I know once you give a person a gift, it's theirs to do with as they please. Still, there have been a few occasions when I've had my feelings hurt. I used to make Christmas baskets, as centerpieces. I'd buy the basket and fillings at a crafts store. They were simply beautiful. People used to tell me to go into business and sell them.

I sent one to a friend for Christmas. She was an internet friend. We were very close for almost three years. We even talked of visiting each other. Anyway, she went wild over the basket. She told me that she visited her parents, who don't live nearby her, and that she gave it to her mother. She even joked that she gave it to her as a gift, so her mother thought she bought it for her.

I guess I should have been flattered, but I remember feeling hurt, or at the very least, wishing that she didn't tell me.

I think my feelings would be hurt, especially if I put a special thought into it. I can totally understand you being a little insulted by the basket regifting Janice.

I think my feelings would be hurt, especially if I put a special thought into it. I can totally understand you being a little insulted by the basket regifting Janice.
The thing is, I was making the baskets for my family and friends. I e-mailed her pictures, and she loved them. The baskets cost $50+ to make, and I went to Mailbox Etc, to send it to her in Michigan, and that cost me $30. She was so cavalier when she told me too, like it was the thing to do. If I was friendly with her mother, I guess I wouldn't have minded as much.

I can certainly understand why you would feel hurt by that. To be honest, my family regifts things all the time. But we never actually tell that to the person who originally gave them to us. That's just tacky.

yes, it would bother me.

I think it probably won't bother me if I know that person who got the gift but I don't think I would like it if they did that to someone I don't know.

Maybe you should send your friend a bill and say, you are paying for this gift you gave to your mother. :lol:

It would bother me also.

I would feel hurt, too. After all, you spend all this time picking out their gift and then they just give it to someone else.

It's just rude, really.

Wow, this is cool. :cool: I thought some would disagree and tell me that it was her gift to do as she pleased and that I had no right to feel that way.

Does anybody else have any stories where a person gave away a gift they gave to someone?

Sadly, my parents are the King and Queen of regifting. My wife and I bought them a dvd player and they gave it to my brother.

I wanted to get some opinions about this:
Maybe it's just me, but I think it depends on what the gift is. If it's something useful or something the person obviously put a lot of time and effort into(like a DVD player or gift basket), I think it's rude to just give it away. But if it's something that I'd never use, should I really just let it sit around forever and take up space? Wouldn't it be better to give it to someone who would actually appreciate it and use it? I can honestly see why regifting might hurt someone's feelings, but I really do think it's acceptable in certain situations. If someone gives the gift away, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't appreciate the thought behind it. Or at least that's what I was always taught. Am I just weird?

Sadly, my parents are the King and Queen of regifting. My wife and I bought them a dvd player and they gave it to my brother.
Ouch. The best way to deal with them is go give them gifts that are exclusive to them. For you mother, a gift certificate to her beauty salon. For your dad, a gift certificate for whatever he likes, Home Depot, etc. Then to add a personal touch, give them their favorite perfume and cologne, with a nice Hallmark calendar. That'll fix 'em. :lol: ;)

Yes, you have every right to feel upset. If you put thought into it and thought they'd like it, of course it's going to hurt if they give it away. I know I'd be hurt.

Just to clarify, I think you have every right to feel upset, Janice.

I'm just saying that I can see the other side of the coin as well.

Just to clarify, I think you have every right to feel upset, Janice.

I'm just saying that I can see the other side of the coin as well.
I agree with you too, though. Yeah, it'd hurt me...but if they're not going to use it they might as well, really.

I agree with you too, though. Yeah, it'd hurt me...but if they're not going to use it they might as well, really.

Yeah, it is a bit of a conundrum.

