Ozzie: "Damnit!!!!"

Harriet: "Damnit!!!!"

Harriet wearing jean shorts and a summer shirt, with sandals.

Ricky being rude and mean to his parents.

The house being a mess.

Harriet: "I don't want to cook tonight, take us out to eat hamburgers Ozzie."

Ozzie: "Harriet, do you think there will ever be another famous person to have my name?" :lol:

Harriet wrecking the dinner

Rick and Dave being mean or rude to anyone--actually the Nelsons in general for that matter

Wally treating the fraternity brothers to a dinner

June losing an argument

Ginger never getting mad at Wally

Wally turning down a second, or third, or fourth, helping of food.

Beer at the frat house.

An unpolished car, or unpainted screens.

Ricky being "repressed", not till he got married, anyway.

Ozz to Harriet: " Hey, c,mere baby, gimme some sugah..."
Harriet to Ozz: "Tee hee.....Honey, not here, in front of the boys!"
Rick to David: "Hey Dave, what are Mom and Pop up to?"
David: "hey stupid, dont you know anything? They're "gettin' it onnnnn!""

Ozz to Harriet: " Hey, c,mere baby, gimme some sugah..."
Harriet to Ozz: "Tee hee.....Honey, not here, in front of the boys!"
Rick to David: "Hey Dave, what are Mom and Pop up to?"
David: "hey stupid, dont you know anything? They're "gettin' it onnnnn!""
:brent


Harriet doing exercise and not cleaning the house, playing poker with her lady friends.

Ozzie drinking with his boys.

Glad you enjoyed it :)

This was a funny thread! :)

To add to this

we would never hear the TV Harriet drop the F bomb, but I sure remember an interview with Harriet regarding the set to the updated "Ozzie's Girls" series and telling the decorators she was not going to have "that fu***** eagle" over the mantel anymore. I was in shock!! LOL

Ozzie: "Why the HELL did i ever marry, and have those d*mn kids??!!"

Harriet: "Make your OWN stinking dinner Ozwald, do you think I'm your slave, or something?"

Ricky: "Man that Rock n Roll crap sucks, I want to start my own polka band!"

David: "Geez Pop, why dont you get a REAL job, you lazy bum?"

Wally: "Hey Mr. and Mrs. Nelson, for all those dinners I've mooched off of you, let me take you out to the best restaurant in town."

Harriet: "Clara, you creaky-voiced ditzbrain, get some voice lessons already!"

Ginger: "Wally sweetie-pie, I LOVE the way you take me for granted, borrow money from me and ogle other girls. You're a dream come true."

Ozzie: "Wally you big oaf. You've been over here for dinner five times this week and completely cleaned out our refrigerator twice .Your freeloading days are over."

Ozzie: (approx 1952) "Harriet, kids, i just got a great idea; let's make up a TV show about our lives, and play ourselves!"

Harriet: "Yes Dear, great idea!" (Aside to David)"Dave , go get Daddy's "medecine", I think he needs to be sedated again....." (Dave: "'K Mom.")

Ricky: "No way Pop, i dont want no stupid cameras in my face, I hate show business, I'm gonna be an interior decorator!"

Harriet to Ozzie: "What's for dinner? Make your own da*n dinner--I'm going going out partying with Clara."

Wally to Mrs. Nelson: "Gee Mrs. Nelson I couldn't eat another bite. I'm trying to lose weight."

Harriet: "Ozzy, PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!!!!"
Ozz: "Chill babe, it's the 60s, lay back, and smoke a J!
:eek2:

:lol: :lol: :lol: This is hilarious!

Ozzie:The house is so quiet when the boys are out.
Harriet: It's never quiet with your big mouth.
Ozzie:Doc and Darby never returned my phone calls.
Harriet: They're as sick of you as I am.
Ozzie: Where's Thorny these days?
Harriet: With Doc and Darby.
Ozzie: Want to go the malt shop?
Harriet: No, your cholesterol is sky high.
Ozzie: That's from the pancakes and french toast we have everyday.
Harriet:Nobody shoves them down your throat.
Ozzie: Can I borrow the Kodak camera I gave you for Christmas?
Harriet: Wally sat on it.
Ozzie: Anything good on tv tonight?
Harriet: Yes, Batman

OMG! These are so funny! LMAO!

Thorny: "Hazel, you're fired!"

oops, wrong sitcom :lol:

Ozzie: Do you know we were the first couple to sleep in a double bed on tv?
Harriet: That wasn't my idea.

