Although this topic is dark and painful, most everyone has a sad tale and has been on the receiving end of betrayal.

A relative of mine was just starting their adult life and wanted to settle down. I did everything I could to help this young couple out. Giving money (not loaning), new furniture, engagement ring, helping with college papers (writing them) -- you name it, I did it. They made it to the top with great jobs, a beautiful home and children, and then became too busy for me. I never felt that doing all I did for them meant that I was buying them. I gave from my heart. Still, it stings. :(

Little betrayals. Going way back, I lent my cousin's then boyfriend my new racquet. Racquetball was the rage then. I asked for it back, and just got one story after another. Stories were all I got, as I never saw the racquet again. I could tell that story quite a few times -- just insert a different person and a different borrowed item -- and the outcome is the same.

A longtime friend putting the moves on my boyfriend, while I was letting her stay at my apartment. An online friend coordinating a gangup against me. Online betrayals are as common as in regular life. People start stories, betray confidences, turn on you for no reason, find a new friend and throw you overboard, and the beat goes on.

No good deed goes unpunished.
~ Oscar Wilde


What's your story?

I'm lucky because I can't think of anyone who has really betrayed me. Not online or offline.

I'm very sorry for what you had to go through, Janice. :(

I've actually had 3 people from this board betray me and it hurts deeply, makes it hard to trust anyone.


My best friend in high school betrayed me our Senior year. She spread rumors that I was a Lesbian and made my life hell. :(


I've learned over the years never to fully trust anyone, and that if someone doesn't like you and decides to spread **** about you, **** them, they're cowards.

I've actually had 3 people from this board betray me and it hurts deeply, makes it hard to trust anyone.

:( I hope that you don't consider me one of those people, Lauren.

My best friend in high school betrayed me our Senior year. She spread rumors that I was a Lesbian and made my life hell. :(



Actually, there was this girl I knew in high school who told a whole bunch of people I got her pregnant. :mad: I don't really consider it a betrayal though since that kind of behavior was what you sort of expected from this young lady. She would be 29 now and I sure hope she has grown up a little.

Although this topic is dark and painful, most everyone has a sad tale and has been on the receiving end of betrayal.

A relative of mine was just starting their adult life and wanted to settle down. I did everything I could to help this young couple out. Giving money (not loaning), new furniture, engagement ring, helping with college papers (writing them) -- you name it, I did it. They made it to the top with great jobs, a beautiful home and children, and then became too busy for me. I never felt that doing all I did for them meant that I was buying them. I gave from my heart. Still, it stings. :(

Little betrayals. Going way back, I lent my cousin's then boyfriend my new racquet. Racquetball was the rage then. I asked for it back, and just got one story after another. Stories were all I got, as I never saw the racquet again. I could tell that story quite a few times -- just insert a different person and a different borrowed item -- and the outcome is the same.

A longtime friend putting the moves on my boyfriend, while I was letting her stay at my apartment. An online friend coordinating a gangup against me. Online betrayals are as common as in regular life. People start stories, betray confidences, turn on you for no reason, find a new friend and throw you overboard, and the beat goes on.

No good deed goes unpunished.
~ Oscar Wilde


What's your story?


Sorry you had such horrid experiences Janice. I've had a few, but they're too painful to list right at the moment.

:( I hope that you don't consider me one of those people, Lauren.


Of course not Mike :bighug:

I once dated a guy who turned out to be married - and I had no idea!! :mad: Needless to say, I never went out with him again.

I once dated a guy who turned out to be married - and I had no idea!! :mad: Needless to say, I never went out with him again.

I remember when you first told me about that, Monika.:( It really saddend me. You didn't deserve that. But, it was his loss in the end, I think. He lost out on one heck of a gal.

