I'm sending a complaint letter to seventeen magazine and i need someone to proofread it :)


Dear Seventeen:

I was highly diapointed that you had the nerve to put "LC" on your cover this month. She contributes nothing to society. All she is known for is being on some reality show, being a whore, and just being mean and fake.
Women like that should not be on this planet. LC and others like her are a disgrace to teenagers and women. As they carry on the age old streotype that teenagers are whiny and disrespectful and that women constantly obbess over clothes, shoes, and make-up. I, for one, do not fit this sterotype. I have more important things on my mind than clothes. I am the editor of The Bossier Hight JROTC Newsletter, School Mascot, on drill team, and in the yearbook commitie. I work my butt off and I don't need my teachers looking down apon my peers because of something they saw on tv.
We have come a long way in 50 years, and people like that just bring us back.
I honestly don't care if this letter makes me "uncool" or "nerdy". When I have something on my mind, I spill it- no matter what people think.


Hopefully my letter has convienced you to select better women for the cover. What about the amazing people that go unnoticed? Amy Lee, Faith Hill, Allison Krauss, Samantha Bee, TINA FEY??? Amazing, powerful women and yet you have overlooked them. Tisk, Tisk.


-Courtnee H_____ 14, BAFB, LA

Grammer Nerds wanted- "grammar"

I was highly diapointed - "disappointed"
apon my peers - "upon"
convienced- "convinced"
commitie- "committee"

PS: Lauren is the least disgraceful person from those shows. At least she's doing something productive with her life. I like her.

Corrections are in bold. Things that need to be taken out are struck out.

Dear Seventeen:

I was highly disapointed that you had the nerve to put "LC" on your cover this month. She contributes nothing to society. All she is known for is being on some reality show, being a whore, and just being mean and fake.
Women like that should not be on this planet. LC and others like her are a disgrace to teenagers and women. As They carry on the age-old stereotype that teenagers are whiny and disrespectful and that women constantly obbess obsess over clothes, shoes, and make-up. I, for one, do not fit this stereotype. I have more important things on my mind than clothes. I am the editor of The Bossier Hight JROTC newsletter, School Mascot serve as the high school mascot, on the drill team, and in on the yearbook commitie committee. I work my butt off and I don't need my teachers looking down apon upon my peers because of something they saw on tv television.
We women have come a long way in 50 years, and people like that just bring us back into the past.
I honestly don't care if this letter makes me "uncool" or "nerdy". "nerdy." When I have something on my mind, I spill it, no matter what people think.
Hopefully my letter has convienced you to select better women for the cover. What about the amazing people that go unnoticed? Amy Lee, Faith Hill, Allison Krauss, Samantha Bee, TINA FEY??? Amazing, powerful women and yet you have overlooked them. Tisk, tisk.


-Courtnee H_____ 14, BAFB, LA

- If you put something inside quotation marks right at the end of a sentence, a period MUST be included INSIDE the quotation marks.
- Try not to end sentences in prepositions. I did not fix the second to last sentence in your letter, because I need to explain how to correct the sentence. Try something like They are amazing, powerful women who deserve better recognition. It would convey the same feelings you are trying to express in the letter.
- Hyphens can often be substituted in place for commas. You had a hyphen towards the end, so I removed it and put a comma in its place.

I hope that was of some help to you! :)

By the way, I don't understand the part about the school mascot. Do you mean to say you act as the school mascot at sporting games?

Very good Allison. You get an A+. :tehcool:

Corrections are in bold. Things that need to be taken out are struck out.



- If you put something inside quotation marks right at the end of a sentence, a period MUST be included INSIDE the quotation marks.
- Try not to end sentences in prepositions. I did not fix the second to last sentence in your letter, because I need to explain how to correct the sentence. Try something like They are amazing, powerful women who deserve better recognition. It would convey the same feelings you are trying to express in the letter.
- Hyphens can often be substituted in place for commas. You had a hyphen towards the end, so I removed it and put a comma in its place.

I hope that was of some help to you! :)

By the way, I don't understand the part about the school mascot. Do you mean to say you act as the school mascot at sporting games?
thanks and yeah..

If I were you, I wouldn't include "Women like that should not be on this planet."

It just sounds a little harsh to me...also, in a letter to a magazine, I think it's best not to come across as overly emotional.

Not to sound like an idiot but who is LC?

dont bother, they're not even going to read it.

The person that it's on a cover of mags is usually no one that contributes to society in any way. It's a publicity thing. I found the cover of LC here it is.

http://www.seventeen.com/issue/spc/0,,625918_669435,00.html

If I were you, I wouldn't include "Women like that should not be on this planet."

It just sounds a little harsh to me...also, in a letter to a magazine, I think it's best not to come across as overly emotional.

I agree with that.

Other than that, it's a very good letter.

stick with pure facts, your opinion, no emotions.

I think it's best not to come across as overly emotional.

Exactly, too much emotion can hurt more than help.

Not to sound like an idiot but who is LC?
Lauren Conrad...she was on "Laguna Beach" and now she is on "The Hills"

i'd also take out the word whore and use better examples...the ones you used aren't what Seventeen readers target market wants to read about.

I hate to overgeneralize but what do you expect from magazines like that? I mean it's not Time , but still seventeen does seem a little bit better than other of those teen magazines because they have a real life section and a health section. Sadly though the bulk of it is "girly stuff". I mean, look at the things that are mostly listed on that cover (how to meet hot guys).

The person that it's on a cover of mags is usually no one that contributes to society in any way. It's a publicity thing. I found the cover of LC here it is.

http://www.seventeen.com/issue/spc/0,,625918_669435,00.html
Lauren is in college and is pursuing a career in something that she's interested in. What's wrong with that? She might not be ending world hunger, but I don't see how she's a bad role model for teenagers. She's better than Kristin Cavalleri who is trying to stretch her 15 minutes of fame as far as it will go. And what do you expect from a magazine that has "690 Ways to Look Pretty"?

Lauren is in college and is pursuing a career in something that she's interested in. What's wrong with that? She might not be ending world hunger, but I don't see how she's a bad role model for teenagers. She's better than Kristin Cavalleri who is trying to stretch her 15 minutes of fame as far as it will go. And what do you expect from a magazine that has "690 Ways to Look Pretty"?


You need to ask that to the person writing the letter, not me.
I wasn't the one that called her a whore.

You need to ask that to the person writing the letter, not me.
I wasn't the one that called her a whore.
Oh haha sorry I didn't mean to quote you. I always get screwed up with the quick reply thing.

Lauren is in college and is pursuing a career in something that she's interested in. What's wrong with that? She might not be ending world hunger, but I don't see how she's a bad role model for teenagers. She's better than Kristin Cavalleri who is trying to stretch her 15 minutes of fame as far as it will go. And what do you expect from a magazine that has "690 Ways to Look Pretty"?

:yeahthat
Exactly and isn't she an intern at Teen Vogue????

Being an intern and going to school full time isn't an easy thing to do.