He is 16, 6-1, and 300 pounds....but that's beside the point. I am starting to wonder about him. He doesn't do male-orientated activities. I have never known him to toss a football around. He is very inactive physically, and he likes girls things. When he was younger, he played with dolls, and nowadays he hangs with girls. I don't think he's ever had a male friend. All he does is watch female videos. He loves, Beyonce, Spice Girls, Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston, etc. Not only that, he mocks the singers step by step. I am really beginning to think he's gay. He may not be, but he is not what you would call masculine. As big as he is, he should be outside getting active, and he doesn't do any of that.

Well, dancing is a physical activity, it may not fit what YOU want him to be like, but, if that's his thing, then maybe you can encourage him ( possibly buy him a "Dance Dance revolution" game , if he doesnt have one) ; at least it will keep him healthier than if he just sits around.

Oh geez hes young, and so what if he turns out to be gay! why dont you spend time with him.

My daughter was the same way growing up. She wanted nothing to do with girls stuff, Barbies, etc. She loved rugged sports and once was on a football team with only boys. She could outsmart and outbeat any boy her age. She is of course gay. I can't say that people like your nephew who should enjoy more male-oriented things, is gay, I am merely pointing out my experience.

But like Mikado said, dancing is exercise and since he likes it, there shouldn't be a problem with that. He may be accepted more by females than males. Maybe the males think that HE IS GAY and that is why they avoid him. That could be why he has no friends of the male persuasion. Didn't you ever know someone who you thought for sure was gay and turned out they weren't? He may be giving off that vibe and that is why he hangs out with girls. They may be more accepting of his "style" or behavior than the guys. He might feel insecure because of his weight. Who knows.

Great points, Irene! :thumbsup: ( bows in awe! )

My daughter was the same way growing up. She wanted nothing to do with girls stuff, Barbies, etc. She loved rugged sports and once was on a football team with only boys. She could outsmart and outbeat any boy her age. She is of course gay. I can't say that people like your nephew who should enjoy more male-oriented things, is gay, I am merely pointing out my experience.

But like Mikado said, dancing is exercise and since he likes it, there shouldn't be a problem with that. He may be accepted more by females than males. Maybe the males think that HE IS GAY and that is why they avoid him. That could be why he has no friends of the male persuasion. Didn't you ever know someone who you thought for sure was gay and turned out they weren't? He may be giving off that vibe and that is why he hangs out with girls. They may be more accepting of his "style" or behavior than the guys. He might feel insecure because of his weight. Who knows.

You got a point, but you know what, I kind of blame that on his father. He should have taught him to be a man. Not only that, he desparately needs a haircut, and the dad can't even cut his hair or encourage him to go to a barbershop.

Thank you Mikado.

Kool, if you really want to know these things, you may have to inquire. Maybe he is having issues and could use someone to talk to.

You got a point, but you know what, I kind of blame that on his father. He should have taught him to be a man. Not only that, he desparately needs a haircut, and the dad can't even cut his hair or encourage him to go to a barbershop.
Maybe you need to step up to the plate and be the man/father that he didn't have. It could be an opportunity for you to let him know you are there for him, you want to help in any way but most of all, YOU ARE ACCEPTING OF HIM NO MATTER WHAT. The cruelest thing to a child is to make them feel as if they are doing something wrong when they do things that are not "normal". Like I said, use this opportunity to step up to the plate and let him know you are there for him.

Well said irene, i agree with mikey great points! :)

Thank you sweetie. I try to be helpful and I know my friend Mike is serious when he talks abt his family.

Maybe you need to step up to the plate and be the man/father that he didn't have. It could be an opportunity for you to let him know you are there for him, you want to help in any way but most of all, YOU ARE ACCEPTING OF HIM NO MATTER WHAT. The cruelest thing to a child is to make them feel as if they are doing something wrong when they do things that are not "normal". Like I said, use this opportunity to step up to the plate and let him know you are there for him.


That's some good advice, but me and him never been that close. So whatever I say to him wouldn't register with him anyway. He's got two older brothers who isn't close with him either. Again, he wouldn't listen to them either, it would probably turn into a fight

Well you seem to care enough garfield, just be there as a friend then.

Thank you sweetie. I try to be helpful and I know my friend Mike is serious when he talks abt his family.

Thanks, Irene, you are so caring.

That's some good advice, but me and him never been that close. So whatever I say to him wouldn't register with him anyway. He's got two older brothers who isn't close with him either. Again, he wouldn't listen to them either, it would probably turn into a fight
Poor guy. Sounds like the males who should be an influence for him or be there for him, weren't. I know what you mean though, I have a half-brother who I no longer talk to because he is thick-headed and got bad direction from his mother who spoiled him rotten and didn't allow my dad to discipline him. Because of that he is now 30 something and still in a sense behaves like a teenager. Bad direction can lead one to nowhere sometimes. All my sisterly love and trying to engrave things into his head seemed to lead to a fight...and it did. I cut him out of my life and it hurts.

I can't tell you what to do, I can only give you opinions and advice. You know him better than any of us and it all just seems the poor guy didn't get the kind of attention he should have received.

Poor guy. Sounds like the males who should be an influence for him or be there for him, weren't. I know what you mean though, I have a half-brother who I no longer talk to because he is thick-headed and got bad direction from his mother who spoiled him rotten and didn't allow my dad to discipline him. Because of that he is now 30 something and still in a sense behaves like a teenager. Bad direction can lead one to nowhere sometimes. All my sisterly love and trying to engrave things into his head seemed to lead to a fight...and it did. I cut him out of my life and it hurts.

I can't tell you what to do, I can only give you opinions and advice. You know him better than any of us and it all just seems the poor guy didn't get the kind of attention he should have received.


Let me add that he has a disability. He has sense, he knows wright from wrong, so I can't just blame that on a disability. I guess he just likes girl things. That's sound like my sister with my nephew, she's to blame to, she treats him like a king, and gives him baby nicknames to this day like the nickname, "Mellow" She calls him that in a baby way, Everything he does is "cute" So she's to blame as well.

Sorry about what happened with you half-bro. That is messed up.

Let me add that he has a disability. He has sense, he knows wright from wrong, so I can't just blame that on a disability. I guess he just likes girl things. That's sound like my sister with my nephew, she's to blame to, she treats him like a king, and gives him baby nicknames to this day like the nickname, "Mellow" She calls him that in a baby way, Everything he does is "cute" So she's to blame as well.

Sorry about what happened with you half-bro. That is messed up.
Thanks Mike. I appreciate that.

I just feel bad for your nephew. I am sure you have it tough having to have seen all this going on and knowing it wasn't in his best interest. You are scaring me now Mike. I have a five year old son and I love to coddle him, baby him and so forth. I have always been like that to my kids, but he is my only son. I wonder if all that "mama's boy" stuff will backfire on me? :eek: Thank God he starts soccer practice tomorrow. ;) :lol:

Thanks Mike. I appreciate that.

I just feel bad for your nephew. I am sure you have it tough having to have seen all this going on and knowing it wasn't in his best interest. You are scaring me now Mike. I have a five year old son and I love to coddle him, baby him and so forth. I have always been like that to my kids, but he is my only son. I wonder if all that "mama's boy" stuff will backfire on me? :eek: Thank God he starts soccer practice tomorrow. ;) :lol:

It will backfire on you if you let it. In my sister's case, her kids have always got their own way. Just make sure your son has a good male role model to look up to, and he will be alright. It's natural for you to cuddle your son, that's your baby. But the soccer thing sound like a good step.

It will backfire on you if you let it. In my sister's case, her kids have always got their own way. Just make sure your son has a good male role model to look up to, and he will be alright. It's natural for you to cuddle your son, that's your baby. But the soccer thing sound like a good step.
Thanx Mike. Yep, he has his dad in his life and of course, my son getting his way is something my son knows he can't do. It's just I love to baby him at times because I know he is my last child and I want to cherish the moments.

Maybe his disability also affects how he interacts with people. Maybe that led him to be more shy and withdrawn, probably not the type to go out and do social things (like sports with other guys). Or maybe that's just not his thing. I myself am more in to low-key activities (movies, going out to restaurants, walking the track) rather than socializing with lots of people. Just a personal preference, I guess.

This may be the case with your nephew. Like someone else mentioned, he may just be more comfortable with girls. Maybe girls are more accepting of who he is? There was a point in my life where I mostly hung out with guys...not because I was a lesbian, but because I just liked hanging with them.

I feel sorry for this lad he seems perfectly normal! the stuff he is doing is not against any laws and he is young, not every boy plays with gi joe and throws a god damn football around!! why jugde that someone might be gay because of what they enjoy? What makes me angry garfield is that it seems your to busy judging what hes getting up to then actually getting to know HIM.

I played with girls just as much as I did with boys when I was younger. I'm not gay. I really think you're being too hard on him -- if he wants to hang around with girls, what's the problem with that? It sounds like you're making fun of his weight too, that he's not "normal".

I played with girls just as much as I did with boys when I was younger. I'm not gay. I really think you're being too hard on him -- if he wants to hang around with girls, what's the problem with that? It sounds like you're making fun of his weight too, that he's not "normal".

No, I was not making fun of his weight. I was just implying that he is too young and big to be as inactive as he is.

My daughter was the same way growing up. She wanted nothing to do with girls stuff, Barbies, etc. She loved rugged sports and once was on a football team with only boys. She could outsmart and outbeat any boy her age. She is of course gay. I can't say that people like your nephew who should enjoy more male-oriented things, is gay, I am merely pointing out my experience.

But like Mikado said, dancing is exercise and since he likes it, there shouldn't be a problem with that. He may be accepted more by females than males. Maybe the males think that HE IS GAY and that is why they avoid him. That could be why he has no friends of the male persuasion. Didn't you ever know someone who you thought for sure was gay and turned out they weren't? He may be giving off that vibe and that is why he hangs out with girls. They may be more accepting of his "style" or behavior than the guys. He might feel insecure because of his weight. Who knows.

Great post! Back in elementary school, there was this one guy who was just one of the girls(i.e:put on the same cherry flavored Bonne Bell lipgloss, did our hair, and played with our Barbies.) None of the guys wanted to play with him because they thought he was gay, years later, he turns out to be 100% straight after all, the ultimate ladies man.

It's funny because I was the one who was always up for barbies and dress-up and I ended up liking women(okay, so i'm bisexual with a husband, kind of the same thing.) while little RuPaul in training turns out to the ladies man. That tells someone never judge a book by it's cover.