Harriet: Actually that was Mary Kay and Johnny in 1948.
Ozzie: Hush your mouth! That can't be true
Rick: She doesn't mess around, Pop.

Ozzie:The house is so quiet when the boys are out.
Harriet: It's never quiet with your big mouth.
Ozzie:Doc and Darby never returned my phone calls.
Harriet: They're as sick of you as I am.
Ozzie: Where's Thorny these days?
Harriet: With Doc and Darby.
Ozzie: Want to go the malt shop?
Harriet: No, your cholesterol is sky high.
Ozzie: That's from the pancakes and french toast we have everyday.
Harriet:Nobody shoves them down your throat.
Ozzie: Can I borrow the Kodak camera I gave you for Christmas?
Harriet: Wally sat on it.
Ozzie: Anything good on tv tonight?
Harriet: Yes, Batman

These are gr8 ones Janine. LMAO.

These are gr8 ones Janine. LMAO.
Thank you Rich.

Ozzie: That darn Joe sold our lawnmower at his garage sale.
Harriet: He never returned it?
Ozzie:No,he said judging by the looks of our lawn, I never used it. What a nerve.
Harriet: Don't get upset dear, Darby is having a garage sale, maybe he has one for sale.
Ozzie: He did, I bought it.
Harriet: Was a good one?
Ozzie: Yes, it is our old one.
Harriet: Well see dear, everything worked out.
Ozzie: Yes, I paid $40 to get my old lawnmover back.
Harriet: Look at the bright side, you can cut the lawn and shut Joe up.
Ozzie: Maybe tomorrow, I have to meet Doc at the malt shop.

Ozzie: Boy, Harriet, that meal you served yesterday was fit for a pig
Harriet: Well, I cook to please

Ozzie: Why is breakfast so late today?
Harriet: Why are you going to work or something?
Ozzie: No, I don't work so I can be part of the action around here.
Harriet: Is this is action, bury me now.
Ozzie: Are Ricky and David coming over this weekend?
Harriet: No, Rick is booked at some garden party and David is finalizing his divorce papers with June.
Ozzie: Boy, I'm so proud of those guys.

Harriet: You know, Clara, that Joe is such a dream. I wish I had spotted him before you.
Clara: I can't believe my luck in landing such a dreamboat. Joe is every woman's fantasy.

Ozzie: Hey, Joe, doesn't Clara's voice just turn you on everyday?
Joe: Man, Ozzie, who needs Viagra when there is the sound of my hot Clara!

Ricky: Ha ha David, I just got another residual check from my latest single and I'm not going to share.
David: Keep your old residual check, Pop said I can direct an episode this season.
Ricky: Better on that end of the camera instead of in front of it.
David: Looks who talking, you have the acting ability of a palm tree.
Ricky: Mom, David is making fun of me.
Harriet: David, don't make fun of Rick, his skin will break out again.
Ozzie: What's the trouble here?
Harriet: The boys were making fun of each other.
Ozzie: Was it funny, I'll use it on the show?
Harriet: Speaking of the show, I'm getting bloated from drinking all that coke, my skirt is getting tight.
Ozzie: You know the sponsor wants you to use the product on tv.
Harriet: and I burned my hand on that darn gas range, you know I can't cook.

Ozzie: Harriet, don't make me spank you now!
Harriet: Who do you think you are Ricky Ricardo?

Ricky: Ha ha David, I just got another residual check from my latest single and I'm not going to share.
David: Keep your old residual check, Pop said I can direct an episode this season.
Ricky: Better on that end of the camera instead of in front of it.
David: Looks who talking, you have the acting ability of a palm tree.
Ricky: Mom, David is making fun of me.
Harriet: David, don't make fun of Rick, his skin will break out again.
Ozzie: What's the trouble here?
Harriet: The boys were making fun of each other.
Ozzie: Was it funny, I'll use it on the show?
Harriet: Speaking of the show, I'm getting bloated from drinking all that coke, my skirt is getting tight.
Ozzie: You know the sponsor wants you to use the product on tv.
Harriet: and I burned my hand on that darn gas range, you know I can't cook.


:lol: Those are great Jannine!:wave:

June: David, have you seen my crayons and coloring book ? I was sure I left them in here.

Rick: Wally, if you don't stop with that annoying chuckle, I'm going to stomp you into the ground.

Ozzie: Harriet, I went down to the employment agency today.