ALWAYS make sure both parties are single before playing matchmaker.

ALWAYS make sure that a cane is not really a gun.

ALWAYS watch where you're going if you happen to be in the same room as a bearskin rug.

Tiny bathrooms were not designed for a private conversation for three.

Little chairs were not designed to hold grown men.

The youngest member of the household is usually the wisest.

Late night conversations over milk and cookies will always cheer a person up. :D

Always make sure the door doesn't close behind you (or you might get locked in a room with the brash German housekeeper). :lol:

Don't let Kraus near the control board for the school play. :lol:

WATCH out if Taylor/Clayton starts being nice to you. It's never a good sign.

Bring a pillow if Gov. Gatling starts telling a long, boring, pointless story.

Don't let Gov. Gatling try to write his own speeches.

Pete REALLY doesn't like his ex-wife. :lol:

Don't eat anything Katie made all by herself.

Why knock yourself out doing a school project when Kraus and Marcy can do it for you?

NEVER trust beautiful women with red hair and blue eyes who wear lots of lip gloss.

WATCH out if Taylor/Clayton starts being nice to you. It's never a good sign.

This is the ultimate lesson learned by Benson. :lol:

If you're pregnant, make sure you never go near an elevator or a run-down shack in the middle of a blizzard. That is where you are sure to go into labor. :eek:

NEVER dress up as the Sugar Plum Fairy with real sugar cubes - unless you want to be eaten by horses. :eek:

Always watch out for the dogs.
The governor is really a smart guy but he's just scatterbrained.
You can't have lactose-intolerance and be on the show.
If you eat anything that Katie made herself you will ether start gagging on the spot or come down with acid-reflux afterwards.:eek:

If you can't sleep, come down to the kitchen. Chances are you'll find someone sitting at the table drinking milk.

Never lend your car to Pete.

If you are stupid enough to eat something Katie made by herself, make sure you have plenty of Pepto Bismol handy!! puke:

It doesn't matter if you whisper, use sign language, or write your words down - Kraus will ALWAYS hear you!! :eek: :lol:

Never take Pete out to lunch, and never watch while he's eating. It ain't pretty!

++++

If you want to have a private conversation, don't have it while Marcy's nearby!

If you can't find your calculator, no problem...Denise can add up those figures just as quickly!

NEVER go on a vacation with Taylor - unless you want to be subjected to non-stop whining, complaining, laziness and annoying sinus noises!! :eek:

The nicest restaurant in town is "Smitty's"

When vacationing at a lodge, always bring LOTS of extra food in case you get snowed in.

Watch out for swinging sun props. :rofl:

Be careful when you go out to get the paper in the morning.:eek:

If you can't finish your sandwich or you have some extra food you don't know what to do with, just track down Pete. He'll finish it off for you. :lol:

Bring a muzzle and/or earplugs anytime you are stuck on an overnight event with Taylor/Clayton. :lol:

Make sure you consult with Kraus before touching the thermostat. :lol:

Always watch you are going lest you and all your friends trip over a bearskin rug.

Grown men look very silly in child-size chairs.

Adorable little blond girls enjoy KISS.

Kraus' dogs are almost as scary as she is.

Elevators are not places where you want to give birth.

Never go to press if you think you've seen a UFO. :p

:ufo:

For a very good reason, Clayton was very sensitive about his nose. pinoc:

A long winded story doesn't have to be true, as long as it makes a point.

If you don't want the trash cans turned over and mashed, don't set them anywhere near Pete's parking spot. :eat:

Denise had really nice teeth. :D :rolleyes:

Mrs. Kraus was capable of being nice, when she wanted to be.

Katie didn't really hate Clayton, she just liked him less than other people.

And going out to catch a movie barefooted can be awkward, if not down right painful. :(

^ :brent

Never stay in a hotel that an old Navy buddy sends you to as a joke and then dress up in drag to get out.

Never stay in a hotel that an old Navy buddy sends you to as a joke and then dress up in drag to get out.
:rofl:

Fireside Chats are not a good idea. :rofl:

Never get into a fight with your boyfriend while holding cue cards, but it may end up in an engagement. :love:

Never spell "judgment" with two "e"s. :rofl:

Always have a goofy smile ready for the cameras!! (Clayton)

Cassandra Turner is very scary. :eek: :rofl:

Fireside Chats are not a good idea. :rofl:

Never get into a fight with your boyfriend while holding cue cards, but it may end up in an engagement. :love:

Never spell "judgment" with two "e"s. :rofl:

Always have a goofy smile ready for the cameras!! (Clayton)

Cassandra Turner is very scary. :eek: :rofl:

Governor: "There's not 2 "E's" in judgment!"
Clayton: "Sir if it's misspelled on the card, only you will see it.
Governor: "But I'm the one who has to read it."
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Cassandra Turner is very scary. :eek: :rofl:

Yeah, was she a psycho or what? :crazy:

By the way, did you know this is the same actress who played Francine in "Benson In Love" from S1? There's a stretch, huh? From being in love with her in S1 to hating her guts in S2. :lol:

Yeah, was she a psycho or what? :crazy:

By the way, did you know this is the same actress who played Francine in "Benson In Love" from S1? There's a stretch, huh? From being in love with her in S1 to hating her guts in S2. :lol:
Boy, love does funny things to people. :crazy: :rofl:

Governor: "There's not 2 "E's" in judgment!"
Clayton: "Sir if it's misspelled on the card, only you will see it.
Governor: "But I'm the one who has to read it."
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Logic - even Gene Gatling gets it sometimes. :lol:

Aunt Libby will always shoot Clayton down. :lol:

Never let Pete stay with you after his ex-wife kicks him out.

If you and your lady friend want privacy, forget your apartments and go to a hotel - hopefully no one from the staff will barge in!!

Smitty's is THE place to go if you want to get lucky - most of the time. (Pete)

Marcy's hairstyle looked better in the first season.

A fellow (Clayton) can shave off his mustache one week and it's completely grown back the next. I can't grow a halfway decent one even if I don't shave for a full year. :(

Only on television. :rolleyes:

^ :rofl:

Be careful when traveling on cruises, as a murderer may be lurking. (season 4)

Benson and Governor Gatling will always be close no matter who wins the election. (series finale)

Miss Kraus has hidden athletic skills (wailing the assassin with cane, lifting the chair with one hand, etc.). :rofl:

Aunt Libby will always shoot Clayton down. :lol:

If memory serves, EVERYONE always shoots Clayton down. :lol:

If memory serves, EVERYONE always shoots Clayton down. :lol:
That's true, but I've only seen the first half of Season 2. :lol:

That's true, but I've only seen the first half of Season 2. :lol:

Oh just wait, you'll learn. :rofl:

I look forward to it, Lisa. :lol:

Opposites do attract, I'm talking about Denise and Pete. :D :eat:

If you (Marcie) see a fresh little mound of dirt on the lawn while you're looking for buried gold, never dig there, it may contain a dead squirrel in a shoebox. :eek3:

Opposites do attract, I'm talking about Denise and Pete. :D :eat:
Like I said before, love does funny things to people. :love:

Uncle Murray's cabin is a dump. :eek: :lol:

Always carry a rubberband with you.
Because: No matter how prepaired the man - you can always use a rubberband! :crazy:

Sometimes the system really does work!! (Taylor running for representative and no one voted for him. :lol:)

Never lend your car to Pete.
What happened in that episode? :lol: