One of my girlfriends back east sent me this. She knows I love George Carlin and I have been a fan of his since I was a teen. Hope you enjoy this:



George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . .. . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50

and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!



HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

:lol:



HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

I love that, it's so true! :thanx:

You are welcome!

Not written by George Carlin. From his website:

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/dontblame.html

Floating around the Internet these days, posted and e-mailed back and forth, are a number of writings attributed to me, and I want people to know they're not mine. Don't blame me.

Some are essay-length, some are just short lists of one and two-line jokes, but if they're flyin' around the Internet, they're probably not mine. Occasionally, a couple of jokes on a long list might have come from me, but not often. And because most of this stuff is really lame, it's embarrassing to see my name on it.



And that's the problem. I want people to know that I take care with my writing, and try to keep my standards high. But most of this "humor" on the Internet is just plain stupid. I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different. But a casual fan has no way of knowing, and it bothers me that some people might believe I'd actually be capable of writing some of this stuff.

"PARADOX OF OUR TIME"
One of the more embarrassing items making the internet/e-mail rounds is a sappy load of **** called "The Paradox of Our Time." The main problem I have with it is that as true as some of the expressed sentiments may be, who really gives a ****? Certainly not me.

I figured out years ago that the human species is totally ****ed and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a ****. Like me. I really don't care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bull**** a long time ago. It's meaningless. (See the preface of "Braindroppings.")

Another problem I have with "Paradox" is that the ideas are all expressed in a sort of pseudo-spiritual, New-Age-y, "Gee-whiz-can't-we-do-better-than-this" tone of voice. It's not only bad prose and poetry, it's weak philosophy. I hope I never sound like that.

HOW TO SPOT A FAKE
Here's a rule of thumb, folks: Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website. If you see something with my name on it, and you really need to find out if it's mine, post a question on my bulletin board . But only if it's really important to you; don't **** around with me for a lark.

Not written by George Carlin. From his website:

http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/dontblame.html


Thanks for that Brad :thumbsup:

There is no link on his website that specifically mentions the item I posted. Did you check it out yourself? I clicked on the links on the website you provided and it doesn't show up...

Thanks for that Brad :thumbsup:
Did you check out the links yourself? Did you find anything that says this piece is not his? I didn't find it...maybe someone can point it out to me...

I'm a big fan of his, and that doesn't sound like something he'd write. Refer to: "I guess hard-core fans who follow my stuff closely would be able to spot the fake stuff, because the tone of voice is so different." Anyone who's followed George Carlin's career for any amount of times knows he wouldn't write something as sappy as the above.

Also, see "Nothing you see on the Internet is mine unless it came from one of my albums, books, HBO shows, or appeared on my website." That's not from any of his albums, books, specials or his website.

Finally (referring to another article he didn't write) "It's not only bad prose and poetry, it's weak philosophy. I hope I never sound like that."

Eh who cares who it was written by, good message and I'm sure it made alot of people feel better about themselves.

Did you check out the links yourself? Did you find anything that says this piece is not his? I didn't find it...maybe someone can point it out to me...


It popped up for me, If you go his website and look on the right hand side there's a sentence that says The following items (including the "Bad American" email) were NOT written by George Carlin: Read Carlin's response to the crap attributed to him on the internet. click on that.

It popped up for me, If you go his website and look on the right hand side there's a sentence that says The following items (including the "Bad American" email) were NOT written by George Carlin: Read Carlin's response to the crap attributed to him on the internet. click on that.

AKA, I am too a big fan of his, so I don't need to have that pointed in my face as if only certain people are. Being 41, I have followed his career since I was a teen. I have his albums. Whether "it doesn't sound like something he would write" is not CONCRETE PROOF...that is your opinion.
I did click on that, but it did not reference this particular piece. Am I looking in the wrong spot perhaps...I haven't come across anything on the net that states it is NOT his work. If anything, just the opposite.

But, if the message doesn't get across, regardless of who wrote it...then what can I tell you. I know the message is striking and remarkable. If it came from someone like Hitler or Saddam, then it does matter, but since it wasn't from anyone like that...

