What are ways in which you get over certain things that happened to you in your past that you regret and resent? Do you find it difficult to get over things and do you find that they affect the type of person you are today? Sometimes I will just be going along and then I'll find something that reminds me of something bad that happened to me or something someone said to me over 8 years ago. It's even more difficult when it has to do with family, one time in a confrontation with my parents I explained to them some of the reasons why I'm so bitter and angry towards them and they denied everything. I think anger is one of the hardest things to get over.

The ways I try to get over anger is to just simply let it all out, talk to someone I trust.

It is hard to let go, trust me. I'm holding on to something that happened 12 years ago, my mother was killed in a car accident when I was 14, a drunk driver totaled her freakin' car. The real kicker is my dad got re-married four months AFTER we buried her. I still carry my anger towards my father which resulted in him not seeing his granddaughter and meeting his daughter-in-law.

Good Question.

I carried a grudge and a lot of anger towards my ex-husband when I filed for divorce. His anger towards me for filing for divorce only fueled my temper and eventual hate for him. I realized after two years of carrying this heavy burden on my shoulders and in my heart, I had to let it go. I had to forgive him for hating me and move on. The weight that was lifted off my shoulders FELT SO GREAT. I felt like I could finally breathe. Eventually he felt the same way. Although he never stopped loving me, we became friends. We had to, we shared two daughters. And right before he passed away in May, we still were able to convey to each other our final goodbyes and any thoughts we had. I am glad for that.

I've been having a hard time lately with regret. I always said I never regretted anything that I've ever done because I learned from it... but lately I just wish I could turn back time and do it all over.

I guess I just need to accept it... that's all you can do.

Good Question.

I carried a grudge and a lot of anger towards my ex-husband when I filed for divorce. His anger towards me for filing for divorce only fueled my temper and eventual hate for him. I realized after two years of carrying this heavy burden on my shoulders and in my heart, I had to let it go. I had to forgive him for hating me and move on. The weight that was lifted off my shoulders FELT SO GREAT. I felt like I could finally breathe. Eventually he felt the same way. Although he never stopped loving me, we became friends. We had to, we shared two daughters. And right before he passed away in May, we still were able to convey to each other our final goodbyes and any thoughts we had. I am glad for that.

I'm glad that you and your ex fixed things before he passed. :D

I'm glad that you and your ex fixed things before he passed. :D
Thank you. I am glad also. It was a blessing. How many people get a chance to say goodbye to people they care for and/or love? Not too many.

:) There are alot of things I regret about my past. For years I use to punish myself about the what ifs , but then one day I woke up and realized you cannot beat yourself or others for things that use to be. I found that forgivness of others came easier than forgiving myself,so yes I regret hating myself and others for things that happened years ago. Forgivong yourself and others takes time but its possible. :wave:

Thank you. I am glad also. It was a blessing. How many people get a chance to say goodbye to people they care for and/or love? Not too many.

Not many, including me. I'm still mad that I never got to say goodbye to my mom. It happened like a thief in the night, one minute she's sowing my cheerleading uniform, even though she was late meeting friends for dinner, the next we get a phone call saying that she died in the crash and that bastard only walked away with a damn scratch on his big ass head!:mad: :(

Not many, including me. I'm still mad that I never got to say goodbye to my mom. It happened like a thief in the night, one minute she's sowing my cheerleading uniform, even though she was late meeting friends for dinner, the next we get a phone call saying that she died in the crash and that bastard only walked away with a damn scratch on his big ass head!:mad: :(
That is horrible. I can't even put words to describe how horrible that is. I can only give you my condolences. I am truly sorry. How old were you when this tragedy occurred?

I lost my mom when I had just turned 6. She slipped and fell. When she fell, she hit her head. She went into a coma at the hospital and never came out of it. She died shortly thereafter. I was asleep when this occurred so like you, one moment I had kissed my mother goodnight and the next thing I know, she is in a hospital in a coma. She died three days later. A little girl needs her mother and I lost mine. So, I know how lucky and blessed I was to have said goodbye to my ex-husband and my father when they were each on their deathbeds. There is no feeling like it. It is sorrowful, but such a blessing to say whatever you want to say before that person dies. Again, I am sorry for what you went through and what you continue to go through. I dealt with my mother's death for years because I was too young to understand.

That is horrible. I can't even put words to describe how horrible that is. I can only give you my condolences. I am truly sorry. How old were you when this tragedy occurred?

I lost my mom when I had just turned 6. She slipped and fell. When she fell, she hit her head. She went into a coma at the hospital and never came out of it. She died shortly thereafter. I was asleep when this occurred so like you, one moment I had kissed my mother goodnight and the next thing I know, she is in a hospital in a coma. She died three days later. A little girl needs her mother and I lost mine. So, I know how lucky and blessed I was to have said goodbye to my ex-husband and my father when they were each on their deathbeds. There is no feeling like it. It is sorrowful, but such a blessing to say whatever you want to say before that person dies. Again, I am sorry for what you went through and what you continue to go through. I dealt with my mother's death for years because I was too young to understand.

Oh my god, I'm so sorry about your mother!!!! And to lose her at such an young age!

When my mother was killed, I was only 14 years old. I do remember this very well because sadly, my parents were arguing that day, it was so bad, that my brother(who was home from college) had to basically jump in to stop our dad from punching her in the face.

