I found out today that a cousin of mine was killed last night in a car accident. We were not real close and only saw one another once or twice a year, but it still is horrible. He was only 38 years old and leaves behind a wife and a 7 year old child. Especially right here at Christmas time and all, it is so sad. I am still sort of shocked at the news. Doesn't seem real.

I am posting this here to just kind of let everyone remember that these boards are not the end all. We all get worked up online sometimes, and some of us dont always get along.... but when you come right down to it, its silly. I can say this, there is not a single person on the boards that I really have any issue with. Maybe we have argued, maybe we have had a spat or a heated mess.... maybe we have said some things that were not so kind. But noone that I would wish any harm or any misfortune on at all. And I mean noone... not even the ones I have bickered the most with. I wish all of you guys a long, healthy, safe and happy life.

Just kind of puts things in perspective. I spent about 2 hours on the phone making calls to loved ones and arranging with work to have the day off to drive up for the funeral and all. Then I clicked online and checked out the site and just really thought--- the whole bickering stuff really means nothing. We think it does at the time, but its so small. And over nothing. I have not always been kind of fair to some, and I apologize to anyone I have hurt with harsh words. No, I am not kissing up or anything like that. It is just that when things like this happen, it makes us realize what really IS important in real life. What really matters, and what really makes a difference. The boards are fun and all, but they are not real life.

So to all of you I say, Please remember what is important and what matters and cherish the loved ones you have and let them know what they mean to you. I have not been on the boards much lately because of new work schedule and a lack of time, but remember what matters folks. The time we have here really is short. Thanks for bearing with another long post and God bless you and yours.

That was a great post. I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. :( RIP.

My condolences Monty

That is sad news especially this close to Christmas, I hope your family can come together and support each other through this tragedy.

Take Care

J

Thanks for your kind words. I really meant what I said. I know that I am have been a pot stirrer too, but life is really too short to waste time like that anymore. I think back to the time I have spent bickering over politics or trading or tv shows and I think why wasnt I playing with my kids instead? Why wasnt I calling up my mother and telling her I love her? These things matter... and I just hope that everyone else remembers what matters too. I like to think of myself as a good dad and a good Christian, but I have not always acted that way towards others. Not just on the boards, but at work or in day to day life. Bad things like this hurt a lot, not just me but a lot of people and it has really caused me to rethink a lot of things. The stuff that matters will be coming first and foremost from now on.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss Lamont, I truly am. :( You're absolutely right, life is incredibly precious, and I think this new outlook you have on things, is a really good thing. It's unfortunate that it took such a tragedy to give you this realization, but atleast something positive has come out of this terrible tragedy. Hang in there man. You and your family will definitely be in my prayers!!!

I'm sorry :(

I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Losing a loved one is always devastating, but when it's sudden, it truly compounds the loss. There's an entire psychological dynamic to it. When I lost my sister suddenly in 1991, I was looking for solace, comfort, answers, anything.

I found a book titled, 'No Time For Goodbyes'....or something very similiar. I got it at the library. It helped me understand my feelings better.

I'll say a prayer for your cousin and his family, and a special prayer for you. I'm really sorry.

:hug:

I think Janice offers some good advice, if its the book I am thinking of-

My sympathies for your loss...please let any of us know if we can do anything..

That's really sad. I'm sorry about it. We have a very small family and if that ever happened to one of my cousins, it'd be horrible.

My condolences to you Lamont. I pray that his wife and child somehow, find the strength to deal with such a loss. I lost a beloved nephew at the age of 12 in a car accident. I know that horrible feeling of seeing a loved one and thinking that you will see them again, only to be told they are gone. It is a feeling that I can't explain.

I pray for them and will ask God in my prayers to "hold them" in his arms and give them comfort.

I just went to a rosary today for a beloved aunt of mine. I just got home. It is true what you said, death really puts into perspective the things that really matter in life.

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AT THIS TRAGIC TIME. GOD BE WITH YOU.

First, I'm very sorry for your loss :( Also, I thank you for your kind and insightful words.

About a month before my dad died back in 1988, when he was pretty sick, he told me in essence the same thing. He was sitting on the side of the bed. I told him I loved him. And he said, "You want to know something? All the things I used to think were so important in life--aren't." I couldn't come up with any verbal response for that. As we just looked at each other, we both knew he was right. Some of his progeny have followed this advice, and some have not, which accounts for some of the division within my family.