Found this in a Google search. For the record, i'm not a George Carlin fan...

http://www.reclaimjesus.net/index.php?q=node/325
http://www.avclub.com/content/node/42195/3
"...Here's what I want people to know, and if I did nothing else in this interview, I'll get this across: If anyone e-mails you something "by George Carlin," there's a 99 percent chance I did not write it. I didn't write "Paradox Of Our Time." I didn't write "George Carlin On Aging." I didn't write a eulogy for my wife after she died. I didn't write the New Orleans thing. I didn't write "I Am A Bad American." None of them."

regardless, i'ts a nice write up, whoever wrote it

and another....
I would say the combo of the above, and the statements by George Carlin himself, is proof enough he didn't write it.

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/c/carlin-on-aging.htm

whoever wrote it though, it is a nice piece.

AKA, I am too a big fan of his, so I don't need to have that pointed in my face as if only certain people are. Being 41, I have followed his career since I was a teen. I have his albums. Whether "it doesn't sound like something he would write" is not CONCRETE PROOF...that is your opinion.
I did click on that, but it did not reference this particular piece. Am I looking in the wrong spot perhaps...I haven't come across anything on the net that states it is NOT his work. If anything, just the opposite.

But, if the message doesn't get across, regardless of who wrote it...then what can I tell you. I know the message is striking and remarkable. If it came from someone like Hitler or Saddam, then it does matter, but since it wasn't from anyone like that...

Lighten up a little. He's not trying to slam you. He's just pointing out that it might not be Carlins stuff. Xanex anyone???:D

...I haven't come across anything on the net that states it is NOT his work. If anything, just the opposite...
not trying to start anything but where did you find something that supported it being his? Other than someone else posting it.

not trying to start anything but where did you find something that supported it being his? Other than someone else posting it.
Looking it up on the internet, it states over and over again George Carlin's aging views...each one that I have clicked on (there are countless links, so obviously I didn't go thru each and every one...) I did click over 30 of them and each one DOESN'T STATE it isn't his. One in particular did say, "...it has been said it MAY NOT BE HIS, but whether it is his work, partially his work, or not his work, no matter what, it is a great piece of work and something everyone should enjoy."
The only works of Carlin that I do personally have is one DVD and the rest are his albums from the early 70's...collector's items. I know it isn't on the DVD I own. I know for a fact it's not on his albums that I have, however, it could possibly be that the first part of the piece is his work and the "sappy" second portion is not his. That may be what is being referred to.

As to Bobby F.'s comments, it's not abt feeling "slammed"...it's called nicely pointing out something. I have had to correct something someone has posted and they were incorrect, but I didn't do it in a way that was so condescending...understand? Besides, for argument's sake, let's say it's not his work...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ENJOYING THE WORK FOR WHAT IT SAYS, RATHER THAN WHO WROTE IT? I feel the message is worth a look at and I assumed many would enjoy...
It is kinda frustrating to see that you BobbyF. (AKA also) took the time to post a message like that (Xanax reference) here and never even acknowledged the work itself. I don't mind your post, but what abt the work? Or didn't you read it?

It is kinda frustrating to see that you BobbyF. (AKA also) took the time to post a message like that (Xanax reference) here and never even acknowledged the work itself. I don't mind your post, but what abt the work? Or didn't you read it?

I read the piece. It's a nice sentiment, but it's really not my cup of tea. It's kind of sappy (which is why I said the piece didn't match Carlin's tone), and frankly, I really don't like to think about aging.

Nobody's getting on your case. I'm certainly not pointing at you and saying "ha ha, I corrected you." I just wanted to point out the error in the authorship credit; that's all.

As someone who takes Xanax on a regular basis, I see no reason to take offense at Bobby's comments here. They didn't seem mean-spirited to me. It just seemed like a light-hearted way of saying "chill out."

I read the piece. It's a nice sentiment, but it's really not my cup of tea. It's kind of sappy (which is why I said the piece didn't match Carlin's tone), and frankly, I really don't like to think about aging.

Nobody's getting on your case. I'm certainly not pointing at you and saying "ha ha, I corrected you." I just wanted to point out the error in the authorship credit; that's all.

As someone who takes Xanax on a regular basis, I see no reason to take offense at Bobby's comments here. They didn't seem mean-spirited to me. It just seemed like a light-hearted way of saying "chill out."
I gotcha now. I appreciate that. My apologies and thanks for taking the time to clarify this for me. I would rather hear "chill-out" thank you.