I wanted to get some opinions about this:
Maybe it's just me, but I think it depends on what the gift is. If it's something useful or something the person obviously put a lot of time and effort into(like a DVD player or gift basket), I think it's rude to just give it away. But if it's something that I'd never use, should I really just let it sit around forever and take up space? Wouldn't it be better to give it to someone who would actually appreciate it and use it? I can honestly see why regifting might hurt someone's feelings, but I really do think it's acceptable in certain situations. If someone gives the gift away, that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't appreciate the thought behind it. Or at least that's what I was always taught. Am I just weird?
I agree with every word you wrote. I give lots of stuff away that I have no use for, such as candles or yet another candy dish, lol. I'm just sure not let the person who gave me the gift know about it.

for me, it depends. if it was something i bought from a store and they didn't like it, then it wouldn't upset as much, BUT if it was something that i made myself and that it took a lot of time and effort, then yes i'd be dissapointed and perhaps upset.

of course, the thing most people do if they are not sure of what to get their loved ones is a gift card, but for me, i feel as if they deserve something which they can make use of, as well as that it means something to them. with a gift card, they can pick and choose and spend it on whatever they like, and yet that for me, takes away the actual gift giving experience.

i got some dvds for xmas but i told my sister it was a nice gesture but they weren't what i wanted. thankfully, she was so understanding and didn't hesitate in going against me exchanging it for cash at dvd exchange store.

If I spend a great deal of time, effor and cash on a gift to someone whom I was close to and they gave it away, I would be hurt. If it was a situation where I bought them a gift they already had or a shirt that was the wrong size and they gave it away and were up front about it, that wouldnt bother me too much.

Okay, here's another example, which probably won't be so cut and dry. A few year's ago, I noticed my father's sandals were getting ratty looking. Money was never an issue with him. He just wasn't one to go shopping, and my mother was ill. I bought him a new pair, that looked like his sandals; only the ones I bought were high-end Timberlands for $70.

My father was also the type to give a person the shirt off his back. Literally, if a loved one complimented him on something, he gave it to them. Knowing this, when I gave him the new sandals, I asked him to please let me know if he didn't want them or wanted something else. I told him I could exchange them for sneakers or whatever he wanted. I bought them at Famous Footwear. My father told me that he loved them. He put them on, walked around the room. I gave them to him for no occasion; it wasn't his birthday or Christmas.

I was at my parents a few days later. My father was wearing his old sandals, so I asked about the new ones, and he told me that he gave them to his grandson (my nephew). I was angry at my nephew because he knew the way my father was, and had complimented him on his new sandals, and ended up walking out the door wearing them. My mother told me how it happened. My nephew was about 30 years old at the time. It's interesting that my nephew never mentioned the sandals to me, and I never said anything to him.

Okay, here's another example, which probably won't be so cut and dry. A few year's ago, I noticed my father's sandals were getting ratty looking. Money was never an issue with him. He just wasn't one to go shopping, and my mother was ill. I bought him a new pair, that looked like his sandals; only the ones I bought were high-end Timberlands for $70.

My father was also the type to give a person the shirt off his back. Literally, if a loved one complimented him on something, he gave it to them. Knowing this, when I gave him the new sandals, I asked him to please let me know if he didn't want them or wanted something else. I told him I could exchange them for sneakers or whatever he wanted. I bought them at Famous Footwear. My father told me that he loved them. He put them on, walked around the room. I gave them to him for no occasion; it wasn't his birthday or Christmas.

I was at my parents a few days later. My father was wearing his old sandals, so I asked about the new ones, and he told me that he gave them to his grandson (my nephew). I was angry at my nephew because he knew the way my father was, and had complimented him on his new sandals, and ended up walking out the door wearing them. My mother told me how it happened. My nephew was about 30 years old at the time. It's interesting that my nephew never mentioned the sandals to me, and I never said anything to him.

Wow.. that wasn't nice... I don't care the reason is. But why didn't your nephew just buy his own sandals, since his your dad could have told him where you got his sandals.

Just curious, does your dad still have ratty old sandals?

Wow.. that wasn't nice... I don't care the reason is. But why didn't your nephew just buy his own sandals, since his your dad could have told him where you got his sandals.

Just curious, does your dad still have ratty old sandals?
My father is deceased now. This happened in 2001. My nephew took advantage of my father's overly generous nature. My nephew, turned out to be the biggest moocher on the planet. He burned me bad, after I gave him the sun, the moon and the stars. As Oprah would say though, "That's another show." lol.

A year ago, my mom bought two portable DVD players, one for my sister and one that I would give to my mom. I won't be taking the bus with it kind of thing and I had to work that day, it was Black Friday and plus, the sale was for a limited time.

