There are 30 days in a leap year.

Here comes the …

Here comes the quick brown fox.

Bet your bottom dollar That tomorrow There'll be ____!

Taxes

A bird in the hand is worth...

A bird in the hand is worth 15 Tweets.

A stitch in time saves _____.

A bundle of money.

A penny saved is a .....

A penny saved is a ..... quarter lost

The early bird catches the...

The early bird catches the apple.

Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. But, together both, They licked the ________ clean.

Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. But, together both, They licked the bowl clean.

Rub-a-dub-dub, Three men in a ...

bathing suit :D

abcdefg...................

LNPRT

There are sixteen ounces to a ....

There are sixteen ounces to a cup.

One if by Land, and Two if by ____.

Cable car

I think that I shall never see a sight as lovely as a ....

I think that I shall never see a sight as lovely as a bee.

There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a _____

Marble

I don’t know why she swelled a fly, perhaps….

she will play poker :D

Row row row your boat gently down the.........

Niagara.

Mary had a little …

Mary had a little … dog

Rub a dub dub…

Rub a dub dub.....his name is Bub.

Mamaaa,
Just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger,
Now he's ______

Rub a dub dub.....his name is Bub.

Mamaaa,
Just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger,
Now he's ______

In the ER

A stitch in time saves….

A stitch in time saves eight

7th Heaven
When I see their happy faces smilin' back at me
7th Heaven
I know there's no greater feelin' than the love of …

Kitty

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8, 10

Chestnuts roasting on an open...

Chestnuts roasting on an open active volcano, hot spot, near the Ring of Fire.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't . . . .

Make him whinny

A bird in the hand is ….

A bird in the hand is worth a long-term investment strategy.

Birds of a feather . . . .

Are color coordinated!

Mary had a little …..

Are color coordinated!

Mary had a little …..

:lol: Good one!

Mary had a little hitch in her get-along.

There was an old woman who . . . .

:lol: Good one!

Mary had a little hitch in her get-along.

There was an old woman who . . . .

Thanks!:wave:

shopped at KMart

Jack Sprat could eat no …..

Jack Sprat could eat no Gluten or Lactose.

Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse . . .

Zoomed across the computer screen

An elephant never …..

An elephant never …..

Two birds, one...

An elephant never plays the piano.

Two birds, one raccoon.

Meet me in St. Louis, Louis,
Meet me at the ______

Meet me in St. Louis, Louis,
Meet me at the Eiffel Tower

Start spreading the...

Start spreading the compost around the garden.

On the first part of the journey, I was . . . .

Turning cartwheels.

How many items are in a dozen?

How many items are in a dozen? 5

First I was afraid, I was...

First I was afraid, I was second.

You don't miss your water, until . . .

A huge water bill comes.

Don’t count your chickens until….

Don’t count your chickens until you go thru KFC'S drive thru.

When in Rome . . .

Order spaghetti

You can’t teach an old dog …..

You can’t teach an old dog how to play the tuba.

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any ______

Hashish

Who’s afraid of the big bad ….

Who's afraid of that big bag of Hashish. :)


Don't cry over spilled . . .

Glitter

Better late than…

Better late than calling in sick.

The early bird gets the . . . .

Commuter special!

Rub a dub dub, three men in a …..

Rub a dub dub, three men in a compromising position.

Every cloud has a . . .

Fluffy inside

If at first you don’t succeed…

If at first you don’t succeed, forget about it.

Happy as a . . .

Stoner

The answer my friend is blowing …

in the air conditioning vent

Hip hip ______

Go take a skip!

Where there’s a will, there’s a …..

Where there’s a will, there’s a greedy relative!

I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the _____

Governor

I dig Rock n Roll…..

I dig Rock n Roll... history

Space, the final...

Space, the final Curtain.

Not my cup of . . .

Whiskey

A watched pot never….

A watched pot never... gets hot

A tree grows in...

A tree grows in the middle of your sidewalk.

Money doesn't grow on . . .

Money doesn't grow on the lawn.

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a _________.

Shake N Bake coating.

A stitch in time….

A stitch in time... saves one

A bushel and a...

A bushel and a kernel

Here we go round the _________ bush
On a cold and frosty morning.

Gladiola

To market to market to buy a fat …

To market to market to buy a fat cigar

How much ____ could a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck ____

Luck….luck

Three coins in a …

Three coins in a piggy bank

If at first you don't succeed, ________ again.

Try to get someone else to do

Haste makes ….

Haste makes paste.

A bird in hand is worth ___ in the bush.

Twenty-five

How many dimes are in a dollar?

88 dimes are in a dollar.

Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your ______
In fact it's cold as hell

Roses

Better late than ..,

Better late than at 2:58 A.M.

Put your best foot _______

In a designer shoe.

A stitch in time….

A stitch in time closes the parallel universe.

Baa baa black sheep have you any ____?

Coal?

Yes sir yes sir three ……

Yes sir yes sir three cows and a bull.

Home again, home again, jiggety _____

Mumplety peg

Humph Dumpty sat on a ….

Humpty Dumpty sat on a virtual goldmine.

Don't cry over spilled . . .

Whiskey

A watched pot…

A watched pot always burns.

You Can't Always Get What ________

what’s on sale at your local supermarket.

When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go…

When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go to Cheers.

You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your ______.

Personal business

Diamonds, daisies, snowflakes ….

Grapes

1,2,3,3,2....

76

All the lonely people, where do …..

All the lonely people, where do they buy their shoes?

Dogs begin to bark and hounds begin to howl
Watch out strange cat people
Little red rooster's on the ________

Motorcycle

Patty Lane and Cathy are ….

Patty Lane and Cathy are riding their bikes to school.

Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that _______

Beachfront tide

Come ride the little train that is rolling down to track to…

Come ride the little train that is rolling down the track to Brewster, New York.

Early to rise, early to bed.
In and between I cooked and cleaned and went _______________.

Shopping at KMart

Too many cooks in….

Too many cooks in the bathroom at Mel's Diner

A day without sunshine is like _____________.

A day without Sue Ann Nivens

Who can turn the world on with her ….

Who can turn the world on with her nose?

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The _________________________

Greatest balancing act ever!

There a little hotel called Tge Shady Rest at ….

There's a little hotel called The Shady Rest at Tombstone Manor.

Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two ______

Let's ride with the family down the street
Through the courtesy of Fred's two lead balloons.

As the World . . . .

Pivots on it’s axis

The Young And The …..

The Young And The ….. Sleepless

The Bold And The...

The Bold and Homely

The Edge Of…..

The Edge Of….. Today

As The World...

Fox Trots

Love Is A Many ….

Love is a many fractured thing!

Well, we're moving on up, to the . . . .

Well, we're moving on up, to the . . . . west side (movin on up)

Boy, the way Glenn Miller played

Songs that made the ...

Songs that made the dogs howl

Everywhere that Mary went the _____ was sure to go.

Vice squad

The farmer in the dell. The farmer in the dell. Hi Ho the merry-o the……

The farmer in the dell. The farmer in the dell. Hi Ho the merry-o the…… farmer in the house

Amazing grace

How sweet the...

How sweet the absolute thought!

The best part of waking up is . . .

The best part of waking up is walking the dogs.

Give your breath long-lasting freshness
With ________!

Give your breath long-lasting freshness

With bubblegum!

I get up and nothin' gets me...

I get up and nothin' gets me in the mood to work.


Love, exciting and new, Come aboard. we're . . . .

We accept walk-ins

You can lose your mind when cousins….

You can lose your mind when cousins are two peas in a pod.

Their creepy and their kooky
Mysterious and spooky
Their all together ooky
The Addams...

Presidency!

Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Tomorrow I’ll….

Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you. Tomorrow I’ll…. hug you

In the town where I was born
Lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of...

In the town where I was born
Lived a man who sailed to sea
And he told us of his life
In the land of Bedrock!

Flintstones, the modern ______ family

Quarry rock pile employed

From the town of Bedrock, they’re a page right out of….

From the town of Bedrock, they’re a page right out of The Peanut Gallery.

Gimme a break I sure deserve it
It's time I made it to the _____.

Gimme a break I sure deserve it
It's time I made it to the moon and back.

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your ______.

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your . . . Bank Account.


Moving on up to the East side
We finally got a piece of . . . .

Moving on up to the East side
We finally got a piece of cake.

Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they _____.

Three blind mice, three blind mice, See how they built . . . Three Shopping Malls.


Now, the world don't move
To the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you,
May not be . . . .

Now, the world don't move
To the beat of just one drum,
What might be right for you,
May not be right for Eve Plumb.

I should have stayed on the farm
I should have listened to my ________.

I should have stayed on the farm
I should have listened to my . . . Palm Pilot.

Melts in your mouth
not in . . . . .

Melts in your mouth
not in your backpack

America Runs on _______

America Runs On Starbucks

I'm Lovin' _______

I'm Lovin' The Munsters.

Ice cold milk and _____

I'm Lovin' The Munsters.

Ice cold milk and popsicles

Like a good neighbor

Like a good neighbor
The milkman is there.

One, two buckle my _____.

One, two buckle my sneakers

Hickory dickory dock. The mouse went up the _____.

Hickory dickory dock. The mouse went up the sock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the dish ran away with the _____

The little dog laughed to see such fun
And the dish ran away with the TV Sports Announcer!

It's beginning to look a lot like . . . .

It's beginning to look a lot like twilight.

Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that ______

Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that rural life.

Have yourself a merry little ______.

Have yourself a merry little St. Patrick's Day.