Eh who cares who it was written by, good message and I'm sure it made alot of people feel better about themselves.
:nod:

Looking it up on the internet, it states over and over again George Carlin's aging views...each one that I have clicked on (there are countless links, so obviously I didn't go thru each and every one...) I did click over 30 of them and each one DOESN'T STATE it isn't his. One in particular did say, "...it has been said it MAY NOT BE HIS, but whether it is his work, partially his work, or not his work, no matter what, it is a great piece of work and something everyone should enjoy."
The only works of Carlin that I do personally have is one DVD and the rest are his albums from the early 70's...collector's items. I know it isn't on the DVD I own. I know for a fact it's not on his albums that I have, however, it could possibly be that the first part of the piece is his work and the "sappy" second portion is not his. That may be what is being referred to.

As to Bobby F.'s comments, it's not abt feeling "slammed"...it's called nicely pointing out something. I have had to correct something someone has posted and they were incorrect, but I didn't do it in a way that was so condescending...understand? Besides, for argument's sake, let's say it's not his work...WHAT IS WRONG WITH ENJOYING THE WORK FOR WHAT IT SAYS, RATHER THAN WHO WROTE IT? I feel the message is worth a look at and I assumed many would enjoy...
It is kinda frustrating to see that you BobbyF. (AKA also) took the time to post a message like that (Xanax reference) here and never even acknowledged the work itself. I don't mind your post, but what abt the work? Or didn't you read it?

You go back and look at your post and see if you don't really see the "attitude" in it. I'm not trying to start anything here but it's rather blunt and in your face. And you've said before that you use caps. to make a point. I've always been told that using caps. means you're yelling. Kinda hard to know which one you mean.

The post is nice. It's like alot of others that are posted here. I just think that you thought AKA was trying to "show you up" when it seemed that he was just trying to point something out. I could be wrong.

And the Xanax comment was made in fun as in "chill out" hence the smilie face.:D

You go back and look at your post and see if you don't really see the "attitude" in it. I'm not trying to start anything here but it's rather blunt and in your face. And you've said before that you use caps. to make a point. I've always been told that using caps. means you're yelling. Kinda hard to know which one you mean.

The post is nice. It's like alot of others that are posted here. I just think that you thought AKA was trying to "show you up" when it seemed that he was just trying to point something out. I could be wrong.

And the Xanax comment was made in fun as in "chill out" hence the smilie face.:D
I did mention my caps to you before. Let me clarify, if I ever want to show my anger, i will do it by using this::mad: or maybe this :rolleyes: just depends...but I like to use caps to emphasize, and this you already know, it's a way to make a certain point stand out without getting lost in all the gibberish.:lol:

I think it's safe to say that Carlin DIDN'T write that, especially since a link was posted to an interview where he specifically said "i didn't write George Carlin on Aging" (or however he worded it)

now I wonder who really wrote it.

Eh who cares who it was written by, good message and I'm sure it made alot of people feel better about themselves.

Exactly. The point was the message itself.

Well I enjoyed it, and yet it's so true.

Well I enjoyed it, and yet it's so true.
Isn't it??? I remember going thru the "12 1/2 year age" thingy...how stupid was that? :rofl: I love telling my age, I don't have a problem with it...let's see if it still holds true when I hit FIFTY!!!!!:eek:

Well, whoever wrote it -it was funny.:)

I think it's safe to say that Carlin DIDN'T write that, especially since a link was posted to an interview where he specifically said "i didn't write George Carlin on Aging" (or however he worded it)

now I wonder who really wrote it.
The link didn't work for me...AKA and I discussed this via PM. AKA acknowledged it wasn't working, therefore I couldn't read the link that "specifically said...I didn't write George Carlin on Aging"...I really hate to have this issue being brought up again...if that is all that this piece is worth to anyone...

Those who did see the message, thanks for the positive feedback. BTW Gene, thanx for your PM to me.

The link didn't work for me...AKA and I discussed this via PM. AKA acknowledged it wasn't working, therefore I couldn't read the link that "specifically said...I didn't write George Carlin on Aging"...I really hate to have this issue being brought up again...if that is all that this piece is worth to anyone...

