Hey, all, don't know if there's a thread to this effect already buried somewhere in the morass of this board, but I saw something along these lines on the Family Ties board and figured, when in doubt, PIGGYBACK!

So, basically, think up the funniest, weirdest, most interesting lines that never would have been spoken in a FoL episode...go crazy!

Me first...
___________________________________________________________
Minister: Do you, Joanne Polniaczek, take Blair Warner to be your lawful wedded wife?

Jo: I do.

Minister: And do you, Blair Warner, take Joanne Polniaczek to be your lawful wedded wife?

Blair: I do

Minister: Then by the power invested in me by God and the State of New York, I now pronounce you...uh...you know. You may kiss the...bride?

(Jo and Blair share passionate smoochies while the studio audience goes wild)
_________________________________________________________

Admit it, as much as some people might want to hear and see this...never woulda happen.

So, what else wouldn't anyone on FoL have said?

Lela

:lol:

Natalie: "Geez Blair, you're getting to be a real cow, did you know that?"

Mrs Garrett: "You girls realise that I can't STAND any of you, but, a job's a job!"

Tootie: "SOMEONE GET THESE DARN SKATES OFF ME!!!!"

Molly: "I'm going to run off to Hollywood and make movies!"

Jo: "Motorcycles? Can't stand them, but, I DO collect Barbie Dolls!"

:lol:

Natalie: "Geez Blair, you're getting to be a real cow, did you know that?"

Mrs Garrett: "You girls realise that I can't STAND any of you, but, a job's a job!"

Tootie: "SOMEONE GET THESE DARN SKATES OFF ME!!!!"

Molly: "I'm going to run off to Hollywood and make movies!"

Jo: "Motorcycles? Can't stand them, but, I DO collect Barbie Dolls!"

:rotflmao:

Blair: All right...I'll admit it...I'm...NOT A REAL BLONDE!
(followed by stunned silence, not so much because of WHAT she admitted, but because she admitted it.)

^^:eek:^^

Blair: "I always feel so humble and plain around all you beautiful, intelligent and superior girls.......especially you, Jo!"

Tootie: "I hate you, mrs Garrett, you're NOTHING like a Mom, to me!"

Natalie: "You've done it again Mrs Garrett; this dinner tastes like CRAP!"

The Headmaster to Mrs Garrett: "Listen Edna, you look pretty hot in that tube top and mini skirt, what do you say we go back to my place and heat things up together?"

Jo: "Hey Blair, I borrowed your lace bra and high heels last night, is that ok?"
Blair: "Of course dear, borrow anything you like; only next time, you have to model them for me first!" ;)

Blair: I hate being rich I wish I were poor
Jo: Let's go shopping at Tiffany's
Natalie: I want to be a skinny pencial not a happy magic marker
Tootie: I hate people who gossip they get on my nerves
Mrs. Garrett: That's it I quit helping you out with your problems from now on you girls figure them out yourselfs
Andy: How about you girls all come back to my place so I can have my way with you
Pippa: Howdy ya'll
Bev: I don't like people who tell long and drawn out stories why can't they just get to the point without having to drag it out so long
George: I can't stand any of you I just come here to get away from my father's gastly hardware store.

Jo: Let's, like, go to the mall!!!

Blair: I have the most horrible ideas!!

Natalie: Screw writing. I wanna be a hooker!!

Tootie: Theater is sooo overrated!

Mrs. Garrett: My voice is so annoying!!

^^:D ^^

Jo: If I am crowned Miss America...

Blair: Who needs make-up?

Tootie: Who's Jermaine Jackson?

Tootie: "Forget Jermaine...it's all abt Janet from now on." ;)

Blair: "Hey Nat, can I borrow a pair of your jeans?"

Mrs. Garrett: Girls! George and I have some news. We're getting married!

Blair: I'd love to go shopping with you, Mother, but first I've got to deliver all of these care packages to orphans, and then I'm signing over my trust fund to African refugee camps!

Jo: Wearing a dress never hurt anyone.

or

Jo: (At the piano onstage for her big nightclub act) Thank you, thank you. For my next number, here's an old friend of mine to sing something you might remember from a few years back. Blair Warner, ladies and gentlemen!
Blair: Thanks Jo. 'Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me...'

