So I was informed today that my mother finally kicked him out. He's looking for another place to live and might possibly move in with his friend.

I have been waiting for this day to come for years (my father is an alcoholic- functioning, but nevertheless). I hate him, I hate being in the same general vicinity with him. I lost my father around 6th grade. This man is just a man who lives in my house and dishes out money to keep me happy... but you know what? I'd give back everything. All the concert tickets, the Broadway shows, the dance lessons, the vacations, everything... just to have my father back. And it kills me. I am just like my father when it comes to alcohol. I've already had my share of detoxes and AA meetings... but I swear on my soul, I will never become him. I won't ever destroy my family like he did.

Sorry guys, I just have to vent. I don't really know what to do. Anyone here have separated or divorced parents? If you don't mind, can you share your experiences with me?

Wow...I'm so sorry :( :bighug:

My parents are currently seperated and have been so for nearly 2 years. It's tough, I know :(

I'm really sorry to hear this. I ,too, have a parent that suffers from an addiction. One day he'll come to his senses and quit the stuff for good :)

That sucks, Karly...I'm sorry. :( But if it's gone on that long, it's probably for the best. I can definitely relate...That actually sounds exactly like my dad. My mom has threatened to kick him out numerous times but has never actually gone through with it. And he thinks that just because he buys me stuff and takes me places that we should be "cool" with each other. But in reality, I hope I'm never like him when I get older.

I'm sure that didn't help. But yeah. This might actually be a relief on you and your mom. I know it would be for me.

I am very sorry about this happening, I guess though, that I was not completely surprised. I have known about all the problems you have had with your family, and how it has just wore down on you. I know that you do not want to be what he has become, I know that you will overcome that temptation to do and to be that. You have gone so much that you don't need further devastation. If he is out of your house, I hope it becomes a positive step toward your own healing and help you from any further toxic behavior. :bighug: You've come further along!!

i am sorry for the situation

but u might want to try to not "hate" your dad
it sounds as if u care a great deal about him or u wouldnt be so hurt by his addiction

i dont know the reasons why he has a drinking problem, but try to remember that under all the booze is still the dad u love and miss

hopefully one day he can overcome his demons

So I was informed today that my mother finally kicked him out. He's looking for another place to live and might possibly move in with his friend.

I have been waiting for this day to come for years (my father is an alcoholic- functioning, but nevertheless). I hate him, I hate being in the same general vicinity with him. I lost my father around 6th grade. This man is just a man who lives in my house and dishes out money to keep me happy... but you know what? I'd give back everything. All the concert tickets, the Broadway shows, the dance lessons, the vacations, everything... just to have my father back. And it kills me. I am just like my father when it comes to alcohol. I've already had my share of detoxes and AA meetings... but I swear on my soul, I will never become him. I won't ever destroy my family like he did.

Sorry guys, I just have to vent. I don't really know what to do. Anyone here have separated or divorced parents? If you don't mind, can you share your experiences with me?

Karly, I understand where you're coming from. Same exact situation, add in abuse, drugs etc etc. My dad is a severe alocholic who to this day cannot admit to it, nor will he get help. His health has been greatly effected by it, he's 50 and apparently looks 70. My mom kicked him out when I was 8 or 9, for a few years we had somewhat of a relationship. Fast foward 10 years, I, and my brother and sister, no longer speak/see or have a relationship with him. He lives DOWN THE BLOCK. Always has. Havent seen him in about 2 years. We've finally realized it's not healthy for us to attempt having a relationship with someone like that. He's the cause of most of our unhappniess throughout life and we finally learned how to move on and let go. He did not walk his daugher down the isle last month. I don't know if this makes much sense, but, unless he can clean up his act you don't need that in your life. It's a terrible situation and I wish things wouldve been different for me, and I'm sorry that I have to hear that you're going through the same thing.

If you need to talk/vent, you know where to reach me.

I'm sorry. :(

im sorry, that sucks :(

Karly, I am so sorry. :( :bighug: You know you can always talk to me about anything. I love you.

I'm sorry to hear this Karly. You may find that your home is happier without your father living there. Alcohol destroys families, yet divorce is always sad. I think your mother should move on with her life while she's still young.

I'm so sorry :hug: No one deserves to have to watch that happen to someone they love. :(

I'm sorry to hear about your father. My parents have been divorced for 4 years. It's not easy but you'll get through it.

I'm sorry Karly :( I was so relieved when we stopped living with my dad too, he's a power hungry jerk. So I know what you mean by the relief, but at the same time you want the good guy back. My dad gets this good side to him around other people and I just hate that it goes away around us.

aw karly. i'm here for you babe. please don't hesitate to call / IM / e-mail.
i love you. <3

I hope your dad wakes up one day and realizes what he's lost (and what his addiction has done to you) and gets help. I haven't been thru anything like this, so I can just hope all of it gets worked out and everyone can be happy, because you deserve it. Oh, and I have to think that since you can admit to your demons, you'll never become your father.

Thank you guys so much.. I never expected this much support. It means so much to me. Over the past 5 years, it's like a lot of you have actually become my friends who I can turn to. Who cares about distance? That's what phones and cars are all about.

My mother and I further discussed this last night. She said she told him that he needs to move out, at least for a while. If he cleans up, he can come back. If not, she said he needs to stay out, not only for the good of her, my sister and I, but especially for my mental health. She doesn't want to see me slip and fall again.

Thank you guys again, honestly. It does mean a lot.

Karly, I am so sorry for what you have had to put up with. There is alcoholism in my family and it has caused so many problems that I doubt will ever heal. Hopefully things will get better for your family.
On a happier note you have been a joy to us here. I think that I can speak for almost everybody. Take care sweetie. We luv ya!:bighug:

:hug:

Here are lyrics to an anthem of power, hope, and encouragement to strengthen you in the days ahead:

Through The Fire And The Flames
by DragonForce

On a cold winter morning, in the time before the light
In flames of death's eternal reign we ride towards the fight
And the darkness is falling down and the times are tough all right
The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight

Fighting high, fighting on for the steel
Through the wastelands evermore
The scattered souls will feel the hell that is wasted on the shores

On the blackest waves in history
We watch them as they go
Through fire, pain and once again we know

So now we fly ever free
We're free before the thunderstorm
On towards the wilderness our quest carries on
Far beyond the sundown, far beyond the moonlight
Deep inside our hearts and all our souls

[Chorus]
So far away we wait for the day
For the lights are so wasted and gone
We feel the pain of a lifetime lost in a thousand days
Through the fire and the flames we carry on

As the red day is dawning
And the lightning cracks the sky
They raise their hands to the heavens above
As we send them to their lies
Running back through the mid-morning light
There's a burning in my heart
We're banished from the time in the fallen land
To a light beyond the stars

In the blackest dreams we do believe
Our destiny this time
And endlessly we'll all be free tonight

And on the wings of a dream
So far beyond reality
All alone in desperation
Now the time is gone

Lost inside you'll never find
Lost within my own mind
Day after day this misery must go on

[Chorus]

Now here we stand with their blood on our hands
We've fought so hard now can we understand?
I'll break the seal of this curse if I possibly can
For freedom of every man

[Chorus]

:rock: :guitar: :guitar: :rock: