I know there are probably people getting tired of hearing about this mystery man who suddenly showed up after a year long absence, but please bear with me a little more as I give you all a little report on me. First of all I'm online now. Well, kind of. I joined some two month free internet deal until I can afford high speed. More importantely than that though, I got an update on my health. On Tuesday I saw my new psychiatrist, and he started weaning me off four of my meds. I've been really feeling it because three of these four meds Iv'e been on for over 4 years. The thing that's been the toughest is my adderol. Adderol is basically speed, which I've been taking for my ADD, and since I've been taking it unstopped for so long, the side affects I'm feeling are torture at times. I'm in alot of physical pain which I'm thankfully getting painkillers for, but I have basically spent the last 2 days throwing up, and tossing and turning in bed. As bad as it all sounds, it's really not as bad as it could be. I have a nurse practitioner once again, and she drops by and checks on me up to twice a day. As I get better her visits will be reduced. So the bottom line is I'm very supervised, and as the next couple weeks go by, and as I get my old meds out of me and my new ones in me, I'll be feeling much better. I wanted to write this though because I didn't want to go a week or so without writing and have you all worrying about me. I don't intend on ever doing that to you all again. I feel bad enough knowing I did it to begin with. :( Bottom line though, I will be okay, and in a couple weeks, my medical people and myself hope that I'll be better than ever!! If not, as my psychiatrist said, we'll just keep trying until we do find what is right for me. :D I love you guys, and in the meantime I'll pop in whenever I can. I hope you all have a great day, and weekend ahead!! :wave:

P.S. Janice, I'm still waiting for that call!!! ;)

Hang in there Brad - we're all pulling for you here! :)

It'll suck going through the withdrawal, but everytime you puke, think how it's just more of the bad drugs getting out of your system for the good ones. It's just the natural way the body gets rid of something bad.

Looking forward to you feeling better and getting back posting more frequently.

(I'm sort of in the same boat as you with the getting sick to my stomach so we can think about each other while we're huggin' the porcelain!) ;)

Hang in there Brad - we're all pulling for you here! :)

It'll suck going through the withdrawal, but everytime you puke, think how it's just more of the bad drugs getting out of your system for the good ones. It's just the natural way the body gets rid of something bad.

Looking forward to you feeling better and getting back posting more frequently.

(I'm sort of in the same boat as you with the getting sick to my stomach so we can think about each other while we're huggin' the porcelain!) ;)

That's a very good way to look at it, and I promise you I will start looking at it that way. I know first hand how when you go through this you feel like you'll never get better, but when you finally do get through it, it almost feels like you're in Heaven.

I'm so sorry you've been sick too Cathie, I had no idea. Here I've been complaining, and telling everyone of my conditioning, and you've been sick too. I'm sooooo sorry. :( Had I known, I wouldn't have been so selfish. I will think of you everytime I take that porcelain dive, and we'll have each other to get through it. :heart:

I love you soooooooo much Cathie, and I just want you to know that if you EVER need another friend to talk to, I'm only an email, or a phone call away!!! I'll always be here for my Angel!! :angel:

Thanks Sweetie! And don't you worry about me - this thread was about you (the same with the first one) and NOT about me otherwise I could create my own.

And I'll be fine - I'm too stubborn to let it win. Besides, as they say, "only the good die young" so I know I've got lots of time left here yet!! :lol:


(heck - I might even changed my sig to read: I need this like I need a hole in the head!) ;)

Wow...and I thought the Paxil withdrawls were bad.

Hang in there; sounds like all this is for your betterment in the long run. :)

Brad, you are one of the strongest individuals I know. I also know, that you are going to be able to "tough this out" and be even stronger at the end; hang in there, my friend. I am always praying and thinking about you. Love ya, lots and lots and lots and lots:)

Wow! That sounds tough, Brad!!! :( But you know, if anyone can handle it, you can!!! You've been through so much and come out a champ through all of it, so, like everyone else has said, hang in there and stay strong!!! :wave: :wave: :wave:

Sometimes medications can be more of the problem than the solution...

glad to see you've come back Brad (you probably remember me as BuffySlayer/Dean Winchester). I too have mental health issues (Aspergers, bipolar and ADD in one is a toxic combo) and try to avoid anything potentially stressful because I don't need it. Hope you stay with us for awhile

I had to switch my social anxiety meds a few months ago, so I feel your pain. Hang in there sweetie, I love you and I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!! :bighug:

hang in there, Brad! I know it's tough, but I'm confident you'll get through it!

glad to see you've come back Brad (you probably remember me as BuffySlayer/Dean Winchester). I too have mental health issues (Aspergers, bipolar and ADD in one is a toxic combo) and try to avoid anything potentially stressful because I don't need it. Hope you stay with us for awhile

I'm so sorry for all you have to deal with on a daily basis. I also have add, OCD, Panic disorder, borderline personality disorder, and agoraphobia, so I definitely have some idea of how you feel. I know we've never known each other very well, but if you ever need anyone to talk to about anything, I'm always here. And I mean that. Hang in there buddy!! :)

Thank you everybody for your kindness. I'm starting to get a little sick right now, but I will be okay. I'm gonna try to sleep now, and thankfully I have a sweet mom who took tomorrow off to take care of me when it gets too rough. Once again, thank you everyone, and please know I will be okay. Whenever I get too down, I'll just look at this dude.