As for SO, too, like you--I have no ill feelings toward anyone. Life's too precious and short. SO are friends that I enjoy spending time with often.

Lamont (Monty), may you and your family be consoled during this loss.

I know we have had our problems getting along but I want you to know that I am very sorry for your loss Lamont. :( I've lost family members and each time it takes a little bit out of you and it does make you think about life in general. I'll say a prayer for you and your family and God Bless.

That was a good post. Very true. Sorry for your loss, my condolences go out to you and your family. :(

I'm so sorry for your loss :( :(

A wonderful and meaningful post... I'm very sorry to hear of your cousin's tragic passing, Lamont...

I found out today that a cousin of mine was killed last night in a car accident. We were not real close and only saw one another once or twice a year, but it still is horrible. He was only 38 years old and leaves behind a wife and a 7 year old child. Especially right here at Christmas time and all, it is so sad. I am still sort of shocked at the news. Doesn't seem real.

I am posting this here to just kind of let everyone remember that these boards are not the end all. We all get worked up online sometimes, and some of us dont always get along.... but when you come right down to it, its silly. I can say this, there is not a single person on the boards that I really have any issue with. Maybe we have argued, maybe we have had a spat or a heated mess.... maybe we have said some things that were not so kind. But noone that I would wish any harm or any misfortune on at all. And I mean noone... not even the ones I have bickered the most with. I wish all of you guys a long, healthy, safe and happy life.

Just kind of puts things in perspective. I spent about 2 hours on the phone making calls to loved ones and arranging with work to have the day off to drive up for the funeral and all. Then I clicked online and checked out the site and just really thought--- the whole bickering stuff really means nothing. We think it does at the time, but its so small. And over nothing. I have not always been kind of fair to some, and I apologize to anyone I have hurt with harsh words. No, I am not kissing up or anything like that. It is just that when things like this happen, it makes us realize what really IS important in real life. What really matters, and what really makes a difference. The boards are fun and all, but they are not real life.

So to all of you I say, Please remember what is important and what matters and cherish the loved ones you have and let them know what they mean to you. I have not been on the boards much lately because of new work schedule and a lack of time, but remember what matters folks. The time we have here really is short. Thanks for bearing with another long post and God bless you and yours.


I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. Your post makes a lot of good points and I agree with it 100%.

I'm very sorry for your loss :( I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.

Very excellent post, Monty. I agree... It's amazing how our perspective changes when something major like a family death occurs.

I had a cousin that decided to commit suicide, back in 2004 (he was only 16). That REALLY changed my perspective. We weren't super-super-super-close or anything like that, but I still saw him several times a year, and I still cared about him. When I talk to people about the week he committed suicide (he did the final act on Sunday afternoon and died for good 45 minutes after midnight on Monday), I tell them it was the absolute worst week of my life, and it really was. :(

I just went to a funeral service two weekends ago, on 2 December. The service was for a guy I had known from school for close to 15 years. I went to a preschool - 12th grade school for a good number of years, and it was how I knew him. He graduated in '94, I graduated in '03. After he graduated, he wasn't at the school for a while... but came back around 1998 or 1999 to work at the school. And, guess how he died... Yup, suicide. He decided to drown himself. :( He was only 32 and left behind a son. That's just terrible. :(

It always is a tragedy when a loved one dies suddenly and unexpectedly in an accident. It's not like they were sick with cancer, old age, etc... because at least you have the time to say goodbye to them before they finally pass on. There just are no words for that kind of situation. You say you weren't super-close to your cousin, but if you EVER need to talk about it, just talk. I like Janice's first post, too... Great advice.

I'll be thinking of you during this time.

I'm very sorry. :(

I'm really, really sorry, Lamont. And the things you said in your post were so true. You're a wise man.

I just read your post lamont so sorry to hear about your loss.

Ohhhh....my heart goes out to you, Lamont. Just reading your title and your thread sent me chills. I also lost an older cousin I didn't see very often through a fatal car accident in late July 2006. All of my sympathies. :(

i am so sorry for your loss.