Of course not Mike :bighug:

I didn't think so. Just wanted to be sure though. :bighug:

I remember when you first told me about that, Monika.:( It really saddend me. You didn't deserve that. But, it was his loss in the end, I think. He lost out on one heck of a gal.
Thank you.

many, many, many times. i don't even bother making friends anymore. two years ago my boyfriend was in the process of buying an engagement ring for me. he suddenly not just left me, but did it viciously and attacked/snubbed me following the breakup with no explanation. last april he promised he would marry me if we could work out some issues. i knew how unhealthy it would be to rush, but i was really thinking about it and considering it until two weeks later when he proposed to his 16-year-old ex, whom he'd whined about and said he preferred me during their whole relationship. almost felt like a stab in the back. i went to a friend's wedding last night and cried during the ceremony because he was all i could think about. last time i believe anything he says, including what he told me before he married her about how he plans on divorcing her for me. god, humans piss me off.

Thank you.

I hope that you had a nice little chat with his wife.

Most of my high school friends dumped me in college because I was going thru a terrible time with anxiety and depression and I became sort of...selfish I guess, because that was my way of being able to function on a day to day basis. They all stopped talking to me and I wouldn't doubt a little behind the back bitching went on. :rolleyes: Whores.

Then there was this guy who threw my personality back in my face and made fun of me. OMG...I wish he'd die. Maybe he is dead...idk, he moved to a different state. However, I did come out of it a better educated person. But I still think about it and get mad, so...

I trust no one. Absolutely no one. Sad, I know, but I can't. I just can't even fathom that because that would be letting my guard down.

Most of my high school friends dumped me in college because I was going thru a terrible time with anxiety and depression and I became sort of...selfish I guess, because that was my way of being able to function on a day to day basis. They all stopped talking to me and I wouldn't doubt a little behind the back bitching went on. :rolleyes: Whores.



When I went through my periods of depression, I also became very self centered. When you are feeling miserable, it is pretty difficult to think of others.

^ I knew about the abuse that you suffered in the hands of your stepfather, but reading this post made me very sad. :( Yeah, you're right, a child should expect an adult to protect tham and to care for them, but certainly not to hurt them. Your stepfather is also a perfect example of how our legal system doesn't work in this country. That man should have been put behind bars.

I'm sorry you went through such terrible things Jenny. :(


A little over 2 years ago, I left home to go to an all girls college located 3 and half hours away. While I was there, I was drugged and raped by one of my suitemates. It was probably the most horrible experience of my life. I called my parents every day, begging to come home, but I couldn't bring myself to tell them what happened, so they told me I had to finish out the semester. Those were the longest 4 months of my life. I never told a soul until earlier this year, I was just too ashamed.

A little over 2 years ago, I left home to go to an all girls college located 3 and half hours away. While I was there, I was drugged and raped by one of my suitemates. It was probably the most horrible experience of my life. I called my parents every day, begging to come home, but I couldn't bring myself to tell them what happened, so they told me I had to finish out the semester. Those were the longest 4 months of my life. I never told a soul until earlier this year, I was just too ashamed.


Oh my God, Lauren. I am so very sorry. :(

Oh my God, Lauren. I am so very sorry. :(


Thanks Mike :bighug: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. What happened to me was terrible, but I'm a much stronger person because of it.

I'm sorry to hear that Lauren. :( That's terrible.


Well, this girl will get hers. You know what they say, Karma is a bitch.

Thanks Mike :bighug: What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. What happened to me was terrible, but I'm a much stronger person because of it.

That's a very mature outlook, Lauren. :bighug:

That's a very mature outlook, Lauren. :bighug:


I can be mature...sometimes ;) :D

^ Jenny, although I already knew your story, reading it again just breaks my heart. The betrayal of a child it the worst betrayal of all, in my opinion. Children depend on adults, especially their parents (step-parents as well), to keep them safe and out of harm's way. If you can't depend on your parents, who can you depend on. The emotional trauma inflicted on you is enormous I'm sure, trust issues, issues with men in general, etc. If this was today, that bastard would have had to serve that time. Public awareness of child abuse is much more heighted today than it was in the 90s. I'm sure all that stress hasn't been good for your overall health, both physically or mentally.

It's a shame that your mother was impatient with you. I imagine, with your vision problems, that you spill things more than often someone with perfect eyesight. That seems logical. I think your mother was overwhelmed with the stresses of being a single mother, working a lot -- then there's the creeps she married. Not making excuses, just saying that she was under enormous pressure.

