Fonzie (after finding his bike all busted up): "It's a mess! I can't fix that! I
may be the best--but I'm not Oral Roberts!" -- Happy Days


"A friend of mine claims that last night his wife shaved off his moustache while
he was sleeping. Y'know, that's the condition of the whole world these days ..
It proves that you can't even tell what's going on under your own nose!"
-- Ed Wynn

"I took up a collection for a man in our office .. but I didn't get enough to buy
one." -- Spinster Gladys Ormphby (Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In)

Lamont Sanford: "We're goin' out tonight, Pop. You're 65 today and I'm takin' you out instead of some chick. Y'know, we don't go out together anymore. Why is that?"
Fred Sanford: "'Cause I'm 65 and I ain't no chick!" -- Sanford & Son

these aren't exactly whole lines but anytime jack trenton of nurses calls paco the orderly a mop jockey always cracks me up. and when he calls the hospital differnt names like "bacteria barn". almost in every episode he calls it something different.

Good ones!