I still remember the call and going to the scene, my mother's car was crushed and she lost her left hand. On the passenger side was my cheerleading pom-pom that I left in the car. I was torn inside and fainted. What was f****d up, was my father felt nothing. He didn't shed a tear and quickly dated (I still think to this day that he messed around) someone a couple of days BEFORE my mom's funeral. He didn't go with us to bury her in her country(Russia). Let's just say that from them until 18 I've spent MANY nights over friend's houses.:rolleyes:

I don't. I'm still letting a bad job experience from 2004 eat at me. I still hate those people and will until I'm 90. I hold grudges FOREVER. And talking about it doesn't make it leave my head at all.

It's not a good thing.

I don't. I'm still letting a bad job experience from 2004 eat at me. I still hate those people and will until I'm 90. I hold grudges FOREVER. And talking about it doesn't make it leave my head at all.

It's not a good thing.

Now that I think about it, talking about only makes me even more pissed off. So I totally feel you. I had a bad job experience once, the end result? I came out on top. Now they wish they had my career!

Oh boy, I have so many feelings from the past that I can't or won't let go. I pray to God all the time about it. It would make my life a lot easier if I could just let all of it go.

Now that I think about it, talking about only makes me even more pissed off. So I totally feel you. I had a bad job experience once, the end result? I came out on top. Now they wish they had my career!
I ended up walking out. lol There was no way to win with those two.

For me it's weird, because it's little things that would sneak up on me. Such as not standing up for myself when i thought I should have as early as elementary school

Oh my god, I'm so sorry about your mother!!!! And to lose her at such an young age!

When my mother was killed, I was only 14 years old. I do remember this very well because sadly, my parents were arguing that day, it was so bad, that my brother(who was home from college) had to basically jump in to stop our dad from punching her in the face.

I still remember the call and going to the scene, my mother's car was crushed and she lost her left hand. On the passenger side was my cheerleading pom-pom that I left in the car. I was torn inside and fainted. What was f****d up, was my father felt nothing. He didn't shed a tear and quickly dated (I still think to this day that he messed around) someone a couple of days BEFORE my mom's funeral. He didn't go with us to bury her in her country(Russia). Let's just say that from them until 18 I've spent MANY nights over friend's houses.:rolleyes:
I just feel horrible. I don't even want to imagine what you must went through. How horrible that day is embedded in your memory like that, and on top of that, to know that day started out on such a terrible note. For you to have gone to the accident site and see your mother that way...NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO ENDURE SUCH A TRAGEDY. That drunken driver who got away WITH MURDER, are heartless and careless fools who only think of themselves when drinking and driving. God, it is always a wonder to me how the drunken driver survives while he/she takes an innocent life, or two, or three. So sad.

I just feel horrible. I don't even want to imagine what you must went through. How horrible that day is embedded in your memory like that, and on top of that, to know that day started out on such a terrible note. For you to have gone to the accident site and see your mother that way...NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO ENDURE SUCH A TRAGEDY. That drunken driver who got away WITH MURDER, are heartless and careless fools who only think of themselves when drinking and driving. God, it is always a wonder to me how the drunken driver survives while he/she takes an innocent life, or two, or three. So sad.

Luckily, that bastard driver got life in prison! Yeah, it's always the drunk driver that lived, even though the driver cried like a baby during the trial. I wasn't allowed at the scene, but my friend took me anyway.

That day was horrible but my mother assured me that everything was alright, boy was she wrong:( . Them aruging i'm pretty sure it had something to do with my father's selfishness, and I honestly think that he married her simply because she was as he called her for as long as I can remember, "His white trophy wife".

What are ways in which you get over certain things that happened to you in your past that you regret and resent? Do you find it difficult to get over things and do you find that they affect the type of person you are today? Sometimes I will just be going along and then I'll find something that reminds me of something bad that happened to me or something someone said to me over 8 years ago. It's even more difficult when it has to do with family, one time in a confrontation with my parents I explained to them some of the reasons why I'm so bitter and angry towards them and they denied everything. I think anger is one of the hardest things to get over.
It depends, but I will usually allow the person I am resenting a chance to explain if they wish to apologize to me. If they don't make an effort, then I usually will hold that resentment against them.

I actually recently came across such a situation with an ex-coworker whom I considered a really good friend up until two-and-a-half years ago. She ended up becoming this vile and angry person who hurt A LOT of at work emotionally. She was that profound and effective in her anger without even realizing her impact with her anger. Then, she met some man online, married him, moved to Colorado Springs and recently came back in mid-September saying she is in the process of divorcing this guy. She left our college with lasting negative impressions from her hurting behaviors. I was so angry with her I drove out of our parking lot on the last day I saw her back on January 5, 2005 saying aloud, "Good riddance!" I held anger, hurtness and resentment towards her. All the other techs and my boss were able to readily forgive her and talked with her....all except me.

She came to visit us at work, and I was quite neutral towards her greeting. She greeted me nicely, but I was rather cold and neutral towards her. I just said, "Hi" and just left our office. I am sure she picked up on my cold shoulder vibes, but I don't care. Unfortunately, she was best friends with a co-worker friend, so I might see her at my friend's wedding in July 2007. Oh, well.

Now, if this girl does decide to apologize for her behavior or wants to talk, I would give her the time and day. I like to allow a second chance, if she wants me to allow it. That's how I would like to be treated if I were in opposite shoes. I will definitely forgive but not forget. I'm sure it would be the same for me if the tables were turned.

having read this
all i can say is that my sympathies are with you

i dont know what to say that can help, but i am sorry for your pain!

having read this
all i can say is that my sympathies are with you

i dont know what to say that can help, but i am sorry for your pain!

Who? If you don't mind me asking...

to be honest thinkpink, i had read about your personal experience and it moved me
and i was responding back to you

it is not fair that you had to go through that at such a young age