I'm very sorry you went through all that, Jenny. You were just a little girl. :heart:

^So very sad. :(

Wow you guys...I'm very sorry for all the terrible things you guys have gone through. Makes me look like a whiny baby. But I hope you are all able to mive past the pain. I know that's hard. :hug:

Thanks Janice. :) The charges weren't pressed until a few years afterward. Then with the court system, and all it wasn't until 2000 when he was sentenced to probation. Fear of retaliation from him caused me to remain silent about what happened until 1996....
He deserves death.

Wow you guys...I'm very sorry for all the terrible things you guys have gone through. Makes me look like a whiny baby. But I hope you are all able to mive past the pain. I know that's hard. :hug:

I know what you mean, Cathy. After reading Jenny and Lauren's posts, I was like "Gee, what do I have to complain about?" I've lived a pretty uneventful life.

Most of my high school friends dumped me in college because I was going thru a terrible time with anxiety and depression and I became sort of...selfish I guess, because that was my way of being able to function on a day to day basis. They all stopped talking to me and I wouldn't doubt a little behind the back bitching went on. :rolleyes: Whores.

Then there was this guy who threw my personality back in my face and made fun of me. OMG...I wish he'd die. Maybe he is dead...idk, he moved to a different state. However, I did come out of it a better educated person. But I still think about it and get mad, so...

I trust no one. Absolutely no one. Sad, I know, but I can't. I just can't even fathom that because that would be letting my guard down.
I'm the same way on the trust issue, Cathy. It is sad, but when people have let me down over and over again, it's hard to put my faith in anyone. I have a few inner-circle type friends who I really trust, but beyond that, I've wearing emotional armor. That guy who treated you that way isn't worth the powder to blow him to hell. I'm happy you found a nice guy. :love: It doesn't sound like you lost much with those so-called friends in school. True friends stand by someone who's having a difficult time.

I know how that feels. While it's hard for me to trust people, there are some people I do trust. I used to feel as though I couldn't trust anyone. Before I was in tenth grade I had so little self-esteem that you might as well say I didn't have any. I couldn't trust anyone. I had been hurt enough that I believed that if someone appeared to be being nice to me, that there must be a catch. There must be a hidden motive. Then in tenth grade I was introduced to kindness. The kind that isn't required, but given anyway. Suddenly there was this adult that was being nice to me, treating me kindly, not putting me down, yelling at me, hurting me, etc. At first I couldn't understand why. I didn't think I deserved to have any adult be nice to me. I kept 'waiting for the second shoe to drop' so to speak. I kept waiting for the catch that would explain the kindness. I finally realized there wasn't a catch. I finally was able to see that someone wanted to be nice to me. That it was possible to not be hurt. I'm still friends with that teacher. I think of her as my best friend. She's the one I think of as a mom.
That's great that she was there for you. An angel. :)

I'm the same way on the trust issue, Cathy. It is sad, but when people have let me down over and over again, it's hard to put my faith in anyone. I have a few inner-circle type friends who I really trust, but beyond that, I've wearing emotional armor. That guy who treated you that way isn't worth the powder to blow him to hell. I'm happy you found a nice guy. :love: It doesn't sound like you lost much with those so-called friends in school. True friends stand by someone who's having a difficult time.
It's true, he's not. Wasn't then either, but crushes make you think stupid.

And it did turn out for the best anyway because now I have a real boyfriend that doesn't treat me like dirt. :D

I think most of us have been betrayed by someone, whom, we thought was a friend. I have been there, many of time, and yes, it hurts. The worst betrayal for me took place back in 1997, when I was in an emotional absuive relationship with some ass, who, ironically, I did not even like in the beginning; he and I lived together, even though he was a jealous jerk. I ended up becoming pregnant, and this bastard blamed it on me (hello, it takes two to make a baby) anyways, he is responsilbe for me, never, truly wanting to be in a long term relationship. When we were dating, I felt like I was in jail.
Recently, about two years ago, I befriended this woman, took her everywhere; Hollywood, Santa Monica. Basically expanded her horizons; she showed her appreciation, by never speaking to me, again. And, I did absolutely nothing to this person. Do I truly treat anyone, yes, there are a few friends, that I am blessed to have in my life, both on-line, as well as off. I think all of us, have been kicked in the heart by someone, all I can say, is to trust youself, and to be your friend; and not to sound selfish, remember, that you come first. Respect you and others will do the same.

