You begin to criticize the coffee everywhere you go, including Starbucks.

You think every detective is a playboy.

You think every cop or detective should wear designer suits.

You walk into your local police station and ask to speak to Detective Wojo.

You walk into your local police station and ask for the detective who resembles that man in the Godfather movie.

You walk into your local police station and ask for the detective who is puerto rican.

You watch ALICE and are shocked that Det. Wentworth ended up a low-paid waitress at a cheesy diner and changed her name, obviously to protect her identity.

You have a massive crush on the Puerto Rican detective. ;) :eyes:

The captain's family disappears.

You request that Yemana NOT make you coffee.

You assume every curly-haired man with glasses knows everything.

You think every old man becomes a foster parent after retirement.

You get mad cravings for:

* prune juice
*bookie sheets
* long drawn out stories by annoying older detectives
*policemen whose last names have c, j, w and x's in them

You can do a perfect vocal impression of Gregory Peck.

You buy day old bread and throw it at pigeons.

You have a tendency to break out into rapid-fire Spanish when you get upset.

You have a sudden urge for brownies. ;)

You think you are turning into a werewolf. :lol:

You have mad cravings for $700 Gucci shirts and $500 Valentino belts

You wished all cops dressed in drag

- You assume that all detective squads work out of the top floor of a dingy police station building
- You keep a signed baseball at your work space
- You get a big cheesy 70s mustache "Cause I look SO good, Barney!"
- You'll only eat brownies if they are laced with hash !! :eek:
- You run to the bathroom every 20 minutes
- You spend all your time in your office, listening to the ravings of a senile old man
- You answer the phone with "Moshii Moshii"

you walk into a police station and expect to see Bernice.

you see a uniformed policeman and think he should look like Officer Levitt.

plain old brownies just don't do it for you anymore

you must see at least one short ambitious policeman each day

You get strong cravings for REALLY AWFUL coffee

Everytime you see a box of prunes you think of Fish

You want to learn to play "bass guitar"

You spend all day in one room

You start crossdressing

You quit you're job and adopt a bunch of kids

^^^^Everyone's posts...:brent :rofl:

You want to learn to play "bass guitar"

You spend all day in one room

You start crossdressing

You quit you're job and adopt a bunch of kids
:brent

You must wear the widest ties/lapels you can find.

You start rambling on about "me and Foster, Kleiner and Brown".

You were/are crushed to learn that Gregory Sierra (Chano) left the show. :(

You faint every time you get a shot.

You feel the urge to assault the candy machine that shortchanged you.

You wonder why Wentworth moved to Arizona, changed her name and became a waitress at a dumpy diner called Mel's.

You wonder why Chano became a South American revolutionary named El Puerco.

You get excited every time Abe Vigoda does a sketch on Conan O'Brien.

You use phrases like "cook-a-boos" and "boo-hoos" a la Inspector Lugar. :lol:

You get frustrated every time someone misspells/mispronounces your long last name a la Wojo. :lol:

You think you might be a werewolf (and you have to get up early to go to worrrrrrrrk)

You live in terror of a heavy rain.

Your hobbies include crawling around in the sewers looking for alligators and jewel thieves.

Your favorite color for a room is olive drab green.

Every tie you own is striped and you hate (and I mean HATE) not rolling your sleeves up and unbuttoning your dress shirts.

You think the Hassidic Jewish community should just "calm down and maybe take a shave".

It's perfectly NORMAL to take seperate vacations from your spouse. The change will do you both GOOD.

You refuse to take up fishing in your retirement: After all, "Fishin'. Who needs it, ha Barn? Ya go out to the 'Island', with your fishin' pole, danglin' a string in the watuh at the end of a smelly pier!" a la Inspector Lugar, in response to Barney Miller's suggestion he take up fishing as a hobby.

:rofl: Those are all great.

You insist that the cockroaches that swarm inside your office building are your pets. :lol:

You start believing that all your rooms are "bugged".

Every couple of minutes people come through your door already engaged in an argument.

You are convinced that rainwater used to make coffee "filters out the IMPURITIES".

You don't flush because you fear obstructing justice.

You have gum-chewing down to an art.

