callmetootie
06-20-2001, 03:02 PM
Season 1
Episode 1
"The Million Dollar Ticket"
Mrs. Parker: Hello everyone!
Jack: Hi Mrs. Parker.
Mr. Furley: Hey foxy lady.
Mrs. Parker: Go run away with one Ralph. Ok, it's time for the rent. Who's got it?
Lana: I don't right now, my paycheck doesn't come for other week.
Jack: What are you looking at me for? I don't have it, my rent for the restaurant is high enough.
Mrs. Parker: And you Ralph?
Mr. Furley: Do you take travelers checks?
Mrs. Parker: Tomorrow, if you don't have the rent, out you go. Pazoot! Gone, bye-bye, tomorrow.
[Mrs. Parker leaves]
Lana: That oldie is so disturbing. So, Jack. Do you want to come to my room, and let off some steam...or maybe some clothing.
Jack: Down girl.
Mr. Furley: You know Jack, if you weren't..well..you know, then I wouldn't mind you and Lana's relationship.
Jack: Right, RF. Well, tonight we're going to eat in style.
Lana: You mean I get to eat you all up?
Mr. Furley: Down girl.
Jack: I'm making Chicken Florentine with Pepperjack Alfredo Sauce.
Lana: And after that...dessert...
Jack: Lana, did your mother like the way you acted?
Lana: No not really. She was a stripper.
Jack: We need the money.
Lana: You know Jack, gambling works out alot. I have $3.00 on me. We can get 3 lottey tickets.
Jack: I don't know. I wouldn't want to blow cash on lottey tickets.
Lana: Then an extended dessert instead?
Jack: Let's get some.
[20 minutes later back from the grocery store, with tickets]
Jack: So, let's see if we're million dollar winners...right Lana?
Lana: Right...loverboy.
Jack: If I win the lottey, I'm gonna buy you a house in Siberia. So, I won a million dollars?
Lana: Yes, you did.
Jack: I thought so...what!!!!
Lana: Yes, it says that you won $1 million dollars.
Jack: I'm Jack boy rich!!!!
[Mr. Furley walks in]
Mr. Furley: Ok guys, I've got to vacuum here, so leave the apartment please.
Lana and Jack: Ok.
Jack: I'll leave the lottery ticket in my favorite magazine, so nothing will happen to it.
[They leave]
Mr. Furley: Hmmmm. That Jack just leaves his magazines around.
[Throws it out]
[30 minutes later]
Jack: Now all I have to do, is send it in. Ok, let me get my magazine with the ticket in it.
Lana: Ok.
Jack: I can't find it, it's not there. What the hell happened? None of my old magazines are here.
Lana: If you were a magazine, where would you be?
Jack: In a news stand.
Lana: I don't know what happened?
[Lana looks under couch, Jack looks under table, Lana looks under bed, Jack looks under bed, Lana looks under another bed, Jack gets a sandwich out of the kitchen, Lana blow dries her hair]
Jack: I can't find it. I found some roast beef for a sandwich though. Mr. Furley!!!
[Mr. Furley walks in from the bathroom]
Mr. Furley: Yep.
Jack: Did you throw out anything today?
Mr. Furley: Yes, I did. A candy wrapper, some magazines...
Jack: You what?
Mr. Furley: And an envelope if it matters.
Jack: YOU WHAT?
[Mrs. Parker comes in]
Mrs. Parker: WOO-HOO!!!!
Jack: What?
Mrs. Parker: I looked in the dumpster, and found this million dollar ticket!!! Oh, I don't worry, you don't have to pay the rent.
[Lana and Jack faint]
THE END
What did you think of it?
------------------
Andrew Carden
Episode 1
"The Million Dollar Ticket"
Mrs. Parker: Hello everyone!
Jack: Hi Mrs. Parker.
Mr. Furley: Hey foxy lady.
Mrs. Parker: Go run away with one Ralph. Ok, it's time for the rent. Who's got it?
Lana: I don't right now, my paycheck doesn't come for other week.
Jack: What are you looking at me for? I don't have it, my rent for the restaurant is high enough.
Mrs. Parker: And you Ralph?
Mr. Furley: Do you take travelers checks?
Mrs. Parker: Tomorrow, if you don't have the rent, out you go. Pazoot! Gone, bye-bye, tomorrow.
[Mrs. Parker leaves]
Lana: That oldie is so disturbing. So, Jack. Do you want to come to my room, and let off some steam...or maybe some clothing.
Jack: Down girl.
Mr. Furley: You know Jack, if you weren't..well..you know, then I wouldn't mind you and Lana's relationship.
Jack: Right, RF. Well, tonight we're going to eat in style.
Lana: You mean I get to eat you all up?
Mr. Furley: Down girl.
Jack: I'm making Chicken Florentine with Pepperjack Alfredo Sauce.
Lana: And after that...dessert...
Jack: Lana, did your mother like the way you acted?
Lana: No not really. She was a stripper.
Jack: We need the money.
Lana: You know Jack, gambling works out alot. I have $3.00 on me. We can get 3 lottey tickets.
Jack: I don't know. I wouldn't want to blow cash on lottey tickets.
Lana: Then an extended dessert instead?
Jack: Let's get some.
[20 minutes later back from the grocery store, with tickets]
Jack: So, let's see if we're million dollar winners...right Lana?
Lana: Right...loverboy.
Jack: If I win the lottey, I'm gonna buy you a house in Siberia. So, I won a million dollars?
Lana: Yes, you did.
Jack: I thought so...what!!!!
Lana: Yes, it says that you won $1 million dollars.
Jack: I'm Jack boy rich!!!!
[Mr. Furley walks in]
Mr. Furley: Ok guys, I've got to vacuum here, so leave the apartment please.
Lana and Jack: Ok.
Jack: I'll leave the lottery ticket in my favorite magazine, so nothing will happen to it.
[They leave]
Mr. Furley: Hmmmm. That Jack just leaves his magazines around.
[Throws it out]
[30 minutes later]
Jack: Now all I have to do, is send it in. Ok, let me get my magazine with the ticket in it.
Lana: Ok.
Jack: I can't find it, it's not there. What the hell happened? None of my old magazines are here.
Lana: If you were a magazine, where would you be?
Jack: In a news stand.
Lana: I don't know what happened?
[Lana looks under couch, Jack looks under table, Lana looks under bed, Jack looks under bed, Lana looks under another bed, Jack gets a sandwich out of the kitchen, Lana blow dries her hair]
Jack: I can't find it. I found some roast beef for a sandwich though. Mr. Furley!!!
[Mr. Furley walks in from the bathroom]
Mr. Furley: Yep.
Jack: Did you throw out anything today?
Mr. Furley: Yes, I did. A candy wrapper, some magazines...
Jack: You what?
Mr. Furley: And an envelope if it matters.
Jack: YOU WHAT?
[Mrs. Parker comes in]
Mrs. Parker: WOO-HOO!!!!
Jack: What?
Mrs. Parker: I looked in the dumpster, and found this million dollar ticket!!! Oh, I don't worry, you don't have to pay the rent.
[Lana and Jack faint]
THE END
What did you think of it?
------------------
Andrew Carden