I too have been betrayed by people I thought were my friends. It's really hard for me to trust people now. Even stuff that happened to me when I was in middle and high school over 10 years ago still hurts.

I've also been betrayed by co-workers. I've learned the hard way not to say anything at work that I don't want getting spread around. I've also been "stabbed in the back" a couple of times by people I stupidly trusted. I have a couple of co-workers I consider my friends, but mostly I just show up, do my job, and go home.

Jenny, your post brought tears to my eyes. It really sickens me how adults can be so cruel to the children that they are supposed to be taking care of. I know quite a few kids at the school I work at who deserve so much better. I wish I could take all those kids home with me. I just give them all the love and support I can at school.

I've also been betrayed by co-workers. I've learned the hard way not to say anything at work that I don't want getting spread around. I've also been "stabbed in the back" a couple of times by people I stupidly trusted. I have a couple of co-workers I consider my friends, but mostly I just show up, do my job, and go home.

That's my job too. I have one co-worker is who so two-faced. She'll tell me she thinks she's got a target on her back, and then she'll go shoot an arrow at me, so to speak. :rolleyes: And she's a total ass-kisser. puke: I go to work every day worried I'll get in trouble because of her and my boss. I wish they'd both go away and let me do my job. I've never lost a kid yet; in fact, they love me best. SO KMA. Actually, I think I work with a lot of jealous people because I have a good relationship with so many kids and they just don't. How petty to be jealous over something as stupid as that!

I've found that people who gossip and rag on people to a person, will do the same to that person. I had a relative on my husband's side, who would talk trash talk about people as soon as they left the family party. I'd always joke to my husband that she was probably talking about us as we were starting up our car, lol.

He also has an aunt who calls him and gives him the scoop on everyone's business. Not in a gossipy way, but still, I don't want any part of it. I told my husband not to tell her our business because, if he did, we'd be part of her "news" report, when she's talking to others. All she does is ask questions. It sounds like he's taking part in a survey when she calls, lol.

i lost my best friend from sixth grade until i was 23 because of her skumbag boyfriend. she met him on a vacation in nc and eventually moved there to be with him. anyway my best friend had always suffered from bulemia and after moving down there the stress of adjusting made it worse, she was almost skeltal. her and the b/f came up for the holidays and compared to how she looked, i had a very buxom figure and her boyfriend ended up hitting on me. i was afraid to say anything to her in fear of stressing her out more so i kept it a secret but then he started calling me after they went back to nc and finally i had no choice but to tell her as i stopped taking all calls that came from their number because most of the time they'd be from him. after i told her she ended up believing whatever tale her b/f spun that probably went something like i'm the one who hit on him. so i lost my friend of 10+ years.

It's sad, but some people are like that. Why they want to be like that, I don't know.
Because they are insecure. I have found people, who usually put others down, behind their backs, are both cowards and have self-esteem issues.

That's my job too. I have one co-worker is who so two-faced. She'll tell me she thinks she's got a target on her back, and then she'll go shoot an arrow at me, so to speak. :rolleyes: And she's a total ass-kisser. puke: I go to work every day worried I'll get in trouble because of her and my boss. I wish they'd both go away and let me do my job. I've never lost a kid yet; in fact, they love me best. SO KMA. Actually, I think I work with a lot of jealous people because I have a good relationship with so many kids and they just don't. How petty to be jealous over something as stupid as that!

I work at a school too. I love the kids, but I've had it with some of my co-workers. There are a couple who try to get me to do stuff for them and whine when I won't help them. I work as a 1:1 aide with this particular student. When he's in the regular classroom, I have to be with him, period. It's in his IEP. I'm sorry, but I can't be off correcting papers, photocopying stuff, etc. while I'm with this child. I may only be an aide, but I still have an important job to do and I can't be doing the stuff you're too lazy to do.

I also have co-workers who gossip non-stop. Drives me nuts! :mad: