Frank Gannucci
04-21-2009, 10:37 PM
(The Carolina Hurricanes beat the N.J. Devils 4-3.)
(Ralph & Ed watched the game in Ralph's apartment.)
Ralph: "Oh, what a heartbreaking game. This is the third overtime in a row for these two teams."
Ed: "It sure looked like the Devils were going to win this one."
Ralph: "I just hope the Devils win. They deserve to beat the Hurricanes."
Ed: "Time for game 5 on Thursday. The Devils should win."
Ralph: "The Devils haven't won the Stanley Cup since 2003. They are overdue for another win."
Ed: "I guess so do the Montreal Canadiens."
Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"
Ed: "The Canadiens haven't won one in like forever. They are overdue for a Cup."
Ralph: "Norton, how could you be a traitor? We should all band together and root for the Rangers and Devils. They are the teams we in the tri-state area care about. When one of them wins the Cup, there will be a celebration to end all celebrations."
Ed: "And if the Canadiens win the Cup, there celebrations will be even bigger."
Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"
(Ed leaves.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Good night."
(Audience applauds.)
"Hello Mom":
(Ralph has just found out that much to his chagrin, his mother-in-law is coming.)
Ed: "Hey Ralph, you forgot to give me the friendly Raccoon Bye-Bye."
(raising the tail on his Raccoon cap): "Whooooooooo!"
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
"Hello Mom":
Ed: "Ralph, a three-letter word for exit."
Ralph (yells): "OUT!"
Ed: "Yeah, that will work."
Ralph (yells): "NOT THAT. GET OUT!"
"The Sleepwalker":
Doctor: "I want you count backwards from 100."
Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 2":
(Ed walks in while Freddie Zimmerman and Ethel are talking.)
Ed: "Howdy folks! I heard the phonograph playing and I thought you would like some of my music better. Here's a good one."
(Ed puts on a record that plays loud big band music. He dances to the music. Ralph comes out and takes the record off the record player.)
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT!"
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 1":
Ed: "You know the saying. 'For every man, there's a woman. For every woman, there's a man.'"
Ralph: "Then why is Aunt Ethel staying at my house?"
Ed: "Maybe you're the man for her."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Alice: "I am not going to Fred's Landing. I'm not going to Fred's Landing."
Ralph: "All right. Stay home."
Alice: "I wouldn't give you the satisifaction."
"Play It Again, Norton":
Ralph: "I'm a nobody."
Ed: "I could have told you that 10 years ago."
"Play It Again, Norton":
Ralph: "Take it from the top Norton."
(Ed clears the top of the piano and sits on it.)
Ralph: "What are you doing?"
Ed: "You told me to take it from the top."
"Without Reservations":
Ralph: "Your brother is a moocher, a swindler, and a bum."
Alice: "What did you say?"
Ralph: "I said that your brother is a bum."
Alice: "My brother is just as good as any member of your family."
Ralph: "He's still a bum."
(Ralph & Ed watched the game in Ralph's apartment.)
Ralph: "Oh, what a heartbreaking game. This is the third overtime in a row for these two teams."
Ed: "It sure looked like the Devils were going to win this one."
Ralph: "I just hope the Devils win. They deserve to beat the Hurricanes."
Ed: "Time for game 5 on Thursday. The Devils should win."
Ralph: "The Devils haven't won the Stanley Cup since 2003. They are overdue for another win."
Ed: "I guess so do the Montreal Canadiens."
Ralph (yells): "WHAT?"
Ed: "The Canadiens haven't won one in like forever. They are overdue for a Cup."
Ralph: "Norton, how could you be a traitor? We should all band together and root for the Rangers and Devils. They are the teams we in the tri-state area care about. When one of them wins the Cup, there will be a celebration to end all celebrations."
Ed: "And if the Canadiens win the Cup, there celebrations will be even bigger."
Ralph (yells): "GEEEEEEEEEEEEEET OUT!"
(Ed leaves.)
(Jackie Gleason walks on stage. Audience applauds.)
Jackie: "Thank you ladies and gentlemen. Good night."
(Audience applauds.)
"Hello Mom":
(Ralph has just found out that much to his chagrin, his mother-in-law is coming.)
Ed: "Hey Ralph, you forgot to give me the friendly Raccoon Bye-Bye."
(raising the tail on his Raccoon cap): "Whooooooooo!"
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT!"
"Hello Mom":
Ed: "Ralph, a three-letter word for exit."
Ralph (yells): "OUT!"
Ed: "Yeah, that will work."
Ralph (yells): "NOT THAT. GET OUT!"
"The Sleepwalker":
Doctor: "I want you count backwards from 100."
Ed: "100...99...98...97...3."
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 2":
(Ed walks in while Freddie Zimmerman and Ethel are talking.)
Ed: "Howdy folks! I heard the phonograph playing and I thought you would like some of my music better. Here's a good one."
(Ed puts on a record that plays loud big band music. He dances to the music. Ralph comes out and takes the record off the record player.)
Ralph (yells): "GET OUT OF HERE! GET OUT!"
"Goodbye Aunt Ethel Part 1":
Ed: "You know the saying. 'For every man, there's a woman. For every woman, there's a man.'"
Ralph: "Then why is Aunt Ethel staying at my house?"
Ed: "Maybe you're the man for her."
"Vacation At Fred's Landing":
Alice: "I am not going to Fred's Landing. I'm not going to Fred's Landing."
Ralph: "All right. Stay home."
Alice: "I wouldn't give you the satisifaction."
"Play It Again, Norton":
Ralph: "I'm a nobody."
Ed: "I could have told you that 10 years ago."
"Play It Again, Norton":
Ralph: "Take it from the top Norton."
(Ed clears the top of the piano and sits on it.)
Ralph: "What are you doing?"
Ed: "You told me to take it from the top."
"Without Reservations":
Ralph: "Your brother is a moocher, a swindler, and a bum."
Alice: "What did you say?"
Ralph: "I said that your brother is a bum."
Alice: "My brother is just as good as any member of your family."
Ralph: "He's still a bum."