Those who did see the message, thanks for the positive feedback. BTW Gene, thanx for your PM to me.

Is one link the final say in all of this? Ms. O posted some links stating that it wasn't his.

Is one link the final say in all of this? Ms. O posted some links stating that it wasn't his.
Oh God, at this point those who got the message don't care who wrote it...i am advising O that the link wasn't working...AKA advised me thru a PM that the links weren't working. LET THIS S**T DROP...it seems only O is concerned abt the links...you two can PM each other and discuss the links.:lol:

Oh God, at this point those who got the message don't care who wrote it...i am advising O that the link wasn't working...AKA advised me thru a PM that the links weren't working. LET THIS S**T DROP...it seems only O is concerned abt the links...you two can PM each other and discuss the links.:lol:

Just because you're done with it doesn't mean we have to be. And you never know there could be others out there that have looked at this thread, but not responded, and are interested in finding out the truth too. I'm sorry that you're getting so upset about others talking about this. Maybe the best thing for you to do is just not look at this thread anymore. That would be the best way for you to LET THIS S**T DROP.:lol:

Just because you're done with it doesn't mean we have to be. And you never know there could be others out there that have looked at this thread, but not responded, and are interested in finding out the truth too. I'm sorry that you're getting so upset about others talking about this. Maybe the best thing for you to do is just not look at this thread anymore. That would be the best way for you to LET THIS S**T DROP.:lol:
Hey, if you and O are concerned abt it, go right ahead, no one is stopping you two...you two seem the only ones concerned with this...whenever one of you posts something, there is the other one right behind posting...are you two in cahoots?????

Nevermind, it isn't worth it. If you want to keep searching for it, by all means, do it. No one else cares. It's a free board, do what you want. :wave:

Hey, if you and O are concerned abt it, go right ahead, no one is stopping you two...you two seem the only ones concerned with this...whenever one of you posts something, there is the other one right behind posting...are you two in cahoots?????

Nevermind, it isn't worth it. If you want to keep searching for it, by all means, do it. No one else cares. It's a free board, do what you want. :wave:

Hey, thanks for the approval. It means so much to me to have your blessings. I was so worried that I would make you more upset than you already are. I'm glad you're not.;)

Hey, thanks for the approval. It means so much to me to have your blessings. I was so worried that I would make you more upset than you already are. I'm glad you're not.;)
I don't know whether to laugh or cry...:rofl: You made my day. I am not upset...I WANT THE MESSAGE TO BE READ. BTW, what do you think of the message?????:)

I don't know whether to laugh or cry...:rofl: You made my day. I am not upset...I WANT THE MESSAGE TO BE READ. BTW, what do you think of the message?????:)

Makes me want to keep on fighting to hold on to my youth!!

Makes me want to keep on fighting to hold on to my youth!!
:rofl:

I really hate to have this issue being brought up again...if that is all that this piece is worth to anyone...

just wanted to point out that there was about a 1-2 hour time difference between mine and your posts (according to the times I see on the posts), so it wasn't exactly 'bringing it up again'.... and I think crediting work to the appropriate person is worth a small something.

Sorry the link doesn't work, I'll check it out and see if I can't get it working.

Oh God, at this point those who got the message don't care who wrote it...i am advising O that the link wasn't working...AKA advised me thru a PM that the links weren't working. LET THIS S**T DROP...it seems only O is concerned abt the links...you two can PM each other and discuss the links.:lol:
what the ****? i was as diplomatic as possible in those threads. I dind't even care about this post until I got severl PMs from people telling me you were dragging my name in this thread.

anyway, you've obviously put more energy in this thread than me. Have fun!

Hey, if you and O are concerned abt it, go right ahead, no one is stopping you two...you two seem the only ones concerned with this...whenever one of you posts something, there is the other one right behind posting...are you two in cahoots?????

what the hell?? i have posted how many times in this thread?? 4 before I found out you were dragging me into all this crap. So I posted some links to a false claim you were making, so what? I dind't once say anything negative about you in any way. I think you are completely out of line.

It's an amusing piece. Like everyone stated, it doesn't matter that George Carlin didn't write it, it's still funny.