Cactus Jack
12-22-2007, 09:11 PM
Yes to some, no to others. But, of course he isnt real, think about it. What do you think would happen if some big guy with a red suit and huge curly came climbing down your chimney? He'd get stuck, and then he'd fall flat on his ass in the possibly burning, or still hot logs, yes his ass and beard would light afire, but think about this. what about that big bag of presents?
Kid: What are those presents doing randomly falling our fireplace?
See what I mean? What about the reindeer? If he let them in, prior to opening up presents youd have to clean reindeer sh*t. What about the milk and cookies?
Santa: Aw,milk and cookies AGAIN?:mad: Rudolph, shine your light, and help me find some ribs and a Budweiser.
Not EVERY Santa wants milk and cookies, so parents, if you want to give "Santa" something other than milk and cookies here are some suggestions
Ribs and budweiser
Burger and fries with a coke
Fruitcake and ipecac ( ;) )
What if you didnt have a chimney? What would you do if some big guy with a beard and red suit rang your doorbell and said HO HO HO in a deep laugh.
This is what would happen
Kid : SANTA!!!!!
Dad : NO, TIMMY THATS NOT SANTA CALUS, ITS SOME FREAK THAT THINKS HE'S SANTA CLAUS
Kid :NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ITS SANTA LOOK
Mom : He's still a young boy who believes in Santa
Dad : Im getting my gun
Kid : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dad : Here SANTA, if that is your real name. You psycho SOB!
Santa : Watch it, ok, let me tell ya somethin *whispers to the dad* My real name is Bob Thompson, they make me do this every year.
Dad : SEE, HIS NAME IS BOB!
Kid: Santa Bob?
Santa : HO HO HO...shut up.
Ok so that's one thing, probably not that extreme, but yeah. Imagine the ending of Christmas Vacation with him kidnapping the boss, but Santa intsead. HOLD ON A MINUTE, THATS AN IDEA! *writes down*
But what if it was a serial killer, and the dad punched him ,but instead of presents it was bodies. You get the picture, no need for me to elaborate there.
But anyone can be Santa, what if this happened?
Kids: SANTA!
Parents : OJ?
LOL, ok that wouldnt happen but yeah, bottom line is, Santa isnt real, all the mall Santas are just random guys they pick to be Santa, who knows it could be a lady. I wonder what Bob form Enzyte Santa comemrcial would be like if it had more talking
Kid: So THATS where you hide my presents?
Bob : *smiles*
So yeah, you couldve been a mall Santa, I could be a Santa, anyone can be Santa, its like two Halloweens for those lucky people.
Now you tell me, does Santa exist, or is he just some creep Chris hansen is hunting down, or your kid's friend's parent or...
YOU?
Anyone ever aactually been a mall Santa? LOL
Kid: What are those presents doing randomly falling our fireplace?
See what I mean? What about the reindeer? If he let them in, prior to opening up presents youd have to clean reindeer sh*t. What about the milk and cookies?
Santa: Aw,milk and cookies AGAIN?:mad: Rudolph, shine your light, and help me find some ribs and a Budweiser.
Not EVERY Santa wants milk and cookies, so parents, if you want to give "Santa" something other than milk and cookies here are some suggestions
Ribs and budweiser
Burger and fries with a coke
Fruitcake and ipecac ( ;) )
What if you didnt have a chimney? What would you do if some big guy with a beard and red suit rang your doorbell and said HO HO HO in a deep laugh.
This is what would happen
Kid : SANTA!!!!!
Dad : NO, TIMMY THATS NOT SANTA CALUS, ITS SOME FREAK THAT THINKS HE'S SANTA CLAUS
Kid :NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ITS SANTA LOOK
Mom : He's still a young boy who believes in Santa
Dad : Im getting my gun
Kid : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dad : Here SANTA, if that is your real name. You psycho SOB!
Santa : Watch it, ok, let me tell ya somethin *whispers to the dad* My real name is Bob Thompson, they make me do this every year.
Dad : SEE, HIS NAME IS BOB!
Kid: Santa Bob?
Santa : HO HO HO...shut up.
Ok so that's one thing, probably not that extreme, but yeah. Imagine the ending of Christmas Vacation with him kidnapping the boss, but Santa intsead. HOLD ON A MINUTE, THATS AN IDEA! *writes down*
But what if it was a serial killer, and the dad punched him ,but instead of presents it was bodies. You get the picture, no need for me to elaborate there.
But anyone can be Santa, what if this happened?
Kids: SANTA!
Parents : OJ?
LOL, ok that wouldnt happen but yeah, bottom line is, Santa isnt real, all the mall Santas are just random guys they pick to be Santa, who knows it could be a lady. I wonder what Bob form Enzyte Santa comemrcial would be like if it had more talking
Kid: So THATS where you hide my presents?
Bob : *smiles*
So yeah, you couldve been a mall Santa, I could be a Santa, anyone can be Santa, its like two Halloweens for those lucky people.
Now you tell me, does Santa exist, or is he just some creep Chris hansen is hunting down, or your kid's friend's parent or...
YOU?
Anyone ever aactually been a mall Santa? LOL