My name is Victoria Winters. My journey is beginning. A journey that I hope will open the doors of life to me and link my past with my ______.

My name is Victoria Winters. My journey is beginning. A journey that I hope will open the doors of life to me and link my past with my Big Red Buckle.

Rudolf the red nose Reindeer, have a very . . . . .

Rudolf the red nose Reindeer, have a very . . . . . dull nose.

Frosty the…

Frosty the Milkman.

Father Knows _____

Father Knows Where All the Bodies Are Buried.

One Flew Over the _____________.

One Flew Over the Rainbow

Smokey and the _____________.

Smokey and the Dog

My Bonnie lies over the ocean
My Bonnie lies over the____

My Bonnie lies over the ocean
My Bonnie lies over the mountain

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you ____

Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you said.

Ring-a-ring-a-rosies
A pocket full of ______

Ring-a-ring-a-rosies
A pocket full of daisies

Old MacDonald had a ______

Old MacDonald had a mouse.

All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty ________

open again....

Why does Mcdonalds close at 11pm? (Some of them)

Why does Mcdonalds close at 11pm? (Some of them)

Because Farmer McDonald needs to get home to watch The Late Show

Is cereal actually soup?

No.

What came first? The chicken or the ________?

apple :)

What colour is the sky?

What color is the sky?

Pea Green

What color are peas?

Blue of course :)

What are you gonna have for dinner?

10 pizzas!

What are you going to have for a midnight snack?

What are you going to have for a midnight snack?

Toast

What are you going to have for breakfast?

What are you going to have for breakfast?

2 stacks of waffles

What time do you usually go to bed?

Afternoon

What noise is coming from the trees?

It's a plane!

What time is breakfast tomorrow?

22:44

What do you drive?

a bus

What color is your carpet?

White

What colour is yours?

Red

What color is your grass?

Purple

What is a boxwood?

A boxwood is an animal who is a cross between a boxer and a woodchuck.

What is a Weimaraner?

That is a seaman who drinks too much weim.

What does antidote mean?

An antidote is someone who dotes on their aunt.

What does bumfuzzle mean?

That is too much fuzzle on a bum's face.

What does fulminate mean?

Fulminate means to film something in nature.

What is Elton John famous for?

He invented the flushing toilet.

What is chow mein?

Chow Mein is potato chowder.

Who is Mung Daal?

It's an Oriental version of the Ken doll.

What is a whippersnapper?

A whippersnapper is what they call a boomerang in the Outback.

Where is the Outback?

The Outback is west of the Inback.

What is a frankenberry?

A Frankenberry is a band member of the trio made up of Frank, Ken, and Barry.

What is Ecuador?

That is a brand name for an environmentally-designed, energy-smart front door.

What is monolithic?

Monolithic is an autoimmune disease you get from licking stuff.

What does Byzantine refer to?

Aspirin...

What day comes before wednesday?

Friday

What is a fruitcake?

This is a cake of soap that has a fruity scent.

What does autoimmune mean?

Autoimmune means your car will never break down.

What is Jabberwocky?

That's walking with a person who is always yakking

What is antifreeze?

Antifreeze is anything over 70 degrees.

What or Who is G-Eazy?

That is a disease that has a wheeze named after Mr. G-Eazy. "G-Eazy was Wheezy"

What is badminton?

Badminton is when your mittens aren't warm enough.

What is Limburger?

Limburgers are little black spots that grow on trees.

What is Eggnog?

That's when your noggin is mushy like a soft boiled egg.

What is antifreeze?

Antifreeze is another name for boots.

What are tulips?

Tulips are parts of the body everybody has 2 of; another word is "kisser."

What does four on the floor mean?

Four on the floor means a baby is crawling.

What does the word prestige mean?

Prestige is the foot brake of a car.

Bamboozle

Bamboozle was the name of Bambi's father.

What is a sheep?

What is a sheep?

A Boat

What is Mistletoe used for?

A mistletoe is used to launch a toe into space.

What is gig speed?

What is gig speed?

The maximum speed allowed in Walmart parking lots.

What happens if you break a mirror?

You go to pieces.

What does "the bomb" mean?

What does "the bomb" mean?

The bomb is when you eat too much at Taco Bell.

What is a rhino?

What is a Rhino?

A person that drinks Wine to excess.

What is a Knuckle Sandwich?

What is a Knuckle Sandwich?

It's when you grip the steering wheel in a fit of road rage.

What is falling in love?

This is when you love to fall in the water.

What does "far out" mean?

Far out means you've entered the twilight zone.

What is burning the candle at both ends?

Burning the candle at both ends shows you which direction North and South are.

What's a 5 o'clock shadow?

5 o'clock shadow is what the groundhog sees when he comes out of his burrow.

What is Groundhog Day?

Ground Hog's Day is the 102nd day of every other year to celebrate Hooterville's Corn Squeezin's Fest.

Who was Humpty Dumpty?

Humpty Dumpty was a giant camel with four humps on his back.

Who or what is Scooby-Doo?

Scooby-Doo is a TV Weather Forecaster for channel K-ZOO.

Where is Waldo?

Waldo is in Oregon--a tiny town of 300.

What does thimble mean?

Thimble means Timothy is full of bull.

What is a harvester?

This is a speech therapist who specializes is removing the "er"s in orators' speeches.

What is astrophysics?

Astrophysics is what you take when your stomach feels queasy.

Where did they go, when the Dish ran away with the Spoon?

When the Dish ran away with the Spoon, they went to Panera Bread.

Who is Mother Goose?

Mother Goose was the lady who married Father Time.

You can lead a horse to water but you can't . . . .

get him away because he drinks too much.

Busy as a ____

Busy as a baker

Baker, Baker, Baker Man, bake me a _______ as fast as you can!

Baker, Baker, Baker Man, bake me a Magic Muffin as fast as you can.

What gifts are given on Valentine's Day?

Gifts given on Valentine's Day include candy corn and candy apples.

What is collected on Halloween?

Rent payments.

Name a song sung at Christmastime.

You Can't Always Get What You Want

What is Mick Jagger famous for?

Mick Jagger is famous for his Blue Suede shoes.

People in glass houses shouldn't . . . . . . .

People in glass houses shouldn't pick their noses.

Hickory dickory dock.
The mouse ran up the _____.

Hickory dickory dock.
The mouse ran up the hill.

What is the name of Barney Fife's girlfriend?

The name of Barney Fife's girlfriend is Hazel.

Life is about making an impact, not making a _______.

Life is about making an impact, not making a impoot.

What happens when you get "Cold Feet"?

When you get cold feet, your feet are so frozen stiff that you end up running really fast to warm them up.

Bat Masterson is a lawman who roams the West, charming women and defending ______.

Bat Masterson is a lawman who roams the West, charming women and defending the Constitution of the United States.

What happens when you get the Cold Shoulder?

When you get the Cold Shoulder you put on a sweater. :)

What is Head & Shoulders?

Head & Shoulders, is new trendy ruffled red sweater, called Head & Shoulders.

What's Jay Walking?

Jay Walking is when Jay Leno does his man on the street segments.

What is David Letterman known for?

David Letterman is known for falling into a Billboard Zesto Soup Bowl.

Where does Uncle Sam live?

He lives at the US Treasury building.

What is a land shark?

Land Shark is another name for Dentist.

Where do you find Cooties?

Cooties are found on the soles of old coots' feet.

What is Green Acres about?

Green Acres is a town where little green aliens live from the planet Ork.

Where is the Windy City?

The Windy City is another name for Washington D.C.

What is VapoRub?

VapoRub is a liquid furniture polish that not only lifts dirt and smudges, but over time will vaporize or make your piece of furniture invisible.

Where does the Jolly Green Giant live?

The Jolly Green Giant lives in a bubble, boy. He's a bubble boy.

Who is Gilligan?

Gilligan was a 14th Century Duke, first cousin once removed of Queen Minnow I of Naples, who can often be seen on a 3 hour tour.

What melts in your mouth and not in your hand?

What melts in your mouth and not in your hand? The butter that drizzled off of my biscuit

What is a parasol?

ParaSols (plural) - triplets, one named Moe and his brother Sol and his other brother Sol.

What is a tootsie roll?

A tootsie roll is an exercise for women named Tootsie. Nobody else should try it.

What is a lollipop?

A lollipop is a new savory gourmet Popcorn, with a little Lolli sprinkled on top.

What's so special about a four leaf Clover?

It causes some kids of below-average intelligence to get their head caught in a fence looking for one.

What is a Klondike Bar?

A Klondike Bar is a watering hole in Alaska.

What is a watering hole?

A watering hole is another name for "Old Faithful".


Red and Blue makes what color?

Red and Blue make the color Bled, also known as the color Rue.

What is a canary?

A Canary is a second cousin to a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

You can lead a horse to water but . . . .

You can lead a horse to water but he might spit some out on your face.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a _____.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a tack and broke his back.

If I knew you were coming I would of ........

If I knew you were coming I would've bolted the door.

Who is Theodore Cleaver?

Theodore Cleaver was born at the mouth of the Amazon, which is a river, and when he was a baby, he was stolen out of his crib, by a crocodile. In the nick of time, he was saved by a friendly headhunter with a Blow gun. During the War, he was a secret General, where he had many interesting experiences. Now, he has a job at the Office, and can take a pill without water.

Snug as a Bug in .......

Snug as a Bug in a Nightclub

It's a little bit funny
This feeling inside
I'm not one of those who can easily _____