I love the last one :lol:

Blair: (Naked and drunk..standing on the roof of Eastland school; screaming)
" I AM THE LIZARD KING!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jo: (At the piano onstage for her big nightclub act) Thank you, thank you. For my next number, here's an old friend of mine to sing something you might remember from a few years back. Blair Warner, ladies and gentlemen!
Blair: Thanks Jo. 'Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me...'

sheer brilliance!!! :lol: rotflmao!

Blair: (Naked and drunk..standing on the roof of Eastland school; screaming)
" I AM THE LIZARD KING!!!!!!!!!!!!"

:eek2: Actually, somehow, I can picture that happening...hmm...my mind is warped in so many ways...
Oh, and, thanks to all who liked my Jo/Blair nightclub act...I smell a fan fic!

Tootie: I've learned to love and accept my braces.

Beverly Ann: Well, I don't think I really have anything to add to the conversation...

George:Of course I know why Blair's sweater was all stretched out. I needed something to wear on my date with Roy last night.

Jo: (Bleary eyed, awakened by infantile wailing) Blair...Blair, the baby's crying. Blair!
Blair: Why can't you get up with Little Jo?
Jo: Because she's hungry and I can't nurse her.
Blair: But Jo-oo-ooooooo...
Jo: Hey, you insisted on breastfeeding our kids.

Mrs. Garrett: My voice is so annoying!!

:lol:

Beverly Ann: I'm no longer a virgin.

Blair: All right...I'll admit it...I'm...NOT A REAL BLONDE!
She did say that on the reunion episode! ("The Little Chill")
And all the other girls in the room did a sarcastic "No-o-o-o-o-o."

Blair: There's a 25% off sale at Bloomingdales, but I just don't feel like going out today. :lol:

*Jo bends down on one knee.*
Jo: Roy, I admit it. I have been in love with you since day one, and I can't live without you. Will you marry me?

*Jo bends down on one knee.*
Jo: Roy, I admit it. I have been in love with you since day one, and I can't live without you. Will you marry me?


That would have been good. :lol:

Beverly Ann: "I wish I'd never divorced Frank, he treated me like a queen..."

Mrs. Garrett: You girls are impossible! You steal school vans and fake IDs and get into paint-fights and treat me like your own personal seamstress and nursemaid and you think I'm your slave! You're terrible, awful, selfish girls and I'm sorry I ever met you! I'm leaving my life as a housemother and dietician behind and becoming a hooker! After that, I'm becoming a drug dealer and then an ax-murderer!

Mrs. Garrett: You girls are impossible! You steal school vans and fake IDs and get into paint-fights and treat me like your own personal seamstress and nursemaid and you think I'm your slave! You're terrible, awful, selfish girls and I'm sorry I ever met you! I'm leaving my life as a housemother and dietician behind and becoming a hooker! After that, I'm becoming a drug dealer and then an ax-murderer!

:eek2: :faint:

Jo: "I wanna be just like you, Blair!"

Blair: I just looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. :lol:

Blair: Mrs. Garrett, girls, I'm leaving Eastland. As a matter of fact, I'm leaving the country. You see, I've finally realized what a terrible, annoying, selfish, egotistical person I've always been. I must join an order of nuns in Africa and give up my wealth and love of dating and tend to the sick and poor overseas for the rest of my life to atone for my sins.

Tootie: I actually hate acting, everyone.

Blair: This year I'm buying my fall wardrobe at Venture. :lol:

Blair: I love that polyester dress!

Mrs. Garrett: You girls are impossible! You steal school vans and fake IDs and get into paint-fights and treat me like your own personal seamstress and nursemaid and you think I'm your slave! You're terrible, awful, selfish girls and I'm sorry I ever met you! I'm leaving my life as a housemother and dietician behind and becoming a hooker! After that, I'm becoming a drug dealer and then an ax-murderer!
:rofl:

:lol:

Blair, Jo, Nat, and Tootie: WE LOVE WASHING DISHES!!!

Blair: This year I'm buying my fall wardrobe at Venture. :lol:
Lmao, good old Venture :lol: :lol: .

Crazy for Blair, Nat's #1 Fan, and Pfeifferobsessed, thanks for the comments. I'm glad I made you guys laugh. I aim to please. :) But even if I do say so myself, I kind of outdid myself with the Mrs. G. quote! (I'd been drinking.) :lol:

Crazy for Blair, Nat's #1 Fan, and Pfeifferobsessed, thanks for the comments. I'm glad I made you guys laugh. I aim to please. :) But even if I do say so myself, I kind of outdid myself with the Mrs. G. quote! (I'd been drinking.) :lol:

You're welcome. :) Oh, you don't have to call me Crazy for Blair. You can just call me Mike. :)

You're welcome. :) Oh, you don't have to call me Crazy for Blair. You can just call me Mike. :)
Alrighty, then! :) Glad you enjoyed the post, Mike.

Blair: Tootie, I overheard Nancy say she was breaking up with Roger. Did you hear her say anything about it?
Tootie: Of course not, Blair. You know I never listen in on other people's conversations. I hate to gossip!

Crazy for Blair, Nat's #1 Fan, and Pfeifferobsessed, thanks for the comments. I'm glad I made you guys laugh. I aim to please. :) But even if I do say so myself, I kind of outdid myself with the Mrs. G. quote! (I'd been drinking.) :lol:
:lol: your welcome! ;)

She actually did say that in season 1, the episode where she plagerizes Emily Duckenson.

Jo: Blair, can you help me with my make-up?

Blair: Jo, can you show me how to change the oil in my car?

Natalie: I hate writing

Tootie: I promise I won't tell a soul


D

Jo: I'm tired of motorcycles...

She actually did say that in season 1, the episode where she plagerizes Emily Dickenson.
Who actually said what?

Who actually said what?

LOL I forgot to put the quote.

Blair: I just looked in the mirror and didn't like what I saw. :lol:

D

Blair: "Mrs Garrett, whatever happened to Kimberly Drummond?"

Andy: "You know, George, I can't decide which is the best film of the 80's, Return to Horror High, or Return of the Killer Tomatoes?"
George: "It's obviously The Garbage Pail Kids."
Jo: "I have to go with Return to Horror High, that Philip McKeon is a great actor, and Alex Rocco sure looked familiar."

Blair: "Mrs Garrett, whatever happened to Kimberly Drummond?"

Hahahahahahahahahaha! :lol:

Blair: This year I'm buying my fall wardrobe at Venture. :lol:Oh, I remember that place! I actually was just around a store the other day that used to be Venture's. :lol:

Lmao, good old Venture :lol: :lol: .

what's venture?

Mrs G: "Boys, Boys, Boys!!!"

Jo: "Does this color scheme match my dress and purse?"

Tootie: "That Tito Jackson just makes my motor run!"

Natalie: "I think Tootie would be an excellent Nellie Forebush!"

Blair: "Dad said he was getting me a new Harley for my Birthday That makes 5 so far."

Mrs G: "Boys, Boys, Boys!!!"

Jo: "Does this color scheme match my dress and purse?"

Tootie: "That Tito Jackson just makes my motor run!"

Natalie: "I think Tootie would be an excellent Nellie Forebush!"

Blair: "Dad said he was getting me a new Harley for my Birthday That makes 5 so far."
nice, jude, very nice! :lol:

Natalie: I hate The Three Stooges!

BLAIR: Well, I'm just back from my weekly trek through Hot Topic...

BLAIR: Well, I'm just back from my weekly trek through Hot Topic...
LMAO! thats brilliant!!!

BLAIR: Well, I'm just back from my weekly trek through Hot Topic...
OMG, I love that! :lol: :lol:

Tootie: Show business are for WIMPS.

Blair: I want to move to the Projects and live there.

Molly: Women should stay home and raise children and be subservant to their husbands.

Cindy: I can't stand sports.

Sue Ann: People who experiment with their relationship before getting married to see if they are compatable.

Nancy O.: I have too many lines here.

Blair: I want to become a nun.

Jo: I love fashion.

Tootie: Gambling is so wrong.

:lol:

Sue Ann: divorce is no big deal! I think more families should split up!

Sue Ann: divorce is no big deal! I think more families should split up!

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

Blair: "Does this camouflage t shirt make me look fat?"