:jig: :lol:

Thank you everybody for your kindness. I'm starting to get a little sick right now, but I will be okay. I'm gonna try to sleep now, and thankfully I have a sweet mom who took tomorrow off to take care of me when it gets too rough. Once again, thank you everyone, and please know I will be okay. Whenever I get too down, I'll just look at this dude.

:jig: :lol:
Brad, as I mentioned earlier; you are in my thoughts, in my heart and in my prayers. Sending you positive vibes your way, sweetie. Also, remember, It is ALWAYS the darkest before the Dawn; you will survive this, and also remember, that you have people, especially me, that love you, dearly:)

Brad, hang in there buddy. I hope the new meds will help and that you will be feeling better. I'm still on the same medication for anxiety/depression that I was placed on in 2006. It's just a higher dosage. My stress the last few weeks has been horrible. The worst recently for me was the night of the 17th. My mother yelled and cursed at me. The f word came out of her mouth a lot. :( She even told me that I am f-ed up and that my mind is f-ed up too. :( She told me I needed to get over what happened to me as a child and get over the armed robbery, her boyfriend, etc. There's more, but I won't bore anyone. I felt so bad and was crying so hard I was shaking. :( I don't mean to make this about me. I know this is your thread. Take care and it's nice to have you back here. :)

:eek: Wow, your mother actually said that you were f**ked up? :( A mother saying that to her daughter, that is what's f**ked up. :(

I know there are probably people getting tired of hearing about this mystery man who suddenly showed up after a year long absence, but please bear with me a little more as I give you all a little report on me. First of all I'm online now. Well, kind of. I joined some two month free internet deal until I can afford high speed. More importantely than that though, I got an update on my health. On Tuesday I saw my new psychiatrist, and he started weaning me off four of my meds. I've been really feeling it because three of these four meds Iv'e been on for over 4 years. The thing that's been the toughest is my adderol. Adderol is basically speed, which I've been taking for my ADD, and since I've been taking it unstopped for so long, the side affects I'm feeling are torture at times. I'm in alot of physical pain which I'm thankfully getting painkillers for, but I have basically spent the last 2 days throwing up, and tossing and turning in bed. As bad as it all sounds, it's really not as bad as it could be. I have a nurse practitioner once again, and she drops by and checks on me up to twice a day. As I get better her visits will be reduced. So the bottom line is I'm very supervised, and as the next couple weeks go by, and as I get my old meds out of me and my new ones in me, I'll be feeling much better. I wanted to write this though because I didn't want to go a week or so without writing and have you all worrying about me. I don't intend on ever doing that to you all again. I feel bad enough knowing I did it to begin with. :( Bottom line though, I will be okay, and in a couple weeks, my medical people and myself hope that I'll be better than ever!! If not, as my psychiatrist said, we'll just keep trying until we do find what is right for me. :D I love you guys, and in the meantime I'll pop in whenever I can. I hope you all have a great day, and weekend ahead!! :wave:

P.S. Janice, I'm still waiting for that call!!! ;)

I'm rooting for you too, Brad. I also have to take medication for mental issues. I'm on medications for depression, anxiety, obsessive compulsive disorder and social anxiety. I know what you are going through and I hope that you feel better. :)

Thanks Mike and Jen for the kind words. Today particularly sucks as I'm running a 101 fever. For anyone who says mental illness don't mess you up physically, they don't know what they're talking about. Anyway, I'll be fine. I'm sorry Mike about what you go through on a daily basis. I also take meds for all the disorders you mentioned. It's tough, and if you ever need someone to talk to about it, I'm here for you, and that's no b.s. Hang in there and know you have support!! :)

I'm glad everything turned out good with you Jen. It's nice to know that my friends are okay. You're absolutely right about Janice, she is the best. I can't imagine how a person can't fall in love with her huge heart the moment they meet her. Awesome doesn't even describe her. Don't feel bad about the dial up thing, I'm there too. Until I get out of debt, I have no choice but dial up, so you're not alone. Hell, I'm just glad to be online regardless. I can't wait to talk to you on the phone sometime. That would be so cool!! I'll let you know when things start getting a little better, and I'm up for a good chat. Once again I'm glad everything turned out okay for you, and I'm glad to have you as a friend. :hug: :wave:

I'm sorry that I'm just getting around to reading this, Brad. You know I care, A LOT. I'm just in a world of hurt myself over here. Mine is more physical. I'm sorry to hear about your withdrawals. My husband took a medication for less than a month and suddenly stopped. He was so sick, the he ended up in the ER a few weeks ago.

I hope they have a better medication regime planned for you. Once they find the right cocktail, so to speak, it can work wonders. I'm here for you Brad. You know I'm an e-mail gal, so e-mail me! :) We'll plan on chatting on the phone soon. I've just been in a flareup for about three months now, lol. Thanks for your sweet words. You know I adore you. I missed you when you left. I ran every possible scenario through my mind. One of them was that you and Donna were doing so great and she thought SO wasn't good for you and/or the relationship, so she suggested that you quit the site cold turkey. I guess I was wrong there, lol. Sorry, not laughing about it. Just a little gallows humor there. It's just great to have to back here.

:bighug:

Brad, hang in there buddy. I hope the new meds will help and that you will be feeling better. I'm still on the same medication for anxiety/depression that I was placed on in 2006. It's just a higher dosage. My stress the last few weeks has been horrible. The worst recently for me was the night of the 17th. My mother yelled and cursed at me. The f word came out of her mouth a lot. :( She even told me that I am f-ed up and that my mind is f-ed up too. :( She told me I needed to get over what happened to me as a child and get over the armed robbery, her boyfriend, etc. There's more, but I won't bore anyone. I felt so bad and was crying so hard I was shaking. :( I don't mean to make this about me. I know this is your thread. Take care and it's nice to have you back here. :)
Ouch. :( That had to hurt, Jenny. That's wasn't sensitive of your Mother, at all. What happened to you as a child is not something a person just gets over. Same goes for the armed robbery. I'm actually amazed at how well you cope. I've told you off the boards how much I admire you for going to college and getting your degree, despite your visual limitations and the hell you endured as a child. The responsibilities you handle with your sister, who can be a handful at times, as well as all you do at home is to be commended. I give you a lot of credit. I'm not defending your Mother, just suggesting that perhaps she was under a lot of stress with the hurricane. People often say things they don't mean, when they're stressed out.

Brad, hang in there buddy. I hope the new meds will help and that you will be feeling better. I'm still on the same medication for anxiety/depression that I was placed on in 2006. It's just a higher dosage. My stress the last few weeks has been horrible. The worst recently for me was the night of the 17th. My mother yelled and cursed at me. The f word came out of her mouth a lot. :( She even told me that I am f-ed up and that my mind is f-ed up too. :( She told me I needed to get over what happened to me as a child and get over the armed robbery, her boyfriend, etc. There's more, but I won't bore anyone. I felt so bad and was crying so hard I was shaking. :( I don't mean to make this about me. I know this is your thread. Take care and it's nice to have you back here. :)
Oh yes...because the little magic happy fairy will come and sprinkle happy dust on you and it will all go away...!

Seriously, WTF??? Your mother needs to look up a little thing called PTSD before she starts dispensing such wonderful advice as my all time favorite cureall for people who don't remotely comprehend anything mental..."GET OVER IT." Because being abused is no different than a scraped knee.

I'm sorry that I'm just getting around to reading this, Brad. You know I care, A LOT. I'm just in a world of hurt myself over here. Mine is more physical. I'm sorry to hear about your withdrawals. My husband took a medication for less than a month and suddenly stopped. He was so sick, the he ended up in the ER a few weeks ago.

I hope they have a better medication regime planned for you. Once they find the right cocktail, so to speak, it can work wonders. I'm here for you Brad. You know I'm an e-mail gal, so e-mail me! :) We'll plan on chatting on the phone soon. I've just been in a flareup for about three months now, lol. Thanks for your sweet words. You know I adore you. I missed you when you left. I ran every possible scenario through my mind. One of them was that you and Donna were doing so great and she thought SO wasn't good for you and/or the relationship, so she suggested that you quit the site cold turkey. I guess I was wrong there, lol. Sorry, not laughing about it. Just a little gallows humor there. It's just great to have to back here.

:bighug:

I am so sorry that you've been dealing with such pain Janice!!! This saddens me deeply because I know from our past emails and calls that this is something that you've been dealing with for a long long time. I have been praying and hoping all year that you were feeling better, and I will continue to. I do believe in my heart that God will have some major relief for you soon, and I'm going to up the ante immensely on my prayers so that it'll hopefully happen real soon. I Love and care about you soooo much that the thought of you in that much pain has brought several tears to my eyes. But my hope is that soon they'll be tears of joy!! :)

I'm so sorry to about Lou. I so enjoyed talking to him on the phone that time, and could tell right away that he was a good man. My thoughts and prayers will also go out to him each and everyday, I promise!!!

Please don't ever worry when you can't get back to me right away. If you're in physical pain, I'd rather you be doing whatever you can to make yourself feel better, so never worry about that. I can relate because of my ADD, and if you notice, it sometimes takes me longer to get back to some of these more serious messages, because I want to give them the proper focus that they deserve, and the nighttime my mind works better, and has more focus, wheras the daytime it works more in short spurts. So I do understand.

Once again, I can't wait to talk to you on the phone again. Those were some of the highlights of my year last year, and I know they'll be some of the highlights of this year as well. I love you my friend, and we'll be chatting it up real soon!!!

:bighug:

wow, that sounds rough. good luck with everything. :)