So a few months later my mom used the portable DVD player on her cruise then after she got home she put it away. A few months after that my sister, brother in law and nephew had to move so my sister stayed with my mom and me for a few weeks while my brother in law and nephew stayed with his mom and dad for a short time till they found a home to rent.

So they did find a place, my brother in law's parents offered to let them live there for awhile so they did and my sister left a few weeks later.
Then a few months later the cable went out and my mom went to find the portable DVD player... but she couldn't find it and thought maybe she was going nuts because she remembered where she put it.

Turns out it was my dumb sister who took it because she gave her DVD player to her daughter who probably whined in order to get it. My mom did get it back and has hid it in another place but told my sister that she needs to get hers from her daughter.

My father is deceased now. This happened in 2001. My nephew took advantage of my father's overly generous nature. My nephew, turned out to be the biggest moocher on the planet. He burned me bad, after I gave him the sun, the moon and the stars. As Oprah would say though, "That's another show." lol.

Oh. I'm sorry about your dad.

I think I've heard somewhere that usually family members always do take advantage of other family members.

Oh. I'm sorry about your dad.

I think I've heard somewhere that usually family members always do take advantage of other family members.
Thank you. I don't think my father should have given the sandals away, because he must have known it would certainly hurt my feelings. I think he just got caught up in the moment. I think it was up to my nephew to not cash in on my father's generous nature, and he should have refused the sandals.

I gave my younger brother and his wife(in 2007), who share the same birthday month, a $25 gc to a popular casual restaurant chain. My mom did the same for Christmas(2007). We found out a few weeks ago, that they don't like this restautant and gave our cards away.......we were so pissed!!

We resolved that this year, we are not going to get burned again. This year, I am doing handmade gifts that won't cost an arm and leg....if they give it away, oh well, I won't have lost much.......maybe just my pride in making an effort.

It wouldn't bother me in the least. At least it's better than throwing it out.

I can certainly understand why you would feel hurt by that. To be honest, my family regifts things all the time. But we never actually tell that to the person who originally gave them to us. That's just tacky.

I totally agree, telling the person who originally gave you the regifted gift is the height of tacky. If regifting is ever done it should be done discreetly. And only if the item is unused and is truly something the person can't use but wants someone else to benefit from.

If someone regifted a present I gave them AND TOLD ME, I'd probably never give them a gift again - maybe only a handwritten greeting card - if that. And yes, my feelings would be hurt too.

To be perfectly frank, a genuinely sweet note or email, with thought behind it, is a very very nice gift all by itself. When I get one I often go back and revisit it many times over.

I gave my younger brother and his wife(in 2007), who share the same birthday month, a $25 gc to a popular casual restaurant chain. My mom did the same for Christmas(2007). We found out a few weeks ago, that they don't like this restautant and gave our cards away.......we were so pissed!!

We resolved that this year, we are not going to get burned again. This year, I am doing handmade gifts that won't cost an arm and leg....if they give it away, oh well, I won't have lost much.......maybe just my pride in making an effort.

Well..... I hate to tell you this but your brother and his wife should have told you and your mom they don't like this restaurant then offer to pay you both back. Plus, at least the cards are being used, unlike millions of gift cards that are probably not used as much.

It wouldn't bother me in the least. At least it's better than throwing it out.
Throwing what out, the basket? Why would she want to do that, she loved it.

I think it is their business. Think that I have no control. So I just
Let them do whatever they want to do. Either way, it is really out of my hands. Though they wouldn't let me know it and vice versea.

It doesn't bother me, once a gift is given it's theirs, no strings attached.

no because ive done it before

It doesn't bother me, once a gift is given it's theirs, no strings attached.


It's not a matter of strings attached. When a person creates a special gift, with their own hands for a friend, and the friend thinks so little of the symbolism behind the gift by giving it away, that seems low to me. To then casually tell Janice about it was cruel. It's no wonder to me that she's a former friend.

It's not a matter of strings attached. When a person creates a special gift, with their own hands for a friend, and the friend thinks so little of the symbolism behind the gift by giving it away, that seems low to me. To then casually tell Janice about it was cruel. It's no wonder to me that she's a former friend.
You got that right, lol. The thing that got me was how she went on how much her mother loved it. She told her mother that she bought it at a speciality florist shop. She told me how much she hated parting with it, but it made such a great Christmas gift and that she "couldn't resist". The kindest and classiest way to handle it would be to ask me to make her mother a basket and to reimburse me. I would have done it for my costs only.

I don't give gifts with strings attached. If that had been a shirt, or anything else that I hadn't put my heart into, I wouldn't have cared. This happened in 2001, and I can still remember being at Mailbox Etc., as they we packing the basket with that popcorn filling and feeling so excited.

It's not a matter of strings attached. When a person creates a special gift, with their own hands for a friend, and the friend thinks so little of the symbolism behind the gift by giving it away, that seems low to me. To then casually tell Janice about it was cruel. It's no wonder to me that she's a former friend.


I meant when "I" give a gift to someone, it's theirs to keep, give away, or whatever, no strings attached. If you knew how many times my mother-in-law has returned or given away a gift I picked out for her, you would understand my feelings about this kind of situation.
And yes, I agree that it was ill-mannered of Janice's friend to tell her that she gave the gift away after all the time, effort & money that she put into making it. But about all you can do is not give that person such a nice gift in the future.

You got that right, lol. The thing that got me was how she went on how much her mother loved it. She told her mother that she bought it at a speciality florist shop. She told me how much she hated parting with it, but it made such a great Christmas gift and that she "couldn't resist". The kindest and classiest way to handle it would be to ask me to make her mother a basket and to reimburse me. I would have done it for my costs only.

I don't give gifts with strings attached. If that had been a shirt, or anything else that I hadn't put my heart into, I wouldn't have cared. This happened in 2001, and I can still remember being at Mailbox Etc., as they we packing the basket with that popcorn filling and feeling so excited.

I understand how you feel & it was very ill-mannered of your friend to have done that.

It's not a matter of strings attached. When a person creates a special gift, with their own hands for a friend, and the friend thinks so little of the symbolism behind the gift by giving it away, that seems low to me. To then casually tell Janice about it was cruel. It's no wonder to me that she's a former friend.

Yes telling Janice was cruel in addition to being tacky esp. when the gift showed so much effort and thought. The best 2nd gift for unappreciative and tacky "friends" is NOTHING.

Well..... I hate to tell you this but your brother and his wife should have told you and your mom they don't like this restaurant then offer to pay you both back. Plus, at least the cards are being used, unlike millions of gift cards that are probably not used as much.

Thanks for the thought......I am trying my best not to let such petty thoughts overtake my viewpoint in life, it is hard at times, though.

I'm a regifter but only on stuff that is unused of course and if i believe it will be more useful or beneficial to someone else with that said though i would be very disceet about it and not let the person who gave it to me know. however if its a very personal gift, that someone put time, effort and thought into, i would not regift it. for instance, my stepmom gave me a wizard of oz watch that i DO like but even IF i didn't like it I would still keep it because it was a very special gift to me with her having me in mind when she picked it out and seeing her excitemnt when she gave it to me and watched me unwrap it.

http://usera.ImageCave.com/ur_next_ex/BrandNewStuff/ItBelongsToThem.jpg
Once You Give Someone Something, It's All Theirs To Do With As They Wish.

I always ask for money for christmas or birthday. its lot easy that way. i wouldn't mind gift cards either. i got 25 doallorsworth worth as christmas gift.

The thing is, I was making the baskets for my family and friends. I e-mailed her pictures, and she loved them. The baskets cost $50+ to make, and I went to Mailbox Etc, to send it to her in Michigan, and that cost me $30. She was so cavalier when she told me too, like it was the thing to do. If I was friendly with her mother, I guess I wouldn't have minded as much.


I would have been. Especially if she liked them so much. I probably would have called you and thanked you and told you how much I loved it. If I wanted one for my mother, I would ask you to make me one and I'd pay for it (including the mailing). If it was too close to Christmas, then wait and give one to mom for her birthday or Mothers' Day.

Maybe she was thinking she was flattering you, but I think she just thought she could get away with an amazing gift for her mom cheaply.

LOL (inside joke here)

Janice - from now on, get all your gifts ENGRAVED! It might end up costing you a fortune, but at least you know the ingrate CAN'T regift it! ;) :lol:



(boy, we DO think alike - I didn't even see your other post before I posted my response).