just remember that you were young at the time, and that God is a forgiving God. There is nothing that God won't forgive you for, so please always remember that. My heart is truly with you during this extremely difficult time, and you and your husband will be in my prayers. God Bless You Both!!! :)