You think every nagging wife should be named Bernice.

You pronounce Barney's first name "Bah-ney" a la Inspector Luger.

You are convinced that Dr.'s Bran cereal causes bad luck. :lol:

At 65 you REFUSE to retire.

Every time you have a problem, you feel the inexplicable urge to call in an expert from downtown.

At Christmas you can't help but buy a blue tree.

Everything you write you do in "triplicate". lol

Whenever you eat Japanese food, you discover your pencil eraser is missing.

Being around a gay couple makes you break into song: "Thank Heaven For Little Girls" (Inspector Luger) :lol:

It's never a good idea to put Harris and Dietrich on a stakeout together. :lol:

You want to go see A Man & a Woman & Another Woman. :rofl:

...you follow other people's statements by saying "Very well put."

...it's the first time you've felt good in twenty years and it's illegal.

...you get money to make a porno film and end up making an art film instead.

^ Those are great. :rofl:

The theme song (in all its variations) constantly runs through your head.

You wear a tie pin shaped like handcuffs.

You wish you knew everything just like Dietrich.

You have an inexplicable oige (urge) to paint all of your walls Olive Drab Green

You give New York State Bonds as a going away gift

You TRY dressing down, you REALLY DO. But you just can't DO IT.(Harris)

You notice that alot of the same people keep coming in, but they keep getting different names each week. lol

The only jacket you own is Used-Car-salesman-plaid (Levitt)

^ I just watched a couple of those episodes online today. :rofl:

[QUOTE=JAlanRuss72]
You notice that alot of the same people keep coming in, but they keep getting different names each week. lol
QUOTE]

You notice that a lot of the same people also showed up on AES Hudson Street (another Danny Arnold show). :lol:

All your phone conversations end with you yelling "H-HELLO?? HELLO!!" ala Harris.

Every time you disagree with someone you give them the ol' Bronx cheer ala Wojo.

Useless knowledge always seems to spew from your lips ala Dietrich.

:lol:

LOL- I just bought season 3 yesterday and have been watching them- great season!

You actually expect someone to remember to pick up coffee---DRIP GROUND--while they're out, even though they are going to arrest a guy who thinks he's a WEREWOLF. (At least WRITE IT DOWN, MAN!!!!- a'la Harris)
:lol:

LOL- I just bought season 3 yesterday and have been watching them- great season!

You actually expect someone to remember to pick up coffee---DRIP GROUND--while they're out, even though they are going to arrest a guy who thinks he's a WEREWOLF. (At least WRITE IT DOWN, MAN!!!!- a'la Harris)
:lol:

:lol: Love it!!!

:lol: Love it!!!
:rofl: I loved that episode. "THIS IS NOT A HORROR MOVIE!!!"

You try to get "fallen women" to reform. (Wojo)

when you get an intense craving for some REALLY BAD coffee with some pickled eel sushi!

You avoid meeting girls named "Bernice."

when you get an intense craving for some REALLY BAD coffee with some pickled eel sushi!
puke:

You avoid meeting girls named "Bernice."
:lol:

puke:

I hear you but I bet that kind of "coffee break" would make Yemena salivate!

Every 5 foot 1 guy you see you swear is bucking to make detective.

You automatically word-associate "Sunsweet" with "Fish"

Every 5 foot 1 guy you see you swear is bucking to make detective.

You automatically word-associate "Sunsweet" with "Fish"
Not to mention Polygrip, Depends, Preparation H, etc. :eek: :lol:

and fiber! :lol:

and fiber! :lol:
:nod: :lol:

You think the upcoming movie "Wolfman" is about Mr. Kopeckne. :lol:

Your immediate supervisor rags on you for being too nice. (Barney and Inspector Luger)

You should try thinking first and talking later. (Wentworth)

For Christmas you ask for the latest detective novel, "Blood on the Badge", aka BOB.:o

For Christmas you ask for the latest detective novel, "Blood on the Badge", aka BOB.:o
...personally autographed by R.N. Harris himself!! :lol:

You immediately bristle when Det. Maria Battista starts ranting in rapid fire Spanish - because no one but Chano should be allowed to do that!! :mad: :crazy: :lol: