If you work for Mel, don't complain abt the wages.

Don't eat the chili.

If you see an old poor lady with a large brown bag, CHARGE HER ASS FOR THE FOOD.

If a man sets up a date with your fellow co-worker after making a date with you..DON'T LET HIM OFF SO EASY.

Don't go out with your fellow co-worker's brother who is in the rodeo business.

Keep your nose out of the dingy waitress' life.

Make sure your diner has a GOOD insurance policy!! :lol:

Things we learned from Alice - "how to stow it".

That Donkeys don't fly.

An effective way to get a husband is to get picked up for jaywalking. :eek:

When someone says something you don't like just tell them, "Kiss My Grits."

If you become a fry cook, wear white pants and a white shirt with a white hat.

It takes three waitresses to run a tiny little diner.

Don't fall expecting your friends to catch you.

Mel will fall asleep if you put a paper bag over his head.

Role playing will always break the ice amongst feuding friends.

If you are a stickler for order, DON'T EVER room with Flo.

Always make sure your date is not gay before you start thinking marriage. :lol:

Linda Lavin cannot sing puke:

They should have never re-recorded the opening theme song (which I actually liked).

Never drive an 18-wheeler in a snowstorm on X-Mas Eve!

Throwing plates into pieces on the floor is "Greek applause".