WARD: What type of girl would you have Wally marry?
JUNE: Oh, some very sensible girl from a nice family ... one with both feet on
the ground, who's a good cook and can keep a nice house and see that he's
happy.
WARD: Dear, I got the last one of those.

BEAVER: Hey, Wally--how come Eddie's such a creep?
WALLY: 'Cause he works at it.

WALLY: Boy, I don't know about takin' advice from Eddie.
BEAVER: I wouldn't take advice from him on good stuff, but when you want
to know how to be a real rat, you couldn't go to a better guy.

:lol:

Wally: Gee Dad, you've been lecturing the Beav for (?) years, and he's still pretty stupid. :lol:

This one is from the last season(1962-1963)"The All-Night Party",a Universal City Studios New House episode:As Eddie and Lumpy walk in the door,an older Beaver calls upstairs to Wally:"Hey,Wally! The Goon Brothers are here!."LOL.A classsic line.

Two quotes from the ep "Lumpy Rutherford" (the one with the barrel hoops):

FRED (commenting on his trip to South America): You know, you just can't compare Chimborazo with Aconcagua.
WARD (disinterested but trying to be sociable): Oh, I wouldn't dream of doing that!

Later:

After Fred tells about being "attacked" in his driveway:
MRS. RUTHERFORD: Fred thinks it was the same gang that stole our hubcaps in Acapulco.

From the ep where Beaver buys June that garish blouse for her birthday:

BEAVER: What would you want for your birthday, Mrs. Mondello?
MRS. MONDELLO: All I want is for Larry to be a good boy!

The rest of it's good, too. Larry replies: "Oh heck, Mom, that's no help-- that's just corny!"

"Gee, mom, the way they fix ladies' hair nowadays, you can't tell tell if they've had their hair done or if they've just been standing out in the wind." -- WALLACE CLEAVER

"June, you can pick up clothes-pins anytime!" -- WARD CLEAVER (while talking on phone to June Bronson-Cleaver, who just informed Ward that Theordore "Beaver" Cleaver was playing hooky and had just been spied on television with his friend Lawrence Mondello, which, of course, prompted Wallace Cleaver to remark the following hunk of additional hilarity to June Bronson-Cleaver: "Boy, what a goof! First he plays hooky, then he goes on television!")

JUNE -- "Ward, do you have room in your suitcase for my shoes?"

WARD -- "Yeah, I guess so. What's the matter with your suitcase?"

JUNE -- "Well, I don't want to jam them in with my dresses."

WARD -- "Oh, of course not. Maybe you could wrap them in one of my clean shirts."

JUNE -- "Ward, do you have room in your suitcase for my shoes?"

WARD -- "I guess so. But why can't you use your own suitcase?"

JUNE -- "Well, I don't want to get my clothes dirty."

WARD -- "I see. Why don't you wrap them in one of my clean shirts?"

:lol:

Wally: Boy, Beaver, wait until the guys see you hanging around with a girl. They'll really give you the business.

Beaver: But gee Wally, you hang around with girls all the time and the guys don't give you the business.

Wally: Well that's because I'm in high school. You can do so many things without getting the business.

AND FROM THE SAME EPISODE:

Beaver: Linda Dennison, you're a smelly old ape.

Addendum to the "Why Don't You Wrap Them In One Of My Clean Shirts?" quote......

Here's the exact verbatim exchange (my previous version was written based on memory only, but it was pretty close too):

JUNE -- "Ward, do you have room in your suitcase for my shoes?"

WARD -- "Yeah, I guess so. What's the matter with your suitcase?"

JUNE -- "Well, I don't want to jam them in with my dresses."

WARD -- "Oh, of course not. Maybe you could wrap them in one of my clean shirts."

JUNE -- "Ward, maybe you're trying too hard."

WARD -- "How can you try too hard to be a good parent?"

JUNE -- "I don't know, but it looks like you've mastered it."

Beaver: Wally, what do you do if her father answers?
Wally: Oh, when that happens, I usually just hang up.

From the ep where the boys go see the scary Voodoo movie instead of Pinocchio:

Eddie: I don't listen to my parents.

Wally: That's why you're such a miserable creep!