Penny Lane
12-14-2006, 10:15 AM
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
CHURCH BULLETINS
They're back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with
typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid
of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
due to a conflict.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't
care much about you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again,"
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the help they can get.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in
the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days!
-----------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
hall.
Music will follow.
----------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased person you want remembered.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
entertainment and gracious hostility.
------------------------------------------------- ---------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
follow.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
-----------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
------------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.
----------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church.
Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHURCH BULLETINS
They're back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with
typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or
were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon
tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in
the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid
of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled
due to a conflict.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't
care much about you.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again,"
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
------------------------------------------------------------
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all
the help they can get.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir
will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
-----------------------------------------------------------
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in
the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days!
-----------------------------------------------------------
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church
hall.
Music will follow.
----------------------------------------------------------
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What
Is Hell?"
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition
of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
-----------------------------------------------------------
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the
deceased person you want remembered.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The church will host an evening of fine dining, super
entertainment and gracious hostility.
------------------------------------------------- ---------
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to
follow.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every
kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
-----------------------------------------------------------
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park
across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
------------------------------------------------------------
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All
ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
------------------------------------------------------------
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday.
--------------------------------------------
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.
----------------------------------------------------------
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
----------------------------------------------------------
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church.
Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
--------------------------
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing
campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------